Forever
Disclaimer: Characters belong to S. M. , the story belongs to Betzacosta, and I'm just the translator.
Bella watched the imposing building in front of her vehicle and her heart wrinkled. She didn't want to be there. Six months had passed since she used to love that place, she worked every day feeling entirely happy doing what she always wanted do and now… she wanted nothing and she didn't want to return to her routine.
"You'll be fine…" Edward whispered and she turned her face to face him in the seat. He looked at her smiling, with his emerald eyes brightest than ever and his grin in his lips that always accompanied him. He was so beautiful… heart´s Bella beat a little stronger. Her lips curved into a smile in respond to his encouraging words.
How could a man like him notice someone like her? She had not achieved getting the answer yet… She only can say what she knows, that she loves him like nothing else in this world, he is everything to her, her sun, her soul, her strength… she gave him all her being and she will never regret about that decision.
Never…
"I'm so tired" Bella whispered with her head down. She tightened her jaw to avoid cry because her throat began to compress in a way so familiar she knew that missing seconds to collapse. But she couldn't do it. She swore to herself look good in what may be, and a red eyes and swollen nose don't meet that objective and that was her first day, she needed keep her promises…
"Bella…" He whispered raising his hand until almost touch her. She closed her eyes to feel him, taking a deep sight, "you´ll be fine". He repeated in that voice that she remained very well, counseling her and comforting her "you never get to see how strong you are" he had said many times before. She wanted believe she was strong and she would come out of that proof, that she wasn´t a coward and she didn´t need run away… though if she was sincere with herself it is what most wanted do in that moment.
The brunette smiled slightly, although without leaving to tighten her jaw, perhaps she was trying to comfort him in return. "I'm not sure about that…" muttered reckless… Apparently, her words were not attached to her intentions.
"You'll always be the most stubborn women that I ever met" He said funny lowering his hand until his lap.
She shrugged "One of my many defects…" She muttered seeing the building with absolute horror.
"Defects?" He asked puzzled "you're never gonna see yourself clearly… you are perfect."
She snorted and shook her head whilst she tried unsuccessfully to cover her neck.
"Don't do that…" he said raising his hand to avoid it, but he regretted in the last moment so he left it in his original position.
"I´m awful…" She whispered trying to cover the big scar what it was since her jaw until the right breast with her hair… but was impossible, even if she wears the most demure blouse and her hair, the scar protruded anyway. It was huge and red, according the doctor, color was going to disappear, until become to pink or white, even he talked about cosmetic surgery but she had not decided anything. That scar was the only thing that she remained.
"Beautiful…" He said getting closer to her ear but not touching her "always…"He pulled away and he laid on the seat. "If this day is hard to through, think about us… remember I´ll never leave you.
"Do you promise?" She asked with wet eyes looking at him anxious, she needed him to say it to her, to repeat to her, she needed him forever.
"I'll never let you go" Edward repeated grinning and looking at her totally in love. "Think of me and you'll be fine, and if it gets insupportable to you... seek me, you know where find me. Bella... I'll always be there for you."
She nodded once and she got out of the car taking a deep breathe, she needed be brave and if she saw him again she would ask him to take her away, where anyone could find them. She knew she cannot do it.
She entered to the building with slow and hesitant steps. She found Jessica at the entrance, she works as receptionist. Impressed by the reaction of Jessica, she almost came back to the vehicle and to him.
Pity...
That was the expression in gaze's Jessica. Bella wanted cover her neck and run, but although she covers it with blouses, hands or hair, the mark is there anyway.
And it wasn't going to disappear.
No matter how much she desires or wants to erase it, she couldn't keep away the accident she had six month ago, what it left her marked forever.
Her life was perfect and now... is gone.
She greeted Jessica warmly, and, though she found a lot of people in the way to her office, she wanted avoid them; the only expression she noticed was pity... condescension... even disgust? She shuddered by that thought and by the range of feelings she evoked. When she finally reached to her floor, she slowly closed her door's office, she rested her head on the door taking deep breathes to calm down.
She didn't want to have a panic attack, she had suffered various for a while, so she used the tools who her doctor had proportionate. She felt her forehead wet by the sweat but she wasn't hot, rather it was inversely. She was as cold as ice, and she wrinkled the face when she tried to calm down.
She slowly turned and opened her eyes. The office was same like she was left six months ago. The only change was the tray full of paper because of inactivity and besides, she looked everything different. Before, that place was her small paradise, her achieving maximum, the place where she could help to create magic and unreal worlds.
Now, it was a prison...
She walked to her chair and she slumped into it throwing the purse without a kind of modesty. She smiled when she watched the picture that was in a side of the desk. They were Edward and she smiling and embraced on the couch of her house. He had wrapped his arms around her shoulders and Bella held his forearms with her hands. Edward watched to the camera with a big smile and his bright eyes, whilst Bella looked at him... like always since she met him.
"Think of us..."so it's what she gotta do to protect herself from the outside people and anyone who wanted makes her to remember things that are preferable forget.
