A/N : All this belongs to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just playing with her toys!

I know I already posted this chapter, but this is the beta'd version – only slightly different from the one previously posted – and I'll be posting the next chapter as soon as my beta has looked over it!

BELLA

My room looked exactly as it always had: boring, bland, and purple. I hadn't been here in almost three years and the thought of this becoming my permanent residence from now on frightened me more than I'd thought it would. How did I end up here? I slowly walked over to my neatly made bed and slung my bag on the floor next to it, longing endlessly to fall asleep and drift off into a world where the noises and nuisances of my current reality were nonexistent. I climbed up on the bed, cringing at the sound of the bedsprings creaking beneath me as I tried to make myself comfortable. It was much more difficult than I'd originally imagined, but after adjusting myself and pressing up against one of the flat pillows that rested at the head of my bed, I closed my eyes and drifted off into a light sleep.

The sweet bliss of slumber didn't last long, however, as it was abruptly interrupted by a high-pitched screech coming from the other side of my closed bedroom door. Before I could even muster up the strength to open my eyes to face the aggravating pest lingering in the hallway, he'd burst into my room and jumped up on my bed, sending the springs into yet another painful symphony of piercing squeaks. I pulled the pillow over my head, desperate to block out the undesired upcoming confrontation. He ripped the pillow harshly from my clinging grip and let out a girly giggle.

"Jackson," I mumbled, annoyance clearly coloring my hoarse voice, hoping the use of his full name would catch his attention, "I swear to god, if you don't get off me right now I'll tweeze every hair from that messy head of yours in a slow and, believe me, painful process, you little tweed!"

I cursed myself for having forgotten to pull the drapes shut, because as my little brother stood up and jumped off my bed, a rare ray of Forks sun shone through my window, making it impossible for me to even hope to catch another second of peaceful sleep. I sat up reluctantly and gave Jackson the most hate-riddled stare I could muster before grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him out the door, closing it firmly behind me. The pleasant sound of him running down the stairs lightened my mood somewhat and after a few calming breaths as I leaned my back against the closed door, I drew a final breath and walked out and into the neighboring bathroom.

I closed the door softly behind me, not wanting to attract any attention from the other two inhabitants of this bubble of joy that I now had to call home. I locked the door, feeling a satisfying waft of relief as I closed myself off from the outside world and stared at myself in the mirror, hoping that, if I wanted it enough, the world outside my bathroom door would transition back to the one I'd left behind a bare few hours ago back in Phoenix. This bathroom seemed like a 10th of the size of the one I'd had there – not only that, it had also been located in the sanctuary and safety of my own bedroom and I hadn't had to share it with other people, not to mention an old man who barely knew how to take care of himself and an ten year old boy with boundary issues.

I stared at myself in the mirror for a long time, running my pale hand through my thick brown hair, swirling the ends around my slim fingers. Slowly, I unclipped the black clips that were holding a few delicate strands of hair from shielding my dark eyes and placed them on the cold sink. I ran my hands across it, feeling the smooth cold surface brush against my fingers and it made me miss the hot soothing Phoenix breeze that would run through my bathroom window just as morning transitioned to afternoon. Everything was so cold here. And it was always dark. I hated the dark the most. The way it could consume you, choke you and cut off all clarity. That's why I'd loved Phoenix so much; the darkness there wasn't quite as dark as it was here.

After a warm, relaxing shower, I stumbled back to my chilly room, my feet dragging lazily behind me as I struggled to keep myself awake. The shower had left me oddly sleepy and I couldn't wait to snuggle into my favorite pair of sweatpants and my dad's oversized Old Navy sweater. In Phoenix it had always been too warm to wear that stuff and even though moving to Forks seemed like a significant downgrade, it did allow me to dress exactly as I wished: converse, jeans and a sweater. As little skin as possible was a rule I lived by and a dress-code which seemed to fit right in with the other Forks inhabitants.

I stood shivering by my unopened suitcase, the only thing shielding my body from the cold being the thin damp towel wrapped around it. I opened the suitcase slowly, careful to not let the towel drop and expose my naked body. After struggling with a certain amount of difficulty, I managed to extract my desired comfy clothes from the crammed suitcase and pulled the pants on. Figuring I could risk it, I let the towel drop to the floor and hurriedly pulled a tank top over my head to cover myself. I let out a deep sigh before spinning around on my heel and walking over to my room's only window. There had been a new house built right next to ours since I'd last been here and even though it looked just as tacky as ours, it still seemed more welcoming somehow. I sat myself down on the windowsill, leaning my cheek against the cold window.

