Author's Note: This is a story that popped into my head when i saw the preview for "Leave Out All the Rest" I know that it doesn't follow even remotley what will happen in the show, but i had to write it. Grissom's point of view...character death...i'm sorry. I'm not sure how good it is, i might revise it in the future...anyway, i hope you like it.
It had been a long day. No that was a lie…it had been the longest and most testing day I had had in a long while. I was cold, I was wet, and I was heartbroken.
I stood back and watched as Catherine and Nick began to process the scene a truck driver had stumbled upon. I found myself at the current moment, in too much pain to do my job properly…to function properly.
I replayed, and replayed the video Sara had sent me in my mind. Her words echoing in my head like a distant memory that just wouldn't leave.
I thought we could survive anything…I wish that we could talk in person, but I'm happy…If a relationship can't move forward, it withers…
"Grissom." Catherine's voice broke through my self-destructive memory.
"Yeah Cath?" I asked looking up at her, trying my hardest to look unfazed and in control.
"We're done here, David's here to take the body back to the lab, Nick and I were going to take the evidence back to the lab in Nick's Denali…are you going to be okay?"
I tried my hardest to look surprised at her question, like her worry was so misplaced in me.
"What are you talking about Catherine…I'm fine…why wouldn't I be?"
Catherine sighed deeply and looked up at me with eyes that were mixed with concern, reluctance, and maybe even a bit of sadness.
"Have you heard from Sara?" She asked quietly…so quietly in fact I almost didn't hear her over the deafening storm that was upon us.
I wanted to break down then…just let it out and confide in my friend the depression that had settled more deeply upon me since this early evening.
"No Catherine…I haven't." I said, the lie tasting so bitter on my lips I almost made myself sick. The memory of the video restarted and became fresh in my mind once again. "But I've heard that she's back in San Francisco, and that she's doing well, and that she's…happy." The last word tasted more bitter than the lie that had preceded it.
Catherine looked disappointed "She hasn't tried to call or e-mail you at all?" She pressed searching for the lie she was sure I had told.
The woman knew me too well, and it pained me to distort the image of Sara she held but I couldn't tell her the truth and have her ask me questions about the distressing video. "No Catherine…she has not."
She nodded slowly, shivering slightly in the rain, even though she had an umbrella, she was soaked.
"Go back to the lab," I said tonelessly "Get dry and warm…I'll meet you there, I promise I'm fine."
She nodded again, but this time she turned to leave, but before she got more than three feet away from me, she turned and said "Be careful Gil…it's dangerous…on the roads."
I nodded as she turned and began to walk away again, heading towards Nick who was loading evidence into the back of the Denali.
I looked around, making sure there were still officers present, and once satisfied that there were still officers keeping an eye on the scene, I turned and walked towards my Tahoe, parked about a hundred feet away.
I didn't know what to do anymore. My worst fear had come true and now I had to learn how to live my life without Sara Sidle by my side.
I unlocked the door of my truck and got in, starting up the engine quickly. For a minute I just sat there, staring at the beam of light my headlights made. Illuminating what was once dark before, I was mesmerized by the continuous rain falling from the dark and stormy sky. The scene before me, minus the dead body and all the officers, reminded me of a not so distant memory of a night I had shared with Sara.
Similar to this night it had been raining and it was night time. Sara and I had gone out to the desert to watch the sun set, but before the sun got all the way over the horizon, a fierce storm came upon us. As it just so happened, we retreated to this very car, which we had driven out there early in the evening. That night after we had sat there and watched the headlights shed light on the beautiful vastness of the empty desert, the rain falling steadily…we made love in the back seat.
Feeling the almost sickening nostalgia of the memory set in I tried to shake my head clear and put the car into reverse.
Driving along the deserted desert road my thoughts, against my will, drifted to Sara. Where was she really? Was she honestly happy? Did she miss me…did she miss us? Had she moved on? Was she with someone right now…trying to forget everything we had ever had?
The questions I kept repeating and trying to answer, were enough to last the whole car ride back to the nearly empty lab. I pulled into the lab parking garage and parked in my usual spot, by the door and next to the empty parking spot that used to belong to…Sara.
I ignored the new wave of ache that settled deep within me and got out of my car. I slammed the car door shut behind me and I proceeded to the garage entrance into the lab.
