Val hesitated, hand poised to knock on Hiccup's door. Her son was hurting. He had lost his father and been forced into a job he had never wanted. It was understandable, and it was to be expected. But ach, it hurt her that her boy was in such pain. For weeks, he had functioned on autopilot. He spent very little time with this friends, even Astrid. His very rare spare time was usually spent with Toothless, and Toothless alone. He picked at his food and slept badly. He was quiet and tired and sadness dulled his bright eyes. If she caught his eye, or spoke to him about dragons, he'd smile and answer, but he was still not quite there. Valka wanted to help him, but she was still unsure who she was to this man who had once been her own.
Watching him hurt hurt her, too. She had to do something- had to try- how could she call herself his mother if she stood by while he needed someone?
She knocked.
"Come in, Mom," a quiet voice replied.
She stepped in. The room was dark and cluttered. Hiccup sat at his desk, doing some sort of figures. He looked exhausted.
"Son." She cleared her throat. "Are you alright, love?"
"Yeah, Mom, I'm fine." He didn't even look up.
"Hiccup, you're not."
He set his pencil down, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Fine. I'm not. How could I be?" His voice broke. "Dad..."
"Hiccup, I- I loved him too. Perhaps, if you talked to me..." her voice trailed off. Hiccup stared at her. His eyes seemed to change- they had grown dull, but now they sparked to life. But there was something foreign in them, something she had never seen in her boy.
"Talk to you?" he repeated. "You know how many times I wanted to talk to you, when I was growing up? Probably thousands, Mom. Dad never understood me- no one did! I was alone here- while you were off learning about dragons!"
"Hiccup, you know why I-"
"No!" he broke in. "Actually, I don't. I don't know why you thought it'd be better to let me grow up totally alone, without my own mother to take care of me. I don't know why you left us alone for twenty years. I don't know why. You knew how Dad was! You knew how I was a sick, small baby. You knew I wouldn't fit in. You knew Dad could barely cook or clean or keep house. You know who did that stuff? Me! I was a kid! And Dad, he tried, but it took almost fifteen years before we could actually-" he stopped, trembling. "You had a choice. You could've come back every single day. You chose to let go of Dad. I didn't get that luxury. He was my father, and the greatest man I've ever known, and I didn't even get to say goodbye." He took a deep breath. "I know you mean well. I know you loved him, in your own way. But you can't understand what I'm feeling."
Val felt her throat closing with tears. "You're right, son. I'm so, so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."
He started pacing. "Mom, it's not that- I appreciate that you're still here. But just because we're so similar, and you get the dragon stuff, that doesn't just make everything all okay. I can't forget all the times I needed you and you weren't here just like that. You know?" He sat down and sighed. "I am glad you're here. I need you here, Mom. But-I miss him. So much. He and I never saw eye to eye; he was easily the worst listener ever. We were still working out our kinks. But he was my dad. And I have no clue what I'm doing. I should've listened when he tried to teach me how to run the village. I need him, too, and he's gone." Hiccup bowed his head, and Val saw a few tears began to spill.
Val tentatively sat down beside her son. "Ay, he's gone. I'm lost withou' him, too, Hiccup. It's been twenty years since I was here. I don't know anything about Berk anymore- thanks to you, and to Stoick. I wish it wasn't this way, but we cannot bring him back. He's gone to Valhalla just a bit earlier than we all planned, and tha's a one way trip. You're doin' a fine job at being chief. You should've seen Stoick when he first got started- he was bumblin' around and makin' his father sweat until he finally got it figured out. You're gonna be fine, son."
Hiccup wrinkled his nose. Val hid a smile. He had done that often as a baby. How grown up he had gotten, her little boy. Why had she chosen to miss seeing it happen?
"Then there's Astrid," he added, running a hand over his hair. "The Elder took me aside yesterday and let it be known I need a chief's wife, ah, pronto, and very firmly suggested I propose to Astrid, like, now."
"Well, don't ya love the girl?"
"Of course I do!" He replied indignantly, almost yelled.
"I confess I don't see your difficulty, then."
"Trust me, I want to marry Astrid and produce little Hooligans, nothing would make me happier. But I want to do it on my own terms. I don't want Astrid to think I'm only asking because I need a wife before spring. I want to ask her because I- well, because I want to in that moment. " He swallowed, looking a little guilty. "Uh, plus she's a little- unhappy- with me."
"An' why's that?"
