A/N: I don't know why I do this to myself: write such painful things. Anyways, this is an older one-shot I'd posted to another blog I've long since abandoned but I'm pretty proud of this one, so I thought I'd post it here. I'd love to hear what you think!

Mary hadn't meant to be away from London for so long. She really hadn't. The last thing the nanny wanted was to be away longer than a couple of months. So when she touched down on London soil after almost a year and a half of being gone, the relief of finally being home washed over her like a wave. The colors of the familiar park she'd landed in seemed to brighten the moment the toes of her sensible shoes touched the grass.

Even more relieving, Mary wasn't set to find a family at the moment which meant she was free to visit with her friends and Uncle. At least for the time being…..

She knew that she should probably seek out her uncle first, but staying with him when she wasn't with a family meant that she would likely see him at some point. Instead, Mary made her way to where Bert's flat was located. There was an unusual hop to her step, one that was only present when she was paying her friend a visit after being away for so long.

It didn't take long to reach the building and it took even less time to climb the stairs to the door for his flat. Not even the slightest bit winded from the climb, Mary raised her hand to knock.

Someone- someone not Bert- answered the door. A someone who was most definitely younger than Bert.

Had he moved? Without writing to tell her?

No, no, Bert wouldn't do that?

"Can I help you, miss," the young man prompted from the doorway.

She blinked, still processing the fact that the man in front of her wasn't Bert. "Yes- ah- Would you know what happened to the man that lived here before you did?"

"Ol' Bert?"

Mary nodded. The young man's expression shifted from confused, to understanding, and then stopped at mournful.

"He passed on… About six months ago. Horrible thing, it was. He was out on the rooftops and it started raining…"

Shock, then more nodding. She understood what that must have meant. He'd been out on the rooftops while it was raining. He'd lost his footing and fallen. It wasn't a common happening, but it wasn't as if it hadn't happened before in the sweeper community.

"I see," she managed to choke out. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes.

Blinking to keep the tears from falling, Mary thanked the man for being helpful and turned to go.

What now? She couldn't face her uncle- or anyone for that manner.

The sky. The clouds. That was what she needed. The bite of the wind as it whipped around her. That cold- that escape- it was what she needed more than anything. Instead, Mary found her sensible shoes pulling her in the direction of the cemetery.

It took very little searching to find the gravestone. His name was carved out cleanly, under it was his birth date and the day he died. Flowers were placed neatly by the stone. Multiple colors and types of flowers decorated the small patch of dirt that covered where he was buried. He would have liked that- all the colors.

Unable to keep the tears at bay any longer, Mary let one tear fall slowly down her cheek. One was followed by a second, which was followed by many more after. Silently, she allowed one tear after another to fall as she stood there just looking at the grave of her best friend.

Mary didn't- couldn't look away. She almost couldn't believe it; she wouldn't if she weren't looking at the gravestone right then.

And then something snapped. Angrily, she wiped at the tears that trailed down her cheeks. She sniffed away the overwhelming sadness. Bert wouldn't want her to be crying. Not like this. And he'd never forgive himself if he knew he were the reason she was crying the way she was.

No.

But he was her best friend. He was her best and closest friend. Now he was gone.

"Herbert Alfred-" Her words came quietly, choked out and broken-sounding, "Herbert Alfred, you will be missed. Terribly, in fact. You- ah- you touched a lot of lives. So many… And the thought of- the thought of not having you anymore… I can't even begin to think… "

"I miss you already. I always do when I'm away. And now… Now I won't even be able to see you when I am home… I miss you. I really, truly do, Bert."