"Hello, brother." Thor said in a tone he hoped was optimistic and with an attempt at his royal sunshine smile that probably came off more like gritted teeth. He grimaced at the way his voice shook and for some reason behind him he couldn't get the stiffness out of his posture no matter how hard he tried. Why? Why was it so hard to visit his own brother? Why did Loki always give him that betrayed, suspicious look every time he entered to visit him, couldn't he just visit Loki? He was his brother after all. And most of all, why was Loki correct and the only times he ever visited was when he was here for a specific purpose?
Pain. Pain, pain, pain, it was funny how if you said a word enough times it lost its meaning, whether you said it in your head or out loud. And in fact after a while of screaming in your head and out loud but neither getting any response or reaction and both sounding so loudloudLOUD to you then you forgot how to tell the difference between whether you were speaking or thinking. In fact everything started to fade into nothingness, lines blurring, shapes changing. He didn't know if he could tell anything for certain anymore.
But back to the pain. What did pain mean anymore anyway? It had become Loki's world. It was so many things to him now. It was the loathed thing he despised and knew was coming when the figures appeared outside his cell, he would try to back away, his chains and the walls stopping him as he begged and screamed for the bringers of pain to have mercy.
It was a welcome ally that helped him fill the empty darkness with something, something inside the endlessness. Something to hold onto, a companion he could welcome with open arms and laugh. It was a friend to him, when the bringers of pain didn't come but the pain still pounded inside his head he would call for his friend pain and it would always come for him, it would never desert him, never leave him alone as Loki used his nails, his teeth, the surfaces of his cell to call for him and his friend was there, making all the pain disappear by bringing more pain.
It was what kept him going, kept him alive and yet kept him from living. When he was starving and his stomach was empty of anything but acid, pain was there, filling him to the brim until he was full and didn't need to fill himself with food. Every breath he took filled him with pain, passing through his throat and burning in his lungs. Pain was everywhere, in his mind, when me moved, when he slept, when he woke, cried, laughed, gave up, fought, dreamt, hoped it was everything. That's what pain was, everything. A brilliant, terrible force that was there and always would be and Loki had no right to question it.
Loki almost laughed to himself, and maybe he did he didn't know, this wasn't good enough! This sentence, this punishment. He was supposed to think about what he'd done but didn't they see the pain was stopping him from doing so? He had to take it into his own hands, he had to make a massive conscious effort to think about all the evil, unforgivable things he had done. It would have been so easy for him to just become a slave of the pain and that would give him peace. Free you from freedom, he thought and let out a hysterical laugh in his head that echoed through the room.
It wasn't enough to just think of what he remembered doing because he didn't witness the extent of the damage he had caused, he didn't see every person he had hurt or killed, every home he had destroyed. Every life he had torn apart. And so he used his magic to play like a tape in his mind every single death, every injury, every piece of damage. It showed him the ongoing pain that continued far past the death of a loved one, it showed him the horror of having to live with a terrible injury and abilities snatched away, it showed him the millions spent trying to give people their homes back. And most of all it showed him the hate, anger, disgust and so many more horrible but justified feelings directed at the single man who was responsible for all this destruction. Him. It was all him.
With his magic… oh yes, he had his magic. Even though he had been sentenced to have his magic taken away he still had it. The fools, didn't they know that they can't take his magic away without killing him? It was him. It was like draining one of his brother's precious mortals of their blood, it keeps them alive, it is them and they cannot live without it. They couldn't take away Loki's magic, death was too easy. Too swift and merciful, no matter how horrid they made the execution, for a monster like him.
That's why this punishment was chosen for him. At first he had felt so angry, so betrayed by the only family he'd ever had that they would let this happen to him without even visiting him once, they hadn't even looked affected in any way as he was pulled screaming and fighting down into what was surely his tomb. Buried alive, he was buried alive, he couldn't breath, the soil was getting in and he couldn't breath or see in the darkness, he couldn't move with the casket so tight around him. Somebody help…! But he was still there in the white cell with its glowing walls. How silly his mind was, playing pranks on him. He used to play pranks on people, was this how they'd felt?
