When they finally got home, all they wanted to do was collapse.

But first, they had some things to take care of, including themselves. Donnie was the first to make it to the fridge, where Ice Cream Kitty was happy to hand him an ice pack for his fried head. And while Leo bandaged up his arm where a lucky blade caught him on the shoulder, Raph took the world's longest ice bath without a word of complaint because, as he decided, the cold was much better than the heat.

Splinter had disappeared into the dojo– and truthfully, all four brothers were afraid to follow. Another loss of Karai was another loss of their Sensei's hope, and by now it must be wearing thin. But Raphael didn't like to think of their father giving up because it was so alien, so unreal, that it was almost nauseating. So he didn't think; just dried off the excess ice water with a towel and made his way out to the common room.

Mikey was already settled on the couch, the T.V. blaring in front of him. The laboratory lights creeped from underneath the closed doors, most likely holding a brooding Donatello inside, and Leo was nowhere to be found, so Raph figured he didn't have anything better to do. Coming up from behind, the hothead jumped the couch and landed beside his brother, plopping heavily on the cushions.

"What'cha watching?" he asked lazily, watching the channels flicker on and off every other second. Normally it was Donnie who couldn't stay on one channel for more than five minutes before he became bored; but as annoying as it was, Raph never said anything in fear of getting a two hour dictation on how reality T.V. was realistically inaccurate, or how National Geographic covered too basic topics for it to be anything past elementary, or how sports teams were highly overrated, yada yada yada.

But still, Donnie did that. Not Mikey, or even Leo.

Huh. Strange.

Mikey shrugged, giving up on finding something worth his while and dropping the remote like it betrayed him. "I dunno," he mumbled, eyes trained on the old black-and-white movie he unconsciously chose, but he wasn't really watching it. "Anything, really, just to stop."

Raph furrowed his brow as he watched the colorless images fly on the screen, a distant confusion coming over him. Yet truthfully, that feeling was normal when talking to Mikey- at least, it was for him, so he didn't worry too much about it.

"Stop what?"

No response. Raph gave him a few seconds, thinking he probably just got distracted by something and would respond when he suddenly remembered he was being addressed (as per usual). But after a good minute or two of silence ticked by, the hothead's curiosity finally killed the cat. It wasn't until he turned to look at Mikey did he notice what kind of state his little brother was in.

The youngest was picking at the couch with shaky fingers; eyes thoughtful yet completely unfocused at the same time. Even his body seemed rigid, and for someone who was "as fluid as water and just went with the flow" (as said by Mikey himself), it was vaguely supernatural-looking.

"Mike," Raph said, nudging him with his foot. "Hey little brother, what's up?"

Mikey blinked once, twice, then seemed to notice Raph's presence again and swallowed as he shifted uncomfortably.

"I..." He paused, hesitating. Weighing the options, the consequences. Then finally settled for: "... nothing."

Raph rolled his eyes. "You oughta know that doesn't fly in these sewers. So just speak up and make it easier for the both of us."

Mikey shook his head. "It's... It's nothing really important, dude. I promise."

But fifteen years of experience told a different story.

"Mike, stop being an idiot and just tell me," Raph snorted in finality. Crossing his arms, he waited for his much-deserved answer and returned to watching the movie. The plot wasn't half bad, actually. Something about a criminal trying to get his life back together and falling for some pretty human girl along the way. Cheesy, maybe, but at least it's something to focus on other than the whole Karai thing again, right?

"Raph," Mikey said, almost nervously, avoiding eye contact as he waved it off, "I'm fine. Like, seriously, bro. Stop freaking out."

"M' not freaking out. M' getting pissed 'cause you're playing games instead of just explaining."

"I'm not playing games!" Mikey stated. "I'm fine!"

"Wow, you're more of a stubborn imbecile than I thought," Raph laughed darkly, but more out of irritation than humor. "Congratulations; you're almost as bad as me."

Suddenly the weight on the opposite end of the couch disappeared. Raph nearly fell over at the loss of balance, but recovered quickly enough to see the shell of his little brother as he walked away, heading towards the bedrooms with a dark purpose in his stride.