"I did never can stop seeing you... even when I met you" she whispered to the pic while she touched it and smiled.
Bella was stand on the bank's line waiting her turn, with a book in the hands and headphones blaring, she was listening Evanescences. When she read the protagonist didn't wanted marry the women because there's a tale of a pigtail, she smiled and at same time, she felt how was pushed in the back.
She tensed a little but a second later she ignored the hit and continued reading, she was in a line, that things happen... perhaps someone tripped.
Five minutes later... another hit...
Two minutes later... again...
Three minutes later... once more time and she had enough. She lowered the book, she took the headphones off and turned to shout any type of insults to the unbalanced idiot who was tormenting her, but she froze to see the man, cardinal's author that she would have next day.
She saw him from top to bottom gaping, unable to conceal. He was tall, white skin, stunningly, beautiful, perfect... unreachable... and a complete jerk unbalanced who enjoys hit people waiting innocently in the bank's line.
however and knowing he had a weird pathology and she was completely out of her small corrective world and normal appearance, she couldn't do another thing but looked at him like if she would lose fifty points of IQ.
Of which were reduced to zero when he grinned still looking at her. God... she was wrong... now of course he was perfect.
He frowned and seconds later, maybe by the state of idiocy that she was submerged, He bended his body to watch what she was reading "One hundred years of solitude..." He said seeing her again "is that your life's resolution?"
Bella looked him confused for seconds and she left the visual lethargy which had fallen and frowned "Sorry... what are you talking about?"
He smiled and took a step getting closer to her, a step closer than normal "I am talking about you small book and your headphones... they make you be out of the world." concluded quietly.
Bella saw him paralyzed and then she felt how came within an absolute rage by the way she was being offended by someone she didn't know who he was, and until just a moment, he hit her 'accidentally' in various chances... In that moment, she began to doubt about the supposed inability of balance with she was excused him at first.
"Excuse me" She took another step getting closer to him and stared at him, apparently she couldn't stop looking at him " I don't know who you are or what the hell you want, but this" said noting a small circle " is my! Personal space and you are invading it with your 'accidental' knocks and for your! Information it's my book, my time and my life...I don't remember named you my spiritual adviser or coach of life... idiot" she muttered and by first time in her life all was completely synchronized and wonderful.
Perfect hateful words came out of her mouth; there was a complete and absolute silence from the guy. She retired just in the moment that she had to go because it was her turn in the bank... moment in that she was winning.
She came off the bank ten minutes later, ordering herself to not seek the 'jerk', so she walked to the nearest park of the local. She sat down on one of the concrete bench and she took from her purse a little sandwich, her lunch, watching the building the most impressive of the neighborhood.
'Lovers book'
The biggest editorial of Seattle and where she served as proofreader number 3 since a year; she had four years working in those offices. Her dream was be editor, she loved her job and she was going to get it... she was sure or at least she waited it for.
She put her headphones again and she began to eat seeing the building and dreaming a perfect future where she made all her dreams. When she was in middle of her lunch her gaze was completely blocked by a person.
She looked up and she was paralyzed seeing the man who she was insulted in the bank without a kind of subtlety.
What?
She looked at her nosy and he sat to her side on the bench without permission.
Bella removed her headphones and she looked at him amazed. The man took his gray jacket off, took his briefcase, which she noticed for first time, and he pulled out a small paper packing.
She saw him amazed... he was going... no... He wasn't going to eat there with her, was he?
When she saw him pulling out a turkey sandwich, her eyes widened "excuse me?" She asked not believing what's going on and she didn't know if call to the police to denounce harassment, leave the park or stay to look him fascinated.
Apparently, she chose the last option because she just couldn't stop looking at him.
He saw her and smiled before biting a big portion of his lunch making pleasure sounds. When he finished chewing, he nodded thoughtfully "I apologize to you for not sending me good wishes... you know... says bon appetite..." He shrugged like if he apologized to her for her lack of education.
"What? " She asked confused "I guess you should go..." she said in low voice completely horrified.
"I'm not occupying your..."he made a circle " personal space"
"Of course you are..." she refuted quickly.
"Of course I'm not" he looked funny and she swears that he was smiling and his green eyes shone "I clearly remember the size of the circle you did there behind and it is until there" He pointed 2 inch to her.
"What the hell do you want?" She said upset and frustrated letting the sandwich next to the bench to can face him.
"The same thing I wanted twenty minutes before you made me quit to my short spiritual adviser career"
"So, what's that?" She asked amazed for some things. The guy was a Greek god and he was speaking her, that, as she noticed in that moment, it was the most exciting thing that had happened her in a long time and all her alarms that normally shout run away, were damaged or temporally dead because there's no another world part that she wanted be but with this green eyes guy.
"Know you" He announced putting away the lunch and lifting his hand to shake "nice to meet you, my name is Edward Cullen…"
She saw the hand and the guy interleaving for a minute but he didn't move, lower the hand or close to her either, he just was giving her time to accept the gesture or doesn't. Unwittingly, or very wittingly, she didn't want fool herself, she raised her hand and shook his hand. "Bella Swan..." she shyly murmured.
