Hi! This is my first fanfic and I hope you'll like it! [Revised chapters one to three, wrote more dialogue and gave them more 'feelings', if that's how it's called. :D]
This story is set in episode 319, which is the filler about Sanji with an old man who happens to be a famous cook because of his special salt. And Franky was still building Sunny.
Disclaimer: If I owned One Piece, Zoro and Sanji would've been gay for each other on their first day. No, make that third. :D One Piece belongs to Eiichiro Oda!
It's amazing when one finds that certain things carry a resemblance to someone; sometimes it's not the uncanny resemblance itself but the idea that fate agrees with a person's sense of humor. As if a ball of moss and a mosquito coil wasn't enough…
The sun had just set when the blond teen and his younger companions returned from gathering the necessary provisions. Just as they arrived, he turned to the kitchen and excitedly unloaded his groceries from his wooden shopping cart, including the pouch that contained the special Aqua Laguna salt he had incurred. He put down a box in an unobtrusive corner and its contents slightly clinked, hinting that it might have bottles inside. Sanji was chewing on the filter of his cigarette, playing it around his chapped, pale lips while rummaging around. He barely noticed the green-haired man that was sleeping quietly, arms crossed and leaning back ungraciously on a wooden chair in the dining area which was entirely visible from the kitchen.
Zoro, with the ability to sense people or moving things up to more or less a friggin' kilometer, was awakened by the cook's ruffling and humming. "That idiot cook…" He just had to scratch the back of his head, scowling at the blond man. "What's he up to?"
It's not always true that he didn't care about the shitty cook's business; he'll never openly admit it though. This time, he's really curious as to why Sanji was in high spirits. Wait, did he see the cook smirk just now?
He lazily walked towards the bubbly cook and gave his most intelligent welcome message he could come up with: "Booze."
The said cook looked at him as if he was the dumbest person in the world. He took a short drag and exhaled upward. "Swords. Sleep. Booze. Marimo-kun," Sanji stood beside the moss head, gave him his most sarcastic smile, patted his back and continued. "The fate of the world lies on your epic uselessness! Oh we are so grateful to your sorry excuse for a brain!"
Zoro quickly unsheathed Wadou and threatened the annoying blond with its blunt edge. "You stupid ero-cook! Do you have booze there or not?"
"You shitty swordsman!" Sanji raised his right leg, preparing for a kicking stance. "I wouldn't waste the money Nami-san gives me for your booze!"
Zoro would have bashed his sword into the cook's face had he not notice an obvious bottle of liquor peering from a thick paper bag near the wash basin. "Tch. Hand it over, aho-cook!"
"Over my dead sexy body, asshole!"
And so a cloudy exchange of blows and kicks ensues…
With all the racket that's been going on, the two didn't notice their hungry captain had already entered the kitchen. "Oi Sanji! Food!"
He was ignored, but to his benefit. Luffy sneaked past the two and rummaged through the groceries, eating anything edible right away.
Peeking his head from the clouds, Sanji caught his captain consuming almost everything he needed for dinner, save the salt. "Oi Luffy! Don't eat all of our dinner, you idiot!" He would've stopped him easily if the swordsman wasn't being a handful. "Shit! Marimo! Get the hell away from me!" He forcefully jerked Zoro away but was unsuccessful. "I have to stop Luffy!"
Suddenly, a line of slender hands sprouted and snatched the grocery bags away from the captain who was still hungry.
"Robin-chwan!" The love cook danced away from the clouds, kneeled down on one bended knee in front of the raven-haired woman, gesturing a princely pose. "I thank you for saving our dinner."
Being the tallest of the Mugiwaras, she could easily lift the bags away from Luffy's reach if he darn can't stretch for more or less 72 gomu gomus*. It can't be helped so a trail of hands kept sprouting, passing the groceries from one to another like he did with Luffy back at the Davy Back skating match. She grinned at their stubborn captain who was still trying to grab the groceries. Then she turned to the love cook who was exhaling a line of heart-shaped smoke. "I would like some coffee, please."
"Hai, Robin-chwan!" Sanji bustled away to make coffee while doing his ero-wiggle-dance. He put coffee beans that was good for at least two servings in the grinder, and took a beige coffee mug with various hand-painted flowers from the cupboard. He was nimble, but gracious in his execution. He always made sure to be precise in his measurements; he knew exactly how bittersweet and creamy it should be to suit Robin's tastes.
In the brief moment that the cook wasn't around him, Zoro tippy-toed his way near the wash basin where the liquor is. Idiot cook. Lucky for him, Sanji was too absorbed in his measuring and was able to gulp a good amount from the bottle.
