AN: I was watching this episode on TV last night and wondered what would have happened if Ralph and Casey ended up together so this is my alternate ending. I took out the parts with the blue screen because if this was a book or something there wouldn't be any of those. Let me say this was REALLY hard to have to go through like each line type it down with details and then do this for a whole episode.
Casey walked around the dinner table placing down forks for everyone. "Lizzie, George, Marti, and Edwin!" She told herself. Derek came trotting down the stairs and stood behind her.
"You're missing someone." He told her. Casey turned to him.
"Oh, I never miss you Derek." She said confidently. Derek let out a fake chuckle. "Besides, what's the point of giving you cutlery it's not like you use it."
"Oh, save the stand up routine for our dinner guest." Derek told her.
George came and set a bowl onto the table. "What dinner guest?" He asked his son.
"Oh Ralph, he's coming for dinner." Derek answered. "And breakfast, and lunch, and dinner." Casey turned her head towards George with fear.
"Is he moving in?" George asked. Casey turned her head back to Derek.
"No his parents are out of town so I told him he could stay here for the weekend." Derek leaned on a chair.
Without my permission?" Casey asked madly. She stopped for a second. "I mean, without parental permission?"
"It's alright with me." George proceeded to the kitchen.
"What's wrong with Ralph?" Derek asked.
"Other than his taste in friends nothing." Casey sighed. "Ralph's a very sweet guy he's just so, loud and enthusiastic. He's like a puppy! Who keeps on woofing and knocking everything off the table with his tail." She explained.
Derek nodded his head as a greeting towards Ralph. "He's standing right behind me isn't he?" Casey asked.
"Yeah a little bit." Derek answered.
Casey turned to see Ralph standing with a two sticks for his drum. "Ralph, hi, you're here. And you're carrying drums. How perfect." She said to Ralph.
"Hope you don't mind." Ralph said politely.
"Actually." Casey started.
"Mind?" Derek interrupted her. "Dude, you're our guest. If you wanna drum you drum, all weekend long." Derek said.
"That's good because I like my weekends how I like my music, loud." Ralph started drumming his drum to a beat.
The other kids raced down the stairs to their dinner seats. "Hey wait for me." Said Marti who was falling behind. "Hey Ralphie, what are you doing here?" She asked Ralph.
"Oh. I'm staying the whole weekend." He answered. Marti giggled.
"Didn't Derek tell you to come after dinner?" Edwin joked.
"Yeah, friends don't let friend eat here." Lizzie explained.
"Hey?" Nora asked offended.
"I warned him. I even tried to hide his fork." Derek said.
"Well I think everything looks de-licious!" Ralph exclaimed. He picked up a chicken leg and took a small bite out of it.
"Thank you Ralph, you're very polite." Nora told him.
"Mmm. What is this?" He asked.
"Oh that's a French dish called Leftovers." Edwin said with a french accent.
"Well remind me to get the recipe." Ralph turned to Casey. "So what are us kids doing tonight?" He asked the table while looking at her.
Casey looked around her setting. "Well this kid is going over to Emily's." She answered awkwardly.
"And Nora and I are having a parent's night out at Emily's place." George said while placing some mashed potatoes on his plate.
"I got a shift at Smelly's." Derek said.
"Well, who's gonna be watching the kids?" Nora asked her husband.
"I'll watch the kids for you." Edwin offered.
"Forget it." George said. "Last time you looked after the kids you started a food fight." Edwin let out a chuckle.
"We had to use peanut butter to get jelly out of my hair." Marti told Ralph. Edwin and Ralph giggled simultaneously.
"Well I'd be happy to hang with the kids." Ralph offered.
"Aww Ralph that's very nice of you but we can't ask you to, hang." Nora said.
"We didn't ask, Ralph offered." George specified.
"Ralphie you're hired." Nora told him.
"Great. Well if you wanna see my references-"
"Ah you don't need references." Derek stopped his friend. "I can vouch for you."
Casey sighed. "Oh how comforting."
Ralph opened the wrapper around an ice cream bar. "I need every sweet thing in the freezer." He told Lizzie and Marti. The island counter was covered in wrappers and cases from frozen sweets. "To make my famous frozen Ralph."