"Bella Swan" He repeated like he felt satisfied by the discovery "There's something you should know about me…"
"Besides you are a harasser and a weird one?" She said and immediately bit her bottom lip. She have always been shy even introvert, but in five minutes that Edward had made her tell what she was thinking with ease that excited her, and terrified at the same time...
He laughed and she stop breathing, in that moment, she realized that their hands was interlaced, so she left to apply pressure and watched the grip understanding he didn't let go. He pulled her invading, entirely, her personal space, and instead to fight, she stayed hypnotized observing golden reflections in his emerald glance.
She must have run away, scream, ask help... but the only thing that she could do was breathe accelerated... with no reason apparently.
"No... It's not that" he murmured and she felt her body heat emitted. What the hell was she doing? Why did not she go away? Why did she want get closer? Just had met him for God sake! "Rather this..." He stuck to her making their thighs touch each other; even it felt the warm of his skin though they had layers of clothes amongst them "I have the sense to invade your personal space from this day..."
"What?" She asked terrified seeing his eyes and the union of their thighs without understanding what was happening.
"And make you my girlfriend..." he said as if it was the most normal thing in the world, or if he speaks about what he was going to dine that day. Before sitting comfortably and bite again his food, he quietly released her hand letting her paralyzed with her heart pounding...
"Bella..." She stopped looking the picture, blinked many times getting out of her memories to notice Bree. Her assistant "meeting will begin in five minutes" the girl continued smiling whilst she was frowning and standing in front the desk just a little uncomfortable.
Bella winced as seeing how Bree looked covertly her scar, she turned her head, took a deep breathe trying to control herself "Thanks" murmured with the calmest voice she could do.
"If you need help..." Bree told taking two steps to get closer.
Bella saw her again, she felt her chest pressed as noticing pity in the glance of Bree accompanied with pain. Bree always had been so good to her since she was proofreader. When Bella received her promotion and became editor, she effusively congratulated her and got excited when Bella had chosen as her assistant.
But they never had worked together, because Bella had performed her duties not even a day as Editor, since she was named six months ago.
"I'm fine" she said repeating the two words she had more said in those months, to her parents who now they are in their respective cities, to her friends, to her fellows, medics and psychologists... she didn't say it only to him... He only knew how she was.
She got up from the seat ignoring Bree and her help. She walked to the conference room not paying attention to anyone, she really didn't care.
Edward was right when he told her to be isolated from the world, it's true, and he was the only one who entered into her shell, where only books and parallel worlds were with her. Now, after all, she was more lost than ever.
She came in to the conference room and watched without seeing anyone until she sat on the farthest side of the oak table.
"I'm glad you're back Bella" Garret said, the boss of the editors. She smiled nodding slightly not knowing what to say. Really, she didn't know how it feels to be back. Maybe it feels nothing.
"Thank you, Garret" She told him cordially. That was the answer more educated to give.
The four main editors took seat and the five junior around Bella with Garret presiding the meeting. Bella observed for seconds. Everyone looked at her as if she was the phenomenon of day, they smiled at her condescendingly.
She only wanted scream at them to stop, that leave her alone! Why did they look at her? She hated it!
But instead to tell something she looked forward, she covered her scar with her hair as much as she could. She sank just a little more on her seat.
Then, Mrs. Carmen, the oldest editor of the company approached to her place. She smiled at her lovingly making her to see her "I'm so sorry my little girl" She said painfully. Bella opened her eyes wide and covered what was still visible of the wound with her hands. Until when were they going to give her that kind of empty words? Had not been enough six months? In that moment she remembered Carmen had been out of the country in a tour with an Irish author, she nodded in recognition. Apparently had not been enough. "How is...?"
"Is fine" she said sharply without seeing to her face. Carmen looked at her confused for seconds and she was going to speak but her boss interrupted her.
"It's time to start the meeting" Garret said immediately. She breathed deeply relieved. "I've chosen five scripts to be published this trimester, besides the three mayor high-profile works that senior have to attend... It's time to decide who is going to take care of each one..."
Bella lowered her head. She began to scratch the sheet of her yellow block without hearing the guidelines from her boss.
"Why do you make circular and triangle stripes on each surface that you find free?" Edward asked sitting behind her, tying her with his legs, kissing her neck, making move the notebook she was using to draw, making her to get out of the circle she had ten minutes drawing.
"Hey! " Bella yelled pulling away a bit "I've not given you permission to do that..."
Edward smiled and embraced her stomach "Haven't you?" He whispered and she stood up looking at him shocked.
"Personal Space Cullen... respect it!" She said throwing the notebook. She began to walk away from the bench where for a month, illogically and absurdly had met without fail, since they met.
It seemed as if he really harass to her. So, her first perception was correct. He always came at the time lunch, he ate to her side, chatted, flirted, held her hand and Bella didn't Know how stop him.
