DISCLAIMERS
Author's Note: This document was originally typed up on Microsoft Word 2007, so some editing has been done to make it friendly. There were originally footnotes, but does not support footnotes, so instead foot notes will be written in brackets.
Strangely enough, the author does not live on reviews, does not care whether you review or not, and will not beg for reviews.
The rating is currently K+, but if requested, the author will bring it up to T.
Not all of these are disclaimers, some "disclaimers" are actually warnings/etc.
This story was written mainly to annoy/etc. people. So if you dislike this story, mission accomplished.
Any corrections would be greatly appreciated, especially if someone would double-check the science and computer stuff.
All notes to reviewers will be written in the "chapter" titled "Reviewers, look at this."
In this fictitious world, you must assume that Jane Austen was never alive, and the book Pride and Prejudice was never written, or that would make this whole story seem like a warped large-scale déjà vu.
DISCLAIMER: Due to the fact the author absolutely HATES and LOATHES and DESPISES mushy romance stories, this story contains some craziness, some insanity, and a LOT of creative liberty and randomness.
DISCLAIMER II: ALL EMAILS ARE COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY FAKE. PLEASE REFRAIN FROM EMAILING ANY OF THE EMAIL ADDRESSES AS I TAKE ABSOLUTELY NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY CONSEQUENCES FROM E-MAILING THE EMAIL ADDRESSES.
DISCLAIMER III: ALL CONTACT INFORMATION IN THIS STORY IS FAKE. PLEASE DO NOT TRY CONTACTING WITH THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION. I ASSUME ABSOLUTELY NO RESPONISIBILITY FOR THE CONSEQUENCES OF CONTACTING THE CONTACT INFORMATION IN THIS STORY. ALSO, ALL THE WEBSITES IN THIS STORY ARE FAKE. PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO GO TO ANY OF THE WEBSITES, IF YOU DO, YOU ASSUME ALL RESPONSIBILITIES FOR DOING SO.
DISCLAIMER IV:
Craziness, Insanity, and Randomness Facts
Serving Size Two ch. (Four half ch.)
Serving Per Story: One Story
Amount Per Serving
Calories 0
Total Fat 0[{1} Unless you are currently consuming fat containing foods, but that is not my problem, don't eat near electronics. :P]
Protein 0
Randomness 27.593732
Insanity 17395.29456
Craziness
Each serving contains the average person's daily dose of randomness. Each individual's tolerance of randomness, insanity and craziness differ. Please consult your local insane asylum if you are unsure of how much craziness, randomness and insanity your fragile mind can take.
DISCLAIMER V: PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO CONTACT ANY OF THE GOVERNMENT AGENCIES VIA THE INFORMATION IN THIS STORY. IF YOU DO CONTACT THE GOVERNMENT AGENCIES, YOU MUST ASSUME ALL RESPONSIBILITY FOR DOING SO.
DISCLAIMER VI: NOT ALL OF THE INFORMATION ON THE GOVERNMENT AGENCIES ARE TRUE, MOST OF THE INFORMATION HAS BEEN MADE UP BY THE AUTHOR.
DISCLAIMER VII: THE AUTHOR ASSUMES ABSOLUTELY NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY CONSEQUENCES RESULTING FROM READING THIS STORY. THE READER ASSUMES ALL RESPONSIBILITY FOR ALL CONSEQUENCES FROM READING THIS STORY.
DISCLAIMER VIII: DO NOT TAKE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION SERIOUSLY, IT IS MOSTLY UNTRUE, AND A FIGMENT OF THE AUTHOR'S IMAGINATION.
DISCLAIMER IX: IF YOU FAIL TO READ ALL THE DISCLAIMERS AND THE COPYRIGHT STATEMENT, THAT IS COMPLETELY YOUR FAULT, AND ALL CONSEQUENCES ARE YOUR RESPONSIBILITY; YOURS AND YOURS ALONE, YOU MAY NOT BLAME IT ON ANY BYPASSING PENGUIN OR PERSON.
DISCLAIMER X: OBVIOUSLY, I DO NOT OWN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, THE STORY BELONGS TO JANE AUSTEN. YOU CANNOT SUE ME, BECAUSE UNDER USA COPYRIGHT LAW, FANFICTION IS ALLOWED.
NOTE: THE ONLY EXCEPTION TO THE NINTH DISCLAIMER IS IF YOU ARE BEING STALKED BY A CREEPY STALKER, HAD TO ESCAPE SOMETHING TRULY SCARY [i.e. the Midnight Sun, Twilight, Stephanie Meyer, etc.], OR GOT CONTACTED BY THE GOVERNMENT TO IGNORE THE DISCLAIMERS.
CONCERNING COPYRIGHTS: THIS IS A FIGMENT OF THE AUTHOR'S IMAGINATION, SO PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO STEAL IT. PLEASE USE YOUR OWN IMAGINATION, AS STEALING THE AUTHOR'S IMAGINATION MAY RESULT IN UNPLEASANT CONSEQUENCES, SUCH AS RANDOM THOUGHTS ABOUT IF THE YETI IS AN ALBINO SASQUATCH, THE MEANING OF LIFE, THE MIDNIGHT SUN!, DARK CHOCOLATE, CHEESE, MUSIC, PI, PHI, GREEK, ARTEMIS, LATIN, ATHENA, OWLS, WOLVES, CATS, ESPIONAGE, SOLAR POWER, LUNAR POWER, TIDAL POWER AND WHETHER UNICORNS CAN FLY, THOUGH NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER, PLUS SOME THOUGHTS MAY BE REPEATED TWICE, AND SOME THOUGHTS WERE NOT EVEN STATED, BECAUSE OF THE HUGE QUANTITY OF IMAGINATION THE AUTHOR POSSESSES. WHICH BASICALLY MEANS, DON'T STEAL ANY PHRASES FROM THE STORY AND CLAIM IT AS YOUR OWN. PLEASE CITE EVERYTHING CORRECTLY IF NEEDED.