The Art of Sophistication and Cooking
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers. That goes to Nintendo. I also do not own Queen's Blade that is owned by Hobby Japan. The only characters I own are those from the Golden Land, angels from Skyworld including the royal bodyguards, Angel Assembly and archangels along with all the other angels and of course the witch hunters.
Summary: Pit wasn't as dumb as everyone made him out to be. He actually had vast knowledge of the universe that he obtained via experience or information gathering and has no problem having lectures about the many planets and races of the universe. Even if he's shown to be brighter than imagine, he is still subjected to stupid moments concerning his appetite…
Pairing: Pit/Airi, Magnus/Dunban, Robin/Shulk implied Pit/Laharl, Pit/Shulk and Lucas/Laila with one-sided Magnus/Pit
Rated: T (for teen)
Genre: Romance, Friendship, Family and Humor
Warning: Xenoblade Chronicles spoilers, swearing, sexual themes, implied character death and unintentional OOC
Well this is more of an information dump story with another attempt at another OTP of Magnus/Dunban. Enjoy! An FYI that this story takes place before Faustian Contract (the lecture that Dunban spoke about in more detail) meaning that this is around the time Magnus and Dunban fall in love.
Dunban may not look like it, but he was very interested in learning history of other cultures. He may have appeared indifferent when the cultures of other people were explained, but he listened profusely hoping to understand why these people acted the way they did. Of course, he should have focused on learning what offended others and what didn't because Dunban spent a lot of time doing just that. Its amazing he wasn't dead in the Smash Brothers Realm with that attitude where some people will be more offended than others. Like in the Pokémon universe for example…apparently insulting Lord Helix would get you hate mail and cursed. Dunban didn't know if the mob was a thing, but it was just best to never talk down on Lord Helix again just to make sure.
Besides Red, offending those from Palutena's world seemed to be a terrible idea. They had this long list of things of dos' and don'ts' that it was hard to keep up, and it wasn't helped by how they never bothered to explain to you what you did wrong to upset them. Dark Pit might have been the exception but he was just as clueless of the culture as everyone else. Apparently, Dark Pit wasn't the only angel who was ignorant to these rules, and it annoyed the hell out of Pit who felt it was his duty to teach these angels.
The problem was Pit couldn't read so expecting the light angel to teach anyone seemed out of the question. While he may not have been able to read, there were other methods that Pit could teach with as he would soon demonstrate.
Dunban just happened to be walking through the hallway on the third floor of Smash Brothers Mansion when he heard Pit giving a lecture about the universe. He found this amusing because almost everyone in the mansion knew at this point Pit couldn't read so he wondered if he was fumbling on his words.
Technically, Pit wasn't doing such a thing; rather he was just cursing at the angels who refused to listen to him.
The older Homs peaked into the room to see who would actually sit down and listen to the brunette speak to him. He was surprised that there were at least nine angels sitting down on desks that were probably transported from Skyworld to Smash Brothers Mansion for this particular purpose. The desks were laid out in a three by three manner and each desk had an angel sitting behind it. All of the angels were wearing casual clothing for once by angel standards, so they weren't suiting up for battle.
Dunban easily recognized Dark Pit in the front center desk, but he didn't look that happy sitting there. To the left of the dark angel was a young female angel with blond hair and purple eyes. She stood out as having one mechanical wing to go with a normal angel wing. Compared to Dark Pit who seemed annoyed with Pit, this girl seemed to be spacing out even though she was doing her best to listen. The angel to the right of Dark Pit was the one that Dunban recognized as Magnus' son that he lost to the Underworld. The boy went by the name of Rita and the kid had sea green hair and gold eyes like a black cat. Despite the warm weather, Rita insisted on wearing a robe like tunic more than anything and he didn't seem to be breaking a sweat at all.
The front row angels were the only ones who seemed to be paying attention. It was the other six angels that were giving Pit hell. The middle one behind Pittoo was the eleventh seat Ginger of the royal bodyguards. This was the angel who wanted to be a hero and ended up giving Pit the most problems of all the royal bodyguards. He had a unique shade of platinum for hair and big blue eyes. He wore a super hero cape behind him that Pit thought was counterproductive when Ginger was flying. He had warned him in the past that there will be a point where his wings will get tangled up due to the cape, but Ginger wasn't going to listen. On top of this one cape that implied he had a horrible fashion sense, he also wore bunny ears on his head instead of the golden laurel that most angels wore simply because he adored the now extinct moon rabbits. Finally he had a mask over his eyes that he tied to the back of his head to look cooler. Again this was just a bad choice of clothing but Pit gave up on trying to fix him a long time ago. Ginger now was leaning back in his chair and let out a small yawn when Pit went on his rant showing how bored he was with Pit giving a history lesson. To the left of Ginger was Laila's superior Nanael. The blue haired, green orbed archangel was equally disinterested and vocally complained that she already knows this stuff and he's wasting her time. To the right of Ginger was a girl with angel wings that were pointier than most and a dragon tail. She had long hair to Rapunzel length that had many shades of green all the way through and pretty green eyes. The finishing touch of this girl's hair was the cute daisy that she wore. She was in a pretty princess dress that happened to be green as well. She had her back turned to Pit not because she was being rude but because her friends behind her were the ones causing the most problems.
Behind the half-angel, half-dragon girl was another female angel with wavy red hair that was on fire and green eyes that shined brighter than most. She was the only one who brought a weapon to the room, which happened to be a Meteor Bow. Compared to everyone else, this girl looked like she just got out of bed seeing as how she was wearing her orange pajamas to Pit's lecture. She had her hand slammed on top of her bow as she was yelling at her friend sitting right next to her. This boy was an obvious ice angel with snow white hair and blue eyes. Dunban started to question these angels with wearing warm clothes during the hot weather. This kid wore a dark blue sweater with a hoodie. The boy was too busy laughing at his friend that he didn't realize he was leaning his chair back toward his quiet friend to the left of him. This guy wanted to leave the room immediately and finish reading his book…or was it that novel written by the author of the Golden Land? Either way, he wasn't interested in the chaos around him. Closer inspection of his appearance gave off the idea he was the sanest member of the four teenage angels who stood out like a sore thumb. He was a brunette with the eye color to match the shade of his hair and freckles plastered all over his face. He didn't look healthy at all, but Dunban immediately thought this kid was the equivalent to Rob seeing how frail he looked.