"She thinks I'm avoiding her," he sighed. "Which I only kind of am. Mostly, I'm just so busy. I know that's an awful excuse, but it's true. Even when I'm not, a lot of time I just want to be alone, except Toothless. And she gets that, because she's incredible, I just get the feeling she's a little- hurt. And I feel horrible about that. And then there's the lovely fact every minute I'm alone with her is another minute I'm supposed to propose to her. Augh!" He moaned.
Val shook her head. "You're overthinkin' it. I suggest you take a break, go fly a while, or talk to Gobber while you forge. Figure out what you're thinkin' and feelin'. Then come back, and you'll know what to do."
He nodded. "Thanks, Mom."
She grabbed his arm as he stood. "Hiccup- I hope you can give me a chance to make up for twenty years of my mistakes."
His eyes were guarded. "I can do my best," he said, and grabbed his harness from its hook before almost sprinting out the cabin. He called for Toothless, and they were in the sky in less than ten seconds.
"What was it really like for him, Gobber?" Val asked. Gobber frowned, switching out his dagger hand for his ordinary hook and returning to the saddle he was fashioning.
He sighed. "Do yeh really wan' to know, Valka? That's a painful tale, and there's not much either of us can do to help that now."
"I hafta know what my boy went through, Gobber," she said fiercely.
"Very well, I'll tell ya. Don' blame me if ya don't like it. You remember what he was like, when he was a babe. Tiny, sickly. That didn't go away. Kid almos' died so many times, I stopped keeping track. He was always different from the other kids. Never got big or strong. He got picked on when me or his father weren't around to tell them to knock it off. I cracked some heads, I'll tell you. He was a good little fellow. Stoick was pretty overwhelmed, with bein' a single parent and running Berk, so he made Hiccup my apprentice. I kept my eye on him. He was the damn brightest Viking we've ever had here. He tried very hard to get Stoick to approve of him, and to be a- well, a Viking. Got him in a lot of scrapes. He was a lonely kid. Didn't socialize much. I did my best with him, Val, I promise yeh that.
"He was fifteen when he invented this thingy- don' ask me to explain it, I can't even thinka the name- but anyway, he used it to shoot a dragon down 'cause he couldn't physically challenge it. An' that's how he got Toothless. Shot 'em down, and tracked him to the woods. He was gonna kill him, but he couldn't. Set 'im free, and kept going back to see him. When he saw that tail, he designed a new one, and he befriended Toothless. Learned to fly with 'im. Well, he was learning stuff from Toothless, so he was my shining star at dragon training. I had no clue, just thought he was finally comin' into his own. So he gets into the Kill Ring for his final exam, and he tries to show everyone how dragons really are. It gets messy real quick when Stoick realizes what's happenin', and Hiccup's about two seconds from dying when Toothless bursts in to defend him. Stoick took Toothless and used him to lead him to the dragon island. We didn't realize the queen would be so huge. I tell ya, we were all cooked when Hiccup and his friends showed up. Stoick realized Hiccup had been right all along, and freed Toothless and gave Hiccup an apology. Hiccup destroyed the Green Death (ya like the name? I came up with tha') but he fell into the fire. Toothless saved him, but that's how he lost his leg. After that, Hiccup changed everything about Berk. For the better, I'd say. Yeh got quite a son, Val." Gobber cleared his throat. "I'm sure you'd like more details, but tha's the gist."
She burst into tears.
"Now, Val," Gobber said, wrapping his arm not ending in a hammer around her.
"I should've come back," she cried. "My poor Hiccup."
"I'll be honest, he didn't have it easy. But we don't know what the gods plan for us, Valka. Maybe it was supposed to be exactly as it was."
"Do you think he can ever forgive me?"
"I wouldn't," Gobber laughed. "But he's an exceptional fella. He's mostly forgiven yeh already, Val. I think all you have to do now is stick around and keep sayin' sorry."
"That's my plan," Val said. Her tears were done. Vikings didn't cry long, otherwise they wouldn't be Vikings.
"Just get to know him, and show him who you are, too," Gobber said, turning back to his work.
"Ay," Val said, standing up. "Thank ye, Gobber. You don't know how good it is to be back in this forge."
Gobber grinned. "Get home, Val. Heat something up for Hiccup to eat. No meatballs, though."
She snorted. "Never again. Not after the last time. What was it you compared them to?"
"Gronkle eggs. Rock hard and liable to explode."
Val smiled, really smiled, for the first time in days.
"Hi, milady," Hiccup said from where he was perched on Astrid's window ledge. Toothless waited on the ground below, looking up and anxiously hoping Hiccup didn't fall out of the window.