She had rejected each of his invitations, she had denied any kind of phone contact, even she had abandoned that site to lunch for some days... but curiosity and kind of unhealthy fixation had made her to come back. Although she repeated to herself over and over again she did it just to see whether he had left his purpose, when she found him in the bench waiting for her, her heart beat rapidly. He always had a wide and ironic smile, as if that gesture says he knew she is going to come back...
But all that finished in that moment... Who the hell did he think he was? No one... he's no one... she had no interest in him... no... She doesn`t have.
At the fifth step she felt him grabbing her forearm, she turned to his body. Bella glaring him "let me go" she said with tight mouth while she was trying to getting away.
"Today we're gonna work about personal space" He said with a flirty grin. He stuck completely to her. Bella stayed paralyzed looking at him terrified "any distance longer than this is unacceptable..."
"What?" She muttered shaking her head.
"Lesson number one of your spiritual coach" he said playfully before to take her nape with his hand getting closer to his body "I like you Bella and you like me... don`t..." He emphasized whilst she shaking her head and she was going to shout him he was insane "don't deny it".
Before she could say any word he kissed her passionately.
The best kiss she had received in her whole life...
"Bella could take care of the 'a night at the castle' script" Garret said. She left the notebook and pen, she saw him as noticing he was pronounced her name "is about suspense and intrigue in the monarchy, I guess she could do it, what do you think Bella? Do you think you are ready for this challenge?"
She nodded absently. She didn't know how she was going to do it, because she couldn't focus for more than minutes, but that day it was going to be the first normal day after what happened, so she would do it.
"But" Victoria interrupted looking at Garret confused "I take care of that area, Bella always has been the pinky novels girl and stuffs like this... even when she was proofreader. There's a script of those, about the protagonist woman had a traffic accident and she lost mobility in one leg, but the protagonist man loves her too much so he made her to persevere, to come to..."
Bella got up from the chair as hearing the summary. She saw them confused making people stayed silent. They saw her understanding, with pity, shame. She felt she was going to shout louder and throwing on the floor.
No, she really can`t do that. She couldn't read that story, she couldn't... she felt how the wound burned like it still opened, her heart practically exploited with the fast beating in her chest.
She got out of there ignoring the Garret's voices who was calling her. She locked herself in her office sitting on the ground. Seconds later she covered her mouth with her hand to avoid scream.
She picked up her mobile and called Edward. She needed hear his voice, he tells her that she was fine and she could get through this... Only if he says she could believe it.
She heard ring twice and get in voice mail breathing deeply and she bit her bottom lip "Hi, you're talking to Edward Cullen. I'm busy, leave your message and I will call you back... if you are Bella... I'm waiting for you honey... don't let me wait for so long... stubborn is a big defect, your spiritual guide is telling you"
She hung up laughing while she felt how her tears came out from her cheeks. God! He never deleted that message...
She went round her house again totally dressed to hang out without knowing specifically what to do. She felt afraid to go to that site, to date him. She liked him, may more than that, he had two months chasing her and finally she agreed to have a date with Edward but now... she didn't know what to do.
She was alone; he was too perfect to her, that things just didn't happen to someone so normal like Bella. That is a dream she would wake up in any moment. In real world, any handsome doctor and totally single pursues her... it is completely impossible.
She shook her head whilst she looked for her phone... she just could be his friend, anymore... she wouldn't hang out with him and she wouldn't love him.
Yes, it is what she would.
She picked up the phone and prayed to heaven to the voice mail enter. She always had preferred the evasive technique to face, so for this reason she got excited so much when she reacted in that way in the bank.
At the second ring the voice mail gets in. she thanked to heaven, God, universe, to the little aliens who they are in the humans by this gift...
"Hi" she heard the voice of the voice mail "you're talking to Edward Cullen. I'm busy, leave your message and I will call you back... if you are Bella... I'm waiting for you honey... don't let me wait for so long... stubborn is a such defect, your spiritual guide is telling you"
She ended up listening the message and she laughed shaking her head. Jeez... Did he really know her very well? Did he foresee she would call to cancel the date?
He named her honey... she felt her heart explode, so she headed to her first official date with a Greek god, doctor, the man most perfect that she have met, but more important than that... her spiritual guide...
"Open the door Bella..." She heard the Garret's voice and she felt her shoulders dwarfing as all her body too.
"No" she muttered like a little girl and not like the women who was 28 years old.
"Please..." he asked and he scratched the door as if he was completely stuck to it.
She stood up hardly, she opened the door without worrying about clean her face "I'm sorry" she slowly murmured while she closed the door blocking both.
"My girl..." He said touching her cheek "too soon?" said with a worried tone making her get smaller.
She looked down but she nodded minutes later. Yes, it was too soon, she really was not ready to all that... "I can't Garret" she confessed touching her scar on the neck, unconsciously "I can't..."
He hugged her tightly, giving her encouragement words and comforting her. He was a good friend; he was who recruit her when she finished the university four years ago, that since that moment she had worked in his same team. "No one is blaming you Bella..."