I opened the window slowly, letting it swing open casually and the air immediately rushed in, engulfing me in the cold. I closed my eyes and, for the second time that day, made an honest attempt to lull myself to sleep, but, just like last time, I was brought back to reality when I heard a light cough coming from outside the window. More curious than annoyed, my eyes snapped open and I glanced out the window to find a boy staring at me, a cheeky smile playing on his thin lips. The first thought to cross my mind was how cute he was – unusually cute for such an insignificant speck like Forks. The second was that I'd just stripped right in front of him. Great - first time he sees me and I perform a life-action strip show.

I swiftly grabbed the Old Navy sweater that lay crumpled up on my bed from the long plane ride and pulled it on, trying as hard as I could to erase his first glimpse of me, which would probably be burned into his memory forever. I was mortified. I walked back to the window, my cheeks pink with embarrassment, and seated myself so my legs were dangling out the window, facing the grinning boy who was casually leaning against the balcony railing. I smiled a shy smile as I tucked a stray brown strand of hair safely behind my ear and held on to the window frame for balance. I wanted to say something, but the words clogged up my throat, making it impossible for me to speak.

The boy just laughed, and, as he did, the tiniest dimples carved into his smooth cheeks and a soft crease emerged just above his slightly raised eyebrows. He was just so pretty. And tall. The way his sleek dark-blonde hair framed his slightly rounded jaw, his bright blue eyes, the way his lips curved up in a mischievous smile all worked together to make him almost completely irresistible. Not only was he stunningly handsome, if you can even ever call a boy that, but he was dressed in jeans that were neither too lose or too tight, green worn out converse and a shirt that perfectly draped over his not too toned arms and chest. I literally had to stop myself from letting my jaw drop.

"So," he started. His voice was infinitely more enticing than I'd imagined it would be. Dark, rusty, mysterious. "It's been a while, huh?"

Momentarily confused, I let out a small cough to clear my throat, preparing myself to speak, but the only sound that escaped my lips was a faint 'huh' and immediately after it had, I covered my face with my hands. I felt like such a girl. He just smiled.

"You don't remember me," he said simply. It was more a statement than a question, so I didn't really know how to respond. Had I met him before? Nothing about him seemed familiar, but admitting that would be social suicide, so I kept it to myself and threw an awkward smile his way. "Thought so."

"Huh?" My voice sounded much too clouded as I spoke. "I don't really…"

"That's ok," he said simply, jerking his head to the side to keep his blonde fringe from covering his eyes. "I tend to be very forgettable."

"No!" I burst out before I could control myself. I figured that nothing I could possibly say would be the right, so instead I waited for him to speak.

"Bella?"

I looked up instinctively, not used to people knowing not to call me Isabella. I hated when people called me that. The name didn't suit me one bit and, in a desperate attempt to separate myself from it, I had demanded that everybody call me Bella since I was 9. How did he know that? Who was he? Why did I not recognize him?

"You are Bella, right?" he questioned, looking slightly unsure as he observed me. "I'm not going completely fucking insane, right?"

And then it clicked. "Jazz?"

He softly applauded my sudden grasp of who he was and nodded casually. "Congratulations."

"Jazz," I repeated softly as my tongue tasted the name that I hadn't said in over three years. "Jazz…"

Jasper walked over to the railing, sat down smoothly and slid his long, lean legs between the iron bars, looking at me through them as he swung his legs forward and back. I had a distinct feeling that he was doing this on purpose, just to jog my memory further, because suddenly my mind flooded with recollections of all those summers that we had spent together, him dangling his legs over the edge of the tree house we had built together at the edge of the forest, as I stood on the bottom, throwing pebbles at his feet. I had a sudden urge to throw something at him, just for old time's sake, but not knowing whether he'd appreciate the inside joke or not, I restrained myself.

"What happened to your old house?" I asked mechanically, honestly curious.

"Dad decided to upgrade," Jasper mumbled, stroking the metal bars with his hands.

"Not much of an upgrade," I joked as I threw him a crooked smile. He smiled back and I instantly felt comfortable in his presence, even though I had been a mere 14 years old the last time I saw him.

"I guess maybe he'd heard his best friend was moving back into town," he teased, no doubt knowing exactly how much I hated to be back here. I furrowed my brow, hoping he'd notice that his joke had gone extremely unappreciated.

"Ugh," I moaned, "don't remind me."

"What? Not excited to be back?" he said, shaping his features in an expression of fake curiosity. "But Forks is such an extremely exciting place!"

