Emotional, Sirius/Remus story set during their sixth year at Hogwarts. Remus has a nightmare and just wants to talk to Sirius. The summary sucks but the story isn't half bad (:
Sirius crept into the common room, shrugging James' cloak off his shoulders and folding it neatly. He glanced around warily and then shook himself slightly, the lingering smell of the outdoors hanging around him like an aura. The last full moon of the month had been the night before, but Sirius had craved the fresh air and moonlight on his skin so much that he'd simply gone for a midnight wander as a large black dog. He rolled his shoulders experimentally and cautiously sat down in the chair by the fireplace, toasting himself. The crackling of the logs sounded fainter as Sirius slipped into sleep, eyes falling closed and breathing slowing. Within moments he was sleeping
Lupin woke up, pupils adjusting crazily to the light as he began to feel the dusty floor beneath his bare hips. he rolled over and winced, a new scratch along his shoulder twanging painfully and the sticky puddle he was lying in filling the room with a cloying scent. He snapped awake suddenly. That scent was blood. He sat up, running a hand over his face and looked over, his heart nearly stopping in his chest. Sirius was lying back, chest not moving, on the cold, dusty floorboards. Blood spattered his clothing and ran down his face. Lupin covered his face in his hands. What had he done...?
Lupin jolted awake, sweat running down the side of his face and his heart racing. He looked over at Sirius' bed, wanting to call out to him and talk to his best friend, calm himself down at Sirius' soothing words. There was no one there. His heart lurched and he stood slowly, digging his toes into the thick carpet of the dormitory he shared with James, Peter and Sirius. No one woke as he padded across the floor, sweat cooling on his skin and placed his hand on the cold metal door handle with the pattern that bit into his palm. After softly pushing the handle down and nudging the door open he placed the other hand flat against it and closed it behind him with the quietest of clicks.
'Sirius?' He called quietly, his mouth dry. There was no answer and gingerly he crept downstairs, the cold stone eliciting a gasp from his lips as it met his toes. The spiral staircase seemed different in the dark, frightening. His hand trailed along the bannister and he reached the common room, his toes once again bare against the cool floor.
'Sirius?' Remus called again, his voice breaking. There was nothing to be frightened of he reminded himself, shaking his head as if to dispel this motion. He reached the common room and saw Sirius curled up in an armchair by the fire which had long burned down to mere embers. He tiptoed towards Sirius and gently laid a hand on his arm. Sirius started awake, already reaching for his wand but by the time his hand was on the handle he realised who it was. His face filled with puppyish delight that switched quickly to worry as he noticed the pained expression on his friends face.
'Remus?' He reached out and stroked Lupins' arm gently, fingers trailing over the skin.
'Sorry for waking you.' Lupin muttered.
'No it's okay, were you looking for me?'
'I...' Lupin paused, the words sounding stupid in his head and freezing on his tongue. 'I woke up and you weren't in the dormitory and I went looking for you.' He rushed, opting not to tell Sirius about his nightmare.
'Sorry... I... Went for a walk.' Lupin nodded, running a hand over his face and shivering.
'Oh.' His voice was quiet and his tongue flicked briefly over his pale lips. Sirius touched Lupin's hand again, pulling away as the icy skin touched his.
'How long have you been up, Remus? You're cold. Icy.' Lupin shrugged, the coolness of the room and his skin not registering.
'A while.' He muttered finally, evasively.
'Remus you're shaking.' Sirius looked alarmed and placed a hand on Lupin's trembling arm.
'It's nothing.' Lupin stuttered, the cold of his skin finally worming into him. Sirius glanced at him before pointing his wand at the fire and wordlessly igniting some flames. Grasping Lupin's freezing hand, he crouched down by the fire and pulled his friend with him, gently releasing the hand as Remus felt warmth seep into him. Sirius' hand on his arm warmed him more than the fire ever could and he felt himself subconsciously pressing against him, and to Lupin's sheer delight, Sirius was not pulling away. Sirius contented himself that Lupin was now warm and went to move, but noticed how his friend's shirt had ridden up his back slightly, exposing pale lines of scar tissue.
His fingers danced in the air above them and Lupin seemed to notice, as he turned to face Sirius, a hesitant expression on his face. Sirius didn't know what possessed him, but all of a sudden his lips were on Lupin's and, a fierce happiness gripped him as he realised, Lupin was not pulling away. Quite the contrary, the young werewolf slipped his tongue into Sirius' warm mouth and Sirius gripped him around the waist, holding him close. Lupin's shirt rose up and without thinking, Sirius slipped his hand underneath it. In an instant Remus had pulled back, eyes wide with fear. He licked his lips self-consciously.
'Let me see, Remus.' Sirius whispered, reaching out a hand to Lupin who had backed away slightly, just out of his arms reach.
'Sirius.' He whispered, the words sounding like a plea.
'Trust me, Remus.' The use of his first name calmed him and he ever so slowly slid towards Sirius, eyes fixed solely on his best friend's face.
'They're ugly.' Lupin whispered, broaching his worst fear and fighting the urge to turn and race out of the common room and into his bed, to cower there until he fell asleep.
'Nothing about you is ugly.' Sirius murmured, still watching his friend consider it. After a long moment, Lupin was within distance of Sirius' arms and he slowly let out a shaky breath. Sirius' hands deftly turned his best friend and he carefully inched the faded nightshirt up, the fabric slipping like water through his fingers.
At long last Lupin's back was exposed, the harsh webbing of scar tissue thrown into relief by the flickering fire. Sirius let his fingers trail over them, each touch sending Lupin into a fit of shivers as he desperately tried to stay still for Sirius. Sirius sense the tension in Lupin and hissed softly in his ear.
'Shh... They're beautiful.' Lupin was still trembling, so Sirius lowered the shirt and just pulled Lupin to him, crossing his arms around the skinny boy's waist.
'I'm sorry.' Lupin gasped, his chest heaving and face glinting in the firelight from the tears he had silently cried.
'Don't be.' Sirius whispered softly, holding the trembling boy tightly. Lupin shifted and Sirius stood abruptly, a stab of panic running through the werewolf until Sirius' face appeared in front of him, as well as a hand outstretched. Lupin took the proffered hand and together they walked up the spiral staircase to the dormitory. They entered silently as fog, hesitating in the doorway. Sirius still held Lupin's hand, and he gently pulled the boy with him until they were both next to Sirius' bed.
They sat down on the mattress together, hands twined together. After an excruciating moment, Lupin lay down, curled up tight into a ball. Sirius lay facing him, gathering him up into his arms and holding him, fingers tracing the scars through the thin nightshirt. Lupin was quivering and Sirius slowly inched the warm eiderdown covers over them both.
'Shh...' Sirius whispered, Lupin tightening his grip on Sirius' forearms with every shudder. 'I got you.' He knew Lupin was reliving his attack, he could feel the tenseness in his muscles and he knew that Lupin was mentally trying to escape from what had been pursuing him since that night.
'I'm scared, Sirius.' It was the first time Lupin had spoken during his haunted memories and Sirius held him close, allowing the shivering boy to hear his steady heartbeat beneath the skin of his chest.
'I've got you.' He whispered over and over until Lupin slipped into sleep. Lupin gripped Sirius' fingers tightly in his sleep, and Sirius just watched over him until he too fell asleep, reassured by the comforting weight of Lupin against his chest.
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