So practically everyone who read Al's Ways of Dealing With Ed wanted a sequel.
So my readers demand it, so shall it be.
Taylor Riley was a cat.
In all of the weird turns her life had taken, this one definitely topped the cake. And it wasn't even the good kind of cake. It was the kind that had been left out for days until it sprouted mold and that mold grew to be a living organism and obtained higher thought enough to form sadistic ideas of, "Hey, what kind of torture can I put Taylor through today?" And the layers just kept adding on. Whoever came up with the phrase, 'it's a piece of cake' should be shot and set on fire, because nothing in Taylor's life was a piece of cake. Not an ordinary cake anyway. Her cake was evil and hated her.
Why was Taylor's cake evil? Because being forced into a different world and into deadly, emotionally scarring situations wasn't bad enough. Because Truth decided to spit in her face and transform her into a cat! Well, it wasn't Truth's actions that actually turned her into a feline, but she had no doubt it was laughing its albino ass off at her predicament right now and that was all the reason she needed to blame it!
Truthfully, the blame fell on Al's shoulders. Unlike a month ago when Alphonse had transmuted his brother into a half kitty boy out of anger, this time he had done so by accident. And Taylor didn't even have the luxury of opposable thumbs. Oh noooo, she had to become a full blown cat! Small, lithe, fur covered body and all! She wasn't mad at Al. Well, she wasn't that mad anyway. She was furious with her shitty luck. She may have Irish blood running through her veins but the only luck it gave her was a knack for finding trouble.
Taylor sighed, as much as she could in her new form anyway. In front of her paced the very frantic suit of armor known as Alphonse. He was raving apology after apology and freaking out about the fact that Taylor was a cat. It was funny how Taylor was able to just sit there and watch him do so. You'd think she'd display a little more emotion. Oh, she had initially. Then, after about ten seconds, the shock wore off and she was resigned to the fact that the world(both hers and this one) hated her. Now she just wanted to kick the world's ass! That would be kind of hard to do as a cat though… Claws. She had claws now. And she would use them.
"It's okay, Al. Just calm down so we can figure this out," Taylor spoke but all that came out were a few meows. Meows! How frustrating and demeaning…
Fortunately, Al was something of a cat whisperer. Sensing her intended words, Al slowed down and sank into a nearby chair. The two of them were currently in a secluded section of the National Central Library. The three of them, her, Al, and Ed that is, had recently been looking into finding a way to send Taylor back home by researching into the arrays tattooed to Taylor's body. The trio had begun their research in Dublith with Izumi but after a week they needed more research material that only the well stocked library of Central could provide. And they'd only been here a day, Ed going to report in to Mustang, Al and her going to the library to bring books back to the dorm where they would meet up, and then this happened.
How did this happen exactly? Taylor wasn't exactly sure how it began but somehow the conversation between her and the armored boy had turned to cats. Al was describing his favorite cat, a breed that wasn't found anywhere in her world and was so hard to pronounce that Taylor dared not repeat it. He quickly found that it would be better understood if he simply showed her instead of trying to describe it. So he drew a circle on the floor of the library(with the full intention of erasing it afterwards, since Al was not by any means into vandalizing) and then he sat a small table in the center, planning to transmute the wood into a life-size figurine of the cat, show Taylor, and then return the table back to its original shape. …Then Taylor had to choose that moment to trip, knock over the table, and fall into the circle just as Al activated it. Sparks of blue alchemy later and there sat a ginger haired cat. It was by far the stupidest series of events Taylor could think of, but that was her life and her life loved to make her miserable.
As Al sat in one of the wooden, straight back chairs by the larger table holding their collected books, Taylor sat on her haunches, gazing forlornly at the pile of clothes on the floor next to her. "I feel naked," she whimpered. At least she had fur. It was good for one thing at leas- whoa! Her tail had rings in it! Darker shades of fur ran around her tail in thin ringlets, moving up the appendage and into her body fur to practically disappear. The lines of darker fur were still there, just really hard to see if you weren't looking.
And then Taylor thought, Why do I care so much about my fur? And directly after that question she pondered over the sheer oddity of those words. No person should ever need to wonder about their fur. Mostly cause people shouldn't have fur!
"I can't believe this happened," Al muttered. Taylor tuned back into the present, finding it almost difficult to focus on Alphonse's words because sounds were echoing in her large ears, smells were assaulting her nostrils, and she felt the need to flick her head in every direction to find out where all of the stimuli was coming from. Cats were very easily distracted, she was finding out quickly. "At least you're a pretty kitty?" Al tried.
Taylor hissed. She straight up hissed. The action alone made her shake her head rapidly and widen her eyes. That had felt…strange. And she felt the odd urge to repeat said action.
"Sorry," Al apologized for the umpteenth time, hanging his head in shame. After a few moments, he glanced back up at Taylor and appeared to be surveying her. "You can still understand me and everything, right Taylor?"
The ginger cat rolled her eyes, happy that she could still do that at least. Rather than attempt words again, she bobbed her head up and down to convey that, "Yes, I can understand you, thank you very much. Now turn me back? Now? Pretty please?"
"That's a relief," he sighed. "How do you feel? I mean, you're not in any pain, are you?"
Taylor stopped for a second to really think about it. When the transmutation had first started she had felt a tingling sensation, then something else… She guessed that whatever happened in the middle had been blocked out somehow, for which Taylor was extremely grateful. The process of turning into a cat sounded excruitiating and probably had been. She just didn't remember feeling much of anything. After the disorientation, she had sat up and then the realization that something was wrong dawned on her.
When Taylor finally shook her head in answer, Al said, "Alright. I suppose I should find a way to turn you back now."
Taylor gave him a look that said, "You think?"
