Chapter track: It's time- Imagine Dragons
I'm a fucking idiot.
You know you think you ready for life to start going somewhere, you spend your entire childhood waiting for you so called "big break" or some ridiculous shit. But when life actually heads in new direction, you find yourself scared shitless, alone in your room high off your ass on Tumblr. It's because things are changing, and you know you can't stop it. As fucked up as this town is…I can't see myself ever leaving this town. It's too scary for me, even if I don't want to admit it.
So here I am trying to get higher than a star with my lap top in front of me, sitting on my bed and tumbling. Yup, I have a Tumblr. Stan's the only one who knows about it and I intend to keep it that way. And If you were wondering, Yes it's a fandom Tumblr, and yes I'm a huge fag…But Stan doesn't have to know about that last part, nobody knows what would happen if anybody (that fucking fatass, my mom, Stan..anyone) found out…especially since I have a huge gay crush on my best friend.
So here it is, the summer before ninth grade. My mom decided to rant on about something ridiculous (as usual) but instead of calming down she decided to shout "I will not calm down!".So I left, eventually finding myself on Stan's door step ringing the door bell absent minded of the time of night, or whether anyone was home, upon realizing that I crossed my fingers like a dumbass.
Thankfully Sharon didn't open the door, just Stan, regular old Stan. But if it was just regular old Stan why was I standing there dumbstruck staring at him in his pajama pants a wifebeater (horrible name I know), and somehow making that look fucking perfect.
God I'm a looser.
"Kyle? uhhh what's going on" he mumbles groggily and all of a sudden I feel like my mouth is full of cotton and I don't know what's happening. Brain this is Stan, your best friend who also happens to be extremely attractive. "Gahh" I let out an annoyed groan without knowing it, annoyed that I'm attracted to my best friend and annoyed at my fucking mom…I mean I haven't seen Stan all summer (sports camps and such), and I probably wouldn't have seen him until school started accept my mom had to get all aggravated at 10 o'clock in the night(and he came back looking so damn good, I mean he's always been attractive but fuck!).
"Fucking mom" is all I manage to let out. " 'Kay, uhh come in I guess, Shelly's at her boyfriends and the parental units decided it would be fun to leave their bored fourteen year old son at home while they went to a three day wedding" he seemed annoyed, but I was even more "Dude! Why didn't you call me? I mean not just today….but over the past weeks" I mean it's not like a few weeks can change a basically lifelong friendship….right? He met my muddy green eyes with his perfect dark blue ones and gave me a look.
"Phew, ok so…ummm" he paused and I started to mess with my hands getting anxious. "Spit it out, your making me nervous!" I can't take any sort of suspense, even movies make me flip out "ok fine" he spat weaving his fingers through his jet black mop of hair "Sometimes it's easier to forget when you leave the place that you remembered in…ya know?" "No…I don't know, so could you please fucking elaborate?" I know I was getting testy but fuck this is annoying, getting a straight answer out of Stan was like pulling teeth.
"You've changed Kyle, I mean ughh how do I say this?". What is this? "Dude, I'm just the same as I was…I don't understand". "You see" he began "I um, err…" And instead of finishing his sentence he pushed his lips against mine, hesitantly and soft. My mind swam with a thousand colors.
When he finally pulled away he said "I...I'm sorry, I was just scared, I never wanna let you down" and as shocked as I was a grin found its place upon my face "Don't be, you won't, I love you. You're my super best friend, and nothing could ever change that" I pulled him into hug as we flopped onto the couch.
Know I know that paths in life may twist and turn, but some things never change.