The Meaning of Trust
After 26 years of service to the Cao family, Jia Xu's time is finally up. But before he goes, he wants to ask his Emperor Cao Pi to be sure of something. Jia Xu and Cao Pi friendship. Oneshot.
Jia Xu has never really cared much for anything.
Throughout his entire life, he has always been viewed as a criminal merely due to his past association with Dong Zhuo. He was never a man of high morals, and always placed his own life and safety above all else. He lived through some of the most chaotic times of the era and did everything he could do to preserve his life – not caring that others would detest him for it.
And that's the reason why he never held any particular loyalty to any masters he served, or is serving. He knew how even the most honorable of people would be corrupted over time with their ambitions, and he wouldn't hesitate to leave or even betray them should it ever place his life in danger.
Everybody knows this – and the only reason why they ever even tolerated him at all was his exceptional skills of strategy. He knew this, which was why he kept holding on the one principle of serving himself. That is, by trying to serve his masters as best as he could while also staying away from the spotlight and never doing anything foolish.
Which then brings him up to this point. After the incident at Wan Castle, he was recruited by Cao Cao as one of his advisors. And people around him never trusted him much – not that he was expecting much, anyway. 'As long as I do my job well, I'll be fine' is the motto he held on to during this time. And since Cao Cao was unlike Li Jue anyway, Jia Xu saw no reason to ever leave or betray him anytime soon.
And it was a relief to him, as well. He's been jumping around from lord to lord, and unlike what most people think, Jia Xu was tired of having to defect from or even betray his lords everytime they make a foolish decision that would endanger Jia Xu's life as well due to his mere association with them – even if they never personally attempted to endanger him. And so, when he finally landed at the service of Cao Cao, who never attempted to do anything as such, Jia Xu thought this is finally the place where he could live out the rest of his life in peace and work without any potential threat from his lord – as long as he didn't do anything funny, anyway.
And now, he's currently witnessing how the long-standing Han Dynasty crumbling before his eyes. To see how Cao Cao's son and successor, Cao Pi, forcing the Emperor to abdicate and replace the fallen legacy with his own. Jia Xu reminisced how he once helped the very same Emperor escape from his own master Li Jue at the time, and yet now he's supporting the very person who intends to usurp the kingdom for his own. But, again, times has changed. There's no need to cling onto what you did in the past, he thought.
And now, a celebration party is being held by the new Emperor Cao Pi in honor of the newly-formed dynasty, the Wei Dynasty. Jia Xu, in particular, were placed in a seat of honor along with Cao Pi's other advisor Sima Yi. Though he had no problem with it, he noticed how other people were staring at him in suspicion.
"Always the same thing,", he thought.
After all, even though Cao Pi respected his talents just how his late father did, Jia Xu knew that the one reason why he was placed in a seat of honor at all was because he helped Cao Pi gain his father's favour during the succession. Added with his already shady reputation, he understood why people would be irked by it – but what could he do?
"Tonight is indeed the greatest day in our life. The pinnacle of everything that my late father, had worked up to. The old, rotting notions of the old dynasty has passed on, and it is time for the new ones to take place. We are the people who will make changes upon this land! We will unify this land, under the rule of the Cao family that my father has established!"
"But of course, none of this would have happened, if it weren't for the hardworking loyalty of you people! The people who have supported my father up to his death….the people who have made this possible! So now! Celebrate yourselves! The new age has come!"
And all the officials present cheered and proceeded to engorge themselves in all the food and wine present, with the music and dancers accompanying the celebration. It was a truly lively party.
Jia Xu, on the other hand, was being his usual self, watching the ongoing celebration without any intent to join the fun. He was never fond of wine and stopped after approximately 2 drinks, spending the rest of the party watching the others having fun. As mentioned before, he never liked drawing attention from people and preferred watching from afar.