"Can you guys knock it off?!" The brunette yelled as he slammed his book. "I'm trying to read!"
"You should be listening to my lecture!" Pit shouted back looking ready to throw something at the teenage angels in the back.
"Your Russian accent is slipping, Wendy." Was all the white haired angel said with a Cheshire grin.
"Windie is my name, Blizzard! Get it right and stop flirting with Sunny!"
"Why would I even flirt with the wild child…"
"Don't ignore me!" Sunny screeched as she was ready to strangle Blizzard for insulting her appearance.
"Please stop fighting…" The half-dragon murmured.
It was then did Pit decide to slam his hand so hard on the wall that it got everyone's attention due to how loud it was. He was desperately trying to keep his temper in check, but he was at his wits end.
"Can I continue my lecture…I didn't allow you four ungrateful brats to be here in the mansion just so you can mess around…" The brunette growled wanting to just take his own bow and shoot them all.
"…He mad." Ginger joked and that only received a glare from Pit as he made an "Eeep" sound and remained quiet afterwards.
The four adolescents had the same sentiment and settled down so Pit wouldn't attack them or worse…report their poor behavior to his or her parents.
"Now where was I? Oh yes…" Pit had to recollect his thoughts on what he was talking about before continuing. "As you know, besides the Classic Realm, there is the Alien Realm, the Witch Hunter Realm, the Worldly Realm and the Outer Realm. There are more species than just us angels, demons, aliens and humans. You already see that with everyone here in Smash. The Outer Realm has almost everyone from the Nintendo universes there with the sole exception being Bionis...and that place is in the Alien Realm. The Smash Brothers Realm is specifically smacked in between the Alien Realm and the Classic Realm. This is why Master Hand specifically needs to have a connection in the Outer Realm to allow other people here since we have it easy in getting here."
"Shulk too?" Dark Pit asked.
"Apparently not seeing as how it took three whole seasons for them to finally be connected here…and to the universe in general. Regardless…the Worldly Realm is where the other Gods are that aren't Lady Palutena, Hades, Viridi, Dyntos and Ceres. I mean…Lady Palutena said Persephone, Apollo and Artemis used to be in this realm too before they bit the dust 2000 years ago."
"And by others you mean…" Dark Pit had a bad time remembering all the Gods since he never considered it important, but seeing as how he never met them here…
"Zeus, Hera and Poseidon mainly. Hestia was here in the past, but then she died and there's only three now. Ares lives in the Witch Hunter Realm and Hermes tends to be hanging out in the Outer Realm more than staying by Zeus' side. Oh yeah! The Goddess of Chaos, Eris is in charge of Planet Chaos. Planet Chaos is technically the area that Zeus, Hera and Poseidon are also in charge of…its chaotic obviously. That's where all the dragons, the bird people that are not angels and the Merfolk reside. They're all dangerous obviously…and kind of the reason why you don't see too many in the Classic Realm. The bird people are under Zeus' order specifically and the Merfolk are under Poseidon. The dragons do their own thing, but I think the leader is a Guardian…so that would make him under…Ceres…"
"You sound so unsure Pitstain." The dark angel teased seeing that Pit stuttered quite a bit on that explanation.
"Hey…I don't know dragon culture. You're going to ask someone else for that. I mean…we can ask Raine…since her father screwed a dragon…"
Raine wasn't amused with how Pit worded it. Blizzard snickered at the green haired half-dragon causing her to hiss at him. When she hissed, her long dragon tongue came out.
"Yeah…let's not…" Wendy responded quickly. "What about Planet Order?"
"Oh! Planet Order is technically under Palutena's rule in a sense…like…the Goddess of Justice…Astraea…I think she's in charge of the Dominion angels…but I don't know if the Dominion angels are Valkyries…" Pit had to stop and think for real this time. The light angel honestly didn't know much about the angel hierarchy after a certain extent. There were the angels at the lowest portion, the archangels that were number eight and the Angel Assembly was classified as number three (Throne). The Seraph in Celestia was obviously number one and then Cherub who was in charge of the duels that occur between the angels was number two. Laila had told him that the Head Angel in her world was named Principality…and that meant the Head Angel was number seven on the angel hierarchy. That left four, five and six unaccounted for in Pit's mind.
"Wait…the Valkyries are related to us?" Nanael asked in bewilderment. "I thought they were humans!"
"I…don't know…" Pit confessed. "We see them as demons all the time…and apparently they're humans and angels too but…"
"You lost me." Dark Pit said simply.
"Sorry…I should just continue about who lives on Planet Order." Pit cleared his throat before continuing. "Planet Order is the realm where Phoenixes, the fairies, the elves, the dwarves and the trolls live. You could say because the gate of the Norse Realm is there that it's justified that all of those species are there but…" Again Pit caused before continuing. "I just know the Valkyries dominate that area…the ones that survived Ragnarok anyway."
"Oh…Ragnarok already happened…" Wendy commented.
"Well yeah…that's why there are no Norse Gods is at the God meetings. We can all thank Loki for that."
It was amazing how much information Pit had. Dunban was very much absorbed into this lecture, but he was unaware that others were listening in that made themselves more obvious than him. It was enough for Pit to stop talking and glare at the door.
"Shulk, why are you here?!"
Dunban was just as surprised and ended up coming out of hiding…along with a few others. Dunban raised his eyebrows at the people behind him.
"Magnus…when were you going to say you were behind me?"
"Ha ha…I was wondering when you were going to notice me."
"Riki wanted to know what Dundun was doing." The little Heropon stated while on Magnus' shoulder.
On Shulk's side, Rob was trailing behind him interested in the lecture, and very much frustrated that the blond couldn't keep himself in hiding.
"Oh come on, Pit! You can let some of us hear what you're saying."
"No! The lecture is done!" Pit shouted flustered that he didn't notice how many people were outside listening. "Go away! All you angel brats, go!"
And just like that the lecture ended and the teenage angels were so fast to rush out like it was the last day of school. Rita wanted to speak to his father but Ginger had already grabbed his arm and flew off Sonic speed. Nanael got up and stretched before letting out a yawn.
"Pit, you need to make things more interesting. An archangel like me needs something to pass the time." She mocked before leaving.
The light angel flipped the blue haired archangel off before looking toward Laila.
"Laila, want to hang out with me and the others?" Dark Pit asked.