He had been so angry and betrayed by his family but now he was grateful. They'd let him see! They'd let him see what a monster he was, how evil and worthless and unloved he was. And he was so grateful, he was finally free of the lies. Of the lies that they all told him, that he was loved, that he was Thor's equal, that he was a part of the family, a brother a son. He was relieved that the lies were gone and he was here in his cell with his pain and the revelation of truth now that his family had decided to stop lying to him.
They never visited. Odin, Thor, mother… oh. He mentally added his mo- his not-mother to the list of the people he'd killed. He let out a laugh and a desperate sob before a sneer. He then collapsed back against the floor. He wondered how many minutes had passed since he started the train if thought. Maybe no time at all had passed since he had first been chucked in here, maybe centuries had passed and his cell was lost and forgotten. Did it matter how much time had passed when he was going to be here for eternity?
Someone was coming. Loki's eyes snapped open. When you spent so long with the exact same surroundings and nothing else, you could tell if something had or was changing. So yes, someone was definitely coming. A whimper escaped Loki's lips before he could bite it back. The only people who ever came were the pain bringers, the bringers of pain with their devices of pain that would make Loki scream and feel new extents of agony he hadn't known to exist. But he steeled himself and kept from showing any emotion, staying in his position propped up against the wall.
It was… who was it? A bringer of pain? It could have been and yet no more pain came. In fact, some pain disappeared as this… man, he was almost certain it was a man, removed something from above his head. And then he started to move closer. Loki's eyes went wide and he started to panic, backing away but there was nowhere left to move to. The man ran a hand over Loki's lips which caused the young prince to wince in pain but also become aware that his lips where closed and there was something on them… he frowned as he tried to think back but there was nothing in his memories but pain.
There was a metallic swish and Loki's heart started to pound as he saw the man was carrying a knife, he whimpered but the sound was muddled by his closed lips. He felt a small victory at finally knowing all the screaming must have been in his head since his lips are blocked but this came with an added confusion of what was blocking his lips, when it got there and why it hurt. The man walked closer and brought his knife closer, it triggered more memories of pain which made Loki screw his eyes shut.
They snapped back open as pain flared in his flesh, the knife cutting through the end of whatever was blocking his mouth and the skin around it too. The man with the knife held onto the end of something, was that string? And started to pull. When he did Loki started thrashing wildly in his restraints. It hurt, it hurt more than he could handle, more than he could take and the man wasn't stopping. Couldn't he see he was hurting him? Why won't he stop! Loki would beg but no sound was escaping. He knew he must be crying as the pain kept on increasing and another weird sensation, like bugs crawling beneath his skin, blended with the pain.
…And then it stopped. Not the pain, that never stopped, but the weird sensation stopped, so did the man's pulling of the thing he could now see was definitely string. Loki eyed it with horror, that had been what was binding his skin? But how had… his thoughts were cut off as a memory came back. Him tied down to a table screaming and begging but none of the many people around him were listening. It was agony but the more the needle dipped in and out of the delicate flesh around his lips the less he could scream. The horror and panic that refused to go away after they had finished and he couldn't move his lips. The blood streaming down his face.
With a gasp Loki was brought back to the present. He looked around but the man with the knife was gone and he was alone again. A gasp? Yes, he could move his lips again! He tested the new found ability, grimacing when it made the pain increase. Someone else was coming, Loki noted with a frown. Who this time? We're they coming to sew his lips back closed?
The door opened for a second time and he had to fight his impulse to sneer, it was Thor. He didn't know why he had this reaction. He had come to terms with his 'family's betrayal and decided it was for the best and that he must thank them so why did he want to lash out? "Hello, brother." The relief at a change of scenery and the sound waves emitted from something other than himself that felt like music to his ears all turned bitter at the words. Brother? Lies! The lies were back, was that why Thor was here? To torment him more? But then of course he was here for that. That's all Loki was now, not a prince, not the son of the King of the frost giants but a monster, an inhuman beast that was only alive for the purpose of being tortured for his sins. Loki felt like laughing and maybe it was a sign that there was still a little left of the man he used to be that he bit this back, not wanting the humiliation of Thor seeing how broken he was.