He laced his words with sarcasm and I couldn't help but enjoy the clear despise we both shared for this black hole, which we had both crudely been subjected to reside in. "How I stayed away, I don't know."

"Why are you back, anyway?" he questioned. "I thought you couldn't wait to get away from this hell-hole?"

We'd always called Forks our own personal hell-hole. Things hadn't changed much between me and Jasper. But even so, I was reluctant to burden him with the happenings of the past few weeks; my mother had broken to us just a few weeks ago that she was leaving my father and quickly ran away and got married to a wannabe soccer player…or football player. The small details slipped my focus as the memory of that night rushed through my mind.

"It's not you, it's me," she had pleaded, giving my innocent father that look that she knew he couldn't resist. "Stuff like this happens, Charlie. Feelings disappear."

My father had been broken ever since, barely looking me in the eye, most likely because I looked so much like her, like Renee. She had broken his heart, and our family, just so she could feel young and free again. The thought of how she had abandoned us left a sour taste in my mouth and I must have shown it in my expression, because as I looked up from my hands to face Jasper, he looked concerned.

"Don't wanna talk about it, huh?" he asked sympathetically, bringing one knee up to his chest and hugging it with his right arm. "That's cool. No worries, Bee."

He had always been good at handling my mood swings and in the heat of the moment I appreciated it so immensely that it almost made me want to jump the short distance from my window to his balcony and hug him. After a quick consideration of my clumsy nature, I decided to resist the urge. "If that's ok?"

"No sweat," he said casually. "Nothing like a little mystery to keep me up at night."

I smiled appreciatively before the sound of my father's voice made me turn around so quickly that I lost my grip on the window frame and fell backwards, landing in a pile of unwashed clothes on the floor, my legs pointing straight up and my arms shielding my head. The short-lived pain consumed me momentarily before embarrassment took over. I lay there for a few minutes, stewing in my own clumsiness, listening to the sound of Jasper's howling laughter, until I heard him call out a casual, 'it's good to have you back, Bee' and his balcony door creaking to a close.

"Bella?" my father called from the first floor, his tone hinting at slight irritation.

I struggled momentarily to untangle myself as I attempted to get out of my awkward position on the floor. After several tries I managed to free myself and reluctantly walked down the stairs to the TV room where Charlie and Jackson were watching some sort of sport on the TV. It had always amazed me how Charlie could just sit down and watch sports for hours on end, especially now that our whole house was in boxes and there wasn't even any food in the fridge to make a somewhat decent dinner of.

Letting out a deep sigh, I walked over to them and sat down in the spare chair, giving Charlie an expectant look. Realizing that he probably hadn't even heard me enter, I cleared my throat and spoke. "Dad?"

Charlie let out an indifferent grunt, before reaching down at the almost empty packet of chips that lay on one of the moving boxes, which he had apparently decided to use as both a footrest and a table. His eyes were glued on the TV where men in tight shiny pants and huge shoulder pads were running around throwing an oddly shaped ball to one another. Football. Charlie was obsessed with football, and if it wasn't football it was baseball or basketball or some other ridiculously energy-consuming sport that was more about fame, than actual enjoyment. Every night there was some sort of game that craved Charlie's consideration, but having decided early on that it wasn't worth my attention, I had never actually sat down and watched a game with him.

"Dad?"

"In a minute," he mumbled, stuffing a handful of chips into his mouth without tearing his eyes from the TV screen. It was so typical Charlie, setting up the TV before even considering unpacking or even just buying normal food so that Jackson and I wouldn't starve to death. Although Jackson probably didn't mind; he could survive on nothing but chips, coke and candy bars. I, on the other hand, had reluctantly been forced to live off the many packets of gum that had been stashed around our Phoenix home for the past few months. That is, if I couldn't muster up the strength to actually walk the 10 minutes to the supermarket, buy the ingredients and make dinner myself, which I often did. It was no wonder I was so skinny; gum and sparse meals wasn't exactly the recipe for a healthy lifestyle.

"Bella?" Charlie said, speaking more clearly now than before. The game must be over. I let out an exasperated sigh before turning to face him, trying to look as irritated as possible. He continued before I could respond. "I was thinking for dinner –"

"Oh, we're actually having dinner?" I interrupted, amazed at the possibility that Charlie might actually have thought about his children's well-being for once.

I had figured he'd detect the sarcasm in my voice, but he continued, completely indifferent to my childish teenage efforts to make him feel bad for forcing me down here whilst in the midst of my childhood reunion with Jasper. "The Hales invited us over. As a sort of welcome thing, I guess."