Just as I walked inside I got a call from Doc Robbins.
"Grissom." I answered in my usual way.
"Gil…I've got something you should see down here…how far away are you?" Doc asked in a business like tone.
"I actually just walked into the lab; I can be there in five minutes." I said, feeling kind of normal for a fleeting second. Even with the memories of Sara surrounding me where ever I went in that lab, work was the only thing that could make me feel even remotely normal.
"Great, I'll see you in five." Doc said before I heard a click on the other end of the phone.
I made my way to my office and hung my wet coat up on a coat rack, and exchanged it for a warm sweater, one that Sara had bought me last Christmas.
I then began to make my way down to the lab.
"Grissom." I heard my name shouted. I turned my head to see Catherine standing in the doorway of a layout room.
"Yeah Catherine?"
"Can you come and look at this evidence?"
"Later, I'm on my way to the morgue…I'll be there in ten minutes."
Catherine nodded and then turned to walk back into the layout room.
I turned and resumed my journey to the morgue. When I got there Doc Robbins was waiting for me, with our victim on the morgue table.
"What have you got for me doc?" I asked as I came to stand on the opposite side of the table as him.
"Time of death was about five pm today. Cause of death appears to be a stab wound just below his chest which punctured his lung."
"So what did you need me to see?" I asked slowly.
"This…" He said as he pointed to the victim's chest. I my eyes followed to where his finger pointed. I didn't know what to make of it at first…who would do this…why would they do this?
"What is it?" I asked leaning a little bit closer to get a better inspection of the injury our victim had suffered.
"Eighteen gage needle, priced the areola on both sides" Doc Robbins said as he pointed to the small red bumps that surrounded.
"This makes no sense, why would someone do that, I mean…" I trailed off realizing something suddenly.
"I was thinking that too…here are the pictures I took before the autopsy. Show them to Catherine and Nick and then maybe take it over to…"
"I got in Doc…thanks. Call me if you find anything more." I said stepping away from the table.
Doc Robbins nodded, realizing that maybe he had come a little too close to stepping over the edge.
I walked quickly out of the morgue, a new situation on my hands and now, two women on my mind.
I made my way to the layout room, where Catherine and Nick were still pouring over evidence sprawled out across the table. I walked in, clearing my throat as I did so, so the pair would look up from their intense review of the evidence.
They looked up at me and waited intently for me to begin speaking.
"I just paid a visit to Doc…you guys should take a look at this." I said stepping further into the room and handing the pictures I had in my hand to Nick.
He took them into his hand, and walked closer to Catherine so she too could see what I had handed to him.
"What is it?" Nick asked after staring at the picture for a minute.
"Puncture wounds…eighteen gage needle which priced the areolas." I said slowly, walking where they both stood.
"But who would do this…" Catherine began and then she looked at me with wonder in her eyes.
"S and M?" I asked, speaking out loud what had just dawned on Catherine.
"Wait…you're not saying….could it be one of…" Nick began.
"Heather's?" I asked, again finishing what Nick had been trying to speak.
Nick nodded and Catherine looked at the other evidence. "The submissive…" She said softly.
"What was that Catherine?" Nick asked.
"We need to find more evidence…if working with these kinds of situations has taught me anything…we've just scratched the surface." Catherine said louder this time.
There was silence for a couple of moments and then it was broken by Catherine's cell phone.
"Willows." She answered. The phone call lasted a minute or two in which Catherine asked questions and Nick and I listened. The phone called ended with "Thanks Brass, we'll be there as soon as possible."
"What did Brass have for us?" Nick asked once Catherine was off the phone.
"He wasn't very specific, but he said that we should get down there and quick." Catherine said as she went about putting away the evidence to be locked up.
"What's going on?" I asked, my need to supervise taking over.
"Archie got a hit off a finger print…apparently Brass got a lead off of it." Nick said as he began to help Catherine.
"Are you coming with us Grissom?" Catherine asked as she closed the lid on a now full box of evidence.
I considered the offer and decided that I should go. "Yeah, I'll meet you guys in the break room in five minutes."