"Pittoo…" Pit began but the dark angel casually dismissed him.
"Pitstain, I'll tell you what I learned later. I need a break. You need one too since you can't remember all the details about the angels."
Pit didn't take that insult well, but Dark Pit had already grabbed Laila by the hand and led her out of the room. The light angel didn't like the dialogue he heard before they left.
"Laila, let me introduce you to Lucas. He really likes you."
"Umm…I don't think…uh…"
"You'll get along fine."
Pit sighed in defeat realizing that he can't stop the matchmaking that's doomed to fail (since its Dark Pit trying to do it and add Reyn and Lucina into the equation and Lucas was going to cry more than he did in his world). He glared at everyone who was standing at the door.
"Can you leave?! There isn't a lecture now!"
"You're no fun." Shulk joked before apologizing to Rob for messing things up. "Rob, don't give me that look. I'll treat you for my insolence."
"Insolence you say…" Rob murmured but allowed Shulk to take him out. It wouldn't stop him from sneaking in tomorrow to learn about the universe.
Dunban and Riki would leave too making Pit think that there wasn't anyone else. Once he was certain that there was no one left, he allowed himself to relax.
"Why am I even doing this…" Pit asked himself out loud. "I'm not cut to be a teacher…I should just ask Sun-Wong to do it…at least they'll listen to him…"
"Hey, why you so sullen, Angel face?"
Pit jumped recognizing that he wasn't alone after all.
"Oh…Magnus…hi…"
Magnus caught Pit attempting to play off that he wasn't tired or troubled immediately after seeing his huge figure.
"What do you need?" Pit asked with a forced smile.
"…Angel face…you can tell me what's on your mind."
"What? There's nothing wrong!" Pit declared as he pumped his fist in the air. "I'm just hungry."
"Well that's good. I made you some pudding…"
"PUDDING?!"
That was an honest response. Magnus chuckled as he revealed that he had a bowl of vanilla pudding in his hand with a spoon in the bowl. Pit happily took the bowl and thanked Magnus before trying to eat it.
"Angel face, you going to tell me what's on your mind? It's not every day you try to look smart in front of everyone."
"Oh come off it, Magnus. I'm just babysitting those brats." Pit snarked as he felt his body go to heaven on the first bite of the vanilla pudding. "No, I'm not talking about Rita or Laila. I'm talking about those four weather angels. They are such slackers that it's hard to get their attention. Their parents dumped them on me so they won't be lollygagging in Skyworld…but…" He sighed thinking about today's events. "They are out of control…but it looks like I'll have to talk to their parents about that since I'm not going to sugarcoat their disobedience."
"Oh, that explains it." The raven haired human stated. "You're not really good with children, Angel face…and while I admit I don't give you enough credit for the amount of knowledge you contain in that small brain of yours…I find it odd how the topic is about the Underworld…"
"That's for Pittoo's sake." The angel captain answered. "I can't be watching him forever, so he needs to know these things to avoid any problems in the future…and I don't want kids…or want to marry kids…" Pit shook his head at that last statement. "So much of a hassle. Then again…I would love to adopt Laila, but Nanael wants to be a bitch and keep her under her wing. Such a waste…"
Despite Pit's complaining, Magnus noted that a particular subject specifically "marrying kids" distracted the brunette. Magnus had an idea what he was talking about and it made his heart pound to the point that he thought it would stop. He observed Pit's body closely to see if anything else gave away his current worry. He was indeed shaking and having a hard time holding onto his spoon. The pudding was already devoured and Pit had placed attempted to place the bowl on the table. His face was as green as Yoshi when he could no longer hold onto the bowl and dropped it and the spoon the ground. Good thing the bowl was made out of plastic or the glass would have shattered everywhere.
"A-Angel face?!"
"Guhh…my stomach…suddenly hurts…" Pit murmurs weakly as he felt himself clutching his stomach in pain. "Magnus…what did you…"
Magnus wasn't fast enough to catch Pit from falling to the ground. Once the angel hit his head on the floor, he slipped into a state of unconsciousness.
No matter how many times Magnus apologized to Pit, the captain refused to take anything from the human male after that and putting his cooking in the same category as Palutena. Magnus legit didn't understand how something he cooked often ended up sending Pit to Dr. Mario. However, all it took was Peach coming into the infirmary and showing the milk carton that Magnus used to make the pudding was two months past its expiration date. At first Magnus was confused on how milk that was fine a few days ago was suddenly spoiled. Peach had to explain that apparently K and the other Villagers had swapped out a lot of the food with something from Smashville and K ended up putting spoiled milk back into the refrigerator. Isabelle was scolding him now about attempting to get others sick, but because it was Pit, he would get over it in a couple of hours.
Now Pit wasn't even going to listen to Magnus on why he put spoiled milk in delicious pudding without tasting the food first. The mercenary huffed at how childish Pit was being. Normally, the white angel would be able to endure food poisoning like this with only an upset stomach later in the evening. Perhaps the stress from having to lecture the angels was getting to him and lowered the normally high immune system that he had. Regardless, Pit tended to be Magnus' taste tester. Now he would have to find someone else temporary before Pit got over the fact that Magnus accidentally poisoned him.
This is why Magnus ended up turning to Dunban for assistance. Riki would have been the better option, but seeing as the little Nopon would eat anything, he wouldn't be able to honestly tell him if the food was good. The samurai in comparison was picky with his food therefore Magnus would be able to get a better evaluation from the younger male.
Dunban wasn't a sweet person. He told Magnus that in advance. The mercenary was fine with this since he didn't intend to make sweets for Pit for a while if Pit feared to eat anything with dairy products in it for the time being.
"And yet…despite knowing that Pit will probably avoid anything with dairy products…you still intend to bake a cake…" Dunban murmured with a sigh seeing all the ingredients laid out in front of them.
"It's a peach cake for one. Two, this cake is not for Angel face." Magnus reminded him.
"Then who is the cake for? Dark Pit?"
"It's for anyone who wants it…but Devil face will probably take it…or that Reyn guy that's always with him will…"
Dunban frowned at the mention of the redhead. He didn't understand why Reyn was hanging out at the mansion as of late. Reyn was always hanging out with Dark Pit, Lucina and Lucas but specifically Dark Pit. He wondered who was helping out Sharla back on Bionis if Reyn was messing around with the younger fighters here.
