Disclaimer: I don't own Dynasty Warriors/Rot3k or The Zhao Yun Three Pa Chinese comic.
A/N: While searching the web for some three kingdoms relate stuff; I found 11 Three Kingdoms Chinese comics. One of them is the Zhao Yun Three Pa comic. It has an alternate approach in the Three Kingdoms story and Zhao Yun and Zhen Ji are the main characters. Can't you believe it? The pairing evolves...
Chang Shan Savior Special 2: The Zhao Yun HK comic book
At the Koei Building...
The meeting has been set for a surprise announcement. Zhao Yun is the one who made this meeting and hopefully everyone will attend to this meeting even if it's another pointless one. Last time it was about his movie and this time...
"Hey Zhao Yun, what's the surprise announcement you want to tell us about?" Xing Cai asked.
"In time, Xing Cai; we're waiting for the Wei group to get here," Zhao Yun said.
Finally the Wei group shows up, only Cao Pi is getting annoyed of coming here. Zhen Ji hangs her arms around Cao Pi with a sweet smile on her face. She's in great mood, but Cao Pi had no idea what influence her to be so happy. Cao Cao bowed to Zhao Yun with genuine respect only to get a death glare at Ma Chao and he show his face at the Qiaos to bring exchanging stares at Sun Ce and Zhou Yu.
"Lets hope it's not another one of those stupid Dynasty Warriors 6 complains...I can't believe Zhen Ji forced me to wear my Dynasty Warriors 6 costume," Xiahou Dun grumbled.
"I'm sooo young..." Liu Bei whimpered as Shang Xiang hugged him tightly.
"You look so sweet, Xuande. We can now officially be called lovers in front of our fans," Shang Xiang said, as she tried to cheer him up.
"Oh give us a break, Shang Xiang!!" All of the jealous Wu officers glared.
"Ying, you look so...hot," Zhuge Liang quietly said.
"You're still the same, Kong Ming and why haven't you admit it turns you on to see me with so much skin reveal in this costume?" Yue Ying crossed her arms as she felt disappointed of her husband's immunity to sex.
"Hahaha, Zhuge Liang's wife is so hot, yet he has no idea what being sexy is or what the hell is sex!" Sima Yi taunted.
"Have you enjoyed your latest dress Zhongda? Zhang He there looks as womanly as ever to ask you for marriage. I heard you got your own Jin army force in Battle of Xu Chang. So that makes Zhang He your empress," Zhuge Liang taunted back.
"What the...? Damn it, I demand a recall from Koei! Delay the damn game and put us all back in our Dynasty Warriors 5 looks!!" Sima Yi urged.
"But, Sima Yi dear, I love what they did to us! We now are officially going to create a beautifully gay kingdom; the kingdom of Jin!" Zhang He chanted.
"ARRGH!!" Sima Yi starts losing it as everyone laughs so hard.
"Jin...sucks..." Wei Yan stated.
"I concur..." Cao Cao nodded.
"Guys, can we get back on topic please? This is not about Dynasty Warriors 6 and I'm wearing my Dynasty Warriors 4 costume to represent what we're about to discuss," Zhao Yun cleared his throat as everyone pay attention to the poster boy; the King of Koei himself.
Suddenly, Lu Bu stormed out of the door and slams it back shut with Diao Chan next to him restraining the beast from his wrath upon Koei.
"Those treacherous bastards; how dare they make me...me..." Lu Bu tried to control his anger. He didn't come here on his Dynasty Warriors 6 costume, but Diao Chan does.
"We know, Feng Xian. Hurry up, I'm anxious to talk about today's meeting," Zhen Ji sighed as she gives Zhao Yun a satisfying wink. Zhao Yun nodded as Lu Bu and Diao Chan went to their seats.
"So you also have a whip too, Luo," Diao Chan assumed as she show her own whip and compare it to Zhen Ji's.
"Yeah, but I think this suits you better along with the harem slut look. You're the most liked female character Chinese men are crazy about, not me." Zhen Ji grinned.
"But, I'm not a slut either. Don't get the wrong idea about me and Lu Bu, we..." Diao Chan paused as everyone at the table got the idea that Diao Chan is now the BDSM Mistress and Lu Bu her official sex slave. The new personality of Diao Chan has been reveal in Dynasty Warriors 6.
Lu Bu continues his wild anger with an immature scream.
"Please tell the stupid beast to shut up?" Cao Pi sigh annoyed.