I saw them both nod before I left the room, heading from my office. Once I was there, I closed the door behind me. This was turning out to be a much longer night that I had anticipated. I needed comfort…I needed Sara…
I sighed and shook my head clear or at least tried to. I grabbed for the spare jacket I kept here just in case something happened on the job and put it on, my other one still drying. I took a glance at my surroundings and realized that I had really let my office go; clutter invaded the room everywhere I looked. I would have to do something about that.
I shook my head again and turned to leave my office, closing and locking the door behind me once I was out in the hallway. I started on my way to the garage, passing the break room as I did so, but once I reached that checkpoint I had to stop. Something caught my eye.
I stepped inside the empty room and looked to where all the coffee mugs where hung up. I stepped closer to this and realized what had made me stop. Sara's cup still hung up on the rack, right next to Warrick's. I rubbed my eyes, feeling suddenly drained and a slight bout of nausea coming on.
I left the room quickly, knowing if I stayed that I would end up calling Sara, either that or crying.
I entered the garage and saw Catherine and Sara waiting for me by the Tahoe.
"What took you so long Griss?" Nick asked giving me a puzzled and questioning look.
"I got caught up in something." I mumbled as I walked to the passenger side, handing Catherine the keys as I did so. "You drive; I assume you know the way."
I saw Catherine nod out of my peripheral vision and felt her knowing and pitying eyes on me.
Catherine got in on the driver's side and I got in on the passenger and Nick got sat in back. Catherine started the car and drove out of the garage and into the Las Vegas night where anything could happen.
The silent drive lasted for about thirty minutes, the route we took, I thought would lead us to Heather's "house" but instead three quarters of the way there we took a sharp left onto a derelict road and ended up somewhere else, but somewhere close.
When we got there, there were three squad cars already there; I could see Brass standing outside the door waiting.
"What have you got for us Brass?" Catherine called once we were all out of the car.
"The place where our killer did her costumers bidding." He said vaguely.
The rain beat down on the metal sides and roof of the building, it looked deserted, but something told me that the inside was far from it.
Brass gave acknowledgement to Nick and Catherine but skipped me, I knew he would be upset with me for a while…he always was when I caused Sara pain.
He opened the door for us and said "The rooms have been cleared, it's all yours."
Nick nodded and Brass followed us in, directing us where to go and after two left turns we ended at our destination.
Nick opened the door and we all stepped into the darkness. I heard him flip the light switch and the lights flickered monetarily before sterile white lights let me see the answers to things I already knew.
What a normal person would think to be torture devices, I knew to be sex toys surrounded me, Catherine, Jim, and Nick.
"Can you guys process this…I have to go somewhere." I said slowly, looking around the room.
"Yeah sure Gris…" Nick began.
"Thanks guys." I cut him off before he could ask me where I was going.
I could feel Catherine's eyes boring into the side of my body as she looked at me with something that felt like shock and disapproval. She knew where I was going, but what my intentions were for going there were unclear to her, and I hate to admit it, unclear to me as well.
I left the building quickly, the officers outside gave me weird looks as I hurried to the Tahoe we had taken over, Nick and Catherine could get a ride with the officers back to the lab.
I took the abandoned road back to the main road and followed it without having to think and took it to a place I knew very well.
It took me all of ten minutes to reach my destination and once I did, I hesitated. I sat in my car on the drive way for a fleeting second and then decided I had to do this…for the sake of the case at least.
I walked quickly through the rain to the large and almost intimidating front stoop, if you could even call it that without diminishing the grandness of it all. I walked up to the door and rang the door bell, which I could hear reverberating on the inside walls from where I stood. Just then Sara's face flashed through my mind and I felt guilty, what would she door if she could see me know?
The door opened and I almost jumped when the light hit me and I saw Heather peering at me from behind the door before stepping out from behind it to stand fully in the doorway "Grissom?" I heard her sweet voice ask in surprise.
"Heather…I have a case…" I began slowly not know what else to say.
She nodded and stepped aside to let me in. Once I was inside she closed the door behind be and we stood in silence.
I turned to her and she said "Let's go into the drawing room."
I nodded and followed her into a well furnished room.
"Tell me about your case Grissom…does it involve one of my girls?"
"I think so, but the evidence hasn't told me for sure…our victim was a submissive who enjoyed pain."
