No one is going to like this. That being said, and at the risk of TMI, this needs a little background. There are, at least for me, some dreams that include individuals from my past and contain such a high level of emotion, they just will not fade from memory. Dreams that when I wake I just want to go back to sleep so that I can reenter that world and continue my interactions. Memories of those dreams seem just as real as events that did happen. This is based on one such dream, uses canon as a starting point, and a little bit of real life, so it is very AU. Please take it as such.

Skins may not be mine, but the grammatical and spelling errors are.

Emily

I could just about kill Katie at this moment, and they might even let me off with just a warning. This had been a total cluster from the start. Work had sent me to Bristol to meet with a customer. Do you know how long it takes to get from Edinburgh to Bristol by train? To long! And when Katie heard I would be in town for the night she insisted I stay with her. That was fine, I did miss my sister. But I made her promise no night on the town, no meet-ups with old friends. I had moved on, I didn't need to relive anything.

So the meeting was a complete waist of time and money. Six talking points, I counted them at least a dozen times during the "meeting", all parties were in complete agreement about everything, and not one misunderstanding. Has anyone ever heard of Skype? I guess not, because there I stood 20 minutes after saying hello, shaking hands goodbye and being shown the door.

By the time I got back to Katie's it was too late to make connections and get home without it becoming a 12 hour trip. And having gotten up at a stupid hour and having already spent 6 and half hours on a train, that was not happening; I was stuck until the next day. I flopped down in her lounge and went through her extensive collection of fashion magazines while waiting for her to get home. At some point I grew tired of all the pretty pictures and just daydreamed about Sarah. In the five years we had been married this was only the second or third time we had spent the night apart.

We had met in uni, and become friends. I think each knew the other was gay, but we didn't talk about that at first. We identified with each other and could talk about all the stupid things associated with higher education. Relationships were never really discussed until the day Katie called to tell me Naomi was getting married. To explain the mood I was in it was necessary to talk about my past and my preferences. There was something about Sarah that made me truthful and upfront with her. And she reacted in kind, describing her first girlfriend. A bottle of wine was opened as the histories were shared. A toast was made to Naomi's happiness which lead to a toast to our future happiness. And one bottle lead to another, which at some point lead to a kiss.

My reminiscing was interrupted by my sister's return. "How was your meeting?"

"A total waist of time and money."

"That bad? Did you lose the customer?"

"No, the opposite. No problems found, no solutions needed. It took more time to introduce everyone then talk about the project. We could have had a phone call and saved a trip. And now I am stuck in Bristol for the night." The last came out as more of a pout then I intended it to.

"Well, glad to see you too," the sarcasm in her voice put me in my place.

"Sorry, Katie. I am glad I got to see you."

"That's better. Now come on, lets be going."

"Wait a minute, you promised no night on the town, no meet-ups."

"Its not. I scored an invite to house party a band is hosting. All you have to do is drink a pint, or some wine, listen to some music and enjoy an evening with your sister."

She continued on until I gave in. And that was how I fond myself alone at some house on the other side of the city. Katie had hung with me until each of us had a drink, the music had started and she spotted the bloke who had passed her the invite. Being ditched by my sister at a party where I didn't know anyone was not how I wanted to spend my evening. Not that it was the first time it had happened. At least the band was good, Stars on 45 or Scars on 45, something like that. The singer was very cute, but I don't think she was into girls and I am married anyway.

The band had a stage of sorts setup in the garden, I am sure the neighbors were thrilled. When they took a break I made my way inside to refresh my wine and with any luck spot my sister. I found a likely looking vintage and was in the process of poring a glass when I looked up and towards the front door.

Her hair was no longer blonde, it was brown, and she wore it a little longer now, but even from across the house I knew it was her. It was almost like that first day of collage all over again, the excitement mixed with nervousness. Only this time there was a little bit of fear added to the mix. Unlike that day in collage I did not stare. Keeping the bottle and the glass I bolted out the back door and into the garden hoping I had not been seen.

I found a place to sit and finished half the glass of wine in one drink, refilled it and did considerable damage to that pour. It had been several years since I had last seen Naomi. We had each been "settled" in our lives at that point so it had been a friendly get together. It was not that I feared seeing her, it was just that I was tired, mad at Katie and missing Sarah. Small talk with my ex, my first ex, was not on the to do list.

I tried to work through my feeling and memories and identify what was causing the anxiety. She had been my first girlfriend, and I had had huge crush on her; at the time I really did love her, and I put everything on the line to prove it to both of us. I outed myself to my family, friends and the whole school. I risked my relationship with my twin sister for the chance to be with her. We got to that point we could be a couple, in both our own eyes and those around us. We loved each other and loved each other, but we didn't really become friends.

I went on holiday with my family and when I got back it was over. She claimed they had not had sex, just flirting, a kiss or two and a lot of time together. In a way, that she was honest meant a lot to me. So several months later when Sophia went off the deep end, got high and ended up killing herself I helped Naomi through it, as a friend. We built that friendship that had been missing before, but neither was ready to try and rebuild what was lost.

We each ended up in different cities, at different universities. We would still check up on the other from time to time but it might be months between conversations. Sarah and I attended Naomi and Ellen's wedding and when we got married they came to ours.

I looked down to find both my glass and the bottle empty, and had just started to try and come up with a remedy to that problem when her voice brought my world to a halt.

"Em?"

For some reason I almost feared looking up into those eyes, but I did it anyway. "Hello Naomi"

"It is you. At first I thought it was Katie, but something looked different. How are you?"

She sat down next to me and we engaged in that small talk I had been wanting to avoid, consisting mostly of events and names that meant nothing to the other. After a short while the conversation ran down and we sat in silence for a time just feeling the others presence. And then she turned and spoke so softly it was almost a whisper, "I want to stay here with you."

Those seven words caused my heart to skip a beat. They were not spoken as a request or an invitation. Seven simple words, yet we both understood the meaning behind them. She was not talking about sitting in some stranger's garden waiting for a band to play. Or sneaking off behind the shed to break our vows. It was that quiet moment when we were almost a couple again. A moment we had given up on all those years ago. She was not voicing a desire, it was a regret.

I looked into those blue eyes, "Are you happy?"

I could tell in her face she knew I meant her and Ellen. "Yes. Are you?"

In a way it hurt to respond, "Yes."

There was a little pain behind the smile she gave me as she stood. "Goodnight Emily. Take care of Sarah, she is a very lucky woman." She turned and walked away before I could respond.

I sat there stunned for a moment and then stood and walked towards the house. Part of me hoped to find her, to say something to her, but for the life of me I had no idea what I would or even could say. Failing to find her or Katie I snagged a full bottle of red and called a cab as I exited the front door. As I waited for the car I replayed the evening trying to decide if it had been a dream. Had Naomi even been there and did she really say those seven little words. I had almost convinced myself it had been the wine when the cab pulled up. As the car pulled away I looked back at the house to see Naomi hand in hand with Ellen exiting the front door.

One shot, this is where I leave it. I chose Sarah and Ellen to protect the characters and their relationships from the baggage connected to Mandy and Sophia. They didn't steel them away or come between our two. They made them who they became.

Please review, even if you didn't like it let me know.