"Here you go, my lovely." He served the freshly brewed coffee to their archaeologist as how a five-star (not to say pervy) waiter would.
"Thank you." She flashed her ever-charming smile to the ero-wiggling Sanji, whose nostrils were widening with glee, and took a seat at the dining area.
The poor captain clasped his growling stomach. "Oi Sanji! Stop wiggling and make some dinner already!"
"Yes, yes." He gave a short sigh as he too tried to reach the bags. Impatient as always, that Luffy. The blond excitedly grabbed a big pouch from one of the grocery bags that Robin saved. "I have here a special ingredient that will make dinner like you've never tasted before!"
"Tch."
"Shut up, shithead! Oi, who told you to drink that in one go, huh?" That's supposed to be for later!
Zoro flashed the now empty liquor bottle to the cook's face. "Hah! I got away with it because you're an idiot!"
"Why you…" He gritted his teeth and was aiming to kick the swordsman, who also started unsheathing Yubashiri when suddenly…
"I'M HUNGRY!" The rubbery captain coiled each of his arms to Zoro and to Sanji, just in time to stop another cloudy quarrel. He placed the cook near his work area. "I want to taste this 'special dinner' you're talking about!" There were stars in his eyes and not to mention he was drooling a river. He didn't notice that Zoro had broken free from his clutches.
Sanji tossed the cigarette butt he was chewing on for quite a while in the trash bin and lit another. He took a long drag and exhaled the smoke that formed into elegant swirls. Without a word, he started laying out all the ingredients and utensils that he needed. It's clearly obvious in his expression that he's also excited about this dinner because his nakama deserve no less when it comes to food.
"You're not trying to poison the food, are you?" Though he was still annoying Sanji, he did the cook a little favor by disposing of the empty liquor bottle and putting it beside the trash bin near where the said cook was working.
"Heh, if I want to I would've done if from the start, idiot." He was absorbed in his work and did not bother to pick another fight. "By the way, I have something for you." His was trying his best to not show his evil grin, biting his lower lip.
"If it's booze I'll take it, but seeing as how you're shaking while holding your laughter…" Zoro turned to leave the kitchen but before he could get pass the door, he gave Sanji an impassive glance behind his back. "Go to hell, you lech of a cook."
"Oh it's better than booze." The said cook didn't bother to look back, since he was busy chopping some vegetables. Or maybe he was trying to hide his expression. "I took the effort to pick that especially for you…" The swordsman was almost out of the kitchen but he made sure that he could hear his last statement. You WILL pretty damn like it, bastard.
Luffy, who figured it would take quite a while for dinner to finish, limply followed Zoro out of the kitchen.
"I also look forward to dinner…" Robin is still in the dining area, finishing her coffee. "…but what will occur after that seems quite interesting too."
"Ah Robin-chan! I have discovered a special ingredient while I was in town." He tried to change the subject and unraveled the pouch to show its contents. Sanji had a little hunch that their archaeologist knew what he was up to. "This is the salt that was gathered from the waves of Aqua Laguna. Dinner will surely be splendid, but I believe I don't get what you're trying to say."
Robin stood up and walked to the wash basin to wash her coffee mug.
"Please leave it there. I'll take care of it later." Though he was happy to insist, he was still waiting for an answer.
"I took a peek at your groceries. I hope you don't mind." Oh who would mind when she flashes her girly charm?
The blond swallowed down his throat, tensed that his hunch was right. "The town sure offers the freshest ingredients! Haha…" He inhaled a short drag and expelled it immediately. A glint of anxiety was present in his voice, and to feign innocence, he tried to digress. "W-would you like something, Robin-chan?"
Robin gave a little chuckle. "I'm sure Zoro will be pleased. The boxes of sake are for him, and 'those' are too, yes?" Satisfied that she hit the mark, she continued. "I must say, you did a good job in gathering these for him." And then she turned to leave. "Don't worry, I won't spill the surprise."
Before he could attempt to explain, the archaeologist was already gone. Damn no! What will Robin-chan think of me now? And why the hell did I buy so much for that idiot?
His cheeks felt a little warm with tinges of pink coloring his pale complexion, but he still grinned to himself, resuming what he was doing.
*Well, that's what Oda said in SBS (the Q&A corner in every volume) when someone asked how far can Luffy stretch. It's in volume four, though considering how many volumes there are right now he might go over 72! If you would like to know more about Oda-sensei and the world of One Piece, I suggest you read the SBS. He's such a funny guy! :)
See you in Chapter 2!