hey pals ! its me, back again after 2482394 years ! basically i think i wrote this a couple of months ago when i was rly into this song so uhhh i wrote a fic for it ? the song is 'say you won't let go' by James Arthur. the fic loosely follows the lyrics of the song i think ? anyways, its my first time doing something like this bc i REALLY LOVED the song aaaaAAA hope u guys enjoy !
Say You Won't Let Go
-x-
"Your alcohol tolerance is pathetic," Sougo sneers down at Kagura, who turns to glare at him before promptly turning back and launching into another round of vomiting. "It's like you've never gone drinking before."
"I just turned of legal age; of course I haven't been drinking before! You idiot," Kagura huffs angrily.
A strand of her hair falls in front of her face and Sougo bends to tug it back into his hand.
"If you hadn't downed five shots in the span of two seconds, we wouldn't be here right now. In this stinky cubicle. I don't think they've washed it, ever," Sougo scrunches his nose in distaste.
"Gin-chan told me to do it. Stupid Gin-chan. Now my throat hurts," Kagura croaks.
"That's what alcohol does to you. You're supposed to ease into it."
"Whatever! Nobody told me. I hate this. I hate you," Kagura snaps.
"Oi oi, watch your mouth. Who's the one saving your oily hair from your vomit?"
"I didn't ask you to," Kagura responds.
"Yeah, well. Boss would've kicked my ass into the next century if I didn't," Sougo says. Actually, no, Gintoki wouldn't have, because everyone else was outside piss drunk and strewn all over the couches. No one noticed Kagura sneak away except for Sougo.
Sougo's eyes blur for just a moment and he kneels down beside Kagura, trying to regain focus. Damn. The alcohol was getting to him too. How much did he have? Only a couple of sips, surely.
"Everything's going funny," Kagura says weakly, "I don't feel well."
"You should get some rest. Don't you dare vomit in my hair, I will kill you if you do."
"You always say that, but you never do it," Kagura giggles softly. "You're weak as fuck anyway, but... if you really tried, you might be able to take me down. But you never take me seriously. Why's that?"
"Because I'm a policeman and killing someone is against the law," Sougo says dryly. Kagura falls towards Sougo, sweat beading her forehead. "You're heavy." Sougo grumbles, but allows Kagura to lean on him anyway.
Around five minutes pass without a single exchange of words. Just as Sougo starts to think that Kagura's fallen asleep, she says: "You're a pussy."
Sougo's mouth falls open in shock. It's the alcohol. It's the alcohol for sure. It better be the alcohol or he's going to slam her face into the toilet bowl and leave her in her own vomit, dammit.
"It's so obvious you like Nobume," Kagura breathes. She pushes herself off Sougo and grabs his face to pull him closer. She stares into his eyes, those sky-blue eyes peering into his. "Tell. Her."
"Okay, pretty sure you had next to nothing to drink," Sougo pries her hands off his face and holds them in between their crouched figures. He feels sly because he knows he's holding onto her for longer than usual, but he thinks this is probably the only time he'll get to hold Kagura's hands without it being awkward, so he figures 'screw it' and entwines their fingers.
"Are you going to confess to her?" Kagura asks, and Sougo goes to reply, but catches himself staring into her eyes for just a bit too long.
"Who, Nobume? No," Sougo answers.
"Pussy," Kagura reiterates. She pauses. "But that's good. That's okay. Don't do it." She falls back towards Sougo, and he catches her, wiping the sweat off her forehead and tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.
Definitely the alcohol, Sougo tells himself, but he knows he's lying. He tries not to think about her and her vibrant hair; her cheeky, teasing smile; her huge eyes, filled with curiosity and mirth unlike his own; dull and constantly tired.
Sougo has been aware, since a while ago, of the feelings that had been festering inside of him. He tries to shove it under a mound of other, more important things, because he can't risk losing their relationship. Weirdly enough, he'd started looking forward to their banters; the moments when he could tease her, and she'd get angry, or blush, and just tried to strangle him. Those were the only moments he looked forward to nowadays.
"God, here it comes again," Kagura groans. Sougo gathers her hair just in time before she unleashes another round of nauseating vomit into the toilet and half spills onto the toilet seat.
