Jess tells Nick she doesn't use toilet paper in the episode Cece Crashes. This is just a continuation of the hilarious antic that Jess has caused.
"I'm telling you Cece, it's no big deal. Just kick him out." Jess spoke into her phone. "Listen, I got to go; the guys are being really loud, bye."
Peering around the corner outside her bedroom, she saw Nick arguing with Schmidt and Winston.
"What do you mean we don't have any toilet paper left?" Winston screamed in a hissy fit. "You realize I, one; have no job. Two; have no money to spend and three; have no place of employment."
"That's one thing." Schmidt interrupted before Nick could respond.
"I didn't think we'd be short. But I guess Jess not buying any was worse than what I projected." Nick replied in his defense.
"Why is she not buying toilet paper anymore?" Winston asked pacing around the kitchen.
"Well, I thought it wouldn't be right if Jess had to buy toilet paper every month or so."
"And why is that? Don't be going all googly eyes on her dude! You know we have a system for this; we each take turns buying a few rolls every week!" Winston pointed out giving Nick the 'I am not fooling around here' stare.
"Waite." Nick hesitated. "Why do we not have enough?"
"I guess you should ask Jess." Winston pointed in the general direction of Jess's room still unaware of her presence. "If she would have bought some like she was supposed to, we would not be in this predicament. Now why would she all of sudden stop buying it on her week?"
"Because I told her she wouldn't have to. I mean it's not really fair." Nick responded shrugging his shoulders
"What the heck man! How has this anything to do with fair?" Winston asked peering over at Schmidt as he attempted to roll paper towels around the bare cardboard toilet paper center.
"Since Jess doesn't use-" Nick began before being interrupted.
"What do you mean 'Jess doesn't use toilet paper'?"
"That's what she told me."
Winston let his head fall into his hands as he shook it disparagingly.
"Hey Nick." Jess stepped forward feeling she was needed in the argument. "I lied. I use toilet paper."
Nick gave back the most confused and might I add tutrle-ish looking face Jess had ever seen and mimicked Winston's stance. "Why would you lie about not using toilet paper?" Nick asked in disbelief.
"Well... I don't know." Jess answered. "I was really just concentrated on feet at that moment."
Nick's confusion heightened as he called after Jess who was leaving the apartment. "Feet? What does your bathroom routine have to do with feet? Jess!"
"Don't worry Nick, I am just going to pick up some toilet paper."
Nick sighed as Winston stood up, just happy that the issue had been solved.
"So does this mean that I don't have to make our own toilet paper?" Schmidt asked holding a hot glue gun in one hand and multiple t-shirt and rag scraps in the other.