"As for Pit, I'm sure he won't mind a blueberry peach fruit salad. This will be way healthier than the pudding anyway."
"I'm more concerned at the excess amount of peaches here. It's almost like you're making all of this for Princess Peach."
Magnus laughed at the suggestion that he was making this for peach seeing as how the kitchen was filled with nothing but fruits. Peaches were the most abundant of the most. Sure the hot weather guaranteed that fruits and vegetables would grow really well but…
"Oh, this is the apology from the Villager children for causing me problems." Magnus explained. "They're strange like that."
"…Are you sure the fruits aren't rotten?"
"That's why you're here. You can check them all to make sure, but seeing how these peaches are in perfect condition, I doubt they would be rotten."
It was carelessness like this that got Pit poisoned in the first place. Dunban sighed and let out a small grumble about how he doesn't like fruit as he grabbed one of the perfect peaches and took a bite. His eyes sparkled for a moment but chose to keep his posture in front of the older male who went straight to working on the fruit salad. Dunban couldn't help in the kitchen besides be a food tester. Not only did he have a bad arm, but also he was terrible in the kitchen. He was better off just commentating and keeping the older male company than lift a spoon and risk spilling whatever amount was needed for the recipe.
"You liking the taste, Samurai?"
"The peaches are…better than expected."
"Man, are you picky?"
Dunban rolled his eyes as he snatched another one from the basket. He needed to be careful to not eat the whole basket in Magnus' presence. The last thing he needed to do was get teased for eating all the fruits. Not like it would stop Magnus from doing so.
"Samurai, try not to eat all of them. I would like to save some for Rita."
"I only had two just now…don't make it seem like I'll eat all the fruit in sight like Yoshi."
"You would. The fruits are very rich in flavor."
"Oh?"
Dunban considered just taking the entire basket to Rita before his stomach got to all the peaches. Two ended up becoming four and combine that with Magnus using the peaches for both the cake and the fruit salad reduced the chance of the nature angel actually getting a taste of the ripe fruit.
So much for saving this basket for Rita… Dunban thought darkly to himself as he could no longer resist the temptation. When the peaches were gone from that particular basket, he went to the perfect apples. Compared to the different shade that the perfect peach had, the perfect apple was just shiny all around. He grinned taking one from the basket.
"Samurai…what did I just say about the basket…" Magnus growled before finishing up with the fruit salad and going straight to putting all the ingredients together to making the peach cake. When he turned around, his eyes widened. "Don't touch the apples!"
Magnus had to drop everything and seize Dunban's hand so he wouldn't take a bite of the forbidden fruit. He let out another sigh seeing the reaction Dunban had.
"I know Fiona is the best Villager when it comes to gardening and harvesting, but please don't let that eat the entire kitchen."
Dunban didn't retort this time. A small blush threatened to creep up on his face realizing he was causing some trouble for the older male. He was a picky eater, but these fruits that you could easily find on Bionis were out of this world…
"I can give you a taste for the fruit salad before I give it to Pit, but that's it." Magnus had a stupid idea and voiced it. He would regret it though. "That is of course if you get on all fours and beg for me to give you something delicious…then I'll reconsider."
Magnus said this as Midna and Zelda were passing by the kitchen. Dunban froze seeing the evil look Midna had before continuing her conversation with the Queen of Hyrule who seemed to miss what Magnus had said in that moment.
"Idiot…" Dunban mumbled as he pulled away. "I won't touch anything else. In fact, I can at least give the basket of peaches to Rita now so I won't be tempted."
"Good. Let me just put the cake in the oven and then we can go see those angels."
The samurai nodded his head in agreement as he used his good hand to lift up the light peach basket that has yet to be touched. He shook his head in annoyance how he was letting himself be carried away in front of the older human. Perhaps not being on Bionis was allowing him to act in a way he wouldn't dare to in front of Shulk and the others back at home.
Once Dunban heard the oven door close, Magnus went over to the fruit salad with a fork in hand. Poking at the peach, he walked over to the younger male.
"Open wide."
"Wait…what?! Mmm…"
Magnus didn't wait to shove the peach down Dunban's mouth…not like Dunban minded it a bit when he got a taste of heaven in one of its perfected forms. The mercenary noted that the raven haired Homs' face melted when he was chewing it. If this were an anime, he would probably have hearts hovering over his head showing how much he enjoyed the taste.
"…I don't think I need your opinion. Your face says it all."
"Hey…I still think it's too sweet…" Dunban muttered weakly before quickly turning around to exit the kitchen. Magnus noted that his ears were red and smoke was coming out of his head like a kettle. "Come on. You're wasting time!"
Magnus chuckled as he followed after the Homs. The mercenary didn't know why as of late he enjoyed teasing his younger friend. Maybe making fun of Chrom was too boring now and getting a rise out of Dunban made him shiver in anticipation.
Dunban wasn't going to take the teasing face down though. He still had some tricks up his sleeves. It wouldn't take long for Magnus to catch up to Dunban before the samurai asked him a rather personal question.
"So, are you doing this to woo Pit? I didn't think little boys were your type."
"Angel face would kill you if you said that in front of him." Magnus grumbled. "In human years, he would still be younger than me, but at least I know I'm not a pedophile for attempting to pursue him."
"Why?"
"…Probably because he takes very good care of Rita…and Rita likes Pit a lot."
Dunban could understand the logic to some extent but…
"So…your romantic interest in Pit is because you want Rita to be happy…"
"Oh don't get me wrong Samurai. I like Pit too but…" He stopped speaking as they neared the lecture hall. "Oh, looks like your kid is in there too…"
Dunban flinched hearing Shulk raise his voice and to Pit of all people. Well…it actually shouldn't be a surprise. Pit made it clear that he hated aliens and constantly belittled the Homs for being classified under that race. Dunban had to wonder why it was just him, Shulk and Reyn that got the full blunt of his racism yet obvious aliens like Kirby was adored by the light angel.
Glancing into the room, one would immediately notice the four teenage angels that were there previously did not show up. It was only Dark Pit, Rita, Ginger, Nanael and Laila as the angels who were attending Pit's lecture. It seemed that Shulk along with the Robin twins came in to learn about the universe from Pit. Apparently bringing up the subject of the aliens was enough for Pit and Shulk to argue with each other and ignore the point of the lecture.