He turned to see his emperor Cao Pi speaking with Sima Yi. The sight made him contemplate about his service to Cao Cao and Cao Pi. He's been serving them for approximately 23 years now, and only he's just realized how old he's become at this point. Day by day, his stamina has been steadily decreasing, and over time he found how difficult it's become to even stand anymore.
He knew, that his time is almost up.
The party was finally over. When Jia Xu stood up to leave, suddenly he someone tapped on his shoulder. He turned and saw Cao Pi.
"Your Majesty?"
"Jia Xu….can we talk for a second?"
"Huh? But w-"
"Don't worry, it won't take long."
"…"
And so Jia Xu followed his Emperor, drawing the attention from the other officials, who proceeded to gossip about it.
"Hey, just look at that."
"Huh. His Majesty with that guy again?"
"What do you expect? He helped him become our late lord's successor, after all."
"Why else do you think he became the Grand Commander?"
Jia Xu rolled his eyes. He's become so used to hearing this kind of rumors to the point where they don't bother him anymore – if he was even bothered by anything, at all.
He and Cao Pi walked to the garden behind the palace. The cherry blossom trees were blooming, sending showers of petals carried by the gust of wind across the garden.
"So….Jia Xu. How long have you served my father?"
"Around 23 years if I'm not mistaken."
"Hmph…..right. You know, you truly served my father well. All of us knew of your immense talents. Without you, we wouldn't be here."
"Ahaha! …incredibly flattering, my lord. Though I'm not sure if I'm worth that much a praise."
"Don't be so foolish, Jia Xu. And even more so….I can't forget that you were the one who got me to where I am right now. Infact, you were the one who's been my teacher for all these 23 years. Think I'll discredit you from that?"
"Your Majesty, I understand that. But still, I'm sure the others have contributed much more than me."
"Jia Xu, you underestimate yourself too much. Look, you're fooling nobody. You have this kind of 'don't-care' attitude but I know you're always scheming for your next plan. Isn't that right?"
"…Your Majesty?"
"….look, Jia Xu. I am aware that a lot of other people who served under my father have done great service to him. I'm not discrediting that. They have their rewards. But…..you see…..as I said before, you are the one who's been guiding, teaching me since I was very young. You understand me."
"….."
"And so….now that I've built this new dynasty, I expect you, as my Grand Commander, to be the one who will direct this kingdom to greatness."
Jia Xu was shocked at the words. "You….are counting on me?"
"Yes, of course! Like I said before, you are the Grand Commander, and my advisor as well. Youw ill help me to direct this kingdom, to be the one to unite this land."
"But….how about Sima Yi? He seems to be far more intelligent than I am. Since he's still young, he's far more promising than I am."
Cao Pi scoffed. "Sima Yi….yes, he's indeed talented. No wonder my father chose him. But the thing is, he's too ambitious. I know that should I ever let me guard down, he would certainly try some way to betray me. And I know that you wouldn't dare do any of those sort to me."
"Hah….that's correct."
"Look, Jia Xu, just stop worrying. This is your responsibility now. I have my faith on you. I know that you won't disappoint me, just like how you did under my father."
"….."
And all of a sudden Jia Xu felt his legs becoming weak. He almost fell, with Cao Pi only barely catching him one breath away from the ground.
"JIA XU!"
"Gasp…..ahhh…hah…."
"Jia Xu! Are you….are you alright?"
"…Your Majesty…..ngh….."
Cao Pi looked at Jia Xu with shock. He helped Jia Xu to stand up, though he almost fell the first time, he was finally able to stand properly again.
"Jia Xu….I…"
"It's alright, Your Majesty. I….thank you for trusting me. And-"
"Enough. You, just….go home and take a rest."
"…..thank you, Your Majesty."
Inside his own estate, Jia Xu spend the rest of his day laying on his bed, largely due to Cao Pi's advice. He remembered when he fell and Cao Pi picked him up.