"Hi, stranger," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. He flinched a little. "I'm really sorry. I have so much to tell you! Can you spare a few hours?"
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"
"We-ell, technically I'm supposed to be meeting with Bork to talk about...um...think it has to do with sheep, maybe." He frowned, then shook his head. "But for you? I have all the time in the world."
She couldn't not smile at the earnest expression on his face. "Alright, goofball. I'll get Stormfly. Where are we flying?"
"The cove. I'm feeling nostalgic," he chuckled.
"Race you?"
"That contradicts my 'all the time in the world' thing pretty drastically."
"You're just scared to lose."
"Fine, Hofferson." He hopped down from the ledge. "Saddle up."
Hiccup slowed down as they rode, only winning by just a little. Toothless got annoyed with him when he let Astrid win, which he did from time to time just because she was so competitive. He kind of thought that was cute, but he didn't say stuff like that to Astrid much because she'd probably hit him. She glared at him as she dismounted, starting to complain, and he couldn't resist kissing her.
"What was that for?" she demanded.
"Has my technique slipped?" he wondered. "I'm usually a little better received than that." She swatted his arm. "I'm just happy to see you," he laughed.
She bumped his shoulder. He bumped back before grabbing her hand and pulling her onto the grass next to him.
"So, what's up?" she asked, turning towards him and propping herself up on her elbows.
"I- wow, there's so much. Remind me to never go so long without seeing you again."
"That can be arranged," she said, smiling.
"Well, I kind of yelled at my mom this morning."
"Why?"
"She was trying to be all mom-like on me, and I kind of let loose all my emotions on her about Dad and the whole being gone for twenty years thing."
"Whoa. How'd it go?"
He screwed up his mouth. "Good, I think. I feel better, at least."
"You look better."
"Gee, thanks. I always love your self-esteem boosts."
"Oh, shut up. I meant you look happier. I was really starting to worry about you."
"I know, and I'm sorry. I just- I miss him."
She squeezed his hand. "I know."
"I'll be okay," he promised. "This chiefing thing is insane, Astrid. I don't know how Dad did it for so long."
"You're doing fantastic," she told him. He grimaced. "I don't know about that, but thanks."
"You are," she insisted. He smiled. "What have you been up to, love o' mine?"
"Keeping Snotlout and the twins in line, mostly," she rolled her eyes. "You'll never guess what they managed to get up to with just four terrible terrors and one battle ax..."
He lay back on the grass and let her voice wash over him, watching how her lips shaped her words and how she threw her braid over her shoulder when it got in her way. He thought about how he would propose, when the moment was right. He loved this girl. He wanted to marry her. It didn't particularly matter what the Elder said. He was chief. He'd do things his own way. That was his way, and it'd served him well up to this point. He'd figure everything out, and it would be okay. He'd make his dad and his people proud. For now, this was enough.
"Hey," Hiccup called as he removed his riding gear and hung it up. Toothless padded in after him, sniffing the air. "Mom? Are you cooking?"
"Sorta," she called back.
He poked his head in. "Ah. You're heating up stew I made. Thus the 'sorta.'"
"It's still a hot meal," she said, offering him a bowl, which he took.
"Thanks, Mom," he said, and kissed her cheek briefly.
She smiled. "Sit. Eat."
He sat and ate. He smiled at her some. For now, that was enough. She would learn to be a mother to a boy (a man) not just dragons. She would learn how to be one of these new and better Vikings. She would learn to live with her sins. She'd earn her son's trust. It would take time, but she'd do it. They'd figure everything out, slowly, and it would all be okay again.
And that is my first HTTYD2 fic. It's also one of the longest oneshots I've ever written, especially in one sitting. I'm still wrestling with some emotions about that movie, honestly. Valka's whole pre kidnapping storyline seems off to me. What's more off to me is that Hiccup just kind of rolls with the fact his mom abandoned him for twenty years. My best explanation for that is that he was so amazed to have her back he didn't want to spoil that with anger. But as Freud says, when we bury emotions they pop back up eventually in uglier ways. I'm also not sure where I stand with Valka's character. I highly recommend reading Astrid Goes For A Spin's Paying Her Dues to get a Val lens- I did, before I wrote this. I'll be interested to see where HTTYD3 goes.
I also feel compelled to add that that technically, Hiccup should already be married. Vikings usually got married ay about sixteen. However, I suspect DreamWorks felt that would've been weird, so that didn't happen.
I hope I did alright with this one- I would LOVE a review on that subject, actually. Writing inside Val's head was hard.