"I think you guys should stop fighting…" Robin told the two Smashers with a sigh. "I think we're more interested in unbiased information from the textbooks instead of your opinion about aliens. That goes for you too Shulk."
Shulk wasn't pleased with how callous Robin was acting.
"Excuse me? Pit is constantly insulting the people of Bionis and me. You can't lecture on something you have no knowledge of! If he just sat down with the people of Bionis instead of stereotyping all aliens as evil, then it wouldn't be an issue!"
"Well excuse me for giving you the history of aliens for more than 2000 years and you getting offended with how the universe sees them." Pit mocked. "If you want to change the opinion of others, you're going to have to do it yourself. You're capable of doing so Shulk, so stop whining to me about how aliens are!"
The seating arrangement was different due to Pit and Shulk arguing. Unlike his sister, Rob had taken a notebook and a pen and went to sit in the spot where Rita originally sat to look over the notes that Dark Pit was taking. Rob didn't expect Dark Pit to have a notebook too given how he didn't have one before.
"You seem to have more notes than what Pit has spoken about." Rob commented. "Mind if I look?"
"Yeah…but I admit I don't know when I wrote these…" Dark Pit responded as he handed the black notebook with the golden butterfly on the cover to the male tactician. "I mean…I write a lot, but Pit doesn't give me credit for it…it's just that these things are just odd to me…"
Rob opened the book and sure enough, he knew what Dark Pit was talking about. On some notes, there was a date stamp on it that was after the current one along with a huge number at the top. Some of the notes he had drawings of the icons that represented the Smashers by franchise on them and all of these arrows pointing to them. These seemed to be notes on what to avoid or what to expect. There was a huge red X on top of this Minotaur drawing and Dark Pit seemed to add to the markings with scribbling it with his black pen.
"I see what you mean. Dates that have yet to happen yet…I wouldn't be surprised though if someone you know added them when you weren't looking."
"Probably…but at least I got all the notes down about all the Netherworld known so far in the universe."
"Uh huh…"
It was then did Magnus and Dunban make their presence known. Rita stood up from the seat where Raine sat a few days ago to greet his father.
"Father!" He hummed. "Did you bring something to eat?"
Magnus smiled seeing the little angel trot over to him.
"Of course. What kind of dad would I be if I didn't?"
"I'm carrying it…" Dunban commented to himself more than the human male, but Rita was a smart kid and knew that the basket was for him.
Seeing Rita being handled a basket of fresh fruit made Pit stop his debate with Shulk to skip over to Magnus.
"Did you bring me something that won't poison me?"
"Angel face, I already told you that K swapped the milk carton with a spoiled one. Here is something that won't get you sick."
Pit shot his head back at the fruit salad at first, but seeing as fighting with Shulk wore him out…he would eat anything at this point. When Magnus handed the light angel a plastic fork to eat with, he hesitantly poked at the peach before sticking the fork into the ripe fruit and plopping it into his mouth. Pit wore the same expression Dunban had not too long ago and squealed.
"Oh, this is so good! Magnus what happened that day when you nearly killed me?"
"Were you not listening to me?!"
Dunban allowed Rita to run back to his seat. The nature angel was quick to share his food with the other angels there. Nanael and Ginger proved to be rude with how they were demanding the kid feed them, but Rita was a pushover, so he would hand them more peaches than needed.
"So…" Dunban began as he slowly walked over to Shulk who continued to pout after Pit decided to ignore him. "What was the topic before you got into a fight again?"
"…It was about the other hells that exist in the universe." Shulk explained. "There is more than just the Underworld where most of the souls go."
"There's the Underworld that is considered the capital." Robin continued. "That is the one where Hades rules and in the Underworld lies Tartarus where the worse criminals go. From there, there is the Gates of Hell that hold specific people in like Tartarus and it's near the Prinny Factory. Those who don't become Prinnies get thrown into the Gates of Hell where they rot for eternity for not being useful to anyone. There is also Inferno and Limbo but…"
"Robin, Limbo is the first circle in the Gates of Hell." Rob brought up immediately causing her to blush realizing that he just corrected her.
"I knew that! A-Anyways…from there the Netherworld is branched out that you could say there are more hells than the five heavens."
"And that's not even going to the hells from the other realms." Rob added. "Pit brought up the Norse hell and the Shinto hell as examples that Hades apparently doesn't have control of all the dead souls in other dimensions."
"There are probably more rulers." Pit interrupted as he was quick to scarf down all the peaches in his fruit salad. "According to Rosalina, the universe is pretty endless so there are probably other cultures that have their own Gods. Of course, if they're not part of the God Meeting, then it won't matter." Pit leered at Shulk when he said this and the blond immediately glared back.
"It's almost like you want me to become like your Goddess."
"I'm just saying that you would probably have more authority over me if you actually attended and not cry like a little bitch when overwhelmed."
There was a long pause now. Laila stood up wanting to stop a fight from breaking out again. Shulk was tempted to grab the Monado and cut the light angel down, but resisted the urge to. He let out a huge, frustrated sigh as a result.
"…I'll consider it." Shulk finally said. "But I'm warning you Pit. The day I have more power over you, I'm going to make you eat those words."
Pit shivered in fear at Shulk's tone…before he smiled in glee. "Really? I'm looking forward to it."
Dunban felt like the conversation was beyond what anyone in the room could imagine. They seemed to be fighting over something more than the usual racist spat…and it worried the raven haired Homs that he wouldn't be able to stop Shulk should he really take up the offer…
From then on, Pit's lectures have gone more smoothly mainly because Pit actually went to Skyworld to complain to the parents of the teenagers and forced them to come back and behave. Without anyone being rowdy, it was actually easier to get the point across. The light angel also avoided the topic of talking about aliens now despite nothing was stopping him from slandering the Homs even more. Finally, he would allow any of the Smashers to come in to learn if they wanted but they would have to stand since the seats he brought were reserved for the angels after all.
Shulk probably didn't cause any real problems for Pit was probably due to Rob who didn't want him fighting again. Being as unbiased as possible was important during these lectures and as someone who always wanted to learn, he didn't want anything political being involved in his learning. Robin couldn't care as much and dropped out of listening to Pit as a result. The female tactician made an excuse that she'll just look through Rob's notes when it is all said and done, but Rob knew she was being indolent to the whole thing now that she got the "basic" information.