"I know" she said and took a deep breathe. She made very well that job all by herself.
"Maybe we could try it in a month" he proposed caressing her arms.
Bella lowered her head and denied "perhaps never pass enough time..." said with broken voice.
"Don't say that..." He said desperately raising her chin to she could looked at him "I don't think he wants..."
"No" Bella said staring him, begging him to do not say it, "please..."
Garret saw her for seconds and she thanked he didn't looked her with pity. He was the only one he didn't. He only saw her with affection and comprehension, might it could be because he had trough by a similar situation many years ago. He nodded as if he was deciding something; he released her and walked slowly to her desk. Moments later took among his hands the Bella's purse and offered her "It's time you go home..."
She saw him for seconds and nodded. She wasn't going to have her first normal day, she had failed... "Thanks" She murmured taking her stuffs; she cleaned her face and got out of her office with head held high.
When she got out of the building, she smiled as seeing the reception. Flowers of the garden had flourished and it was so breathtaking beautiful. When she saw it, she stayed static for seconds.
"It's a surprise" Edward murmured with seductive voice by phone. Bella frowned thoughtfully.
"But... I can't go just like that" she said totally blushed whilst she saw Bree sitting to her side smiling in complicity "I need clothes... personal stuffs..." She couldn't escape a weekend with just a minute of anticipation...
"Honey..." Edward said with seductive voice and she melted a bit, making her to waver her decision "If this weekend goes as I have planned, no one of us will need clothes" she blushed intensely and her body tensed by that words "and we'll buy it on way... run away with me Bella... come on... I know you want to..."
She laughed and watched Bree who nodded without knowing what the hell he was talking or what he was offering. It was insane; she was officially dating with him since three months ago. They had not been intimately together and jeez! How she wanted to "Ok" she whispered breathless "let's go to your cabin that is amazing..."
"I didn't say the cabin is amazing... I said I am..." he sounded totally satisfied and happy for her attending which made to her heart exploited with happiness "In a second I`ll be over there and I'll look for you." He hung up like if was afraid she would change decision and Bella smiled.
Those months had been the most perfects she had in her life. He was wonderful, amazing, and little by little he has broken every one of the barriers she had made years ago... She was completely exposed to Edward Cullen and worst of all is she didn't feel fear for that.
Bree saw her for seconds and smiled "are you excited, in love or totally lost?" They're both were sat at the garden in front them job, they were chattering as they did it occasionally. Bree was a very nice and open person.
Bella looked at her for seconds analyzing the feeling she had for that man who he had come to revolutionize her life five months ago. Her heart exploited when she looks at him, she was hypnotized every time they were close and he made her to feel perfect, wanted... loved.
Seconds later she saw his Volvo parking in front of they and she sighted surrounded "totally lost" they said at same time and laughed funny.
She ran and get in to his vehicle with her eyes bright and her heart in the throat. She approached to him wrapping him with her arms. She kissed him on the lips surrendering to the inevitable and finally accepting it.
She had fallen in love with Edward Cullen.
Bella stayed supported on the seat of her vehicle watching the street. She saw pedestrians passing; she saw the park what it was in front of the building.
"Edward... what's wrong?" She asked sitting on the bench and seeing him. He was staring her without talking.
Even he had not tasted his lunch. It was almost time to finish his recess from the hospital.
She stared him; she remained all what was happened between them at the cabin two weeks ago. Oh God, make love with him had been one of the best experiences of her life.
A thousand better than his kisses... and that was saying a lot.
He took her by her neck; he caressed circularly that point not saying a word. She frowned confused. She didn't understand why he was acting like that. Edward connected their foreheads sighting deeply, he grinned making his green eyes shone a bit, she saw the golden shine and she bit her lips in recognition.
He moved closer to her to his body and he sat her on his lap, so she embraced to his neck instinctively "I love our new definition of personal space" he murmured kissing her shoulder and she shuddered in return... Every time they made love, she wanted him more and more, so she sighted wishing that park turned into a room.
She wanted a prince and she got it... might couldn't they become a simple open space into a closed? That was nothing compared.
Edward rubbed her with his nose and he stared her "Bella..."
"Yes, Edward?" She asked looking at him confused.
"I love you" he whispered staring her.
She smiled and her eyes filled with tears by that statement. She knew it, each time he made her love, touched her; it was like if he told her. But it was a good thing he declared loudly too "I love you too" she replied caressing his neck and kissing him slowly and quietly.
They were in home...
She blinked many times getting away that remain. She turned on the vehicle to could get out of there. She wanted go home, she had enough that day.
She arrived to her apartment twenty minutes later. She ignored to the neighbors and the kid who she tried to throw the ball to play with her as normally she did. She wanted hide quickly
She got in the elevator and she closed her eyes feeling surrounded. Edward was wrong, she was not going to be fine, and she got to go away from there while she could. She couldn't be in that prison for more time. She wasn't ready, maybe she never would be.
She opened the door of her apartment, or rather the apartment of they both and she closed it behind her. She saw the yellow furniture throwing all the stuffs, and she lay down on it because she was without strength.