"Eww." Marti and Lizzie echoed eachother. Ralph broke the bar in half and dropped it in the red mix of melted food.
"Don't diss it until you try it. It's a swamp of every sweet, frozen thing. You put it all together and do you know what you have?" He asked the girls.
"Uh, the biggest stomachache ever?" Lizzie responded. Ralph motioned for them to step back. He pressed a button and the blender exploded, flinging 'Frozen Ralph' all across the kitchen. Both the girls screamed.
"Put the top on! Put the top on!" Lizzie yelled.
"It's gonna get everywhere!" Marti shouted.
"No the Ralph has to breathe." Ralph explained. Edwin began walking into the kitchen casually.
"Edwin! Watch out for flying Ralph!" Marti warned. Edwin ducked to keep the Ralph from flinging onto his head.
"What's going on this is worse than the food fight I started?" Edwin asked the three ducking in the kitchen.
"But I bet the results are tastier." Ralph crept his way back to the island and turned the blender off. "Alright Edwin try this." Ralph said.
"Uhhh…No thanks Ralph I don't wanna drink brown stuff." Edwin said.
"Trust me." Ralph filled a glass halfway with the mixture in his hand.
"Ok." Edwin said. Ralph handed half a glass of Ralph to the three children saying "There you go." To each of them. The three took a huge sip from their glass. "mmm." They said together.
"I know, I know. Just watch out for the-" All three kids put their free hands to their heads in pain. "Brain freeze, yeah."
Ralph banged on his drum. "Alright! Is everybody ready to rock?" He asked them.
"If by ready you mean pumped full of sugar. Then yes! We are ready!" Edwin answered.
"Alright, then 1, 2,1, 2, 3." Ralph shouted. He played his drum while the other three hit wooden utensils on pots and pans in the middle of the living room. They were all on a different beat.
"You're the best babysitter ever." Lizzie cried to Ralph.
With you in charge, I'd have a babysitter until I was 30." Edwin complimented Ralph.
"Can we stay up all night?" Marti asked.
"I don't know, can you?" Ralph questioned.
Everyone had fallen asleep on the couch wearing one of their instruments in some way. Casey came in the back door and gasped at the sight of the mess in the kitchen. Everyone woke instantly and ran to her.
"What? How? Why?" Casey asked in disbelief.
"Frozen Ralph."
"Uncovered blender."
Needed to breathe."
"Ralph how could you?" She asked him.
"Well it's really easy, you just take every sweet thing from the freezer." He tried to explain.
"The kids should be in bed, you were supposed to be in charge." Casey lectured.
"Hey, that is no way to talk to our honorary brother." Edwin said while placing a hand on Ralph's shoulder.
"Honorary brother? Ralph McDonald-Venturi Papadopoulos. That really rolls off the tongue, huh?" Ralph acknowledged.
"Well as your honorary brother, be prepared to be punished by your honorary parent for this mess." Casey told them sternly.
"But Ralph's the best babysitter we've ever had." Lizzie explained. Marti and Edwin agreed with her.
"What about me?" Casey asked, disappointed.
"Solid second place." Lizzie said nervously.
"You know, maybe if you had your own specialty drink." Edwin added.
"Yeah. But don't worry Casey. Half the fun is making the mess, the other half is cleaning it up." Ralph lied.
"Oh please since when is cleaning fun?" Casey asked. "For anyone other than me?"
Casey, Lizzie, and Edwin were scrubbing the kitchen while Ralph paced with a walkie talkie. "Marti to Ralph. Marti to Ralph." Marti said from the window into her walkie talkie. "Eagles have landed. Over."
"Landed over where?" Ralph asked.
"I mean they're coming. Over" She explained.
"Who's coming over?" Ralph misunderstood.
"My dad and Nora are here." Marti ran to the stairs to go to bed. Ralph motioned Lizzie and Edwin to go up the stairs.
"We're home!" Nora opened the door. "Oh hi Ralph." Nora greeted him. She and George began removing their coats. "Kids asleep already?" She asked.
