So thanks to Fanfiction I learned that John dies in the final episode. This is my take on his death (if Carter had lived of course). It'll probably not resemble the show much since I haven't seen the later seasons. This is another one my ideas that's been partially written for a while and I just hadn't finished writing the rest of it. Thanks to Odalys-Ortiz for subtly giving me the push I needed to finish this. I can't believe how long it's been since I posted. Time got away from me and my life got pretty busy. Anyway I hope you all enjoy!

Chapter 1

After five years of working together, the 'whatever this is' that was between them had yet to be defined. Even after taking a gun to the chest to save him, followed by the days he spent nursing her back to health. After one on one games with Taylor and the occasional dinner with the family. Or the few romantic birthdays spent at choice restaurants, that were never declared actual dates. After the occasional lengthy hug or the few times sweet, but short kisses slipped in, nothing had brought them closer to defining the 'this' in their relationship.

Until now.

Standing in the shadows of a dim alley, Joss digested the news John had just dumped on her. She blinked, swallowing slowly with an effort she prayed would keep down the contents of her stomach. But how could she calm down when John had admitted that he was sure he wasn't going to live through his next mission?

"So," she tried, "what are you saying?"

He didn't look at her. "Finch is going on a suicide mission. This is my chance to save his life. I'm not going to let him die this way."

"I know Finch. He's not going to just stand by and let you die for him."

"You're right. Which is why he gave me my walking papers yesterday."

Joss frowned. "He made you quit?"

John's head tilted in affirmation. "I need him to think I'm complying. I gave Shaw my phone and any device I owned connected to Finch. He won't be able to track me or listen in. Which is exactly what I want."

Joss nodded understanding now why he asked her to take out her phone's battery.

"I'm going to lie low for a week or so. Shaw promised to contact me when the time is right. Then I'm going to complete my final mission. And save his life."

Joss's jaw worked as she tried to find her voice. "If all you have to do is lie low and keep Finch from finding out what you're up to for a little while, then…why are you here now?"

He looked at her then. "I would never just leave you like that. I'd never leave you without a real goodbye."

The water building in her eyes caused the vision of his face to blur. So that's why he was here. To say goodbye. He had always been mission minded. She was used to it. Accustomed to his detached manner. But after all their time together, the years spent growing together, she expected more from him. She couldn't believe he was just going to leave her. And so abruptly. Maybe all this time she had been fooling herself about them.

"Besides," he took her hand cutting into her thoughts, "I wanted to spend my last few days with you." His voice was soft, gentle as a smile ghosted his lips. "And we have unfinished business."

"How do you expect me…I-I don't know what you want me to do. How am I supposed to get through the next week after what you just told me-"

"Joss," his voice dropped another octave, as he caressed her cheek. "Let's figure this out once and for all." His eyes closed briefly as he shook his head. Stepping closer to her. "I never wanted it to be this way. I always thought I'd start off telling you I was hanging up the suit. I thought I'd be able to promise you that you could have the rest of my life."

She searched the depths of his blue eyes not caring for the tears that started to fall. She was in shambles and he was throwing riddles at her. "John what are you talking about?"

She thought for a moment he was going to kiss her, as he leaned in. But he stopped short in order to rest his head gently against hers. "I want you to marry me."