My heart skipped a beat. "Hales?"

"Yeah," Charlie said, picking up the now empty bag of chips and one of the many beer cans that stood parked on the floor at the edge of the couch. "You used to be friends with their kid – what's his name – Jasper. Remember him?"

Not wanting to look too intrigued, I pretended to mull it over, biting my lip and letting my gaze drift as if to hint at wonderment. "I think so…"

"He had that older sister," Charlie continued, "the one with the –"

"Yep! Got it!" I exclaimed, not wanting to divulge further into the adventures and misadventures of Rosalie Hale. I had heard plenty about her during the summers I had reluctantly spent here, in this very house. Whenever I went to Jasper's house, which happened rarely since we spent most of our time in our homemade tree house, there would always be something wrong with her, whether it was her promiscuous lifestyle, her irrational smoking habits or her nonexistent good grades. Even though she had only been a 15 year old girl at the time, the trouble she got into far exceeded her age and it had left Jasper in the shadows, ignored by his parents and unappreciated by everybody around him. Until I came along. He would always tell me that.

"You wanna come?" Charlie inquired, walking into the kitchen, pausing only momentarily to check that his gun was still in its holster. He'd made a habit of doing that every time he passed the hallway, probably just his instincts as a cop getting the best of him.

"Sure," I mumbled, mentally preparing myself for what was yet to come that evening. I said a silent prayer, hoping with all my heart that the next two years here would be bearable enough that I would get through them somewhat unscathed. It didn't seem all that likely, and I didn't believe it for a moment, but figuring that it was the only option I had, I decided to pull myself out of the gutter. I put on a wide smile and walked up the stairs to get dressed, desperately hoping that this time it would be out of eye-shot of my new neighbor. I pulled the curtains closed just to make sure.

-

I woke up the next morning with a start, the happenings of the preceding evening still clouding my mind as I lifted my heavy eyelids and took in the murky gloom that filled up my cramped bedroom. I rolled over in my bed, hugging the blanket closer to my body as I felt the cold prickling my exposed cheeks. The discomfort was almost unbearable, so I gave up trying to fall back asleep and instead picked up my iPod to check the time. 4:56.

"Shit," I mumbled as I turned so I laid on my back, placing my thick and worn out iPod and classic on my stomach, inserting the cold earphones into my ears, prepared to disconnect myself from everything and everybody. The soothing sounds of Damien Rice filled me with serenity, letting me drift off in a state that wasn't quite unconsciousness, because I was still aware, but it was as close as I was going to get to proper sleep at this time in the morning. I tapped my fingers to the beat of his calming guitar and for a moment I felt completely detached from everything that was bothering me. Until the unwelcome harsh tunes of Metallica exploded through my earphones, ripping me from my state of contentment and allowing last night's events to fill my mind.

It had started out quite well, but once Rose arrived, drunk as a drunk and clinging on to a bulky teenager who looked like he was about to pass out, it made everybody extremely uncomfortable. Especially Charlie. Charlie had always despised Rose, specifically because of all the trouble she got into, and seeing her like this didn't really help. She stumbled into the dining room, slurred something inaudible before dragging the guy behind her as she wobbled into the kitchen. After hearing the piercing sound of a glass breaking and a quick exclamation of slurred swear words, Rose and her victim staggered back into the dining room where Rose proceeded to pass out on the floor, the big guy's only reaction being, 'Holy fuck! That bitch's out cold!'

Needless to say, the rest of the night was spent in an awkward silence, which was only momentarily broken by Mrs. Hale as she questioned whether or not her guests wanted dessert. Jackson remained completely oblivious to what was happening around him and even let out a small giggle as Rose lay passed out on the floor. I became instantly jealous of how untainted he was, wishing that I too could have seen the hilarity in the moment, but being the person I was, I was instead consumed with irritation. I risked a glance at Jasper to find him looking at me as well, the expression displayed on his face telling me that he was just as goaded as I was.

A cold Sunday breeze tore me from my recollections and I opened my eyes abruptly, ripping the earphones out of my ears and placing my iPod back on the box I was currently using as a nightstand. Jasper had promised to introduce me to his girlfriend today. Yes, girlfriend. He'd mentioned her yesterday at dinner. Apparently she was the daughter of Forks' top doctor and his wife, pretty much making her Forks' own little celebrity. He had promised that she wasn't anything like the bratty, pompous, spoiled brat I most likely thought she was, which I did, and had said that we could spend today down by the lake. It stung a little to know that that was 'their spot' now, especially since that had been the place where me and Jasper had shared our first kiss when we were 6. It had always been 'our spot'. Not anymore.