The thing was, he experienced the same exact thing before, 13 years ago, with his friend Guo Jia. Only that time, Guo Jia was the one who fell and he was the one who picked him up and helped him stand up. It was too surreal how the situation was reversed for him.
"….heh. So….I can't believe it's come to this, huh. So...is this what you've felt all that time...Young Master?"
Around 2 years later, a council was held by Cao Pi to discuss his plans on attacking Wu and Shu. He asked Jia Xu, directly, "I'm intending to finally getting rid of these two pests that have been bothering me under my feet for too long. Which one shall be conquered first?"
"My lord, it is currently unwise to advise attacking against either one of them."
"With our strength? Is that so?"
"Even with our talented officers, we are simply no match for them. The best thing to do at this moment is to focus on civil matters. Build our state first form the inside, and upon seeing how strong we've become….they will submit without us even trying."
"Hmmmm…..that doesn't sound like a good plan. Anyone else?"
After rejecting Jia Xu's advice, many other officials offered their own plans, mainly supporting Cao Pi's plan to invade Wu and Shu. Jia Xu could only sigh. Having his advice rejected certainly wasn't the first time for him, as Cao Cao too, once rejected his advice regarding invasion at Wu at Chibi. Of course, everybody knew how that one went out, but at least he did his part. Knowing what happened to Xun Yu, he never tried to impose his own advice to others. He did his job, and it was his Lord's decision whether to follow or not.
The meeting was over, and Cao Pi decided to launch the attack after all. Before Jia Xu stood up to leave, Cao Pi called him.
"Jia Xu."
"Hm? Your Majesty?"
"You….are you okay now?"
"Me? Haha…I…I'm fine."
"Is that so? Don't lie to me. Especially 2 years ago after that celebration party, I'm starting to get really worried about your health."
"Ahaha…..thanks a lot for your concern, my lord. But really…I suppose I'm fine now, I guess."
"I'm serious, Jia Xu. You should take more rest."
"Hm, thanks. But as I said before, it's really nothing too serious. Now, if you would excuse me."
And so Jia Xu took his leave, with Cao Pi still watching him go, sometimes worried that Jia Xu would suddenly fall down. He could see Jia Xu's legs trembling constantly as he tried to continue walking.
"Sigh…"
And so Jia Xu arrived back at his own home. He sat down and sighed while remembering what happened.
"Huff…why? Why….did I say that to him? He already knows that I'm pretty much going to die in a short time, anyway. So….why did I say that I'm okay, as if he didn't know?"
Again, all of this reminded him back again of his old friend, Guo Jia.
"Young Master….you don't look so good."
"Huh? No…I'm fine."
"Is that so? You've….been looking unwell these days."
"I can assure you, there's nothing to be worried."
"Is that so…"
He laughed bitterly at it. "Heh….hahahaha….ahahahahaaa…..oh…..really…..this….this is how it finally turns out, eh….Young Master?"
Indeed, his condition grew even worse day by day. He is now unable to properly stand up without some kind of support, his breath became increasingly shorter, and more often than not spend most of his days on his bed instead.
And so, when his Emperor Cao Pi launched went on the campaign against Wu, he was unable to come and was even unable to inform his Emperor about it.
"Sigh….he'll surely be angry with me when he comes back…oh well. I just hope he will win and prove me wrong this time…."
Several months later, someone suddenly visited him inside his estate.
"Hm? Who is it?"
While still being in bed, he was so surprised upon seeing none other than his Emperor Cao Pi himself.
"…Y-your Majesty?!"
"Jia Xu. I…..I hope I'm not coming in at a bad time-"
"N-no it's alright! Ehm…."
Cao Pi sighed and took a seat beside Jia Xu's bed.
"So….how was the campaign?", Jia Xu asked. Cao Pi took a long, deep breath and said, "We've lost."
Jia Xu was silent. Even though he had hoped for Cao Pi to prove him wrong by winning against Wu, deep down he knew that he was going to fail anyway. It was to be expected. Still, he tried to not make it very obvious.