"Bella don't cheat" Edward grumbled, though truly it was impossible she could do it because he had her eyes totally covered with his hands. She walked two steps more and he stopped moments later "I'll release your eyes but don't open them... ok?"
"Ok" she whispered breathless and smiling. She had not seen anyone who likes the surprises a lot as like Edward... Jeez
"Open them" he said minutes later and she did it slowly. She watched the wooden door and she took the hand he was offering.
They came in to the large, white apartment. It was swanky; it knows it for the big and beautiful neighborhood "What's this place?" Bella asked releasing his hand walking for the huge living room with wood floor.
"Our home" He said with excited voice.
"Our?" she turned to look at him because was to him, so she stayed paralyzed. In front of her Edward was down on one knee and in his hand was a little box with a simple diamond ring.
"Edward..." She said smiling and feeling her eyes damp.
"I know just have been eight months since we met each other, and that everybody will say it's hurried, but since the moment you yelled at me in the Bank I knew you are for me... honey... I love you..." He said smiling and she covered her face "make me the happiest man of the world agreeing to be my wife and share my life forever..."
She looked at his and grinned. God, she loved him too, so hard that her heart seemed like it was going to out of her chest. It was perfect, he was and every day, she had repeated to herself that it really was happening, that wasn't a dream.
"Don't make me wait Bella..." He warned though he was grinning, expectant.
She laughed and moved close to him. She nodded effusively "Yes... yes.. I love you and of course I will marry you" she said jumping and hugging him tightly.
Edward solemnly put the ring on her heart finger; he kissed that site almost with adoration. She took a relief breath and he took her in his arms kissing her, pressing her against his chest... "I'll make you happy Bella" He said whilst they both laughed excited. "I promise you..."
Bella moved the ring on her finger. She smiled remembering how he asked her marriage. God, how she loved him, it was completely irresponsible want to get married with someone just knew him in such short time, but she couldn't avoid it.
The phone rang; she sighted deeply and went to answer. She didn't worry to anyone and she knew she would if she picked the phone.
"Hello" she answered at the fifth ring looking her reflection in the mirror of the living room. She had lost so much weight when she was in the hospital. Circles under her eyes made her look sicker, also the scar… was horrible, and she couldn't believe how he could think she was beautiful.
"Bella!" Her mother yelled and she left her support on the closest wall, concentrating on the conversation.
"Hi mom" she said with feigned enthusiasm "how are you?"
"Sweetheart… Garret called me…" She said worried.
Bella shook her head and she cursed under her breath. Of course Garret was going to call to her mother, in those moments she preferred a normal boss and not to the meddler friend, she knew he was worried, she must prohibited him before she got out of there "I'm fine" she repeated by nth time.
"No, you aren't" René refuted quickly "why don't you come to stay a season in Jacksonville with us? If you might breathe another air…"
Bella shook her head saying nothing "No" she said a minute later when she noticed she had not pronounce a word.
"Bella… sweetheart… you can't…"
"I can't leave him mother" She said indignant. What was she talking about? She never could leave Edward here…
"I'm worried for you… you still convalescent, maybe if I travel to Seattle…"
"I'm fine" she repeated again.
"You can't change what happened darling… you almost die, please… you aren't fine yet, maybe you'll never be".
She closed her eyes and shook her head "No…" she whispered with tears in her eyes and she hang up the call throwing the phone. She didn't want to hear it, she couldn't bear it anymore.
She took her purse and she ran off there listening the phone was ringing again. She needed see him, be with him, it was the only thing had sense in all what was going on.
She drove for hours or at least she felt so. When she arrived to the place she knew she would be, she practically jumped from the car and she went to meet him.
She walked for minutes and when she saw him again, she felt peace again "Edward…" she murmured when she was in front of him. He was as handsome as always, with his sky-blue shirt and jeans, his hair was disorderly and that smile that always she had loved "I love you…" She murmured with tears in her eyes and he smiled.
"I love you too Bella" He replied moving closer just a little more. He stood to her side and with a hand skirted her face without touch, helping to her to calm down though in this chance, it did not result.
She closed her eyes and her shoulders failed defeated. Will the pain stop someday? Seems like it never goes to lessen, her chest was torn all the time, it was as she couldn't breathe, as she would lost that capacity with her perfect life.
"Why" Bella asked but not opening her eyes "why don't you just go away…?" Her voice was broken but not compared to the way her heart was torn at time she pronounced that words "I wish you did it instead you stay here… with me… hurting us…"
She felt how he moved another step to her and she trembled a bit "I have no to do it Bella" He murmured with pain "I'm here with you…"
She raised the face and saw him with tears on her eyes. Her body shuddered uncontrollably. He looked at her defeated, but his eyes shone and looked at her with so much love as always he had. "So touch me… "She said moving closer to him "please… I wanna feel you Edward…"
He looked at her with pain by first time and he withdrew moving away from her, then Bella lowered her gaze to the thing she had to see, to pain.