So, I walked slightly reluctantly over to the Hales residence and stood outside her white-painted door before gathering up the courage to ring the doorbell. I heard a slightly muffled pling coming from the other side of the door, and just as I was about to reconsider, thinking this whole thing was stupid, the door swung open and I was greeted by a girl I had never seen before.

Even though Jasper had told me she was beautiful, the image I'd had in my head last night was nothing compared to the stunning, though petite, girl standing in the doorway. She lifted her weight to her right leg, placing one hand on her smooth hip and giving me a delicate smile that told me she was anything but the bratty, pompous, spoiled brat I'd assumed her to be. Her hair was jet black and shaped in a casual yet classy page cut, her straight fringe hovering a bare centimeter above her big round dark brown eyes. The cut perfectly framed her face, accentuating her plump pink lips and her cute button nose. I instantly felt a stab of jealousy.

"You must be Bella," she said as she stretched her right hand out to me in a friendly gesture. "Jasper's told me so much about you!"

She was too cute to resist. "Yeah," I stammered, clumsily pulling my hand out of the comfort of my snug jacket and shaking hers. "Anna?"

"Alice," she corrected, stepping to one side as if to beckon me to enter, which I hurriedly did after quickly brushing my somewhat muddy converse against the brown welcome mat. Even though they'd moved house since I was last in Forks, the smell of the Hale's residence still remained the same and it instantly made me feel less out of place.

Alice hurriedly walked into the kitchen. Unsure whether or not I was supposed to follow her, I started unlacing my red converse slowly whilst looking around the room. After a minute of shameless time-wasting, Jasper stumbled into the hallway, a wide grin spreading across his thin lips.

"What are you doing, dude?" he asked, apparently enjoying my momentary lack of confidence.

I opened my mouth to speak, but figuring that I could say nothing to redeem myself, I just smiled and tugged the converse off my feet carelessly and flung them on the floor. Jasper let out a light chuckle before he motioned for me to follow him into the kitchen. We arrived to find Alice sitting cross-legged on the counter, arranging four strands of string into a complicated braid. Jasper let out a soft cough and her head immediately snapped up.

"So," she said, jumping down from the counter with incredible ease and walking over to the two of us. "Plans?"

"Lake," Jasper said matter-of-factly, walking over to the refrigerator and extracting an already opened can of beer. He jerked his shoulder at me, probably assuming that I'd disapprove of this casual maneuver, but I didn't care. Teenage drinking didn't bother me. Sure, I'd had my fair share of alcoholic episodes that didn't exactly end well and which had eventually led me to swear off drinking for the rest of my life, but that didn't mean I would stop others from doing it. People needed to make their own mistakes, and I wouldn't be caught being the uptight know-it-all I'd been known as back in Phoenix.

"Lake it is."

We spent the rest of the day by the lake. It wasn't exactly warm enough to swim, it being in the middle of January and all, so we ended up just sitting on the rocky shore, throwing pebbles at the smooth surface, reminiscing on past summers. I told them all about Phoenix, although cleverly editing out the part where my mother deserted us and instead sugarcoated the whole situation, simply saying that my parents 'grew apart'.

They told me how they met; Alice had moved here a few years back from Alaska with her parents, Esme and Carlisle, and of course Jasper had fallen head over heels for her immediately, probably just like every other guy at Forks High School. Apparently, it all began at some girl's birthday party, where they had spent all night catching each other's gaze across the room, bonding over music and sipping on cool drinks. It all sounded like a romanticized version of what most likely happened, which probably involved them getting drunk and hooking up. I decided not to mention it.

I came home that night thoroughly exhausted; days just seemed longer here. I quickly stripped myself of my jeans and casual long-sleeved sweater and snuggled into my comfy clothes, completely ready for a full night's sleep. But then, the thought of the following day consumed my thoughts, and my heart wouldn't stop its incessant beating. I was so nervous. Not only did it completely freak me out that I would be arriving at a new school with new people who probably wouldn't do anything but stare at me all day, but the bare thought of me having to actually make an effort and be social totally drained me.

Judging from what Jasper and Alice had said, tomorrow probably wouldn't be so bad, but I was always so nervous around people I didn't know. I figured I'd just hang around Alice and Jasper all day, although I didn't want to push my luck; being exposed to a grumpy and self-conscious me all day probably wouldn't put me in their good books. I popped my earphones into my ears and cranked up the volume on my iPod, looking for any way to escape this unwanted and uncomfortable reality that I had so unwillingly been thrust into. Here we go.