written for QLFC, I had to write about muggleborn siblings, so i wrote about Lily and Petunia. yup
I told myself I loved my sister, even as she spurned me. I often reminded myself of the times when we were young, the way we'd play together, the days before bitterness invaded our life. But then I'd end up remembering Sev, and I didn't like doing that. So I'd end up wondering if it was my fault she hated me, that we were estranged, if my evil magic truly was the root of it. And then I would think of my life and the joys being a witch had led me to and I would come to my senses.
But still, I told myself I loved her.
"Lily, you still slouch. You'd think a musty old castle would have proper etiquette lessons."
It was hard to bite back my response of 'How would you know, you've never had an etiquette lesson in your life', but I did. I smiled thinly as I clenched my coffee mug.
"One of these days I'll stop slouching," I replied, sitting in a lawn chair to watch the boys in the back yard.
I'd been inviting Petunia to our monthly barbecues for nearly a year now, and she hadn't shown up once. At this point, the invites were more perfunctory than anything; or so I'd thought. Today she'd shown up brandishing her invitation like a weapon, almost demanding to join our little party. She was my sister, and I told myself that I loved her, so I said yes.
"Who's he?" said Petunia sharply, pointing to Remus, who was laying on the grass watching Peter, James, and Sirius toss a "Muggle weapon", as Sirius liked to call it.
"That's Remus," I told her, even though I'd already introduced them all to her.
"Is he homeless?"
My jaw clenched. "No," I said. "He's not homeless."
"He looks like he's homeless," she said. "Look at the state of his jeans. And he's so thin and pale. It's unhealthy."
"He has a condition," I snapped. "And you don't have to judge someone based on their clothes. Remus has had those jeans since sixth-year. They're old, that's all."
That, and he hadn't had a real job since he'd graduated and the full moon had been only a day earlier. Even if Remus had wanted to join in on the ball tossing (or whatever it was they were doing, since now Sirius was chasing James around and pelting him with it), he was probably too injured to do so.
"They're so immature," she said. "Is this what they do all day?"
"No," I said.
I wanted to tell her, no, of course this isn't what they do all day, that we're normal people with normal jobs. More than that, I wanted to tell her the truth.
I wanted to growl and tell her that James had a two-week mission starting tomorrow where he'd spend the entire time spying on Death Eaters, with no family or friends and cheer to keep him going. I wanted to tell her that Peter may have worked at a sandwich shop in the day, but at night he stayed late and kept it open so there would be a safe place to exchange our secrets, with him watching the door every second. I wanted to tell her that Sirius patrolled the skies on his "hippie bike," taking the hardest missions to prove to us all he wasn't true to the Black name.
I wanted to tell her that Remus was loyal, that Remus was tough and hard as nails, that Remus worked just as hard and just as long as the rest of them, but I didn't know that. What I knew was that Remus never told us where he was or what he was doing, and he came back from it quiet and moody. But I wanted to believe in him, wanted to believe that he was still ours, so if I never said anything and hoped I was wrong.
I wanted to tell my awful sister the truth, that we were fighting harder than her, that we had more purpose than her (no matter what side we were on). If I was honest with myself, I wanted to tell her that I was better than her.
I didn't. I just smiled at her and repeated myself.
"No," I said.
She rolled her eyes at me. "I got it the first time."
"Hey," said James, finally taking pity on me and joining us. "What're you two talking about?"
"Nothing much," I said with forced cheer. "Did you all have a good time?"
Peter, huffed his way to James's side, completely out of breath. It took a moment, but he was finally able to say, "Yeah, it was loads of fun, even if Sirius hogged the Quaffle."
"Ball," I corrected hastily, watching my sister out of the corner of my eye. "James, are you ever planning to cook? This is a barbecue."
"She's got you whipped, mate," said Sirius, slinging her arms around James's neck and grinning.
James nearly fell over. When he straightened back up, he shot me a sheepish smile that nearly made my heart melt. I watched him fix his glasses and scowl at Sirius with fondness.
"Cooking?" I reminded him again.
"Yeah, yeah I'm on it," grumbled James, smiling at me again.
I would never get used to how sincere his smile could be. Instead of the arrogance of our school days, his grin was filled with warmth and love, and it made me happy. That drained away, however, when I looked back at my sister. At least she had the decency to wait until the were out of earshot before she spoke again.
"Why him?" she said nastily. "There have to be a few decent men of your kind. Or you could forget all about the magic and find yourself a nice man."
"How do you do it?" I asked wearily.
"Excuse me?"
"How do you find the energy to be mean all the time?" I said. "How do you do it? James was never like that. He was an arse, yeah, and awful, but he never went out of his way to be petty! He just lived his life and doing that meant being an arsehole. But you...you say such awful things! I love you, or at least I try to, but you turn everything around on me and make it bitter and terrible!"
Petunia's mouth fell open and she stared at me. Our situation felt ridiculous now, the two of us sipping lemonade on lawn chairs. Remus was still laying on the grass, I noticed. He was so anti-social these days. Even more to make my heart feel sick.
"Is that how you feel about me," she said flatly.
"Yes," I said. "It is."
She was so still she could have been a statue.
"I love you too," she said stiffly.
She stood up so suddenly the chair fell over and walked away, her cheap sandals snapping against the pavement as her back disappeared from view. Sirius, oblivious to the situation, ran back onto the grass to drag Remus back to the group.
"Where's your sister gone?" asked James, donning his apron.
"I don't know," I said. "Gone."
He didn't look too upset. "That's too bad. Well, once Remus is back amongst the living we can finally get this barbecue started. I gotta say, it's my favorite of all your Muggle customs."
"Hey!" shouted Sirius suddenly. We all turned to look at him as he waved frantically. "Remus passed out!"
"Shit," swore James, racing out to meet Sirius and Remus. "I knew it was too soon for him to be walking around."
Peter, as usual, huffed and puffed behind them. I stood there, as still as Petunia had been just minutes before. She'd told me she loved me.
As I watched the three of them crowd around Remus, I realized I wouldn't trade anything for these men, not a thing. Certainly not a sister full of lies.