Thor frowned as he took in his little brother's appearance. He was certainly thinner than he could remember ever seeing Loki before. His eyes were vacant and lacked the intelligence and mischievous sparkle that made those ice blue-green eyes his brother's. Loki had always been pale but his skin that usually resembled delicate porcelain now, combined with his protruding bones, made him look skeletal. Although what worried him the most was Loki's complete lack in response and the way he appeared to have given up. For the first time since Thor had properly considered this plan was he fully sure of himself.
He thought back to when he had approached his father about it. Naturally when Loki had gotten the sentence of solitary confinement in the deepest parts of Asgard prison with no human contact whatsoever for the rest of his days he had been horrified. He kept trying to convince himself that his brother deserved it but he just couldn't, no one deserved that! And ever since he had been thrown in there, Thor had been trying to come up with a way he could either help Loki escape or convince his father to change his punishment. Plans had always been Loki's thing so he probably had taken a lot longer than his younger brother would have had the positions been changed.
How long had it been since Loki had gotten locked up? Years had passed, it was somewhere between the third and fourth now. The thought made Thor shiver with horror, nearly four years without human interaction whatsoever. But then of course Loki did deserve the punishment no matter how much it made Thor squirm. This is why he wasn't a prison guard, he would never have the strength to condemn people to such fates. And he certainly couldn't let this be the rest of his own brother's life.
So it was with great enthusiasm that he had finally come up with a plan that may just work. He had thought out every detail, determined to have a contradiction and come back for every single thing that could come up. And with his head running through all the details and his nerves on edge Thor had gone to his father. He couldn't help but think, on that walk from his private chambers to his father's consulting rooms, that if his mother was still alive she would never have let Loki befall this fate. He had to mentally slap himself. Mother wasn't alive and nothing he could do would change that.
Maybe she had been too soft on Loki anyway, maybe if she had disciplined him better and not let him get away with so much then Loki would be a bit less reckless and unruly. He mentally slapped himself again, no. This wasn't Frigga's fault, it wasn't any of their faults. They all did their best by Loki and should not blame themselves for how things ended up, only do their best for Loki's good still. And that's what he intended to do.
"Father." He had greeted, getting down on a knee in a low bow until he was beckoned forward to speak with him, it wouldn't do any harm being as polite as he could before voicing his requests. "What is it, Thor." Odin asked, looking at him with curiosity and a bit of apprehension. Thor gulped and bit his lip before starting to talk, it was now it never. "I… father, I can't stand back and let Loki suffer this fate, I simply can't!" Odin raised an eyebrow and in that moment Thor felt like the pressure of the nine nine realms was on his shoulders but he didn't cave. This was for Loki, he had to do this.
"I know this is hard for you, Thor, as it is for me. He is our family after all. But do not forget what he has done, he cannot get favours just because of the status of his family. He must learn the wrong of his ways and he punished justly for his actions." Thor bit his lip but continued "I know, father, and I am not proposing that he gets let or easily merely that he stops with the punishment he is currently undergoing. Solitary confinement for the rest of his existence," was it Thor's imagination or had Oren shifted slightly at those words? "Is neither called for nor a sufficient way of punishing Loki!"
Odin's eyes narrowed "This punishment was given to Loki after a careful evaluation of all of his crimes as a way to best deal with him, you propose a better way of punishing him? I must remind you that this is not just a matter left to you and I and it's not even confined to the laws of Asgard anymore, the idiot boy made his a matter for different planets too, Jötunheim, Earth. The people of Asgard will cause havoc if I let Loki go unpunished or of softly but the Frost Giants will cause war, the state of affairs is delicate enough."
Thor was now very glad that he had thought this out as carefully as he did "I know, father, and I took this all into consideration. Solitary confinement is a good way to give someone time to think about their wrong doings and the errors in their ways but after a point it becomes repetitive and only becomes a type of torture and eventually insanity. By now, after almost four years time, Loki will have come to terms with it all as much as he is going to and no amount of time will increase this when it's already reached a maximum.
