Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
Chapter 1: New Hope
"Isabella Swan do you realize what you've done?" My mother's voice was hard, her tone implemented anger, but her tearful face indicated a different feeling; my mother was deeply hurt.
Her eyes were brimming with tears; it was miserable, seeing her so upset, because there was nothing I could do to comfort her now. My chances were up. I was the cause of her heartbreak, the source of the overflowing teardrops and the reason behind her wounded face. This was the most painful outcome of my inexcusable actions; watching my mother suffer; anything else I could bear; but my mother deserved more.
"Mom…." I started, but what was I to say? I couldn't tell her everything was alright, because sure as hell, nothing was looking good right now. I had always been the adult in the family; my mother was the kid and I the parent. I took care of her. I was responsible.
What changed then? I didn't know the answer myself. I guess I just sort of drifted down the wrong path. The irresponsible path. The reckless path. I got into trouble a good many times and after a particularly long suspension, quieted down a bit. And then I got back on my game. It was a different game this time; a new game. The objective of this game was to make a good, profitable income by encouraging certain pills to innocent high school kids. In other words, I was a drug-dealer.
I sold my drugs to students at school. I took them sometimes too, but on the other hand, I am not addicted……at least not completely. I had been struggling on taking my self-control to the next effective development stage for quite some time now, and it's going well.
However, I realized that encouraging others was probably worse rather than if I became an addict. I would never be able to suppress the overwhelming guilt etched permanently to my life for the damage I inflicted upon the lives of those kids. They were not to blame. It was my entire fault.
But the drug game wasn't exactly why I got expelled. In fact, the game was utterly safe and probably still being run by my group of trouble makers; without their brain, me. Apart from the group and the students involved, not a soul was aware of its operation right under the principal's nose. I got expelled due to theft.
A new, expensive kind of drug was available, which I wanted to introduce to my market and I didn't have enough cash, so I eventually started stealing school funds, only to be too easily found. I sucked at lying so I couldn't deny that I was guilty.
Luckily, I had a kind Principal who, after a brief talk with my mom, expelled me without further ado, involving no one and, to my intense surprise, never questioned me.
"I'm so sorry" I whispered to my mom, remorse rang in every word, "and I know that doesn't change anything but I think apologizing is the first step I need to take if I want to change for the better. What I did was wrong," I hesitated, paused and took a deep breath, "but why I did it was unforgivable". I could feel the shame on my face and I hung my head.
My mother sat still and stared at me with sore eyes; waiting for me to confess. I was so easy to read, she called me her open book. This characteristic made it all the much harder when I was doing wrong things. My body language gave everything away.
"What did you do?" she croaked, barely audible.
I wished desperately that I could spare my poor mother from what she was about to hear. But there was no loophole around this; I would have to cut my mother one last time before I could get anywhere near a fresh start. And I knew exactly what I had to do. I felt a wave of new hope wash over me as I thought about my plan. My mother would never be unhappy again and I would probably turn over a fresh leaf. I would only go back to my old ways if I seek a new beginning here; what I needed was to get away. I had some serious healing to do and I knew the ideal place. But I had a confession to make first………….
I collapsed into bed, exhausted with the day's events. I would sleep peacefully tonight. My chances weren't up yet. A new chapter awaits. I wasn't the rotten apple I feared I was. I haven't thrown my life away yet. I was going to my personal hell; and there, I would tend my wounds and heal. I fell asleep, smiling. And somewhere in my subconscious, I knew that with this new beginning, set high above the distant horizon, would be an unexpected turn in the course of my destiny.
A/N (Okay…….I thought it would be nice if Bella started out as a bad girl…….plizzzzzzzz review…..if u guys like it, I'll continue the story with chapters including the Cullens……)