A/N: Here comes the Christmas special I sorta promised! All will be explained later, if you're confused with the musical terms. Do check online if you don't know the meanings of these terms. Brothers and Enemies will be only be updated on New Year's Day since I have to go for a holiday (The first ever this year for me) but do enjoy this.
I do not own Naruto!
Prelude: Moderato
The first snowfall in Konoha was magnificent.
Due to the recent visit of an other-worldly god-like being, oddly referring to himself as BJ, who decided to gift Konoha(Since it had been quite nice) with an annual snowfall, Konoha was celebrating its first ever Christmas. Shops all over Konoha were presented with plans for Christmas necessities; Bakeries and all manner of eating establishments were given traditional festive recipes; Classic Christmas trees sprouted up in the Nara deer parks (A cloud of 'troublesome' could be seen over the Nara clan residence for that month); the Akimchi clan tried tantalizing foodstuffs and offerings were made to the Christmas log.
It all seemed set to be the best Christmas for Konoha (At least for that year).
However… (Crescendo)
First Movement: Christmas Chase: Vivace con moto
'SWOOSH!"
A deluge of snow covered both sides of the path in a blanket of cold snow. Cursing shopkeepers in thick jackets shook their fists and displayed their vocabulary as mothers with their children, out for a spot of Christmas shopping, covered their innocent children's ears. However, some were just too late.
"Mummy, what does 'fuck' mean?"
Moving on to the cause of this chaos…
Konohamaru screamed for his life as he acquainted himself with the sled and sled down the snow-covered road, gripping the sled with an iron grip as he narrowly avoided smashing into the cakes being sold at one of Konoha's finest bakeries. However, he managed to smash in to the kitchen and was, sadly, gifted with a lot of dough, honey, sugar and other goodies that would have tasted delicious if not for the fact that they were crushed into his face at 50 kilometres an hour.
"Ow! Is that honey? Yum-OW! Hot chocolate-" BANG!
"Not the melted sugar syrup-YEOW! HOT!"
To make things worse, Hyuuga Hanabi was also chasing Konohamaru on her own sled. Dressed in a warmer and more comfortable version of the Hyuuga clan robes, she was literally dressed to kill, with demonic blood-red eyes and her screams of "GIVE ME BACK MY DIARY!". She was slowly gaining on Konohamaru as she was using her chakra to reduce air resistance around her.
Unfortunately, she fared no better in that kitchen. A whole barrel of eggnog had dislodged its contents all over her and feathers, plucked from turkeys and placed in several buckets, coated her in a unique and extremely strange costume not of her own choice. With a few choice tidbits added to the mess, the result was not unlike a turkey with too many feathers, without any sense of dress sense and was dripping with eggnog, without a beak and crowned with some icing. (Mmm… Icing…)
The hilarious yet horrifying chase (Imagine! The heir to the Hyuuga clan parading around in public in that absolutely disgraceful thing! ) continued as Konohamaru's sled somehow took off from a chair, went through a window and landed on the rooftops. The noise made by the sleds on the rooftops could be heard for miles around as Konohamaru and Hanabi had a conversation (More of a shouting match, if you ask me) that set ears a-listening.
"It wasn't my fault!"
"YOU STOLE IT!"
"No I didn't! It was Neji who stole it! He blamed it on me and you were dumb enough to believe him!"
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
"I'm telling the truth-WAA!"
The sudden interruption was due to an immense load of snow and crushed ice coming down from a nearby training ground, neatly engulfing Konohamaru in a perfect sphere. A pity the symmetry was spoiled by the appearance of one Hanabi, who, puzzled as she was, failed to realize in time that that she was headed for a very wet and cold snowball. And so…
"What the-"
WHUMP! (Fortepiano)
Andante Moderato
"Are you guys okay? I think I may have overdone it on that jutsu…"
Haku sweat-dropped as she ran towards the small mountain of snow and ice. Using her mastery of ice manipulation, she started removing the snow and ice and dumped tem on the ground next to the dwindling pile. In a matter of seconds, she managed to uncover the bodies of Konohamaru and Hanabi, of which the latter was starting to shake off the snow on her coat, displaying a face full of emotion. However, it morphed into a face showing but one emotion: worry (With a hint of anger).
Hanabi started shaking Konohamaru, increasing her vibrations in order to elicit a response from his still-unmoving body.
"You better not die on me you idiot!"
Haku sweat-dropped again as she watched Hanabi shaking Konohamaru violently. That would do some brain damage to Konohamaru if she continued.
"HAHAHAHAHA!"
Haku spun around to see that Konoha's number 1 most unpredictable blond ninja, Uzumaki Naruto, rolling on the floor laughing as loud as he could. Standing by him and trying extremely hard not to laugh was Hyuuga Hinata. Hanabi and Konohamaru, who was revived by that burst of laughter, turned their heads to look at the spectacle before them. Naruto soon calmed down from his fit of laughter, though sporadic bursts of laughter came from his mouth every now and then.