And Pit's topic was more detail of how the Underworld functioned and why it was so dangerous for angels to go alone. While he was going into detail about other races previously, this time he was focusing on specific demon types to avoid. The Minotaurs were the first thing brought up and Pit hammered it to the angels repeatedly that they cannot challenge them on a one on one fight and to never be alone with them.
"You can't trust them!" Pit declared as he shivered thinking of a certain Minotaur from his dark past. "Just fight them from afar. Most of them are dumb brutes, but the few smart ones will use that stereotype to trap you. Never let them lead you into a labyrinth alone, and if you end up in one…you have to follow the yellow string on the ground. Never let the Minotaurs impale you with their horns. They have a special power to disable the part they stab from ever functioning again…" Pit scowled when he said that. "…Not even the Golden Land can heal those wounds."
"Why is that?" Rita asked innocently. "Is it because of the Great Evil?"
"…Probably Rita."
Nanael almost foolishly asked if Pit couldn't fly because of a Minotaur encounter…but seeing how serious he looked realized that she would probably regret it if she did, so she held her tongue.
"Umm…and don't let Minotaurs flash you too." Pit added almost silently. "It's…not pretty."
Blizzard broke out into a fit of laughter at the image while Wendy slammed his head into the book he was reading. His face was red at the thought.
"Ha ha ha, Pit, its almost like you were on the receiving end of one!"
"BLIZZARD!" Raine and Sunny shouted as they immediately tried to shut him up.
Pit quickly changed the subject instead of addressing the issue.
"A-Anyways…the best method of getting rid of Minotaurs is decapitation, so make sure to sneak up on them from behind and kill them…never take them head on…"
Pit then went back to the topic of the Underworld explaining how the ruler of the Underworld and their mental state changes the image of the capital. When Medusa was in control, things were considered orderly and that was mainly due to the fact that Medusa had ruled side by side with Palutena in the past and that part of her could never really fade away even if she commanded demons instead of angels. When Hades was in control when Pit fought him not too long ago, the entire region was red and chaotic. The light angel knew though that now that his father Daedalus came back to Hades' side that the Underworld has become purple. From what Palutena had explained to him, when the Underworld is purple, everything stabilizes and the need to actually deal with Hades decreases. Pit never voiced this to the group of angels in front of him because he still refused to believe that someone like Hades would see his father as a friend he cherished. Daedalus was still irredeemable in Pit's eyes, so being forced to see him should the time to talk to Hades comes up will be incredibly painful.
"Pitstain, I got a question." Dark Pit began.
The light angel was annoyed with his usual nickname but let the dark angel continue.
"So if Hades is in control…how come there are all of these Netherworld rulers? Most of them claim that they don't serve Hades but…"
"The demons are like the Angel Assembly members." Pit explained. "They serve under Hades and obey him when they really need to. Otherwise, they do their own thing and diss him on a daily basis. The Witch Hunter Realm is similar with how they treat Ares." Pit folded his arms trying to think of an exception to the rule and then remembered who exactly fit the description. "There is an exception though. The Hades Party specifically named their realm after Hades. Compared to the other demons, they worship him and will more likely obey him should Hades ask them for help. I think Hugo is in charge of that region…or was it Tyrant Valvatorez that defeated him…or…did some idiot take control of the seat…"
"I'm pretty sure President Axel is the new president there." Nanael commented. "He's incompetent as fuck. We could easily take that section of the Netherworld as ours."
"Nanael…don't get greedy." Pit reminded her. "As much as I would love to beat up on some demons, we don't really have time to be picking fights with them at this point. You know…because of the preparation for the Great Evil…"
"Yeah, yeah. I'm just saying that things will be easier if he wasn't the president."
"…I'll send Valerie to deal with him, but I swear that guy gets angry whenever I bring that up."
Dunban didn't realize how all of this information about the Underworld would be useful to him later. All he knew was that whenever the lecture was done and the angels and Smashers left, Magnus would show up with the food for Pit. As time went on, Pit had started rejecting Magnus' food due to not being hungry or came up with some excuse to not eat it. It wasn't due to the food poisoning though. Magnus wasn't as defensive now as he started handing the food over to Dunban. After more complaints that Dunban didn't like fruits, Magnus started making food catered to the samurai specifically instead of Pit should the angel continue to refuse the offer.
Dunban actually enjoyed this change, but wondered if it was because Magnus was feeling discouraged of the white angel not reading between the lines. Pit was more concerned with trying to hammer all the important information to the angels…specifically Pittoo that it wouldn't be in his best interest to pay attention to his human friend.
"Pit probably has someone else giving him food when nobody's is looking." Dunban had to tease seeing Magnus make something specifically for Pit again. "Your efforts are probably being wasted."
The raven haired Homs only grasped that he went too far when Magnus didn't have a snarky comment to throw back at his younger male companion. Instead, he came up with the excuse that this was for Rita even though the sea green haired angel rarely had an appetite in the first place. Worried, Dunban decided to see if his own words actually were true…and was sorely disappointed they were when he waited around the evening to check up on Pit who was still in the lecture hall with just Shulk.
"Pit, besides your twin, why are you trying to hard to give these angels this information?" Shulk asked in a rather condescending tone that Dunban had never heard him use. "You know at the end of the day, your effort is wasted on them. They will die."
"…Your vision isn't always right." Pit murmured weakly as he turned his back on the Monado boy. "…Rita, Ginger, Laila and Nanael will be fine…I'm just trying my best to prevent those teenagers from meeting a gruesome end sooner than later."
"…I know I say the future can be changed," Shulk began as he went over to Pit and set his hand on his shoulder, "but…this is not one of those things. The Golden Land…no…Raven has specifically stated that their fate is set in stone. Xavia said the same thing…"
"I know but…" Pit clenched his fist trying to maintain his cool. "I don't want to be blamed for them dying again. I know that one time it was all my fault they died but this time…I don't want them dying like that…so the least I can do is warn them in advance…"
Shulk understood why Pit would want to save the lives of these younger angels. That one timeline Pit had seen their corpses was too traumatizing and Pit was taking as many precautions as he could to prevent that. Unfortunately, because Shulk's visions were even stronger now that he remembered everything like Pit, this was one thing that was set in stone.
"…I'll leave you alone." Shulk spoke to him as he released his grip on the brunette. "Make sure to eat…though I expect she'll end up coming to see you anyway."
