The crimson crystal reflected a ray of moonlight streaking through my window. It lit the many facets of my crystal floating above my cupped hands. With a sigh I moved toward my bed, watching the light cast dimly across my room. Our room.
So many memories, the crimson color reminding me of his eyes, the bright shade when he smiled at me, the light in them when he thought I was adorable, the dimness when he missed his home, the dark shade when he was aroused. Crimson, I had come to fall in love with that color.
The weight of emotions within me, dropped my head against the crystal, the cool touch of it barely registered before I felt memories assault me in pictures and videos.
Gentle tears spilled down my face. Christmas. My first time in the snow, laughing as I struck him with a snowball. The look of shock on his face then his ever neutral expression had turned into one of an amused smirk before he gunned me down with snowballs, chasing my squealing laughter through the woods.
I pull back from the crystal. It was a gift, something he had brought back from a trip to his homelands. He had given it to me for my birthday, wrapped in a simple black box, the crystal levitated over a small disc when it was on my table but recently I found it in my hands more often.
It levitated off of anything, never touching or dropping. A free spirit, it reminded me of his song one evening. I touched my forehead to the crystal once more, his song flooded my mind. His deep voice, reverberating, soothed the ache in my heart and the tears flowed again. The crystal replayed the embrace I had been in when he had sung to me. His slightly cooler body holding me protectively, shielding me as we watched a sunset.
He had said that the songs had been a tribute to the sun back home. I got off the bed where we had spent many nights exploring each other, learning the unique taste that was him, reveling in the utterly masculine sounds I wrought out of him.
I stood on the balcony, the moonlight caught the crystal in its rays casting reflections upon my face. The rays somehow seemed cool, like his fingers when he touched my face. Long Digits sweeping back my hair, guiding my face to his chest, holding my body close to his, stroking my body to comfort me or to arouse me. His touch always conveyed emotions, always filled me with whatever he felt.
The memory filled me with comfort. I looked up at the red planet in the night sky, barely visible from my balcony, Mars. His death had struck us all hard but I missed what no one else on his team ever had ever had from him. They all had his compassion, his wisdom and his eternal patience but I had had his love.
I missed the gentle whispers of affection, the warm smiles and kisses, the precious moments we had spent together traveling places, seeing the world through each others eyes.
A gravestone for J'onn J'onzz had been set up on earth but his body lay in the sands of Mars. It had been his last wish. I never visited his grave here. It didn't feel right. He wasn't there.
Clutching his gift to my chest I turned back to my bed, tonight I needed him desperately, his soul, his essence was forever held in the crystal he gave me. Tonight it would see me through till dawn, the memory of us.