"Hey," Raph yelped, shooting off the couch to chase after him. He caught up just as they reached the youngest's room door and grabbed Mikey's wrist, preventing him from going inside. "Hey, hey, hey," he rushed, confused at the tenseness he could feel in his brother's body. "Mike, m'sorry. I- I didn't mean to get you upset or anything, alright? Just joking around."

With his back still turned and one hand on the doorknob, Mikey said, "It's fine."

"No, it's not, obviously," Raph declared, pulling his wrist with enough force to finally turn Mikey around to face him. The ever-present half smile that usually was on his freckled face was replaced by a frown, but not deep enough to be completely serious.

Thank sewers. A sour Michelangelo was practically beyond repair. But still...

"Hey, if you want to talk, I'm here," Raphael said, bringing his hands up to Mikey's shoulders and giving him a small, reassuring shake. "You know that."

"Yeah, I do, I just-..." Mikey shrugged off his hands sourly. "I just don't want to talk, okay?"

Raph blinked, unsure of what to do, then suddenly nodded unconsciously. He gets it.

"If you're afraid I'm gonna make fun of ya, or go tattling to Splinter or Fearless or Don," he said, slowly, because he needed Mikey to understand this for now and forever, "then you have a whole 'nother thing coming."

Again, there was no response, but this time Raph knew Mikey had heard him through and through. The youngest looked him over for a second, doubt and understanding mixed in his eyes, before he finally gave in.

"Okay, okay, fine," he breathed, dropping his eyes and sighing dramatically. "But you have to promise you won't tell anyone… okay?"

Raph nodded. But apparently that wasn't good enough, because Mikey cocked a brow and look at him questioningly. Sighing, the hothead raised his hand between them and said the one thing his sibling always believed– and he never misused because of it.

"I swear."

Mikey smiled softly, genuinely, then clasped their hands in agreement, and Raph was suddenly reminded why being a big brother was the greatest full-time job. He followed Mikey (without complaint) into the cluttered bedroom and decided to crash on the beanbag while Mikey took up the bed.

Nonetheless, despite their agreement, nothing was said for many long moments. Raph worked his jaw, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Look, if you really don't want to tell me-"

"No!" Mikey exclaimed. "No, I do, and I've been wanting to for a while, I just– I dunno, I haven't been able to talk with everything that's been going on."

That much was true, at least. They'd hardly been able to have a free breathing moment nowadays.

"So...?" Raph drawled, slowly. Patiently.

Mikey swallowed hard, lying back on his shell and studying the ceiling for a few solid moments, before he finally asked,

"Am I the worthless one?"

A pause.

Raph opened his mouth, then closed it, then stopped.

... He isn't serious, is he?

"Like, there's always that one guy," Mikey continued, fiddling with the edge of a blanket. "The one guy in all the movies that the rest of the group doesn't, I don't know... 'value' as much. He's like the- the disposable one, y'know? Is that what I am?"

God, he is serious.

Raphael sat up slowly, hunched as he rested his elbows on his knees, hands folded, and stared at the ground.

"Where did this even come from, Mike?" he asked, because really, this was the last thing he'd expected. And really, he didn't know why a flicker of annoyance flared in his gut because of it.

"Today," Mikey answered surely and confidently, like the words were ready to spring straight off his tongue. "I thought of it today. When we were all in those traps, and I could hear the kind of stuff you dudes had to face, and I-" He stopped, biting the inside of his cheek. "I was just... laying there. Waiting for one of you guys to come save me, again. Just like every other time we're taken by the 'bad guys'."

Raph didn't respond. He didn't know what he would say if he did.

Because it was true.

Mikey was always the bait, always the one with his back against the wall until the other three gave in or came to his rescue. But while in the heat of the moment, they never took the time to thoroughly analyze the situation. One thought and one thought only ran through their minds: get Michelangelo back in one piece. Simple.

Except, they never really bothered to ask what ran through Mikey's mind. Huh.

"Does everyone know I'm the weak link?" Mikey asked, rhetorically, but it sounded more like an accusation. "Is it really that obvious?"

"Hold on," Raph interjected, eyes narrowed as he frowned at his brother. "You think the Foot and the Kraang and all the other crazy people we've had to deal with just happened to all think, 'Oh yeah, that orange one over there isn't as good as the others, we should just take him for the bait'?

Mikey stopped, considered it, then nodded sluggishly. Raph laughed, unamused.