Heather nodded slowly and then said "Why are you here Gil? You know what we do here…you know the rules we follow…the way we do things…"
"I know." I said cutting her off and then sighing and stepping to the window. I watched the rain run down the pain of glass that separated me from the storm.
Heather stepped beside me, close to me, and said softly "Does Sara know you're here?"
I looked at her, knowing pain was showing through my eyes. "No." I whispered.
"Then why are you here Gil?" She asked again, this time more gently and caringly.
"I don't know." I said honestly.
"What do you want from me?" She asked, her breathe caressing my ear.
"I…I need…" Just than my phone rang. I jumped and looked down at my pocket.
I pulled out my phone and looked at the caller ID. It read SARA'S CELL. I looked at it with an ache in my heart…I couldn't bring myself to answer it…not here…not when I was with her.
I hit the silent button and looked to Heather.
"Was that the team or was that her?" She asked softly, stepping closely to me.
"Heather…I…my life…" I tried to explain again.
"Come here, sit down and tell me about it." She gently grabbed my arm and led me to a couch where she sat me down. She sat down opposite me and stared at me intently.
"I don't know where to begin." I said honestly.
"Start from the beginning." She said soothingly.
"A few weeks back the team and I went out for breakfast after shift…Warrick was out in the ally…he…he was shot…"
"I know…I read about…heard about it… I am so sorry Gil…I know what he meant to you." She said caressing my hand gently.
I found surprising comfort and not guilt in her touch and found myself wanting to talk more.
"I held him in my arms…as he died…I didn't know how to handle it. Sara came back from San Francisco that day. Someone must have called her and told her, because I didn't…anyway I came to my office that afternoon and there she was…sitting in a chair waiting for me. That night we made love…I felt whole again…even with Warrick…" I couldn't bring myself to say dead so I started somewhere else. "The following night after shift Sara and I were lying in bed…she asked me to go with her…she said we could follow in the footsteps of Darwin…I knew she wanted me to go away her, but right after Warrick's funeral and the team was short staffed, I couldn't…I said no in the most indirect way I could…I could tell I had hurt her and let her down, but I had to…I just…I had no choice.
"Sara got caught up in case with a man she had become close to on a case she worked a couple years back. It hit her hard and took a toll on her, especially after I had basically flat out refused to go away with her, refused to even go back home with her. When I got home that night…she was gone…no note…no nothing. I had no idea where she had gone. I got a video from her tonight…telling that she wished she could see me but she was happy…I…I'm…"
"Hurt." She said bluntly.
"That doesn't even scratch the surface." I said, feeling tears I had repressed come up to the surface.
Heather nodded and pulled me into a tender hug. When she pulled back, I couldn't help myself…I kissed her.
She didn't resist and it deepened quickly. I knew it was wrong…Sara hadn't even been gone that long, and here I was about ready to take my clothes off with Heather.
And it did come to that, one kiss led to another and soon we found ourselves in Heather's bed room. One touch after the other, one tender whisper of condolence from her led to another piece of my clothes or hers falling to the floor.
I was mildly aware of my phone ringing two times during the whole thing, but I never stopped. And when it was all over, Heather and I held each other, I found the comfort I had needed.
My phone rang again and this time I reached for it. It was Brass.
"It's Brass." I said to Heather. She nodded and I opened my cell phone "Grissom."
"Gil…its Catherine, where are you?" I heard Catherine's frantic and wounded voice on the other end.
"Catherine why are you on Jim's phone…is Jim alright?" I asked becoming worried myself.
"Jim is fine, I left my phone in the car…Gil I need you to come to where we are…you need to know…oh God Gil…it's horrible…I can't believe it, I can barely breathe, Nick…he…he…I don't know where he went after he saw…oh God Gil I don't know how to tell you this…you have to come." Catherine cried into the phone.
I sat up in the bed, no very worried "Catherine what's happened, tell me."
There was a long silence and then I heard her whisper "Its Sara…she's…she was…oh God…she's in Vegas…she's hurt….she's….just get down her damn it!"
"Oh God Catherine where are you?" I asked, putting two and two together. Sara was calling because she was in Vegas, was she calling because she was hurt too?
"Ally way outside the Bellagio…you need to hurry."
I slammed the phone shut and scrambled for my clothes.
"Gil what's wrong?" Heather asked, worried herself.