The light angel nodded his head as he allowed Shulk to leave him alone. Dunban didn't know why he felt the need to hide from his adopted son, but seeing Shulk act this strange, he felt like he couldn't approach him.
"I know you're there." Shulk said simply immediately causing Dunban's heart to stop.
Fortunately, he wasn't talking to him. He was speaking to someone else who made her presence known. Dunban only got a glimpse of her and was surprised that it was a wraith dressed up as a French maid. He only saw the back of her, so all he saw was that her hair was red and tied in twintails. She held a basket of food that was obviously for Pit seeing as how it was almost the same thing Magnus was giving him.
"You're getting better at sensing my presence." She spoke with a rather arrogant tone.
"No, you're just getting rusty." Shulk responded as he walked right passed her without another word.
The wraith sighed waiting for Shulk to descend down the stairs before going into the lecture hall where Pit was still standing in the same place.
"I'm here Pit with your food."
"Thanks Airi. Just leave it there."
Airi did just that setting the basket on the nearest desk before walking straight over to the light angel. She placed her hands on to her hip as she shook her head in annoyance.
"You know, you should stop hitting on your twin, your rival and that other big guy and focus on your most precious person."
Pit flinched being reminded of his romantic woes. He snarled as he immediately went over to the basket to grab an apple from it. Airi sighed again hearing the light angel making loud chomping noises when biting into the apple. He just wanted her to leave with his rude manners, but she was used to them at this point that she wasn't going to go away should he make un-angel like noises when eating.
"I'm serious. Multiple times I tell you that it's wrong to be going after me instead of your fiancé, but you won't listen."
"Why must this always be the conversation when you show up, Airi?" Pit asked rather frustrated with this topic. "I'm not interested in an engagement I didn't start."
"…You can't hide it from him forever." Airi warned him. "The prince is going to find out…and when he finds out for how long…he's going to come here and attack you."
"Oh that's fine. I don't mind having to fight him."
"…You don't get it. Should you fight him…you will be declaring war on the Netherworld. Your marriage with him will guarantee that none of this will happen."
"But I don't like having a child as a lover!" Pit shouted as he accidentally crushed the apple in his hand from the building rage inside of him. "There's at least a 500 year gap between us! I may not like the angel laws, but one of them specifically brings up the age of consent! The last thing I want is to be seen as a pedophile to them…"
"But it doesn't apply to demons…"
"I'm sure it does…either way…I need to be a beacon of hope to the angels in these times. The last thing I need is an underage demon brat by my side."
"And I'm any better?" Airi asked staring coldly into his eyes. "I already like someone else who also works under the prince. I cannot say anything to him until I know for certain that you have stopped pursuing me. I have done nothing for you, but hide the truth of the eventual marriage."
"…Not like it matters when the Great Evil shows up anyway…" Pit murmured darkly.
"What?"
"Anyways…I get your point with Magnus…I'll probably stop now before I hurt him."
"Good."
"Also, I'm not hitting on Pittoo or that stupid Homs…that's all in your head."
"…Perhaps."
Airi questioned how much of her words got through to Pit especially since he had no problem getting up in her face. She blushed at the closeness as she tried to look away.
"Pit…for the love of…"
"Airi…I can't…"
Dunban heard enough at this point. He may not have understood the entire dialogue exchange going on between them, but he knew that once the two started to make out when they were certain no one was around that it was his cue to leave before getting caught. Pit wasn't trying to hurt Magnus, but Dunban knew he went out of line and needed to find his older male companion now…
Dunban wasted no time to search for Magnus. A part of him felt like he went out of line for teasing him about how he had no hope being with the angel captain. If he never had a chance, it was best to tell him now.
It was funny how Dunban knew where Magnus hung out in the mansion. Out of all the places to go, Magnus would hang out in the garden. He could have gone to the game room, brought out the pool table and played some billiards, but the older Homs notes how Magnus preferred the quiet just as much as the competition. In the garden, he could sit on a bench and listen to the Pikmin scurry around the area as well as the fountain water shooting up in the air.
The mercenary didn't move from his spot even if he noticed the presence of the samurai entering the area. Magnus was good at recognizing people by their footsteps and Dunban had this cautious way of walking when approaching someone.
"Samurai, do you need something?" Magnus asked bluntly without looking his way. "I figured you would be sleeping. Then again, it's a nice night to be out walking."
"There will be a full moon soon I hear." Dunban added with a smirk. "Mind if I take a seat?"
Magnus just shrugged his shoulders as he moved over so Dunban could sit next to him. The Homs expected the muscular male to start a conversation almost immediately after but remained silent. When the older male didn't speak, it only caused Dunban to tense up. The samurai knew that he needed to apologize first before any other dialogue could take place.
"Magnus…I…am sorry."
"Hmm? For what?"
"…Pit has someone else…and I teased you that you had no hope of hooking up with him."
Magnus flinched before immediately laughing. The laugh came off as hollow and forced almost as if Dunban hit a nail.
"No…I already knew he wasn't interested." Magnus began before he frowned. "Still…angel face knows that his relationship with that maid is not going to work when he's engaged."
"I see…wait…what?"
"Angel face is engaged to some Underworld prince. He'll casually bring it up every now and then, but seeing as how he'll date the maid who works for the prince to spite him…that tells you how little he cares about the engagement."
"And Pit…doesn't break it off?" Dunban asked feeling sorry for the Netherworld prince that he never met.
"He can't. His Goddess and the demon prince's father apparently set this up before the prince was even born…so of course angel face isn't going to take the kid's feelings into consideration…if the kid even knows about the engagement."
"It sounds like a disaster waiting to happen."
Magnus nodded his head in agreement. "I don't really want to be there when the fall out happens, but if I can get to a safer place…I'll be having popcorn."
Now both of them were laughing at the absurdity of the conversation. Dunban wanted to talk about his teasing but it ended up being about Pit's failed love life and how things weren't going to be good in the future. Once the two stopped cackling to each other, things became dead silent again besides the previous noises. The Rock Pikmin in the garden were the noisiest with how they were banging themselves against the fountain for no apparent reason.
"Besides…I think my heart went to someone else during this small time frame…" Magnus stated.
That caught Dunban's attention. "Hmm?"