"Is that so?"
"Yes."
"I'm…..sorry for that."
"No, you don't need to. Infact, I should be the one to apologize to you. Because I disregarded your advice."
"What? No, there's no need to!"
"Yes there is! Due to my own blindness, I ignored your advice, which you have proved time and time again to be always accurate. And so….I failed, just like my father did."
Jia Xu was silent again.
"…well, if you say so, then."
"Right….."
And all of a sudden, Jia Xu coughed hard.
"Jia Xu! Are you okay?"
"Akh….I'm….I'm fine….ngh…."
"…."
The two became silent for a while, before Cao Pi spoke, "Jia Xu, I….I'm sorry."
"Huh? For what?"
"Back then, during the celebration party, I was so excited with the fact that now I'm an Emperor of the Wei dynasty, who will unify this entire land under my rule and end this mad struggle for years. Especially with you aiding me as my Grand Commander and advisor. Until I saw you, and realize just how short time you actually have now. And I…..feel so foolish."
"Your Majesty….."
Ever since that day, Cao Pi has always taken his time to visit Jia Xu everyday, who became increasingly sicker to the point of being completely bedridden. And even then two don't talk much beyond simple conversation regarding state affairs.
Despite that, everytime he comes to visit, Jia Xu could see concern and worry in Cao Pi's eyes, the kind of which he never saw before in his life. And also fear. The fear that Jia Xu's death is near and inevitable. The fear that Cao Pi was never going to see him again.
Until one day, specifically August 9th, 223.
"Jia Xu."
"Your Majesty."
"I hope I'm not coming in at a bad time."
"Oh, it's alright."
And then Cao Pi took a seat beside Jia Xu's bed and accompany him until dusk.
It has always been that way for two of them for all these days. And now, both of them knew that Jia Xu likely won't make it to next week.
So before he goes, Jia Xu wanted to make one thing clear between him and Cao Pi.
"….Your Majesty."
"What?"
"I know it might be kinda late to say this, but….I thank you for all the time you spared just to visit me alone."
"Yeah, well….don't mention it."
"Heh….it's funny. None of my previous lords ever even cared for me this much."
"Well, because I care for you. What else should be the reason?"
"Care for me…..heh. Is that so, Your Majesty?"
"Huh?"
"After all….everyone has always thought of me as a bad person. And well…I can't exactly blame them. I've done so many bad things in my life solely to preserve my life, and I never hold any particular loyalty to any of my lords….and you know this. And the only reason why I was even tolerated at all is because of my talents. And talent is something that is pretty much replaceable, right? There…there's surely more people out there who's far more capable than me. Like Sima Yi. So….so why do you even care for me this much if I'm pretty much going to be replaced by a much better strategist, anyway?"
"What?!"
The question sent Cao Pi furious enough to immediately yank Jia Xu's wrist.
"AH!"
"You…are you out of your mind, Jia Xu?!"
"What?"
"You….are you seriously implying that I ONLY care about your talents?!"
"Well, what else would be the reason?"
Cao Pi stared into Jia Xu's eyes with a look of utter disbelief in his eyes. "…..tch."
He let go of Jia Xu's wrist. "You…..are you seriously this ignorant, Jia Xu? All these years we went through together….and you still don't get it?"
"…."
"You…..you are more to me than just an advisor, Jia Xu. You've been with me ever since I was just a young child. You taught me the ways of strategy, taught me how to survive against all odds…..you know me. And I know you."
He held Jia Xu's hand again. "It's true that I do value your talents. Immensely infact, but….that's not all. You are my friend, Jia Xu. Is that not enough reason to care?"
Jia Xu's eyes widened and looked at Cao Pi's eyes. "Your Majesty…."
"And it's true that you have a lot of faults….but then again, who doesn't? It doesn't really matter. We understand each other. And you cared for me first, always patiently teaching me to survive in these chaotic times….isn't it the same with how you cared for Guo Jia?"
