My Ex – expansion
Based on chapter 256 of 'Another year of Mystrade'
That was the last thing on my mind of everything that could happen tonight was a fight. I mean seriously, Mycroft and I were supposed to go to dinner, have a good time, come home, and doing everything except fight. In fact we were supposed to do the opposite of fighting.
But of course, something would go wrong. Something always does.
Turns out that of all the people we could run into, it had to be Mycroft's ex. Who knew, the man has exes…very well of exes…who travel the world…who meets celebrities on a daily basis…who thinks holidays in Paris are for cheapskates…who…is everything I am not.
Granted when Mycroft introduced us, he didn't falter or stutter when he explained that I am just a copper, but the way Mr Ex looked at me…I bet I was the slimy alien that jumped out of the chest and had the audacity to get the 100% Egyptian linen full of alien slime.
The night went downhill after that, every smile and happiness I had slowly melted away, like the ice-cream in my bowl…a white sticky creamy mess that swirled in the bowl, and refused to be picked up by my spoon.
Mycroft could see something was off, and he knew something was wrong when I answered my phone like a lifeline, hoping it was case, begging the universe that someone was killed so I could get out of this place. On top of my insecurity and feelings of worthlessness, I just added guilt and shame, that I wished someone died…
I couldn't get out of the restaurant fast enough, I didn't even kissed Mycroft goodbye…didn't want my alien slime to infect him too, dammit I'm a mess.
I try to forget about what happened, and kept my eyes on the crime scene if front of me, this is what I know; this is what I feel good about…
"Greg!" I jumped at the yell and turned to Sally.
"What?"
"Your phone's been ringing and I'm pretty sure you just got a text."
I look down to my phone, yes…two miss calls…one message.
"We need to have a long talk…seeing my ex didn't do well for you and I want to know why, come home as soon as you can. Please. MH"
Yeah, that's not going to happen, I'm going to take my sweet time with the case, until I feel strong enough to face him.
I should go home I know that. The thing is I can't. Mycroft will see right through me and he will extrapolate every thought and idea and I'm not sure I'm ready for that to be brought out in the open.
I mean, it's one thing when it's deep down in the cobweb filled corners of my mind, but it's a completely different thing when it is being voiced by Mycroft Holmes in some kind of documentary about the latest mental health and concerns of partners...
I took my time as I said I would, and Mycroft knew it too. The screen with his message just dimmed and fade like my confidence. I ran my thumb over the screen and it lit up.
The words lit up like neon flashing lights on top of an adult store in some alley.
"I know you're procrastinating. Stop it and come home. Please. MH"
I can't keep the smile off my face, he knows me, he wasn't even angry and that kind of makes it worse. It means he understands my reasoning and is giving me my space, to a point though.
The flush of the toilet startles me and I turned to Dimmock.
"Thought you went home already?" He asked with a frown as he stood next to me to wash his hands.
"Yeah...about to go now." He nodded at my reply.
"Good, you've been here long enough, and I know how keen you are these days to go home to Mycroft.
I smiled, it's true, ever since we went public with our relationship it was obvious that I want to go home, I have someone waiting for me, someone that is happy to see me...oh I'm such an idiot.
"You're right I should get a move. See you later." I rushed out of the bathroom to my office, picking up my jacket and wallet and made my way out.
He likes me for me right? That should be enough and I can't let anything else keep me from being happy, especially me. With some renewed confidence I climbed in the car and made my way home.
Communication... I once told Mycroft how important it is for good communication and then I myself step in the hole of miscommunication. My insecurity has always been the one thing that ruined my happiness. Give me a case and I'm fine, long hours? Anytime but a real chance to be happy. ...oh nope.
My good mood plummeted the moment I turned into our street, there's a new Bugatti Veyron shining in the afternoon light, a couple cars down there's a Maserati...I looked down and for the second time I noticed all the cars... Mercedes-Benz in all shapes, sizes and times...BMW and porches...two Lamborghinis and oh even a few jaguar's lined the street. Me...I'm in good old dependable Vauxhall Astra, commonly known as the Opel... she had a few numbers on her clock, a chip in the front screen that can blind you certain times of the day depending on the sun. Nothing you can really write home about.
The first time I noticed all these cars were the first time I was invited to Mycroft's house... since I moved in I was always too busy and too happy to noticed. Today however it was burning in my eyes... could be tears or exhaustion not sure at the moment.
Mycroft's black car was standing in its usual spot, waiting for my car to complete the picture.
I opened the gate with my remote and slowly drove in, the gravel and pebbles crackling under my tyres. I took a deep breath before climbing out of the car and making my way to the front door. The only shining key on my set was the house keys, all other have been tainted by my commonness or something. The door opened to the foyer, elegantly and classically decorated. It used to intimidated me to no end, I thought I got used to it when my stuff started to appear as well but apparently today it did nothing.
Closing the door with a soft thud I missed the confidence I had back at the Yard, now that I'm faced with the wealth and style of a place I think of as home, I'm a bit lost.
"You're home." Somehow Mycroft managed to walk up to me without noticing, I turned to him and had the overwhelming desire to either grab him and held on to him as my life depended on it, on the other hand I wasn't sure what I wanted.
Mycroft hasn't been home for long, his jacket was off, the silver sleeve holders in place, ever since we started dating his switch from black to silver. I liked it. Then again he can wear pink ones and I would think it was hot. The navy waistcoat was impeccable but the watch was off and the top button undone. He liked it like that, I like it that too.