Al read her perfectly and chuckled, "Okay then. I'm not sure how something like this could have happened…but if I use the right array I should be able to reverse it. I'm not sure what exactly to use. Perhaps a pentagon to enable more room for transferring carbon with water and…"
Her tail flicked in an annoyed manner. Yes Al, just keep talking about elements and geometric patterns and whatnot. I completely understand what you're saying. Usually she didn't mind when one of the boys went into alchemy talk, finding it almost funny at times. Not today. She was a cat and she was moody. Sue her, she was having a bad day.
"Brother should be back at the dorms soon. We can go meet up with him and come back to figure this out. I'm sure he'll figure something out!"
"NO! Al, if you love me you will not tell Ed that I'm a four legged ball of fluff!" Taylor begged. Of course, her pleas came out in a stream of screeching meows and hisses. In the end, she got her point across.
"You don't want Ed to know?" Al guessed correctly. "But why not? You know he'd want to help!"
Taylor lowered herself to the ground and covered her face with her paws, "Please, it's mortifying enough that I have to experience this. I don't need the humiliation of Ed seeing me like this too."
Al translated her pitiful sounding meows and stated, "You're…embarrassed?" Taylor's ears lowered in response, telling Al that he was correct. "Taylor, there's no need for you to be ashamed. Ed wouldn't think any less of you. In fact, he'd be so mad at me he wouldn't even think about it." A dark cloud loomed over him. "Maybe you're right. Maybe we should just keep this to ourselves. I don't want to face Brother's wrath."
Taylor perked up, "So our little secret, right?"
Al nodded, though more to himself than in answer. "Okay, we'll just have to-
"Excuse me," a voice interrupted him. Both heads turned to see a dark skinned library worker, hair tied back in a ponytail and chocolate eyes staring at both of them in a disapproving manor. She had been working there for many years and was used to seeing the Elric brothers around, just not accompanied by an animal. "Sorry, but you can't have pets in the building. Library policy."
"Oh…" Al said, at a loss due to his plans being derailed.
"I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
Alphonse, being the farthest thing from the confrontational type, hurriedly agreed, "Sure! We'll just be going then."
Without preamble, Al scooped Taylor up. She protested loudly, not liking being manhandled and complaining that she had legs damn it! She could walk! Al whispered an apology to her and quickly gathered the books they had collected, intending to check out. As Taylor watched the librarian check the books out for him, she assessed her new view and found that she rather liked it. In fact, if she could get onto Al's shoulder somehow, she would have a more un-obscured view of the scenery. Taylor wasn't sure why she wanted to, just that the urge to find higher ground was there and she was happy to oblige. So she maneuvered her limbs, awkwardly shaped but made for climbing, and shimmied up the best way she could. Using one of Al's shoulder spikes for leverage, she managed to crawl onto his shoulder. Her attention swiftly became occupied as she took in the many sights.
As they left, Al laughed, "You're just like a real cat. Any chance you would stay this way a little longer?"
Taylor gave a deep, rumbling meow, showing her displeasure.
"I'll take that as a no."
They made good time getting back to the dorm. As Al went inside, he called out for Ed, but found that he was not there.
"Guess he's still gone. I hope he didn't get in trouble with the Colonel," Al sighed. Taylor gave the equivalent of a kitty snicker. When wasn't Ed getting into it with Mustang?
Al sat both the books and Taylor onto the coffee table. The small cat turned to him, sitting down with her tail wrapped around her feet. "What now?" she asked.
"I'm going to have to go back to the library. It shouldn't take long, maybe a couple of hours. But I'm pretty sure what I need to look for," Al told her.
Taylor blinked at him, then glanced around the room as if to ask, "You're gonna leave me here? All alone?"
"I'm sorry, Taylor. But you heard the librarian. I can't take you with me."
"Then put me in your armor!" she retorted.
"I'll try to get back before Brother does. Until then, take care of yourself." Then he waved at her and went to leave.
"Alphonse!" Taylor screeched, dashing towards the door to stop him. However, she ended up falling off of the table due to her unfamiliar cat body. By the time she had picked herself up off the floor, Al was already long gone. "Fml," Taylor huffed.
For the next twenty minutes, Taylor acquainted herself with her new body. It was difficult to walk at first, the tail throwing her off, but soon she got the hang of it. She paced back and forth, again and again, until she wasn't wobbling like a drunkard cat. Something that was bothering her more than the tail were the…whiskers. Every time they brushed against something it made her nose twitch with the urge to sneeze. She did a couple of times. After sneezing for the fourth time she tried to rub the monstrosities with her paw to soothe them. The motion wasn't smooth enough for her liking so she licked the pad of her paw and rubbed it over her face and whiskers. When she did it again, she paused in mid swipe.
"Oh God…" she muttered. She lowered her paw back to the floor, deciding to push the incident far away into the recesses of her mind, because Taylor was a girl and not a cat. And girls didn't lick their paws to wash their faces. Therefore, Taylor had not just done so.
She was drowning in her denial when the door opened. Her reaction was spontaneous. Taylor darted over to the door, meowing, "Thank goodness you're back, Al. I'm losing my ever lovin' mind!"
"Damn it, how many times do I have to tell him not to pick up freaking strays?" an irritated voice said, one that was definitely not Alphonse.
Taylor stopped in her tracks, glancing up slowly in trepidation. There, in all his black, red, and golden glory was Edward, fisted hands on hips and eyes staring accusingly down at her. Behind him, the door swayed shut, ensuring no escape.
And a new cruddy layer to her cake of life had been added.
Don't you worry your pretty little heads, this isn't the end of things. I'll be adding two more chapters, making this story a three-shot. This originally was going to be a one-shot...but I got carried away with it. ^_^' Care to see just how carried away I'm going to get with this? Then stay tuned. I'll try to update soon.