Edward Anthony Cullen
1980-2011
Lovely son, brother and engaged.
We will always love you and we hope to meet you in the kingdom of heaven.
She had read the epitaph so many times that she had not to do it once more. But she did anyway. And as always, her heart broke again, so he had to hugged to herself as if she felt it was going to break, to dismember if she didn't pressed to herself. She heard a thunderous sound and looked around with her misty eyes to see where it was from. But she was alone. In that moment, she realized that the sound was she, it were her sobs so she surrounded to them like every day she visited that place since she was out of the hospital a month ago.
She knelt on the grass in front of the tombstone and she touched it softly, as at same time she was feeling marble, she was touching him.
"You will always have all that I have to give… all myself…" She murmured touching the carved words. She fell on the ground to lay down on the grass like she would be on him, looking at nothing.
"What will we do today?" Bella asked putting the seatbelt and smiling to Edward who was kissing her hand, on the engagement ring.
"It's a surprise" He said winked.
"I guess someone have an obsession with surprises subject" Bella said funny.
"And I guess someone was named Editor this afternoon…." Bella grinned. She had got her dream. Not just that thing, but all. She got the job and Edward….; her fairy tale, her perfect life.
Bella clapped and she laughed funny "Someone not… Miss Swan please… Editor."
"Mrs. Cullen coming soon" He said crossing at an intersection and kissing her hand. "In a month these little cards they made, will got to change…"
She laughed and shook her head. She looked at the road and she frowned when she saw they were taking the highway… where are we going Edward?
He smiled and winked "To celebrate baby… and perhaps to elope to get married… I haven't decided…"
Bella laughed and left her head fall on the seatback. She was so sleepy, so she closed her eyes for a moment. Between celebrations by the new position and emotions of the day, she was totally exhausted. Seconds later she fell asleep.
She woke up listening her name on screams and by a severe pain she felt in her neck. She opened the eyes disoriented. It was difficult keep the eyes opened. She felt too much pain so she screamed loudly.
"Bella…" She heard the Edward's voice as a whisper. She turned to see where she knew he was.
But all was too dark…
She only saw glass and dark. She couldn't move easily, it was as if she was upside down. She started to breathe fast causing her a big pain and she felt complete panic. "What happened?" She asked almost without voice.
"There was an animal…" Edward whispered and she trembled because she felt that something bouncing from her neck, surprisingly, pain was gone.
She moved her hand and tried to touch him, she needed check whether Edward was fine. "Where are you?" she asked disoriented.
"Bella… Bella!" A second later, he yelled because she didn't answer. "I need you to unbutton the seatbelt and get out of the vehicle…"
She tried to move and she hardly got it. She released the seatbelt with the hand she can move and she fell to the vehicle roof because in fact, they were upside down. Car was had overturned. She moved to him quickly. "Edward… come with me… let me get out you of here" She said trying to get closer but he stopped with his arm.
"Baby…" He whispered, she could see by the emergence light. Tears came out of her eyes; she felt pain, panic, and terror. He was immobilized. Wheel was buried in part of his body. There was too much blood "I need you to get out…"
"And you?" She asked desperate.
"Look for help… use the cellphone, but get out of here Bella… now!" He screamed. She smelled something also blood, it was, a vehicle liquid, like gasoline.
"I will not leave you…" She said desperate, trying to move him, but when she did it he screamed loudly by the pain.
"I know" he said gasping "Could you stop being… stubborn for once?"
"No" She said crying because her hands were full of his blood for trying to save him "please…"
"Bella… honey…. Look for help… I will be here… I promise I will not move" he said and she wanted kill him… how did he occurred joke in these moments? "I love you…" He said breathing hardly.
"No…. no!" She shouted shaking her head "don't say goodbye…. Don't tell me you love me, I'll tell you either… got me? Don't say goodbye Edward Cullen!"
She heard how he laughed, though rather, it was a muffled sound "Ok, I will not" He said a second later "but… kiss me… please…"
Bella cried loudly and she moved closer to him. He was too pale and bleeding by his head too. She kissed his lips softly tasting the blood of his mouth. "You are bleeding too much" she murmured touching him.
"Bella… please… get out of the vehicle… and get away… go to the highway… please…"
She nodded automata and she moved to the window of co-driver. She must get out of there and save him. Windows were destroyed so with her jacket she cleaned to can get out. "I will look for help… but don't die, don't leave please!" She screamed looking at him again.
She saw how he smiled and she trembled blinking to remove the tears "I will not leave baby… never" he said gasping "I didn't fight so much to have you… to leave you alone now…"
She gulped and nodding she left the car picking up the mobile what it was in her pocket pants.
He walked stumbling because he was limping on one foot. She almost couldn't breathe, besides her neck was bleeding, but she didn't care. She took her mobile but this one had not signal "damn it" she said desperate and she started to walk to the highway to look for someone who could help them.
When she arrived, she saw nothing and she turned to the vehicle. It was to 700 feet, beaten against a tree and totally overturned.
