Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and all its characters. But I do own a little Hinata keychain I bought sometime ago, and it's really cute.
xxx I'm Still Here xxx
A Nejihina Songfic
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I am a question to the world
It burns.
That was the one thing that kept going through Neji's mind as he lay in bed.
It burns.
Not an answer to be heard
Earlier that week, he and another Hyuuga had to retrieve a valuable scroll. Several nins from Kumogakure ambushed them and bore it away. The Main House pinned all the blame on Neji. In truth, the other Hyuuga had insisted on carrying the scroll, and it was from him that the scroll was stolen. Neji tried all he could to get the scroll back, but it was no use. He was outnumbered, one to seven, especially with his partner standing to the side, trying his best to keep out of the fight. Of course, this other Hyuuga was a Main member, so Neji took all the heat.
An enraged Hiashi Hyuuga activated the Caged Bird seal, and for a few agonizing moments that seemed like hours to Neji, the searing pain shot through his whole being.
Until now, it burns.
Or a moment that's held in your arms
The door to his bedroom quietly slid open and in came his cousin, Hinata.
And what do you think you'd ever say?
She perched herself on the edge of the bed. She was probably out to talk to him about the failed mission.
I won't listen anyway
"Niikun?" she called. Neji pretended to have heard nothing.
You don't know me
Though Hinata wasn't really like the rest of the Main family, he had to be on guard. The Main house was the Main house, after all.
And I'll never be what you want me to be
Those people… Kami! They asked too much of him! He was human, no more no less, and deserved to be treated as such.
And what do you think you'd understand?
"Niikun," Hinata repeated softly.
"What?" Neji shot back, trying to sound as irritated as possible.
The mere softness of his cousin's voice went a long way towards melting his defenses.
I'm a boy, no, I'm a man
Neji wasn't in the mood for any heart-to-heart conversations.
He was already disgruntled as it was.
You can't take me and throw me away
He was tired of being treated like a tool.
And how can you learn what's never shown?
And at the moment, Neji would rather be alone.
He always kept to himself because it was easier that way. Letting others come close would be tantamount to opening himself up to hurt and betrayal.
He didn't dare show the real him.
Yeah, you stand here on your own
Yet here she was…
They don't know me
Trying to see…
Cause I'm not here
What's not there.
And I want a moment to be real
Hinata simply sat there wordlessly, and Neji could feel her clear, honest eyes on him. Waiting. Always waiting.
Wanna touch things I don't feel
It was during those times that he somehow wanted to drop his façade and show her the real Neji.
He wanted to reach out to her…
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
'Cause somehow, he's got the feeling that there, he'd be safe.
And how can the world want me to change?
But that was impossible. The Main house laid down the rules on him. He had to be exactly what they told him to be.
They're the ones that stay the same
And Neji knew that having Hinata was out of the question.
They don't know me
Main house was for Main house: Branch house, for Branch house. That was how things went.
Cause I'm not here
But then, lately, Neji found himself simply not caring anymore. He was just sick of it all
And you see the things they never see
."Niikun," Hinata called once more, and this time, Neji sat up and turned to look at her. What he saw in her pale eyes froze him in place. There was sincerity, compassion, understanding… and something else he couldn't bring himself to define.
All you wanted I could be
"I j-just wanted you t-to know that y-you're everything I've always w-wanted to be," she stated, a blush spreading across her smooth porcelain skin.
Now you know me and I'm not afraid
"And I th-think you're… you're… p-perfect, just as you are!"
Hinata's face was then the color of freshly-picked tomatoes, and her moonlike orbs glistened with tears of embarrassment.
Neji's eyes widened.
And I want to tell you who I am
"I…" he began, but the words got stuck in his throat, and he couldn't choke them out.
Can you help me be a man?
But then, Neji got the shock of his life when his cousin suddenly threw herself at him, and they both fell back onto the mattress, Hinata on top of him.
They can't break me
Slowly, he brought his arms around her.
As long as I know who I am
And at that moment, all Neji's apprehensions were washed away, and he felt whole.
And I want a moment to be real
"Hinata," Neji whispered, and he heard awe lace his voice.
Wanna touch things I don't feel
His arms tightened around her, and he noted her softness, her warmth, her sweet, gentle scent. Her hair spilled over his arms and chest like the cascade of a lavender-scented waterfall.
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
Kami, he didn't want to ever let go!
And how can the world want me to change?
"D-don't listen to th-them," Hinata was saying, her voice puffing against Neji's collarbone.
They're the ones that stay the same
"They d-don't know what they're s-saying. They are b-blinded by prejudice."
They can't see me
"Th-they judge others without t-truly knowing."
But I'm still here
"B-but you… you know wh-who you are, r-right niikun?"
Hinata looked up at him, and his chest tightened at all the little things he saw in her eyes –eyes that were so similar to, yet so different from his.
They can't tell me who to be
"Yes…" Neji breathed out. His hime was right.
Cause I'm not what they see
"They don't see, do they?" he murmured.
Yeah, the world is still sleepin' while I keep on dreamin' for me
Hinata shook her head and laid it back on Neji's chest. Out of its own volition, his hand started stroking her long violet tresses.
And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe
Slowly, the scathing words of the Main family elders faded from his mind, as did the pain from the activation of the curse seal jutsu.
And I want a moment to be real
The burn was no more.
Wanna touch things I don't feel
Neji's hand crept to Hinata's face and tilted it upwards.
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
He read the question in his hime's oplaescent eyes, so he answered with a smile.
And how can they say I'll never change?
Her eyes widened as he brought his face inexorably closer to hers…
They're the ones that stay the same
And laid claim to her heretofore unclaimed lips.
I'm the one now 'cause I'm still here
When Neji drew back, Hinata's face was flushed, and in her wide eyes were neither rejection nor regret.
I'm the one now
Her hand reached up to brush a stray lock of his long brown hair from his forehead, fingers grazing against the curse mark lovingly.
Cause I'm still here
"Always?" Hinata asked, and Neji immediately knew what she meant by her question.
I'm still here
"Always," he answered, bestowing upon her a smile with the heat of a thousand blazing stars.
I'm still here
With an elated smile of her own, Hinata contentedly snuggled more deeply into her cousin's arms.
I'm still here
And they fell asleep that way.
xxx OWARI xxx
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Author's Notes:
Yay! Finally done!
This is my response to psychotic kitsune's request for a Nejihina. I made it a songfic, though, 'cause I thought the song I'm Still Here by John Rzeznik really goes well with the whole Neji/Hinata situation thing.
Anyway, reviews are highly appreciated.
Several thanks to all who reviewed my previous works. Once again, you have hearts of gold!
Domo arigatou gozaimasu!
Some terms that might be helpful:
Kumogakure (Kumogakure no Sato) –the hidden village of the Land of Lightning
Niikun –a form of address for one's big brother; "nii" is shortened "onii" as in "oniisan" (big brother), while "kun" is a suffix used to address a boy of a close relation to, or is about the same age as the addresser
Kami –the Japanese word for the spirits within objects in the Shinto faith
"Caged Bird" seal:
This seal is given by members of the main house to all branch house members in the Hyuga clan. Its main purpose is to seal their Byakugan ability should they die, preventing an enemy from learning the secrets of the Byakugan. Its secondary purpose is to control the branch house, since the curse seal jutsu can be activated at will by a main house member with a hand seal that only they know about, to destroy the wearer's brain cells.