"No. No, that's completely wrong," he said, shaking his head.

Mikey turned to look at him, confused.

"But... if they aren't watching me, who're they watching?"

"All of us. Every. Single. One. Of. Us," Raph argued. "All of our enemies didn't just happen to choose you out of the blue, Mikey. They watched us– saw how we talked to each other, how we acted and fought. They know which one is most effective and which one isn't, trust me."

"But how?"

"Because the ones who're most effective are the ones who the rest of the team care most about."

It was absolutely true, every single word, and Raphael wouldn't have wanted to put it any other way. But it still made him jump when Mikey suddenly leaped up, pacing the floor.

"That's-... That's so stupid!" he declared angrily. "We're all the same, aren't we? We're all brothers, mutants, ninjas? What makes my life so much more valuable?! Just because I'm 'younger' means that no one cares if Leo dies, or Donnie, or-!?"

"That's not what I said at all!" Raph snapped, standing as well. "F'course we'd care if something happened to them, idiot!"

"Then you're totally going back against what you just said, dude!" Mikey all but yelled, stopping his pacing to face his brother head-on. "You just said you'd care the most if something happened to me. What makes me so much more worth saving than everyone else?!"

"I-!"

Raphael broke off with a loss of words, jaw clenched. How could he even begin to explain something like that?

He… didn't even understand it himself.

"I… I can't give you an answer for that," he said, quieter, feeling his infuriated fuel suddenly drain from his body.

Mikey looked to the ground, his breathing heavy. He was thinking deeply, that much was for sure, because Mikey never just stopped. Raph let him have his moment, thinking he just needed to let out some steam before he burnt out, when Mikey suddenly blurted:

"Then you - and D and Leo - need to stop letting them use you."

Raph blinked. "What?"

"You always give in whenever I'm the bait, and that's how we always lose," Mikey said quietly, pained. "The first time, we almost lost Sensei. This time, we lost Karai. I just don't want to keep making everyone fail again and again..."

He trailed off, pained, and something in Raph's chest kicked.

But then the visibly wounded look on his face suddenly disappeared and Mikey looked up, determination melded into his blue eyes, and stated firmly: "You can't give in anymore."

"No."

Silence.

"… No?"

"No," the hothead reiterated just as strongly, arms crossed. "No, I won't stop, and neither will Leo and Donnie. The Foot, the Kraang, all of them: they'll hurt you, Mikey, or worse. They're not making empty threats when they hold you over the side of a tower or put a blade to your neck. They're not like us. They'll do it."

Mikey's throat went dry. "But..."

"And I'll tell you right now," Raph continued stubbornly, taking a step forward, "being captured, or injured, or even losing Karai over and over and over again is better than you being killed because we were stubborn, heartless assholes.

"We– I'll do anything, go through anything, to look after you, Mikey," Raph continued, unwavering, because it was true. "I will for any of my brothers, without a single question asked. I can't tell you exactly why I will, or how it works, or any other psychological crap behind it. But I know I have my reasons, and that's good enough for me."

His words were met with silence. He didn't expect Mikey to respond. He didn't want him to, actually, because Raph hardly opened up like this at all– especially not to the youngest.

But quietly, so quietly that he almost didn't hear it, Mikey looked away and asked, "Are you sure?"

Raphael stepped forward, placing a hand on his baby brother's shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I swear."

Author's Note:

Ahhhh guyssss I'm getting back into the swing of it! A million plot bunnies have just been rushing into my head for the past few weeks, and so while I was working on a chapter for a new short story, I ended up quickly writing this oneshot as well. Sorry if it's crappy :^) I tried my best. All this extra writing is really just a way for me to find motivation for my current multi-chapter stories. I hope you enjoyed this stupid fic in the meantime.

And, just wondering, if I were to write a short story in a post-apocalyptic AU (which includes a helluva lot of bro fluff & dark moments, trust me), would you be interested in that? It'd be my first AU, but I'm pretty positive it'd turn out actually okay-ish. Maybe. Except it wouldn't really include zombies and all that jazz; more about the broken social aspect of the world after it's struck by the disease. And yes, of course there would be heartbreaking drama because what's a story without some?

... Yeah. Anyways. Tell me what you think, on both this oneshot and the possible AU! Thanks for reading!