This is a song-fic with two songs. One, a parody of Frozen's 'Do You Wanna Build A Snowman', and two, Avril Lavringes 'Slipped Away'. Yes, Megan. I wrote this to make you cry.
Warnings: Self-harm, Suicide
Disclaimer: I own nothing
"You're such a meanie Leo!"
Five-year-old Raphael screamed at his elder brother. Leonardo had taken his toy truck from him.
"Give it back!"
"No!"
His favorite word. Splinter walked into the room. Both children instantly fell silent. Leonardo hid the toy behind his back and pointed at Raphael.
"It's his fault daddy!"
Raphael's eyes filled with angry tears.
"Why are you so mean!?"
He turned and ran towards his room, slamming the door behind him. Splinter shot him an angry glare and Leo guiltily dropped the red truck on the ground.
"Go and apologize, Leonardo."
Skulking, Leo dragged his feet to the wooden door and knocked.
"Raphie? I'm sorry I took your truck…"
"Go away!"
Leo hastily obeyed, glaring over his shoulder.
-1 week later-
Leonardo shook his head as maple syrup dripped down Mikey's chin. He grabbed an old rag off of the chair and handed it to his youngest brother. The sound of a door closing caught his attention and he sighed. Raphael had been locking himself in his room far too much. He almost never came out. Leo walked over to the door and knocked.
"Raphie?
Do you wanna train ninjutsu?
Come on let's go and play!
I never see you anymore,
Come out the door,
It's like you've gone away!
We never were best buddies,
But let's fix that,
And then you can tell me why!
Do you wanna train ninjutsu?
It doesn't have to be ninjutsu!"
"Go away Leo!"
Leo sighed softly before finishing his song.
"Okay, bye..."
-8 years later-
Thirteen-year-old Leonardo watched as Raphael performed his katas flawlessly, his red bandana tails flapping in the wind his flying limbs created. But he knew that as soon as the lesson was over, His red-banded brother would retreat into his bedroom once again. What did he do in there? Did he just lay in his hammock, staring at the ceiling? Did he read? Did he draw? Write? The lesson was over. Leo sighed in relief. Maybe he could find out now. He and his two youngest brothers immediately stripped themselves of their gear for the rest of their daily activities. Raphael took all but his wrist supports off, his hollow green gaze shining out of his blood red mask. He headed toward the bathroom. Leo watched curiously before sighing and shaking his head. After ten minutes, Raph came back out and Leo, finally, was able to relieve himself. As he was washing up, he noticed a spot of red on the counter. Blood? Why was there blood in here. Leo cleaned it up and went to Raphael's room to ask about it. He knocked softly.
"Raph?
Do you wanna train ninjutsu?
Or go out for a run?
You've been acting very strange lately,
And I want to know,
What I can do to help!
It gets a little lonely,
Being the oldest,
I sure could use your help!"
He received no answer, just hurried scuffling on the other side. Leo frowned and knocked again.
"Raph? I'm coming in, okay?"
He would never forget the sight that greeted him.
-4 years later-
Leo stared sadly at the photo on his wall. He and Raphael, sparring. The look of intensity on his brothers face was one which he would never forget. He was seventeen now, but he still remembered the day four years ago when he discovered that his younger brother was self-harming. It had only gotten worse from there. He started cutting deeper, longer, and more often. Leo didn't know how he could help. With a small sigh, Leo stood and walked across the hall.
"Raph?
Please I know you're in there…
I've been wondering how you've been…
They all say that you will be fine,
Just give you time,
Why won't you let me in…?
No one else knows your secret,
They just know you're sad,
What're we gonna do?
Do you wanna train ninjutsu?"
Silence. Tears trickled down Leo's cheeks as he cried softly. He wanted to help, he did. But he couldn't if Raph didn't want help. A sense of foreboding filled Leos chest as the eerie silence lasted. He lifted his hand to the knob.
"Raph?
Hesitantly, he turned it and opened the door. He screamed.
"Raph!"
His brothers pale, motionless body lay in his hammock. Leo jumped towards him, seeing the long, deep wounds in his wrist.
"Nonononono! You can't be dead! Please don't be-!"
Raphael was cold.
"MIKEY! DONNIE! SPLINTER! ANYBODY!"
Too late, he remembered that his brothers had gone out for a special training exercise with sensei. Desperately, he picked his brother up and, staggering under the weight, ran to the lab. He put him down on the table and ran around the room, not caring about the chemicals wasted, experiments ruined, and inventions broken. He had to save his brother.
TMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNTMNT
Donatello walked through the sewers toward home, listening to his father's critique.
"Donatello, you nearly outpaced your brother, yet still, you hold back. Why is that?"
They reached the entrance.
"Well, Sensei, I-"
He was interrupted by a green figure speeding toward him. The figure crashed into Master Splinter and Donnie realized that this trembling, sobbing thing was his eldest brother. His eyes were red and swollen, and tears streamed down his face.
"Whoa, dude, what happened?"
Mikey asked unhappily. Leo took a shaky breath.
"He- I couldn't- He's-"
He was unable to go on. Donnie stared in shock. The last time Leo had cried like this had been years ago, after an argument with Raphael. Speaking of which, where was he? Master Splinter peeled his son away from him and walked into the lair.
"Please, show us the reason of your distress, my son."Leo stumbled away from him and, for some unknown reason, headed toward Donnie's lab. Donnie's chest constricted.
"Uh…Leo…? Why are we going to my lab?"
Leo cried harder than ever and wrenched open the door. He ran toward the infirmary corner befor collapsing by the bed, where a familiar figure lay.
"Raph?"
Donnie walked closer to the bed, then ran as he realized how pale his brother was.
"RAPH!"
He stopped by the bed, staring at the heavy bandages on his wrists. His fingers pressed against Raphael's neck, searching for a pulse. He didn't find one.
-1 month later-
Leo sat in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He was thinking about Raph, about how maybe, if he had just told his family, he would still be alive. Tears poured down his cheeks and soaked his pillow. He heard a song from Mikey's room next door and listened.
Nah nah, nah nah nah nah nah
I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooh
Nah nah la la la nah nah
I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't
Ooh
I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooh
I had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake
It happened, you passed by
Now you're gone, now you're gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now you're gone, now you're gone
There you go, there you go,
Somewhere you're not coming back
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same no
The day you slipped away
Was the day that I found it won't be the same ooh
Nah nah, nah nah nah, nah nah
I miss you
He found himself standing outside of Mikey's door, sobbing. He opened it and saw his little brother in the corner, hiding under his blankets, with his dull blue eyes fixed on the floor. Robotically, he walked toward him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders.
"We'll get through this Mikey. Together."
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