"Sara's back in Vegas…she's hurt." I said frantically, pulling my shirt over my head.
"Will you come back?" She asked, not sounding like herself.
I stopped for a minute, my hand on the door, ready to leave. "Yes." I said not sure whether that was a lie yet or not.
She nodded and I left quickly, racing out of the house and to the Tahoe that sat where I had left it in the drive way. I jumped in and started the ignition, tearing out the driveway and speeding back into the heart of Vegas.
It didn't take me long to get to the Bellagio and to find the twenty squad cars parked at a nearby ally. My heart plummeted.
I parked quickly and jumped out the car and ran to the scene, I saw Catherine as raced to her, wanting to know everything I could.
"Catherine what's going on?" I asked.
She turned to face me and saw that she was crying, her eyes were extremely bloodshot and puffy and her cheeks were red.
She shook her head, hugging herself, "Catherine what happened…is Sara okay…where is she?" The urgency inside me was becoming too much to bear, I needed to know.
Again Catherine shook her head.
"Catherine God damn it! Tell me!" I shouted, scaring her slightly.
"She's in the ally…Brass and Doc are there." She whispered. I could barely hear her, but I knew that what she was saying was not good.
"Why is Doc here? What's happened?" I asked urgently.
"Go see for you self!" She suddenly shouted, before she turned away from me.
I looked to where all the squad cars where and ran over there as fast as I could. I ducked under the tape, a sickening feeling in my gut worsening.
No one stopped me, just watched me as I raced to where Brass, Doc, and a few other CSI's stood, blocking my view from anything.
I got there just in time to hear Doc say "Time of death…1:06." My heart dropped to the floor and I thought I would die.
"Sara…Sara…SARA." I shouted once Doc stepped away.
Brass turned a looked at me and walked up to me to hold me back.
There on the ally way ground was Sara's body turned face up and bloody from head to foot. Next her was a man I didn't know. Sara was missing her top and had several contusions to her face. Her eyes were opened and blank….she was…she was gone.
"Come on Gil…you don't need to be here…come on." Brass said gently pushing me away from the scene.
"What do you mean…that's…I need to be with her…I love her…Brass stop…SARA!"
Another CSI joined in helping Brass take me away from the scene.
"Gil…I am so sorry…" Brass began once I was safely positioned against a squad car.
"What happened?" I whispered "Who did this?"
"Gil…are you sure you want to hear this?" Brass hesitated.
I nodded numbly.
"She was rapped…several times. This isn't where she died though; she and her…friend…were dumped here, after what I suspect to be the night from hell. She was stabbed and beaten severely, so was her…friend…she…" Brass began to choke up and stopped, unable to speak anymore.
The red and blue lights on top of the squad cars began to give me a head ache, which made me feel all the more sick.
"There's another thing…" Brass said once he had composed himself.
"What?" I asked, not sure I wanted to know.
"The last three calls on her cell phone were to…you." He said quietly.
My stomach sank…OH GOD!
I whipped out my phone and saw that I had three missed calls and three messages.
All three calls were from Sara, 11:20, 11:25, and 11:30. I wanted to die.
I opened up my voice mail and heard what I never wanted to hear…what made me die inside.
Gil…its Sara…I'm back in Vegas…but I don't know where I am…Gil I know I hurt you but…I'm scared….please Gil answer you phone…I'm in trouble…I'm a trunk right now with my…my friend…Gil please…I need you.
The next message started…
Gil…we just passed your street…I don't know where were going…I know you're at work…but my phone still has the tracking device…please Gil…he wants to hurt us…don't let me die here.
The last message began…the last time I would ever hear Sara's sweet voice.
Gil…I'm going to die here…I'm hurt…I'm cold…I'm scared…I don't know what to do… there was an extremely long pause…make sure Ben's parents know…let everyone at the lab know I love them…I don't want to die Gil, not like this…not in the ally…I love you…
I bent over and vomited violently on the ground.
The only thing I could hear now was…
I thought we could survive anything…I wish that we could talk in person, but I'm happy…If a relationship can't move forward, it withers…I will never forget you, I hope you won't forget me…I will always remember you and carry you in my heart and take you with me wherever I go…I will always love you Gil Grissom…Goodbye…
A/N so there it is, i hoped you liked it!