"What's so funny?" Asked Hanabi crossly.
"Well, look at-HAHAHA! Look at-" He choked on his words for a while.
"Look at yourselves! WAHAHAHA!"
Haku, Konohamaru and Hanabi looked at themselves (At Konohamaru and Hanabi, in Haku's case). Haku immediately started laughing loudly while the mentioned couple stared at themselves for a good while.
Only then did they realize the compromising position they were in.
Hanabi was sitting on Konohamaru, on his waist to be precise, with her face extremely close to Konohamaru's, and since both were wet, well, what do you think?
Konohamaru and Hanabi turned their faces to each other, and accidently kissed.
"Eeep!"
Hanabi squeaked in a manner reminiscent of Hinata as she turned a shade of red. She quickly took her hands from his shoulders, increasing the distance between their heads as she did so, placing them down in front of her.
As she completed that extremely swift movement, she felt something soft and at the same time, Konohamaru let out a slightly higher-pitched shout (Or scream) and fainted. Meanwhile, Hanabi's nose leaked some blood as she too fainted. Right on top of Konohamaru.
Looking at them now, they could be mistaken for some couple trying to shag each other in public.
The giggles coming from Naruto, Hinata and Haku turned into an eruption of laughter from their mouths.
"WHAT THE HECK MAN! HAHAHAHAHA!"
Interlude: Giocoso
The man who would only be known as BJ sat at the Hokage's desk, happily toasting marshmallows with fire fueled by paperwork. Alongside him, the Godaime Hokage was happily toasting an almost drunken Shizune with the sake she had stolen… taken… borrowed, yes, borrowed, from the wine merchants. However, she was also indulging in a new favorite of hers: Eggnog with a generous dose of whiskey.
"This ain't bad for a foreign drink, right Shizune?"
"I LIKE CUTE LOGS!"
"She has no drinking stamina at all… 3 glasses of whiskey-infused eggnog is enough to start her saying random and stupid things…"BJ cheerily said.
"WHAT YOUSE SHAY? I DON'T LIKE CUTE LOGSH?"
BJ merely lifted an eyebrow before biting into the marshmallow and sucked out the innards of the poor marshmallow, leaving a crust of slightly burnt marshmallow.
"Ahh… the ambrosia of the gods…"
He pierced another marshmallow on his stick and held it above the flames.
"But I guess Tsunade must have a non-existent drinking capacity too, since she seems to be quite drunk."
"Why is that so?" Tsunade growled as she lifted her empty sake bottle.
"You just passed me the paperwork for an official peace treaty with Iwa and Kumo to use as fuel for my fire…"
"OH YOU MOTHER FU-"
"Cockle-doodle-mother-fucking-do! SAYS THE DEMON CHICKEN OF DOOM!"
Andante Moderato
Back at the Hyuuga residence…
Hanabi and Konohamaru, dry and warm, were arguing with each other in front of the roaring fireplace in Hanabi's room. It was slowly getting more serious and serious as the Hyuuga household prepared for another of one of their big fights that could decimate the whole clan residence. Until Neji walked in.
Neji Hyuuga stepped inside the room gracefully, dressed in a neat and formal suit, fresh from his appointment as best man for Lee and Kin's wedding. He was dressed in a tailor-made suit and wore a rosette in his lapel. He stepped softly into the room, making no noise at all as his leather shoes, polished to shine in the light, made no mark.
However, he was holding a small book and he was also trying to stem the blood leaking from his nose at an enormous rate.
"Hanabi-sama…"
Konohamaru and Hanabi froze and turned their heads to Neji.
"As per Hiashi-sama's instructions, I have read your diary in order to better prepare you for your role as a clan head and discover any weaknesses you may have… now."
Neji finally stopped up his nose with wads of tissue paper from his pocket with a motion that was extremely elegant (And the twenty or so fan girls sighed and took photos of it) and took a deep breath.
Hanabi slowly turned a crimson shade of red as she realized that Neji had read her diary, even in the most… indecent parts.
"I did not know you had such a… obsession with the Sandaime's grandson. Judging from from this book, your dreams are… very detailed. Kindly hide your diary better and do not show such… things to others."
At that moment, two things happened. Neji threw the book to Hanabi and was pulled outside the room by the rabid fan girls, who had seen what was inside the diary.
Konohamaru caught the book and, curious, flipped to a random page in the book and immediately had a massive nose-bleed. Hanabi, turning even redder, snatched her diary back and sunk deeper into her coat.
Konohamaru turned to her, nose still dripping with his blood.
"Can we do that now? Please? In the shower?"
SMACK!
Fine
A/N: You perverts !
Well, hope you guys enjoyed it. I'm building this on a sort of musical theme that I will update on special days, with different pairings for each one-shot in this Naruto Sonata. The finale will come next year on Christmas day so be prepared!
Vote for your favorite pairing for the oneshot on New Year's Day by reviewing this story and include the pairing of your choice.
Merry Christmas!