Disclaimer: only borrowed from the late, great Diana Wynne Jones.
There are mornings when Justin wakes up in the bedroom of the castle in Strangia he now shares with Beatrice and cannot remember who he is. Sometimes he wonders why he's lying in a soft feather bed instead of being out in the fields, a sword by his side, amid the rest of his troop. Sometimes he wonders why he has hands and feet instead of paws and a tail, and sometimes he wonders where the Witch of the Waste has gone.
Those days are growing rarer over time. Most days, now, he wakes up with an arm draped across Beatrice's shoulders, and remembers that he's Justin, Prince of Ingary and now of Strangia too, to be Prince Consort in time when Beatrice's father dies and she becomes Queen. Compared to being a man enchanted as a dog, or a headless body, or a cynical soldier, he has to admit it's an improvement.
Beatrice does most of the planning for their new life. She agrees the wedding plans, and Justin goes along with the joint wedding with Abdullah and Flower-in-the-Night because it seems to make sense. And Abdullah's not such a bad sort, after all, for all his flowery epithets. Afterwards, Beatrice announces they are going away for a week to a house in Ingary, which apparently belongs to a friend of Sophie and Howl Pendragon. Justin goes along with that too, and they have really a very pleasant time, wandering through the gardens and getting to know each other thoroughly. Justin finds his wife is just as downright and straightforward as she had originally seemed. He rather likes it.
They argue. They argue rather a lot, and the servants look at them both askance. It is Not Done to argue, if you are a prince and princess, but neither Justin nor Beatrice is the sort of person to hold back on strong feelings.
The first big argument is about cats. Justin wants cats. Beatrice does not. When Justin spots an orphan kitten in the street – tortoiseshell, not black like Whippersnapper had been before he turned into a baby – he picks it up and brings it home. Beatrice shouts. Justin shouts back. The tortoiseshell kitten sits on the carpet between them and mews pitifully, and eventually Beatrice's heart seems to be melted by its pleas and the argument subsides in favour of finding the kitten a basket and some milk.
Of course they have another argument over its name, but that's rather a pleasant argument. Justin realises that both of them are just too strong-minded not to argue, and sometimes the aftermath of the argument makes it all worthwhile.
Beatrice's father dies only eighteen months after they marry – unexpectedly, from a heart attack – and suddenly she is Queen of Strangia. The funeral is suitably lavish, attended by kings and princes and wizards from all the neighbouring countries. Justin's brother, tugging along a subdued Valeria by her hand, wishes the new Queen and Prince Consort the best of luck. "If you need advice, you know," he adds, as Valeria tries an escape in the direction of the funeral feast, "please just ask."
The Pendragons are there too, in suitable black although Wizard Howl's suit is nevertheless festooned with lace (black) and ebony buttons. Sophie hugs them both, and adds her offer of a shoulder to lean on should they need it, before hurrying off after Morgan who appears to have the same idea as Valeria with regard to cake.
After the funeral the castle, though small, feels quiet. Justin misses the bellowing orders of his father-in-law; Beatrice does not bellow. She insists on making the decisions about ruling the country by herself, in public, arguing that since Justin is from Ingary and their countries had been at war, it is more fitting.
Justin takes umbrage at that. "We haven't been at war for years," he points out. "And we're imarried/i, Beatrice, you must let me help."
"Because you're a man?" she demands, folding her arms and glaring up at him.
"Because I'm your husband!" he returns. He glares back. The cat, christened Turtle, entwines itself around his legs and he bends to pick it up.
Beatrice reaches out as though to scratch Turtle behind the ears, but then clearly remembers she is angry with Justin and folds her arms again. "I'm holding court alone," she says.
"I'm sure you'll be marvellous, dear," says Justin, watching her go.
Of course she spends dinner that night complaining about things, and he offers suggestions and advice, and realises that perhaps this is the easiest way to help Beatrice, unobtrusively.
After that things settle down rather nicely. Not only is the kingdom well-run, but Justin gets plenty of time to play with Turtle, to go out and remind himself of what holding a sword feels like with the castle guard, just in case. He rides to Ingary once every few months to see his brother and his niece and field awkward questions about when Strangia will have an heir. He also pops in to see Abdullah and Flower-in-the-Night, and a bit of him envies their happy domesticity – although he's extremely glad that Beatrice doesn't expect the sort of verbal adoration Abdullah showers on his princess.
But he's always happy to come home to his queen, and listen to her news, and be a dutiful husband. There is a threat of an invasion, and Justin straps on his sword and heads off with the Strangian army just in case. Beatrice stays at home and exercises diplomacy; frankly, far more successfully than Justin and his band of swordsmen. The invasion is staved off before it has even started, so Justin brings his army home to cheers and flowers and kisses blown by an adoring public.
In the quiet cool of the palace Justin hands his sword to a servant and goes to find Beatrice. She is not in the throne room, nor in the council chamber. Shedding his jacket into the hands of another servant, Justin eventually finds her in their bedroom, where she is sitting looking at herself in the mirror.
"Oh. Hello. You have flowers in your hair," Beatrice says, turning as he enters.
He brushes them away. "Well done," he says.
"Um. Yes." She looks back to the mirror. "We're going to have a baby," she tells him, suddenly, and Justin's heart gives a great leap. "But you're not to fuss," Beatrice adds, and stands up. "You look awful. Go and have a bath. We have ambassadors to entertain."
He sweeps her up in a kiss anyway, and she laughs, complains about his smell, and pushes him off towards the bathroom.
There are mornings when Justin wakes up in the castle in Strangia and wonders just how he got to be so lucky. But then Beatrice pushes him out of bed, and it's another day of managing a kingdom and chasing a lively Strangian heir.
He would not be anywhere else.