A Thousand Words
Disclaimer: I still don't own it, and they're way more evil than me
AN: This is something wrote well over year ago, a concept that was playing with set somewhere around mid to late season five. I was reminded of it today, because Limelight airs this evening, and while there may or may not be some similarities in the premise potentially, no spoilers were used in the creation of the story. Let's call it a late season 5 AU insert, shall we? Somewhere after Still, but pre-engagement. Inspired by fan art created by Tammy van Coccinella, for which I take absolutely no credit. I thank her For her permission to write this story, though I asked for it so long ago I only hope she remembers.
CB, I think you once told me this is your favorite story I'd ever done. I'm sorry it took me forever to post it!
The New York Ledger's Evening Extra arrived while Kate was out at dinner having a girls' night with Lanie. Castle didn't think he had ever been so glad that she had taken a night away in the entire time they had been together.
Not that he was paranoid about their relationship, he wasn't. But still, they hadn't really talked about this. Not yet. And the picture that made the Ledger's Extra on this particular night was more personal than the type he was used to getting thrown up in the tabloids had been for some time.
Not that there was anything wrong with the photograph, or its contents. If he was honest, the picture quite lovely. Still, it was more private in a way than even a more physical pose might not have been. And, because they hadn't talked about it, he wasn't sure at all how Kate was going to take this. He was used to having his life splashed all over Page Six - hell sometimes even the front page if the story was right. It helped sell books, and kept him interesting to the readers. Normally he didn't mind. But this was Kate, and she was a private person.
Nearly the entire time that she was out, Castle paced the loft, trying to think of a way to explain it to her; trying to think of a way to soften it so that it wouldn't turn into a fight.
He didn't know whether to expect a fight or not, really. After all, she had been less than thrilled the few times their names were linked in the paper before. But that was before they were together. When she had merely been his partner, and not his girlfriend. The trouble was, he wasn't entirely sure if the fact of there being together would make the situation better or worse.
For what felt like the hundredth time this evening, he turned his attention back to the full-color photograph that seemed to glare up with him from the page. The truth was, he liked it. He briefly considered tracking down the photographer in the credit to see if he could get a copy of the original to have it framed. But he couldn't think about anything more along those lines until he knew how Kate was going to react to the picture's existence in the first place. He was still working out his strategy for explaining the situation to her, when he heard her key turn in the lock.
For a moment he allowed his frustration at the situation take a backseat to his the delight at the fact that Kate Beckett now had a key to his loft. The truth was if anyone had told him a year ago they would be where they were today, he still wasn't entirely sure if he would've believed them. But they were here, and it was good.
He didn't want to ruin that now with something as simple as a picture. It couldn't be that easy could it? He knew that Kate liked her privacy, but surely she would understand that sometimes these things happened. They would just have to be more careful in the future about making sure they didn't put themselves in a position to be unintentionally photographed.
When Kate slipped through the door of the loft, Castle found himself once again momentarily distracted. It wasn't that she was dressed in any particularly stunning way, but there is something about the way she looked that struck him again with how beautiful she was. It was like that, he knew, it snuck up on him at the most unexpected times. He loved that.
In thinking about it, he knew that that was exactly what happened when that picture was taken. Now if only he could think of a way to explain that to her that didn't make matters worse.
"Hey," she said as she tossed her keys carelessly onto the kitchen island. Then she turned to him, looking slightly concerned. "Castle, you okay?"
He tried his best to smile, he knew that she was worried, and probably about something much bigger than this actually was. At least, something bigger than he hoped this was. "I'm fine, and I'm glad you're here," he said honestly. "There's just something I want to talk to about, that's all."
She eyed him and carefully, still concerned from the look of things. "Okay," she said as she stepped slowly into the living room. "You're not getting anymore strange calls are you?"
Shit. That was the last thing he wanted her to be worried about. "Oh, no. No, that isn't it at all. I'm sorry, I'm sorry if I worried you," he said as he closed the distance between them wrapping his arms around her in apology.
She pulled back from him after a few moments, and Castle was relieved to see the slight smile on her face. "Okay, so no shadowy figures or random bad guys knocking down the door today. Good, now that we've settled that would you please tell me why you look like you've seen the end of the world?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Probably because I'm overreacting," he said finally. "I just, I want you to know I'm sorry about this. And I'll make sure that nothing like this happens again if I possibly can. But, it's going to happen at some point I'm sure. I just wasn't expecting it now, and I know you weren't either, and I'm sorry."
"Castle, one on earth are you –" she stopped abruptly as he pulled the slim newspaper section off the coffee table and placed it into her hands.
Kate shook her head in confusion as she felt the sheet of paper make contact with her outstretched palm. What on earth was he going on about now? She knew that Rick had a tendency to be a bit dramatic, something she suspected had a good deal to do with growing up the son of an actress, but this seemed a little more out of place than usual. He was nervous, and concerned.
She looked down at what he had all but thrust at her, and was hit by a sudden jolt of shock. Oh. Oh. This explained it. This explained it nicely. "We," she sucked in an uneasy breath, "we made the paper."
This wasn't exactly a typical page Six blurb, either. The evening extra was generally dedicated to smaller more gossipy stories to begin with. And in what must surely, Kate suspected, be a sign of a slow news day, she and the writer had managed to warrant both the front of the section story, and a full-column photo. Though, by the looks of things the photo itself was more or less the story.
At least, it was the picture that had caught Katie's attention. It was a good picture, really. And it served it's purpose for her, in recalling exactly what happened her the day, even the moment that it was taken.