"Yes." Marti said trough the walkie talkie. Ralph hid it behind his back.
"Yes." He told the parents.
"Oh good, good." George said. He and Nora walked over to the babysitter. "Well thanks Ralph we really appreciate it."
"Oh no problem. I had a blast." Ralph told them.
"Yeah well I guess you can hit the couch and chill because you're off the clock." Nora told him. They both started walking up the stairs. Ralph turned to Casey.
"I can't believe we actually pulled it off." Ralph laughed. He held his hand up for a high five.
"We?" She asked. "All you did was walkie talk while I cleaned up the mess YOU created." She corrected him.
"I'm sorry. I was just trying to be a good babysitter and to me good babysitting, is fun babysitting." Ralph explained.
"Yeah well maybe instead you should try being a good guest." She told him. Ralph pulled out his drum sticks. "And that means no drumming at night." She warned before walking up the stairs.
Derek came in the front door of the house. "Hey buddy." He said after a long day at work. "How'd the night go?" He asked. Ralph stuffed the sticks into his back pocket.
"Well the kids had fun and so did I, but Casey's really mad at me." Ralph answered.
"Yep. Yep. That sounds about right." Derek nodded his head. "Good job."
Derek and Ralph watched a tied up hockey game the next morning. Edwin and Lizzie stood next to Derek's chair. "Could you take us to the park?" They asked.
"Go fly a kite." Derek said before reacting to a trip by the goal.
"That's exactly what we wanted to do." Edwin held up a kite with the Canadian flag on it.
"Well then go ask Casey." Derek tried to get them to leave.
"We were asking Ralph." Lizzie corrected her older step-brother.
"I'm sure I speak for Ralph when I say-"
"I'd love to." Ralph answered for himself.
"Would love to." Derek repeated in shock. Ralph and Edwin high fived.
"Let's go fly a kite." Ralph said.
Derek was in his room that afternoon spray8inf himself with his favorite body spray when Ralph came in. Derek didn't notice Ralph acting like if he was taking a shower. He turned and saw Ralph holding the collar of his jacket.
"Thanks man you just saved me a shower." Ralph said. "Dude, the park rocked. The kite got stuck in a tree, then I got stuck in the tree." He laughed. "Good times. So what are the haps for tonight?"
"The haps is me having dinner with Celeste." Derek said.
"Great. Where are we going?" Ralph asked.
"It's a dinner for two. Don't you have date with Amanda?" Derek asked to try and get Ralph to not follow him on his date.
"Uh, no. Amanda's in Niagara Falls at an Irish dancing competition." Ralph answered.
"Irish dancing?" Derek asked.
"Yeah. You know, uh." Ralph began to do a bad imitation of an irish dancer. Derek turned and started walking and left Ralph in the midst of his dance.
Derek walked into Casey's bedroom. "Hey. You're hanging out with Ralph tonight." Derek announced to her.
Casey turned in her desk chair and said "You can't pawn Ralph off on me." Casey argued.
"Uh, nobody's pawning Ralph." Derek said. "But I figured since I have a date and you have no life, you wouldn't mind."
"I have life." She told him. "I just don't have a date and my best friend Emily does." She looked at him challengingly. "And why should I have to look after your friend when all I wanna do is watch a romcom at home alone on a Saturday night?"
"Romcom?" Derek asked.
"ooooh. A romantic comedy." Ralph said as he danced into the room. He stopped by landing with his left foot forward. "I'll join you. Just promise you won't cry ok?" He asked.
Casey pulled a tissue out of the box and blew her nose. They were reaching the end of the movie. Ralph also took a tissue but just held it in his hands. "How can he leave her?" He asked. "Men are such jerks."
"I know. Obviously she was perfect for him couldn't he see that?" She asked.
"I know." Ralph agreed. He pressed tissue against his eyes. "So uh, Casey."
"mhm?" She responded.
"What's a girl like you doing with a guy like me on a Saturday night?" He asked her.
"I don't know." She stopped being upset. "I guess since I broke up with Max I haven't really, connected with anyone."