I've been trying to prolong the moment when I had to look in his eyes, not sure what I'd find but the moment I did, I couldn't hide the emotions. It wasn't filled with sympathy or understanding but love. Undeniably love.
"Hey." I uttered out but it came out like a sigh. My body and mind were so tired all of a sudden. Mycroft stepped closer and pulled me in a embraced that somehow managed to push away the frustration and negativity from my body and mind. I wrapped my arms around him and clung to him.
"Talk? Food? Bath? Sleep? Or food, bath, talk, sleep?" Mycroft softly asked and I could only shrug, I was hoping for something that doesn't have the words talk...but I don't I'm going to be so lucky.
"We will have to talk about this." I hate it when he's right. ...okay no I love it.
"Food...then the rest." I answered and almost whined when he pulled away to push me to the kitchen.
Dinner was what I could only described as my version of "comfort food" steak with cheese and mushroom sauce...crispy potato wedges and some green salad... Mycroft once frowned but quickly realised that it was my go to meal when things were tough.
"Thank you." The best part was that Mycroft had a similar plate in front of him, a bit more salad but the steak and wedges were there. Instead of wine we each had a glass of beer, good expensive beer but beer nonetheless.
We ate in silence but the good kind, filled with just us, companionship and understanding.
I knew we had to talk and I had to start it, I couldn't expect Mycroft to start it, I'm the one who walked out I'm the one who should finish it. I waited till we reach the stairs before I grabbed his hand. He looked at me with a slight frown, he expected me to wait but I couldn't.
"I'm sorry for my behaviour yesterday."
"It was the first time in our relationship that you were truly happy to leave."
He was right, it was and I had no idea how to explain to him what went on in my head.
"I know."
"It started when I introduced Falkner to you."
Falkner Walsh, the ex...the EX...even his name sound like something out of a Victorian documentary about the history of the English knights or something.
"Yes...I..." what the hell am I supposed to say?
"You were intimidated by him, and I don't know why."
"Well look at him...and look at me!" I exclaimed unable to hold back. How can he not see it? It's louder than anything I could ever say.
"I'm quite aware of how you look and him for that matter."
"See? Exactly."
"Gregory, I don't understand."
"He thinks weekends away to Paris is too pedestrian and low class, I think a quiet b&b in the country side, maybe close to a lake or ocean is heaven. He only wears clothes that could feed the whole of Africa with one outfit, me? I am happy when I find a good shirt at Primark or even New Look.. my favourite t-shirts I get at record stores and markets...Can't even feed the both of us with the price let alone a continent...and the food...give me a happy 10quid sandwich and I'm happy, his water doesn't even reach a ten quid mark...maybe a sip..." I rambled off...
"It's why I love you as much as I do."
"And the way he looked at me...wait...what...?" In my rambling I completely missed that statement and from the look Mycroft is giving me he realised it's only registered now and started to give me a small shy smile.
"You heard."
"You love me because I'm cheap?" I asked and was rewarded with an eye roll that could put the Queen to shame.
"I love you because your real."
Still not getting it, what's Falky, some mass hallucination?
"I don't..."
Mycroft grabbed me by my hand and pulled me up the stairs. He walked till I was standing in front of the mirror with him behind me.
He reached over my shoulders to undo my shirt.
"You are not defined by this material, it's not who you are, it's something you use...the same with your trousers. It is not your armour like my clothes are, or his, we use the clothes to present an image to the world, you wear it, because it is illegal to be naked – if I could I would be okay with it – the thing is Gregory, I love you because of how you enlighten my life, how you showed me that all these material things doesn't matter. I had it for years and it didn't give me peace, it didn't melt my heart like your smile did. After a bad day at work I would come home, drink a glass of whatever I would fancy and think about the new challenge, the new solution."
I stared at him out eyes meeting in the mirror and I was beyond speechless, he was undressing me slowly and with every word it felt like he was not only taking my clothes off, but my insecurity, my low self-esteem until my soul, my heart was naked in front of him. He was talking about how I enlighten him, but the fact is, right now he was lighting me up, the man he think I was, is what I always wanted to be, and for some reason, it was dormant in me. He knew it too, the look in his eyes was telling me that he knew what he was doing, but he was it doing for the both of us, not just me, not just for him but for some reason tonight, this moment was a new beginning for both of us.
Mycroft continued with his words breaking the both of us down without our masks and every armour physical and mentally.
"Then you came in my life, and for the first time I understood the concept of sunlight breaking through the clouds after a storm that lasted years, I would have bad day and instead of worrying and pulling away into the darkness you would hold me, and talk to me and make me forget about the world. I would come home and for the first time I wouldn't be sitting alone in the kitchen having a small dinner in the expensive kitchen with the best brands and still be alone now…my best dinner is anything edible as long as it is with your, no matter if it is in front of the telly, at the kitchen table, restaurant or fruit and whip cream in our bed."
That was a good day…or night actually.
By the time he was done we were both naked, it was more than metaphorical, he always know what to do, by being naked he proved that it wasn't our clothes, our financial status or anything material that made us who we are, and that we meant to be together, when it came down to it, it was us, just us, nothing else mattered. Me and him. He slowly turned me around so he could watch each other without a mirror. I looked up into his blue eyes, stormy and dark and flooding with emotions just like mine.
"I was worried when you refused to come home, I was scared for you."
"I'm sorry, I never meant for you to be impacted by my doubts."
"I love you Gregory."
"I love you too."
We stared at one another for a while before he pulled me in for a deep kiss. It was just like the first one, perfect and magnificent. I pulled him closer our bodies melting together like were meant to be, and I realised we are.