"Castle I swear if you think you're going to get away with that kind of absolutely ridiculous -" Kate was leaning forward across the span of the small coffee shop table toward him. By the smirk on her partner's face, he knew very well how ridiculous he was being. But, as usual that wasn't going to stop him. "You're ridiculous, you know that don't you?" She said with a half smile. "you like getting under my skin, but not today Castle, it's not going to work this time."
He grinned back at her and leaned in just a little himself. "You don't think so? Because looking at you, Kate, I think I already have."
"Oh you think so do you?" she had meant to scoff, she really had, but for some reason she couldn't keep smile off her face today.
"I do actually," but suddenly, Castle's words seemed to lack the playful bite that they had held only a moment ago. The look in his eyes changed too, no longer laced with that familiar playfulness, but softened to something that had only recently become familiar to her. She had only a moment to think before he leaned in and brought his hand to the side of her face, burying his fingers in her hair. But then, she surprised even herself as she leaned forward slightly to meet his kiss.
There was nothing overly passionate about it, nothing particularly inappropriate for the public setting. Yet, something in that moment made her feel as cherished as she ever had. Maybe it was the simplicity of it, the ease with which he did it. The unapologetic way that he chose to display his affection in public. Whatever it was, it caused a sudden, powerful change as far as Kate was concerned. When she pulled back to look at him, that was the moment that Kate Beckett knew. This was it, she was done. No more questions, no more doubts, no more looking.
Of all the moments for a photographer to snap, there was something a bit ironic that they would've chosen this one, she thought. She considered telling him that, but wasn't particularly in the mood for this to devolve into one of his conversations on the finer points of irony.
The fact of the matter was there were a lot less personal moments of photographer could've chosen. But there probably weren't any better ones. It should feel invasive, she knew. After all, she wasn't one to like having her personal life made public, usually not even to those she considered friends. And yet, there was at least some part of her that was glad to have this particular moment frozen in time. Something to immortalize the enormity of it all, even if she was the only one knew it. Maybe she shouldn't be. She should tell him.
"Castle -" she began. That was as far as she got before he cut her off in a nervous rush.
"I know Kate, I know. And before you say anything I just want you to know that I'm going to get in touch with Paula, and anyone else I need to, to make sure that nothing like this happens again without our knowing it. As much as we can anyway, but –"
"Castle," she tried again, her voice soft and somewhat amused.
"It's probably my fault, I never should've chosen a seat by the window. I know better, I mean it doesn't happen all the time; honestly it hasn't happened in a long time. But my profile has been pretty low lately, mostly because we've been busy and I haven't been –"
"Rick," she tried hoping that the change to his first name would get his attention.
"– out as much, and they missed all of that mess with - well after Vegas, when we weren't exactly...I don't know how they missed that, but they did, and of all the things to bother you with I –"
"RICHARD CASTLE!" Now Kate all but stomped her foot on the ground. This was getting ridiculous.
He froze mid-sentence and stared over at her, a little wide-eyed. "Jeez Kate, both names? That's hardly fair."
"Yes, and you were kind enough to give me a full five to choose from. And I'm plenty tempted to work my way through all of them if you don't shut up for a minute and let me talk, Castle."
She watched for a minute as he worked his mouth silently, as if trying to come up with a rebuttal, but afraid to voice it. Then he shrugged slightly. "Okay, sorry. Go ahead."
The look of dejection on his face nearly broke her heart. Did he really expect her to be that upset with him? She thought for a moment. Of course he had. When had she come in he had been nervous, nearly terrified.
"It's okay, Rick. I'm not mad," she said softly. She sent the paper down on the coffee table again, and stepped around it to sit down on the couch, reaching out to pull him down with her.
"You aren't?" he asked, his voice quiet and a little uncertain.
She shook her head slowly. "No, I'm not."
"It's a beautiful picture, don't you think?" she asked.
He blinked at her, surprised. She wished that he wasn't, but she knew why he was. "Yeah, actually," he said. "I love it, except for the fact that it exists courtesy of The Ledger."
"Exactly. I can't lie to you here, I'm not thrilled with the idea of living our lives on the pages of a newspaper, but, if that's what our life together is, then that is what it is. I understand that it's a part of your life, and if I'm going to be part of that, then that's the way it is."
He still looked a little too thunderstruck for her taste, so she continued. "You don't have to be so surprised, you know. We said partners, right? You do know that doesn't just extend on your side? In all these years of working together, you've never asked me to be anyone other than who I am. How can I be your partner, much less anything else, if I'm not willing to say the same?"
It was finally starting to register with him, she realized. Still, she waited to voice response before continuing. "You know," he said slowly, "I shouldn't have expected any less from you, and if it seems like I did, I'm sorry. I just know how private you are, Kate. And I've tried not to get in the way of that. And, I know that we haven't exactly been telling anybody outside of our friends and family, but this is going to put it out there. People are going to know, and it's probably going to create more of a stir. I know you're going to hate it, and I hate having to be the one who puts you thought it."
She reached up to push back a stray lock of his hair. "Okay, first of all I certainly wouldn't want to go through this for anyone else. But for you, I'm good, okay? And second of all –"
She reached down and picked up the paper again so that she could show him the photograph. "Do you see this? Do you see what it says? You know what people are going to see in that picture?"
She watched as his eyes drifted down to take it in. "Want to know what I see, Castle?" His mouth moved, but no sound came out, so she continued, "I love you, Rick. And I'm happy. We're happy. It's not staged, it's not an event, it's not an announcement, it's real. That's what I see. And if the New York Ledger wants to show that to the world, let them. Let them all see."