The mention of Guo Jia's name sent a whole discourse of memories to Jia Xu. It was true that Guo Jia was the only one within Cao Cao's army to trust Jia Xu, and Jia Xu himself also ended up caring for him beyond respect to the late strategist's talents. He felt ashamed how his cynicism made him doubt the genuine concern his Emperor gives him.
Jia Xu smiled sadly. "Heh…..heheheheh….I really am a fool, eh. For all of my life I always thought that talent is really the only thing worth a criminal like me. I thought that adopting that mindset would help me preserve my life…..but it also made me doubt the genuine kindness the others have shown to me. I did the same thing even to the late Young Master, but even though I started to drop it over time…..ever since his death, I never thought that other people would even care for me not just for my talents. And that….is the only thing I ever regretted."
Jia Xu sighed. "It has been a long way for me. A long journey, with a lot of things I've been through that I only barely survived. To finally end up to the Cao's service, and die in it….is truly a relief." He turned to Cao Pi. "Your Majesty, truly…..I thank you for everything."
He looked upwards and started to cry. "Young Master….I guess….I'll see you soon….."
3 days later…..
Cao Pi was seen visiting a grave. He walked up to it and said, "I….am deeply sorry I wasn't there yesterday. There was a lot of work to do, and…..and I was there when it was too late. I hope this visit qualifies as a proper apology. So, I did what you told me. Sima Yi indeed does have promise. But as I said before, I have to keep an eye on him lest he does something against me behind my back. Still, now that you're gone….he's the next best thing I have."
He sighed. "But now….the thing is…..I want to say thank you…erm, I know that it's a little bit too late to say it. I….never had a chance to say this properly when you're still alive…..and I deeply regret that. I'm sorry. But better late than never."
And all of a sudden, a voice called out to him, "Your Majesty!"
Cao Pi turned to the source. "Sima Yi."
"Your Majesty, there'll be a council soon, right?"
"Ah…yes. Give me a minute. So, yeah, as much as I hate it, I have to make this short. But, yeah. Thank you."
And then Cao Pi turned and went away. "Who was it, Your Majesty?"
"Really? You don't know?"
"Oh…..it's Master Jia Xu, isn't it."
"Thought you knew earlier."
"Hm, right…..by the way, I seemed to have interrupted your…..private conversation with him."
"Oh, it's alright."
"What was it that you talked with him? A final greeting?"
"….none of your business."
"Oh, forgive me for my impropriety, Your Majesty."
"Well, don't do it again. Let's go."
"Right."
So the two went. However, Cao Pi stopped to turn and look at the grave one last time, and smiled.
"Well…..I hope I won't see you soon."
Then he continued walking away. Then, a petal of cherry blossom was seen landing on that very same grave, which reads as follows:
JIA XU 'WENHE'
THE SOLEMN MARQUIS
147 – 223
THE END
HIYA GUYS! BACK AGAIN FROM THE DEAD! Seriously, I should just be a goddamn zombie at this point for going on hiatus and coming back from the dead only to give a half-assed oneshot then go back to being dead again….*SMACK!*
But, well as you can see here, I wrote this oneshot as a tribute to my all-time favorite Jia Xu, on his death date of August 11th! A year ago I did it by writing a special chapter for Jia Xu Answers Letters (still can't believe it's been ONE YEAR! Damn, time does fly!), but here I gave a more serious one. If you're a Jia Xu fan like me, I hope you enjoyed it.
A bit irrelevant, but I am seriously really REALLY hyped for DW9, like most of you guys do. As the time of this writing, Koei hasn't revealed Jia Xu's new design yet, but I was already worried what weapon they'll give him that they already gave Gan Ning the scythe this time around. Whatever weapon is fine, really, as long as they kept him having ninja-like weapons and moveset.
Oh well. Here's to hoping Koei doesn't fuck Jia Xu up.
As always, please leave a review and have a good day!