Magnus at first glanced toward Dunban wanting to say something to him. Dunban found a better fascination staring at the moon in that moment. His heart was pounding waiting for Magnus' response. This feeling was foreign to the Homs male and he questioned while he suddenly felt flustered. The feeling might have been mutual as Magnus turned away from the younger male to look off in the opposite direction of where Dunban was sitting.
"…It's nothing." Magnus spoke.
"Oh…"
Dunban didn't realize how disappointed he sounded. He wanted Magnus to say something else then ending the sentence abruptly. The mercenary stood up from the bench to stretch.
"…Samurai…want me to teach you how to cook?"
Well that was completely random and not what Dunban was expecting.
"What?"
"Well…you complained a lot about not being able to cook so…I'm willing to help…"
Dunban smirked as he stood up. "Do you have a death wish or something?"
"Perhaps. I want to see if your cooking is just as bad as Pit's Goddess."
"I am most certain I am worse. Fiora won't let me in the kitchen for a reason."
"Really? I thought it was because of your handicap…and that you would probably throw anything into the pot that is deemed edible."
Magnus was issuing a challenge at this point. Dunban should not be using his bad arm, but this was too good to pass up. He wanted the older human to eat those words so badly.
Dunban's heart was still pounding but it wasn't as nerve wrecking as it was a couple of minutes ago. He stood up wondering why he was anticipating cooking when it wasn't something he cared for on Bionis.
"Well if you're watching me, you won't have to worry about me sneaking in anything you won't like." The Homs teased as he immediately clung to Magnus without realizing the implication of his actions.
At first Magnus flinched at Dunban's contact, but ended up relaxing and later sighing at how Dunban was just trying to mess with him.
"Your intentions are showing, Samurai."
"Hmm?"
"N-Nothing…just let go. I don't want anyone to see us…"
Dunban wasn't listening at this point. If Magnus were going to walk, then he would drag him to the kitchen at this hour. At this point, Magnus closed his mouth realizing he wasn't going to get the Homs to get off of him. Whether or not he was aware of his actions…Magnus wouldn't know. What he did know was that he certainly didn't hate this action one bit. He just wished that it suited Dunban's character better.
"Magnus…"
"What?"
"The first dish I make better be your favorite. Since you're going to be eating that for a long time."
Magnus wondered if he should lie to Dunban on that one. The last thing he wanted was to get tired of something he loved because someone ruined it for him.
Me: Done with 11285 words.
Li: That's a lot of information for the universe.
Me: And more Magnus/Dunban fanservice to boot as well as foreshadowing the inevitable encounter with Pit and Laharl in the sequel to Faustian Contract. Notes!
1. The four teenage angels are a specific shout out to the Tumblr thing of combining Tangled, Brave, How to Train Your Dragons and Rise of the Guardians and calling it Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons. I did like this concept until they started adding Frozen and Big Hero Six to the mix that missed the point of the crossover idea in the first place. The main concept I liked was how the four protagonists represented a season that can be shown in the movie and thus I decided that OCs inspirited by the idea would be based on them being weather angels. I bring up in some of my stories that these four particular angels determine the weather in Skyworld and they need to be at a certain place in Evangelion to be able to operate the weather that they see fit. This also allows them to affect the human world to a large extent and its based on their emotions.
Raine is the only one that will probably show up in Zelina and my game Divinius due to how while Rapunzel is an inspiration…the only thing that is inspired is how long her hair is. Otherwise, she's pretty much the farthest from it as you can see with her being a half-dragon, half-angel. It's complicated on how this mix came to be, but she's one of the more "deformed" angels. She's in charge of spring and the amount of rain received, but all the thunderstorms and hurricanes stem from being emotional as she is prone to tears. Combine that with how she's a dragon and expect a lot of bad floods.
Sunny is obviously based on Merrida simply by the bow and the comment about her having messed up hair. Other than that, I would like to think that I would take the bad traits that people didn't like about her in the movie and make it her defining character besides being hot-blooded. Obviously in charge of the summer heat but can cause droughts based on her mood.
Windie/Wendy is inspirited by Hiccup mainly due to how he reads the most, is quiet and has freckles, but other than that…there isn't anything else. The fact that he's Russian though is supposed to be funny given I made his father this big, muscular, magnificent, flamboyant man. He's in charge of the fall season and is prone to being the one who gives cloudy days and windstorms hence his name. Wendy is the most emotionally stable, so he doesn't really go over the top with his powers.
Blizzard is the one that is actually tied to the royal bodyguards more than the others, as he is Mcenche's cousin. He is inspired by Jack Frost and even has that as a nickname. He's pretty much Jack Frost only as an angel and even more irresponsible prankster than who he's based on, but he also has more family issues due to the Kaguya family in general. Since he's an ice angel, he's in charge of the winter and snowstorms and he goes over the top with them simply to mess with people rather than be emotional about it.
2. A lot of this information dumping about the other realms in the universe is only as important as those who follow all my fanfiction. It gives you a better sense of where the other Gods are, which Gods are dead and overall where to expect other stories will take place. I think the angel hierarchy isn't as much of an importance as much as the God conversation due to how the only ones you'll hear about are the ones Pit specifically mentions in his mind (meaning Dominion, Virtue and Power angels are more minor in comparison to the others). Some of this info DOES foreshadow certain things specifically Planet Order overall.
3. Dunban doesn't like fruits with a few he likes include the Heart Peach back in Bionis. I assume that because the Animal Crossing world has this rich flavor in their fruits since it's one of the main currencies that even someone like Dunban would be able to appreciate them. The forbidden apple is more of a subtle foreshadowing of what would happen in Faustian Contract and later in the Slavic arc with the whole "temptation" theme.
4. Both the peach cake and the blueberry peach fruit salad can be looked up online. In Smashville, all the fruits are available to the Villager children, but in this situation I used peaches again due to Dunban actually being fine with this particular fruit.
5. Shulk bringing up how Raine, Sunny, Wendy and Blizzard will die no matter what Pit does is foreshadowing the ending of Super Smash Arena. Remember that is a three part series (and the Marth one-shot is under this simply because it has to do with the arena) so you can see how Pit obviously got fucked over in Dream Vision. I don't know when I'll get to that story due to wanting to work on Super Smash Galaxy and other stories, but prepare a box of tissues when I get to finishing Super Smash Arena. I introduced them here before writing that story to understand their character, but knowing they are doomed to die does bring them all in a sad light.
That's it! Reviews are appreciated. Ja ne!