"I want to go with you," I pleaded.
"Hayley, we've had this conversation before," my father answered. "You have to stay at home, I'll call you, okay?," he promised, to which I sighed.
"But ..." I tried to speak.
"Hayley, sweetie, your father is right," my mother said.
"Mom, please, I want to go," I repeated.
"Sweetie, it's the best thing for you, being in a hospital waiting is very boring and you can catch many diseases." She looked at me. "I don't want you to get ill." She grabbed my face to look at her.
"I love you." I hugged her.
"I love you too, sweetie," she said, hugging me. "We'll talk later, okay?" She said as she pulled away from me.
I nodded slightly before saying goodbye to my father.
"Call Molly if you need anything," he said.
"I will," I said.
Both left home leaving me alone. I turned on the television, because having noise helped me to be much calmer.
I did not get any kind of news about them getting me worried enough, so I left several voice messages to my father, but I did not get any information, so I lie on the couch with the phone still in hand, waiting for a call.
I was surprised they had not called all day, so I contemplated the idea of calling Molly, but I did not, because despite knowing that my sister would come, I did not want to disturb her.
I heard the door of the street open, getting me up and running to it, surprised me to see my sister on the other side, noting that something was happening.
"Molly ..." I whispered as she entered the house.
"Hayley, come here," she said, reaching for the couch. "Let's see how I can tell you this," she sighed. "Hayley, this ... in operations there are complications many times and ...
"Do you know anything about them?" I asked, interrupting her.
"Um ... yes," she replied. "There are things that happen and you don't know why, this is one of them. There has been a complication in the operation and they have not been able to do anything" she looked at me. "Hayley, mom is dead," she finally whispered.
"What?" I asked trying to assimilate it. "Is that a joke?"
"No, honey, I wish I didn't have to tell you this," she said as I began to cry.
Molly hugged me, but I got rid of her embrace and then ran to my room, sitting on the bed, leaning on the place where the walls came together in a corner, bringing my knees to my chest. Still crying still trying to assimilate what had happened.
"Hayley," she called, entering the room.
She sat down beside me, hugging me against her, resting my head on her shoulder and stroking my hair.
"And Lexie?" I asked between sobs.
"She knows, she takes the plane in the morning," she replied. "I have to go home for a moment, can you stay alone?"
I nodded slightly before pulling away from her. She gave me a kiss on the forehead before leaving, when the house was silent again, only my sobs could be heard.
I heard the door open again, causing me to get up and run to it. My father came in drunk making my tears open again, for it was not the first time I had seen him like this, but I always had someone to support me. But tonight I was alone.
He threw himself on the couch without even looking at me, so I ran back to my room in the hope that my sister would arrive soon, but no matter how many minutes passed, she did not arrive. Tired of waiting I got up to head for the kitchen, with no apparent intention. I watched the edge of one of the knives on the counter before picking it up, caressing it with my finger, and then bringing it to my right wrist, clutching the knife with little determination of what I was going to do. I made the cut quickly, trying not to scream because of the pain. I thought about doing it on the other wrist, but I stopped when I realized the amount of blood that came from the wound, making me dizzy, so I sat on the floor grabbing my wrist while I started to cry again.
"Hayley?" Asked a voice I had difficulty identifying. "What have you done?"
I looked at Molly without answering, trying to keep myself conscious, watching as she crouched down beside me to see what I had done. She pressed a cloth to the cut, trying to stop the bleeding before helping me up and getting in the car to drive us to the hospital.
"Why, Hayley? Why did you do it? "Molly asked angrily.
"I don't know," I replied with a shrug.
"Seriously, after what has happened I don't want to lose you too," she looked at me. "And wait for Lexie to find out."
"No, please, don't say anything," I pleaded. "I'll tell her when I'm ready."
"Okay," she sighed. "Now lie down for a while."
"No," I denied.
"Hayley, please, you need to sleep and much more after the amount of blood you've lost," she commented.
"I can not sleep," I said, starting to cry again.
Molly hugged me to take me to my room, forcing me to lie down on the bed, leaning against me.
The first rays of sunlight made their way when my sister insisted again that I should fall asleep, stroking my hair and getting my eyes closed, falling asleep.
I woke up to notice someone stroking my hair, opening my eyes to meet Lexie.
"Hey, you gotta get ready," she whispered.
I looked at her before getting up to hug her, getting her to hug me back, stroking my hair.
"Get ready," she said before leaving.
I prepared quickly to the amazement of my sisters. We got into the car on the way to the cemetery, during which time Lexie hugged me against her, trying to look much stronger than she was.
"What's she doing here?" Molly asked. "She shouldn't be here."
"Let's go talk to her," my father said, as I looked out the window and saw that it was Meredith's.
"It's not fair ..." I complain. "She has every right to be here."
"Hayley, this isn't the time for you to reply," my father replied. "Stay in the car."
Both got out of the car leaving us alone in the car, while they talked with Meredith.
"Who is she?" Lexie asked.
"Meredith," I replied.
"Is she here?" He asked again.
"Yes, Mom had a very good relationship with her," I replied, noticing the urge to cry again.
I cried, I cried during the whole ceremony embraced to my sister refusing to accept it.
When we got home I realized that my father had not come back with us, however, I refrained from asking, giving me an idea of where he was.
"Hayley, we have to talk, "Lexie said taking me to the living room." I know what I'm going to tell you, it's not going to be too funny." She sighed." When I start working at the hospital you're going to have to go home with Molly."
"But you still live here?" I asked.
"Yes, but we have to think the best for you," she replied.
"I don't want to," I whisper.
"Hayley, I don't know how much time I will spend at home," she said. "Please don't make this worst than it is."
"I want to stay home with you," I argued again.
"Hayley, I know you're more attached to Lexie, but believe us that this is the best for you," Molly tried to convince me. "You can spend time with Lexie, as long as she can."
I looked at Lexie trying to verify that that was true, who nodded before speaking.
"When I get a stable place, you'll come and live with me," she said. "I promise, Hayley."