"It's a wonder you still have things to vomit," Sougo muses, earning a jab in the gut from Kagura.
"Okay, I think I'm done now," Kagura says. "Thanks for holding my hair."
"Didn't know that 'thanks' was in your vocabulary, China," Sougo teases.
"Shut up, sadist," Kagura wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, then gags. "Ew, gross. Vomit smells disgusting. Also, don't call me China."
"What are you gonna do, huh, China? Tell me, China," Sougo goads, leaping back with an easy grin on his face when she swipes at him drunkenly. Kagura swipes too hard, misses, and ends up falling. Sougo instinctively opens his arms to catch her.
"You're an idiot," Kagura says, but she smiles; a soft, gentle smile, rarely directed at Sougo. He feels his heart come to life then; thudding painfully against his chest, as though reminding him that he'd been alive all along these past few years. "Thank you though."
"No problem," Sougo replies in a mumble, heartbeat ringing in his ears. Because they're friends, and Sougo will never allow himself to risk it for anything more. He carries her out, kicking Gin on the way. "Oi, I'm taking her upstairs." Gin doesn't respond, instead sliding down even further. But as he's leaving, Sougo hears:
"You better not do anything to her. Not that you would. Chicken."
He carries her up the stairs, shifting her when she slides. He puts her down onto Gin's bed, attempting to tuck her in. But Kagura kicks off the sheets almost immediately.
"You should stay over," She whispers, when Sougo starts for the door.
He turns back. Kagura is staring at him sleepily, arm outstretched.
"No," Sougo decides, even though he really, really wants to stay beside her. He takes her arm and puts it back at her side. "No, I already told you. I think you should get some rest."
"Stop," Kagura grunts, clinging onto him.
Sougo bites his lips, slowly sitting down beside her. He strokes her forehead, giving her a flick when she peeks at him. Her eyelids flutter, sleep tugging at them.
"Don't go," She repeats, and this time, Sougo doesn't say anything. He simply strokes her forehead quietly. He stays there until his legs fall asleep. Gradually, Kagura's grip loosens, and he pulls himself free.
"Bye," He whispers, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
He makes his way carefully to the door and closes it quietly behind him.
"He emerges at last," Gin speaks up, and it takes Sougo by surprise, although he tries not to show it.
"Boss, that's sneaky of you, waiting to ambush me like that," Sougo deadpans, turning to Gin's shadow.
"You spent a long time in there," Gin observes.
"Well, what can you expect? She's clingy as hell and has the grip of ten thousand gorillas," Sougo shrugs.
"So you're just going to turn tail and run away? Again?" Gin crosses his arms over his chest skeptically.
"I thought you didn't want me to do anything to your precious daughter."
"Woah, woah. Who said anything about doing anything to her?" Gin raises his arms jokingly. Then his expression settles, and he sighs. "Well, it's your choice. I'm just an old man who's been watching his daughter watch a tax-collecting policeman too chicken to admit that he's been watching the Odd Jobs girl ever since they've met."
"I'm not too chicken, I'm just-"
"Scared, right?" Gin interrupts. "Scared you're going to ruin everything because of your greed. Scared that it won't turn out right, because you've seen people fall out of love, and it's every bit as painful as falling in love, so why bother? But let me tell you something. I've got an easy ten years on you, and I've seen people fall in love, out of love and for love. Yeah, it's painful when things don't work out. But you'll regret it if you don't give it a shot. If you don't give her a shot. Have more faith in her, won't you?"
"Y'know, this would be a lot more convincing if this had been from your personal experience," Sougo scoffs.
"Who says it wasn't?" Gin muses, smiling in a way that renders Sougo speechless. "I'm just saying; if you can't have faith in yourself, then have faith in her. She's been waiting all this time; don't let her down."
-x-
"You're an idiot," Kagura exhales, her breath warm on Sougo's lips.
"So are you." Sougo replies softly, and pulls her in for another kiss.
-x-
"Oi, get up China," Sougo says, shaking Kagura vigorously. Finally, her eyes flutter open and she stretches, all the bones in her body cracking.
"Here's your shitty wakame," Sougo holds out the breakfast he'd prepared. "It smells."
"You're an ass," Kagura replies, slapping him. "Wait, what time is it now?"