"Lu Bu the Uncontrollable sex slave, oh god! HAHAHAHAH!" This just made Zhang Fei's day.
"Ok, let's start the meeting. Now I'm about to announce the surprise and here I'm holding something in my hand with is wrapped on the bag," Zhao Yun waved the object he holding.
"And here I'm supposed to be impressed with such a single thing?" Yuan Shao roll eyed.
"Even Yuan Shao finds Zhao Yun's pathetic meeting pointless," Cao Pi smirked.
"...And what I am about to discuss is this very book in my hand wrapped in this bag; it will ease the unbearable disappointings of Dynasty Warriors 6," Zhao Yun said.
"Oooh, please tell us what that book is about?" Sun Shang Xiang interest grew as she keeps touching the soft faced skin of her lover.
"If it's about the Dynasty Warriors 6 art book; I'm leaving..." Zhou Yu crossed his arms wearing his Dynasty Warriors 6 costume which Zhang He is starting to grow fond of the design. "Don't even think about it Jinyi."
"I see Gongjin got a new lover," Zhuge Liang smiled.
"..." Zhou Yu will keep staring at the unchangeable Zhuge Liang for a long long time. It's been told that Koei ruined Zhou Yu's character for good.
"Koei loves Zhuge Liang too much that they don't make him gay," Sima Yi scoffed.
"Hey Gongjin, I'm older now," Xiao Qiao said.
"..." Zhou Yu remains silent as he continues staring at Zhuge Liang.
"Ahem, now I will show you what this book is," Zhao Yun torn the bag and reveal the cover of the chinese comic book featuring Wen Chou, Lu Bu, Zhen Ji, Yuan Shao, and Zhang He. "What do you think guys?! This is my very own comic book!"
The entire council went silent. Zhen Ji smiles become wider and Cao Pi just doesn't get it as he gets the "wtf" look. Yuan Shao took a closer look at Wen Chou.
"Is that Wen Chou? Is that really Wen Chou in the comic?" Yuan Shao's tears felt on his cheek as he glances at the cover of Volume 6.
"Yep, that's Wen Chou's unique look. Satisfied now, Yuan Shao?" Zhao Yun grinned as he open the page of the Zhao Yun comic book revealing the entire Yuan fraction.
"I have to give it to Yuan Shao; your two generals look so impressive," Cao Cao said.
"Eh, they looked that badass?" Zhang Fei found it difficult to acknowledge Yan Liang and Wen Chou's unique looks in the comic.
"Don't ask me, I thought Yan Liang was weak that I cut his head off so fast on the Red Hare," Guan Yu was just as puzzled as Zhang Fei.
Suddenly Yan Liang and Wen Chou are right behind Guan Yu by surprise.
"I wasn't even ordered to fight you, Guan Yu. So you underestimate my true power," Yan Liang crossed his arms with a dreadful appearance next to him is Wen Chou who scoffed at the two oath brothers inferiority complex.
"What...power?" Guan Yu looked at him confused.
"As I was saying before your stupid brother killed him; Yan Liang was trying to find Guan Yu and report to his brother Liu Bei of your whereabouts. You see the proof of Guan Yu's stupidity does not compare that to Yan Liang. Yan Liang is very competent I assure you," Yuan Shao said. He's glad his force is getting some credit in the comic.
"Competent...hahahahahahahah," All the Wei officers laugh as hard as are Wu officers.
"Argh, shut up you ..." Yuan Shao was cut short as his two generals shook their heads and told him to ignore the council. Then they both sit next to each other as the meeting continues.
"Lu Bu, you can stop shouting now. Check out your look in the Zhao Yun comic," Diao Chao pointed at the next page which shows Lu Bu standing tall with Yuan Shao, Zhen Ji, and Zhang He on the last few pages of Volume 6.
"Huh? Oh, finally a look that shows the REAL Mighty Lu Bu. It does represent my personality. I'm not even evil in the comic, am I Zilong?" Lu Bu asked with concerning looks at Zhao Yun.
"Nope, by the way, Diao Chan you're also in the comic as a sub conscious in Lu Bu's mind," Zhao Yun confirmed.
Diao Chan and Lu Bu check out volume 2 where Lu Bu is fighting Diao Chan in a dimensional and they're amazed at how the picture describe it.
"So, who else is in the comic?" Gan Ning asked as he straighten his new hair he dyed as a j-pop rocker.
"Me, Zhen Ji, Zhang He, Yuan Shao, Lu Bu, Diao Chan, Zhang Jiao, Cao Cao, Cao Ren, Xiahou Dun, Xiahou Yuan, Guan Yu, and Zhang Liao," Zhao Yun said.
