Something Corporate
Chapter 1:
It was a foggy October morning in the city of Domino. Marik and Malik had just gotten back from taking money from old ladies on the street. They were now sitting on their living room couch as usual, arguing over the remote. Marik wanted to watch SpongeBob and Malik wanted the Golden Girls.
"Let go of it!" Malik screamed, "It's my turn!"
"No way, you watch that stupid show all the time! Today is a special episode of SpongeBob! He's going camping with Patrick!" Marik tugged harder on the remote control.
Then Malik pulled harder, "So what? Today Blanche finds out that her brother is gay! I want to see it!"
"You and your girly shows, Malik! Why don't you ever do something more manly! Grow a beard and become a mountain man!"
"Oh, please! And SpongeBob is manly? If I hear that incessant giggling anymore, I swear, I'm gonna totally lose it!"
"Grr! No one insults my favorite show! Not even you!" Marik yanked on the channel changer one last time and sent Malik tumbling over the side of the couch and onto the floor.
"Heh." Marik chuckled with satisfaction, "The power of SpongeBob will always prevail, Malik. That's a lesson well learned."
"Yeah, whatever." Malik sat himself back on the couch next to his yami and sulked while watching Marik turn the channels.
He was going pretty fast, with his finger not leaving the channel button. As he was trying to get to the channel he needed, the remote stopped working.
Marik banged it on his hikari's head, "Hey, this isn't working."
"Well, don't hit me with it!" Malik shouted, shielding himself from the remote. "I guess we'll just have to miss SpongeBob. Oh, what a tragedy." He smirked.
"Hmm…" Marik sighed and watched the Fox News channel, which is what channel that the remote stopped on.
They were doing an exposé on Seto Kaiba and the great job that he's doing with his step-father's company, Kaiba Corp.
They showed a picture of Kaiba on the front a magazine called 'Rich Monthly'. They couldn't get him to come into the studio so they just talked about him.
"He sure does work hard for that company," An anchor woman said, "Kaiba Corporation is one of the most popular industries of the century."
"Seto Kaiba is a genius, Jules. I mean, you'd have to be a genius to run a company with such a great reputation." A man addressed the other lady, "He's always inventing things that make gaming more fun. I hear he's coming out with a new product next year."
"Oh, yes. I'm already excited about-" Marik kicked the television set and that interrupted the picture.
"What'd you do that for?" Malik asked, "I was getting into that."
"Please. We see Kaiba on T.V every week. I'm tired of all this attention he gets… it's cramping our style."
"What does his publicity have to do with us, Marik?"
"It has everything to do with us, silly! We're the ones trying to take over the world, right?"
"Right…"
"We're the ones that have to make ourselves known to the masses, right?"
"I suppose."
"We're the ones who should be enriching the lives of those around us!"
"… Eh, ya lost me."
"Work with me here, Malik." Marik stood up and scratched his head, "What if… what if we were to be more popular than Kaiba and his company…?"
"But you can't compare two guys to a international corporation, Marik. We'd pale in comparison. And besides that-"
"Hold on, Malik! I think I just thunk!"
"Is that a word?"
"Who cares?" Marik waved Malik's comment away, "Listen, why don't we do what Kaiba does?"
"You mean boss other people around and act all tough?"
"Huh? No! I mean start a company and make stuff for people to enjoy. That way we'll be just as popular as Kaiba, if not more so."
"Oh, Marik, that's nuts! You heard that man on the news. He said you'd have to be a genius to run a company with such a great reputation."
"He didn't say that… Well, okay, maybe he did say that. But we're geniuses, aren't we? Err… at least I am a genius."
"You are so mean."
"I'm not trying to be mean, Malik," He stifled a laugh, "But let's face it. You're not exactly the brightest bulb in the warehouse. Remember when you baked chicken and put suntan lotion all over it so it wouldn't burn in the oven?"
"Hey! Can't a guy make one mistake in his life?"
"Malik, common sense tells ya that you should just turn the oven down."
"Nobody told me!"
"… Well, I'm just trying to prove my point. And I think I just did. You don't need to be another Albert Einstein in order to make a company better than Kaiba Corp. We just need to focus on what we're doing and we'll be fine."
"Uh, right. So what are we doing again?"
"Ugh." Marik groaned, "Stay right there." he went upstairs and, in a minute, came back down with a little black book in his hand.
"What's that?"
He opened the book and flipped a few pages, "This is Seto Kaiba." he pointed to Kaiba's picture in the book, "And we're going to be better than him. We're going to outdo his company."
"I get that part!" Malik said, agitated, "I just don't know why we have to do this now… we have all our lives to be better than Kaiba. Besides, it's cold and all I want to do is sleep."
"A few minutes ago all you wanted to do was watch Golden Girls."
"B-But-"
"Don't throw your but at me, Malik. There will be plenty of time for sleeping and T.V later. But now is the time for action!"
"Action?"
"Yes, action. We have to pull Kaiba off his high horse and assume our rightful position as the coolest, smartest people on the face of the Earth!" He put his hands on his hips and yelled at his hikari, "Are ya with me, Malik!"
"Do I have a choice?"
"Eh… no, not really."
"… Then I'm with you." Malik curled up into a ball on the couch and began to lightly snore.