"More time in solitary confinement now is pointless, to extend this he needs either a chance to prove he's changed his ways and is sorry or to make things up with/face some of the people he has wronged the most or both these things even. And as you say, Loki made this a matter for not just Asgard. Sending him to be punished in Jötunheim would be execution and we have already decided against that. But he hasn't faced any justice from the people of Earth despite the fact that it was there he commuted his crimes."
With relief Thor could see Odin was starting to listen and be moved by his words. It greatly pained him every ill word he spoke of his dear brother but he couldn't afford to be seen as trying to get Loki out of punishment. Although, was that not what he was doing? All Thor knew was he could not continue to live each day knowing that his brother was suffering unspeakable discomfort which he couldn't begin to understand. But at least he hadn't gotten a torture sentence, Thor thought to himself.
"So what is it that you propose, Thor? Since only you, me and Heimdale are witnessing this conversation I must admit that I really hope you have come up with a sentence that will not be so cruel but will still be as thorough, son." Odin's words brought a warmth and sort of relief to his heart knowing that Odin too didn't like his youngest son's fate despite the fact he appeared so cold towards it.
With a new round confidence and a creeping excitement he didn't want to humour that he might actually succeed, Thor continued to speak his ideas "I think it would be wise in all areas that must be considered in this situation that Loki is handed into the hands of the Midguardians. Of course, normal human law forces would be no match for Loki but being confined in a cell again would have the same effect as him remaining here.
"Therefore, I propose he is left in the hands of the Midguardian group 'the Avengers' of which I am a part of when required of me. They were themselves greatly affected by Loki's attack and were the main role in apprehending him. Due to this they can both handle Loki and deserve to be delayed by Loki. Loki may live in their current residence 'Stark Tower' where he can display to us his changed ways and pay back to them in the ways they deem fit what he is indebted to them. I can be present there to be sure of Loki's safety from them and their safety from Loki as well as witnessing first hand his new ways. If he proves not changed by displaying violence he and I cannot justify then he can either be punished in some way or put back in solitary confinement for a length of time before he once again has to display if his ways are changed." He looked up hopefully after finishing.
Odin sighed then chuckled "You really have thought this out well. Despite what you may think you will make a good King, Thor, and I am very proud of the way you have handled this situation." He was silent for a moment as he considered, and in that one moment Thor felt more desperate than he had ever done in his life "Alright, I accept this and hereby change Loki's sentence." Thor let out a breath of relief and felt almost high but Odin was quick to continue "However, if Loki does not show that he has changed his ways then he will be punished severely and I cannot change that. You understand the responsibility that lays upon you, Thor?" Thor nodded eagerly "Yes, father, I do and I accept it." Odin nodded "Very well, you may go collect your brother. You have until the end of sunrise tomorrow to collect Loki and gather both of your belongings and get ready in general.
"Oh, and Thor," He paused from where he was starting to walk away and looked back at his father "I expect that once every week, it matters not the day, both you and Loki come back for at least an hour to Asgard to report how things have been and also so that you do not become alienated from your own people and their ways. Come to me tomorrow before you leave, I wish to bid you farewell and wish you both luck."
Thor nodded with a smile at his father "Yes, father." He said before turning and walking directly down to Loki, hoping very much that he did not mess this final chance up. And that's how he found himself now standing, observing his younger brother wondering how he was supposed to tell him all this and how he would take it.
Odin fell back in his chair after he watched his son leave, running a weary hand over his face. How had it all gone to Hel so quickly? Thor's words still rang through his ears 'solitary confinement for the rest of his existence' oh if only the sentence he had given his son had been so soft, if only the people would have been sated with such a mild punishment. "Guard." He called and a guard walked into the room instantly "Go down to the deepest prison vaults and free the prisoner of his bonds as well as making sure no one is going down there today. My son is going to retrieve the prisoner." As the guard left Odin could only hope that Loki's cell was cleared before Thor arrived.