"No Wu characters?!" Sun Ce exclaimed.
"Well, your son in law and my lord is in one page on the first volume of the comic," Zhao Yun showed the second page of volume 1.
"Yi…Ling…" Wei Yan said in a disappointed tone.
"Hey, my two swords are in it!" Lu Xun shocked went he saw the page.
"And that corny hat," Gan Ning chuckled. Lu Meng slapped him in the back of the head.
Ling Tong laughed quietly when he saw Lu Meng slapped Xing Ba.
"And that's not the best part; Zhao Yun and I have a romance relationship in the comic," Zhen Ji shows volume 11 where she hugged Zhao Yun at the Emperor's royal pool.
Xiahou Dun, Yuan Shao, and Cao Pi spit their wine when they hear the news about romance scenes on Zhao Yun and Zhen Ji.
"Ji, give me that book?!" Cao Pi scowled. Zhen Ji hand him over volume 11 of the Zhao Yun comic and he read every detail in the pages and what they're saying. Yuan Shao and Xiahou Dun both saw the comic behind Cao Pi.
"Why the hell is he calling you Ma Xin? Who the hell is Ma Xin?!" Xiahou Dun asked.
"If you read the entire story; Ma Xin is just someone I impersonate to keep Yuan Shao's plan intact. The perfect disguise to fool Zhao Yun," Zhen Ji explained.
"Wait, I had a plan set in this comic?" Yuan Shao wondered.
"Yep and you carefully cover all the weak spots that can exploit the plan," Zhen Ji said.
"Yuan Shao doing strategy? Since when did you even care about doing strategy?" Cao Cao hurried to check out Volume 6 and 7 on how Yuan Shao plotted to control the Emperor and take over the North.
"Emperor Ling is still alive during that time after the Yellow Turbans. Guess, cousin's ascension and Dong Zhuo's tranny didn't happen," Liu Bei said.
"Ma Xin…?" Xiahou Dun shook his head.
"What the hell, Ma Yuan Yi had a daughter?!" Cao Cao continued reading while he's in a shocked reaction.
Cao Pi thought he read enough and wanted to get out of this non sense. Once he sneak out of the room, Zhen Ji quickly use her new whip and lashed at Cao Pi's left leg and then grapple him down where he felt on his chin.
"You're not leaving this meeting, Pi Pi," Zhen Ji wiggle her finger.
"Now even Cao Pi is an uncontrollable sex slave to Zhen Ji," Sun Quan laughed.
"Shut up Zhongmou…" Cao Pi grunted.
"Zhen Ji and Diao Chan both have whips to devour their enemies and humiliate their men. What in the world is Koei thinking? And I'm not in Dynasty Warriors 6!" Xing Cai complained.
"But, this art counts doesn't it?" Guan Ping shows the artwork of little Xing Cai in Zhang Fei's arms.
"That's my little girl!" Zhang Fei cheered.
"Dad…." Xing Cai glared at her father. She really want to be in the next Dynasty Warriors since she got loyal fans.
"They cut me out of the game too. Guan Yu and I haven't finished our duel," Pang De said.
"My sister isn't in it either," Xiao Qiao frowned.
"It's ok, one abuse wouldn't hurt Xiao. You can take care of yourself," Da Qiao said.
"But Da, I wanted you in DW 6," Sun Ce protested.
"Cutting me out didn't make sense," Jiang Wei scoffed.
"Do anyone care if I made the cut?" Zuo Ci asked.
"Anyone , but you!" Cao Cao pointed out.
Everyone continue arguing about Dynasty Warriors 6 while, Cao Pi continue talking to himself and calling Zhen Ji a female dog so many times wishing Lady Guo in Dynasty Warriors. Looks like the meeting is finally over.
"Hardly anyone is interest in my own comic book," Zhao Yun tapped his head while stressed in everyone's complains on Dynasty Warriors 6.
"I am, Zilong. A pity, I should have been in this comic," Pang Tong said.
"Shiyuan, if they make another Zhao Yun comic; you'll take an important role while Zilong and I are still the main characters. I hope they'll make another three kingdoms Chinese comic," Zhen Ji said.
"By the way, Pang Tong. My love poem to Zhen Ji is in this comic," Zhao Yun grinned.
"Really, then I better start reading all 12 volumes of this. You've done a fantastic job my pupil," Pang Tong patted his favorite student's back and took his leave.
The End