She saw a car coming so she flapped her hand to show she was there using the light of the vehicle. When that car slowed she turned to their car to shout to Edward that she had got help.
So there, everything changed.
In a second she was watching the car and she saw Edward moving.
And in the next, the car where her lover was it had exploited throwing her to the ground by the scraps.
Edward… she thought lying on the floor, feeling how she tore by something that had stuck, so fell in the unconsciousness…
Edward…
Bella touch the grass closing her eyes while she remained how she lost him…
"I mustn't left you… she murmured touching grass as if it was he "I must told I loved you" She said gasping.
"I knew it" She heard him to whispered, her Edward that he existed in her memories and she sometime saw him, so she closed her eyes.
"You left me alone…" She said crying. She had to repeat herself over and over again she had lost him, that she had lost all that day forever…
How do you overcome the lost of everything when every the day pain is more intense?
She felt as if he was there and she clenched her lips. His presence still there, torturing her, accompanying her, not leaving her alone, and she was so tired... of living without him, of needing him and remain over and over again he promised he would never leave her when it was what he did…
There are too many… too many memories, love, pain and there's no way to erase them, time will do it either.
She lifted the gaze and he was there again. He was smiling and looking at her with love, kindliness and all that he gave her for months "I'm sorry" he said sitting on the Bermuda grass and relying on the tombstone.
"It wasn't your fault…" the Edward of her imagination answered and she nodded although she daily repeated it was…. If she hadn't fell asleep, if she had not been promoted to Editor, if he had not wanted surprise her, if she had not met him…
He would be alive…
"It wasn't your fault…" Edward repeated and she embraced stronger to herself "you loved me while I was here, and you made me happy… I would never choice not meet you.
She nodded and closed her eyes knowing though her heart hurts she never would choice different. She had been loved and she had loved deeply. She never would change that for another thing "I have to let you go…" Bella whispered feeling her heart break by those words.
"I know…"
"But if I do it, you'll leave me again…"
"I'm not real" He murmured and she nodded without can look at him; she knew he didn't exist, he was dead. Although she often repeated that at the day, her creation and her vision did help to through it, to withstand the emptiness he was left with the rests of life he was left. Life; which they had planned, together.
She turned to find him sat by her side looking at her lovingly and smiling "I'll always love you…" She said raising his hand to touch him but when she touched there was nothing.
"Forever…" He answered smiling.
She cried louder and she nodded "Good bye Edward" She whispered and closed her eyes knowing when she open he wouldn't be there.
Bella repose on the tombstone, she touch it biting her lips tightly until bleeding. She tried to accept she wouldn't to have anyone, real or fancied either.
Minutes later she felt to someone sat beside her. She opened her eyes scared "Garret…" She staring him.
"Bella…" he said passing his hand over her shoulder and hugging her tightly.
"How did you know I was here?" She asked without seeing him.
"Because it was what I did the first six months after l lost my wife – He replied without releasing her.
"Does sometime pain disappear?" She asked painfully minutes later "time doesn't seem get it better… it isn't like people say…"
"It never totally disappear" Garret whispered with broke voice "but make it more tolerable" She nodded with her head down. She sensed it was going to be in that way "You're gonna be fine Bella…"
"I don't think so"
"You're the strongest women I've known".
"That told me Edward once too, but I've never understood why you think that" She said caressing the Bermuda grass.
"Because is true…" He smiled and standing up. He took her hand to stand her up too.
"Do you think…" She asked when she stood up with him and she looked at the tombstone for last time "I can find him when all this is over? ...Do they come for us when we die?"
Garret turned to her and he caressed her cheek "everyday Bella… I desire that everyday…"
She nodded and she began to walk with her friend.
She would think of it every day too… and when the end comes, she would meet with him. Only that would make her to support the absence and existence of a life without Edward.
"I will always love you…" Edward whispered on her ear whilst he embraced tightly after made love for some hours.
Bella smiled "Even when I am old, crazy or with a lot of wrinkles and you don't know where my hand starts and finish my feet?"
He kissed her neck and smiled against her flesh. "Even when all is lost, world had ended and I'm gone on the planet… even dead… that never will change…"
"Don't talk about that, Edward" She said turned amazed. "Don't talk about death… never could lose you… I couldn't bear it".
He caressed her cheek and smiled. "You'll not lose me… I'll always come back to you… besides you're very strong, you could live without me… I am who don't believe I can live without you".
Bella hugged him tightly and she shook her head, she didn't wanted think about this possibility. "Stop saying those follies and sleep…. I have a meeting at work tomorrow and I guess… finally they'll name me Editor".
He smiled and kissed her nose. "Of course they will, you're the best, baby, and I've made your gift for this event".
"What?" She asked nosy while she saw him coquette.
"It's a surprise", he said grinning.
Bella rolled her eyes but she laughed seconds later. "I'll love you even when I hate your surprises…"
He laughed and embraced her tightly. "Until when I wasn't here baby…. Forever…"
"Forever…" Bella whispered before kissing him and lay down to sleep beside the man of his dreams.