"Maybe you just haven't let yourself connect with anyone." Ralph told her.
"That is very insightful Ralph." Casey pointed out.
"Thanks. No one's ever called me 'insightful' before." Ralph said.
Casey smiled to herself. "So what about you? Shouldn't you be with Amanda?" She asked him.
Actually we're in a fight." He told her. "At least I think we are. I mean, she said she was really nervous about her Irish dancing competition so I thought that meant she didn't want to go. So I said 'don't worry, I wont be there.'" He shrugged his shoulders.
"Because you didn't want to make her more nervous by watching." Casey explained for herself.
"Exactly. And then I did m imitation of Irish dancing to try to make her laugh, but she though I was making fun of Irish dancing, which I wasn't. But you gotta admit that it's kinda weird to dance without moving your arms." He explained.
Casey giggled. "Well I hope you two work it out. Amanda's a very lucky girl." She said to herself.
"Why? Did she win the lottery or something?" Ralph asked. Casey laughed.
"In a way she did. Goodnight Ralph." Casey leaned over and pecked Ralph on the cheek. She got up and tossed her pillow and tissue box on the couch and walked to her room.
"Hey loser." Derek commented when he walked past her. He sat on the arm on the couch and saw Ralph smiling wide. "You ok Ralph?" He asked.
"No." Ralph answered. "I think I'm in love with Casey."
Derek burst out laughing. "You love Casey." He joked. "You're kidding right?" He asked.
"No." Ralph giggled.
"No." Derek realized he was being honest. "Well in that case, go for it buddy." Derek said.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
The next morning Derek knocked on the bathroom door until Casey opened it. She was brushing her teeth. "Hey congrats on the new boyfriend." Derek told her.
"Huh?" She asked with a closed mouth filled with toothpaste.
"Ralph." Derek explained. Casey turned and ran to the sink to spit and ran back to him.
"What are you talking about? Ralph and I are apart. Very apart!" She told him with her toothbrush in hand.
"Oh, then why is he preparing to declare his love for you?" He asked her.
"What?" She asked him. "You have to stop him."
"Stop him?" Derek asked. "So you don't actually like him?" I guess I shouldn't have told him to go for it." He told himself.
"What?! You have to tell him I'm not interested." Casey demanded.
"And disappoint Ralph? I can't do that to a friend." Derek shook his head.
"Casey? Can I talk to you?" Ralph asked from the bottom of the stairs.
"Um, No because…I'm asleep." Casey darted to her room.
"Good one." Derek called sarcastically while she closed the door.
Ralph knocked on Casey's bedroom door with a tray of food on it. "Casey I have breakfast for you." He told her.
"I'm still not up yet." She uttered through the door.
"Ralphie?" Marti asked him. Ralph turned to face her. "What are you doing bringing Casey breakfast?"
"Um, It's kind of a secret." He told her.
"Then whisper it." She said. Ralph leaned down by her ear without tilting the table.
"I like Casey." He whispered.
"You like Casey?!" Marti repeated.
Lizzie came out of her room not more than a second later. "You like Casey?" She asked.
"Who told?" He asked.
"You did." Marti answered.
"Great. Now you guys know, Derek knows." He said.
"You told Derek?" Lizzie asked him.
"Well who do you think told me to go for it?" He asked her.
"Edwin! Emergency!" She called up to the attic.
Edwin turned on the light in the games closet. "Well I just wanna say it's an honor to be invited to a family emergency." Ralph told him and Lizzie.
"Alright what's going on?" Edwin asked Lizzie.
"Ralph loves Casey." She said.
"You're honorary step-sister?" Edwin asked "Dude, that is sick."
"Well I'm willing to give up honorary family status for her." Ralph said.
"Don't you have a girlfriend?" Lizzie asked.
"Yeah, but Casey understands me, and I thought she liked me too, and Derek seemed really encouraging, but now I think she's hiding from me. It's really confusing." He explained.
"Don't worry Ralph, we'll get to the bottom of this." She announced.
"Let's go Liz." Edwin tuned off the light. They squeezed out of the door.
"We so need a bigger meeting place." Lizzie said.