"There's twenty minutes to nine," Sougo answers, and he watches Kagura process the information. Just as she's about to flip his beautiful prepared meal right off the bed, he continues, "Don't worry. I'll take the kids to school, so you can rest your pretty little head. And pay me back later, okay, China?"
"Suck a dick," Kagura grumbles, but her cheeks betray her embarrassment. Sougo gets up to leave, but feels a tug at his sleeves. Kagura is puffing a cheek out, tilting it towards Sougo.
God, he thinks, pressing a kiss to her cheeks. He can't deny that maybe, his cheeks are burning too. He can't help but think about how lucky he is; how lucky he'd been on that night, all those years ago. Not that he'd let her know all these mushy thoughts. No, he's bringing them with him to the fucking grave.
He brings their child – a gorgeous five-year-old son, Kaito – to school, and drops him off with a smile and a wave. He watches Kaito's bright vermillion hair blow in the wind as he treks to class, tiny figure disappearing into his classroom.
He walks home, presses the familiar button the elevator and counts to eight – the elevator doors open and he steps onto his level. He fumbles for his keys and pushes them into the key slot, where they fit in so easily.
He opens the apartment door to the smell of freshly cooked rice. Throwing the keys into the bowl, he makes his way to the kitchen, where Kagura is swaying from side to side, humming some tune from one of Kaito's cartoons, probably.
"Oh, you're home. Welcome back," Kagura says, throwing Sougo a glance over her shoulder. "Why are you just standing there? Do you want some? I guess I could spare you some…"
"Haven't you already eaten?" Sougo hears himself. "I remember I woke up at the ass crack of dawn to cook you a huge, hearty meal. Surely you don't need to eat more right now, so you know what you should do?" He steps forward, spinning Kagura around to face him. He turns off the stove just to make sure. "You should hum that stupid song from the Sentai Rangers, and we should walk. But slowly. And in tune to the beat."
"Just say dance, you idiot," Kagura laughs, obliging.
They sway from side to side, together, occasionally stepping on each other's foot until it turns into a competition and they dart around the apartment playing footsies.
-x-
"You look as beautiful as ever," Sougo croaks, feeling his chest tighten when Kagura meets his eyes, cerulean on amber.
"I know," Kagura beams. "I better."
"Okita Sougo; please repeat after me."
Sougo hears himself utter his promises, but he finds himself lost in Kagura's beauty.
"Papa, say it properly!" Kaito scolds from the front row, prompting a round of laughter from the audience. Sougo clears his throat, embarrassment tainting his cheeks. He repeats his lines again, trying his very hardest to stay focused.
"You may now kiss the bride," He hears. He leans in to kiss his entire world – only to find himself hesitating within inches of her lips. Kagura looks at him, confused.
"You better not be getting second thoughts," Kagura jokes, giving him a playful shove.
"No way," Sougo replies. "You'll get tired of me way before I get tired of you."
"Hmm. Well, I guess you're going to be stuck with me forever then." Kagura whispers gleefully.
They kiss briefly and god, Sougo is glad he held on.
-x-
He is asked, "Aren't you scared of dying?"
"No," He answers honestly. He turns his head to stare out the window. "I mean, I guess when I was working as a policeman I was used to living every day as though it were my last. And then there was a period when I didn't want anything to end, and yeah, I guess I was scared of dying then. But not now. Not anymore."
"Why's that?"
"Because there is someone I want to see. And I miss her quite a bit."
"What if you get there, and she's not there?"
"Well, she better be. Because I told her to reserve a spot for me in the most luxurious villa, and if she didn't I'm going to kick her ass."
"I thought you loved her?"
"I do. She's the one I promised the rest of my life to. I promised her, 'till death we part', like in our vows. And it's boring without her, I guess. So it'd be nice to see her again."
"Okay. I'll- I'll see you later," The voice breaks, and Sougo hears a sniffle. He's already fading though; and he doesn't resist the darkness taking over his vision. "Love you, dad."
to clarify the last part:: uhh sougo uhhhh forgets stuff i guess, when hes older. and he doesnt realise that hes talking to his son but yeah! the last part was inspired by this gif of a lady which i cant rly remember now, but im p sure they said the same thing. i thought it was sad and sweet.
please leave a review n tell me what u thought about this ! thanks y'all!