"Definitely." Edwin agreed. Edwin went into Derek's room and Lizzie went into Casey's room. Ralph saw Marti eating the breakfast he spent a lot of time cooking for Casey.
"Marti, that was for Casey." He told her.
"And it's delicious." She told him.
"Is there a supermodel waiting for me downstairs?" Derek asked Edwin.
"No."
"Is there a pizza waiting for me downstairs?"
"No."
"Then please tell me why you just entered without knocking." Derek wanted an answer.
"Because Ralph likes Casey and you encouraged him. How could you do that?" He asked.
"You have to ask?" Derek asked him.
"I can understand how you can do that to Casey but to Ralph? Alright, the guy's a stand-up dude and right now that stand-up dude is camped outside Casey's room and Casey's not coming out. This is just plain wrong." Edwin explained to him.
"If by wrong you mean hilarious then yeah, it's 'wrong'." Derek said.
"I like someone too." Marti told Ralph. They were sharing the breakfast originally intended for Casey.
"Oh yeah? Anyone I know?" Ralph asked.
"His name's Justin. He's really into puzzles." Marti answered.
"Crossword or jigsaw?" He asked.
"Jigsaw." She answered.
"Nice." Ralph said.
"So you're not interested in Ralph?" Lizzie asked Casey. They were both sitting on Casey's bed.
"No. And I know he's a really sweet guy, but he has an even sweeter girlfriend." Casey explained.
"Well you have to set him straight." Lizzie told her older sister. Casey sighed.
"I know I do. I just don't know what to say." She said.
"Just tell him the truth." Lizzie said.
Casey opened her door and saw Ralph sitting with Marti on the floor. "Hey Ralph can I talk to you in private?" She asked him. Lizzie went into Derek's room and told them what was going on.
"Sure." He answered. They went into Casey's room. Marti took the empty tray down to the kitchen.
"Ralph, I'm sorry if I made you think that I liked you but I don't." Casey said. They sat on her bed.
"Well you did. What are you saying, I'm confused." He told her.
Casey couldn't look into his eyes but she tried her best. She caught a small glance at them and felt pierced. "What I'm saying is that I don't know what to feel right now." She said. Her head started to move forward until Ralph's lips were touching hers barely.
Ralph kissed her but thought of Amanda. "But I thought you didn't like me." Ralph said after the kiss was over.
"I don't." Casey told herself.
"But why did you kiss me?" Ralph asked.
"I'm not sure." Casey said. They leaned in and kissed again. She felt her hands on Ralph's back and his hands on her hips. "Wait a minute." She stood up. "This is wrong. I don't like you; you shouldn't be in my room. Get out." She said before pushing Ralph out.
Ralph stood outside her door for a while. He pulled out his cell phone and called Amanda. It was her voicemail. "Amanda, hi, it's Ralph. I have some really bad news. I know you don't want to hear this. I'm breaking up with you, sorry." He hung up his phone."
Ralph and Derek watched hockey all day, he didn't talk about anything that happened. Casey stayed in her room all day. After dinner he knocked again. Casey tried to be sneaky in letting him in.
"Ralph I've been thinking and I decided how I feel." She said
"Well then tell me." He said.
"I think it would be easier to show you. But you need to co operate." She explained with a devilish grin.
"Sure, whatever." Ralph said, he was so clueless. Casey put Ralph's hands around her waist. Then she pulled her shirt on top of them and placed her hands on Ralph's shoulders.
"Now kiss me." She said softly. They tilted their heads in and began a series of kisses.
Casey was on her bed. The tickle of Ralph nibbling on her ear made her giggle. She was only wearing her sheets at this point. Same for Ralph. It was past her bedtime but she liked a little risk. Like giving herself to Ralph.
Surely the rest of the family was curious as to what happened between them, for all they knew he was gone wit Derek at the movies. They also believed that Casey was at the mall with Emily.
At first he was a little confused with her plan but decided to go with it anyway. Their bodies moved to a perfect rhythm. She fell asleep in his arms. The full moon shone though her room and everything was perfect in their hearts.
It was all perfect.