Takes place following "The Rhinitis Revelation"
I don't own any of this.
Leonard retrieved a tissue from the box of Intimacy Kleenex he kept under his bed for such occasions. Sheldon wouldn't let him use the Rubix cube tissues for his quote "carnal purposes " He exhaled loudly, pushing back his tussled hair and casting his eyes to the ceiling of his dimly lit bedroom, resting against the pillows propped up behind him. His forehead was damp with sweat, his white undershirt having been deposited at his feet at the end of the bed.
Priya smiled back at him beckoningly from across the ocean. "Was it as good for you as it was for me?" she asked
Meanwhile outside in the hallway, Sheldon carried his toy model of the robot from The Day The Earth Stood Still.He stopped, his Vulcan hearing peaked.
"Oh please," he muttered under his breath. Nothing disgusted him more than intimacy.
"I'm getting the hang of this," Leonard responded in his eager way. He pulled the drawstring on his original Tron sweatpants, which he'd had since he was fifteen and which still fit him, and turned his attention to his laptop.
"Oh give me a break," Sheldon reacted.
"Good night Leonard," said Priya, her thick accent curling around the syllables of his name sensually.
"Good night Penny," Leonard blurted, tiredly wiping his eyes.
"Oh no," said Sheldon almost too loudly.
"What did you say?" Priya demanded.
"Oh. Um. I said... Good night, Pony?"
"Namastay, Leonard. This will be our last communicatin. Don't bother coming online tomorrow," Priya stated flatly. Her image disappeared from the screen and that was that.
Leonard closed his eyes and covered his face with one of his pillows. He had picked up enough Hindi from Raj to know "Namastay" ttranslated to "good bye." "For a PhD I sure do put my foot in my mouth," he groaned under the pillow.
Sheldon knocked three times at the door. "Leonard? Leonard?"
Two knocks this time.
"WHAT?," Leonard shouted.
Sheldon opened the door. "Were you engaging in cyber-coitus with Priya?," he questioned.
"I was," Leonard answered.
"And did you address Priya using Penny's name?"
"You got me," Leonard said flatly.
"Oh, you hound." Sheldon turned and shut the door behind him, exiting Leonard's room and the hallway and making his way out of their apartment and across the way to Penny's, still holding his robot.
Three knocks.
"Penny?"
"Penny?"
Two knocks.
"It's 3 AM Sheldon," Penny appeared before him and scolded.
"Why are people so impatient? No matter. The Cat survives. Good night." Sheldon returned to his unit and left Penny befuddled.
"Is this an Ambien dream?," she wondered.
The next day Penny was invited by Sheldon, Raj and Howard to a costume party at Will Wheaton's place. She hadn't bought a costume so she went in her street clothes, pink shorts and a low-cut pink tank top and sneakers. Howard answered the door clad in purple spandex. "Heya Penny, what are you supposed to be?"
"I'm the ghost of myself," she told him in a sardonic tone.
"That's a lame costume," Howard said, not getting the joke but letting her in
She made her way directly to the punch bowl. "Please tell me this is spiked," she said to herself half-serious.
Across the room Leonard was talking to Howard and Raj. He was dressed as Han Solo and the two of them were dressed as the Wonder Twins.
"Isn't one of the Wonder Twins a girl?" Leonard inquired.
"I told you!," exclaimed Raj.
Leonard noticed Penny and ducked away. "I shouldn't be here."
"Your existence is an accident of chance. Didn't you study Chaos Theory at Clown College?," piped in Sheldon.
"I'm going to get some chips and dip in the kitchen."
"What's his major malfunction?," said Howard.
"He told me he's uneasy about seeing her," said Raj.
"Sure," said Howard sarcastically "we wouldn't want one of us four to have an uneasy social situation."
Penny took a swig of punch and saw Will Wheaton approaching her. "Hi Penny, I'm glad you made it"
"Ain't no party like a Wheaton party," she joked.
"You know," he continued, "I wanted to apologize for what I said at the bowling alley."
"Apologize?" said Penny curiously.
"I made it all up to psych you out," he told her.
Penny spat the punch she was drinking back into her cup and looked at him. "So that story about the girl who lead you on and how it hurt so much, that never happened?"
"No way. In fact she said the L word to me, and I broke up with her because I couldn't deal with commitment," said Wheaton.
"So you're saying you manipulated me into breaking up with Leonard in order to win a bowling match?," asked Penny
"Lil' bit." he intoned matter-of-factly.
Sheldon appeared beside Wheaton. He was wearing a piece of cardboard cut into a shape she didn't recognize. "Sometimes he just can't help being evil. Do you like my costume? I'm a zigote."
Penny picked up the punch bowl and poured it over Wheaton's head. "You D-List jerk! I'll never forgive you!" Sheldon frowned. "You can't do that to my dearest friend Will Wheaton!," he complained
Penny collapsed her head in her hands and trudged away, holding back tears. She walked straight into Leonard, pausing with her hand against his chest to look at him sorrowfully before dashing out of the room.
"So much for avoiding an unwanted encounter," said Leonard. "Is this cheese dip? Aww, crap." Leonard hurried to the bathroom.
Outside Casa Crusher, Penny sat on a step and wept. She collected herself and stood up, trying to stay composed. "I can't believe I let him do that. I dumped the only decent guy I've ever dated, the only guy I've lo-."
Penny heard the front door open and close behind her. She spun around to see Leonard in front of her in the doorway, his hands folded in front of him holding the blaster that came with his costume. She swallowed a sob.
"Leonard." she said, still in shock.
"Penny," he said plainly, without the brightness he exuded whenever they saw each other.
"I love you," she said as if realizing a truth that was as plain as day.
"I know," said Leonard. Quoting "Empire"might've been on the nose, but he found it apropo. With that, he took a step backward into the house and shut the door.
"What did I do?," Penny asked herself.
After this Raj stormed out past her angrily. "Another Halloween in drag for Rajesh!," he huffed.
"I don't know why you're concerned with my level of interest in Penny," Leonard said to Sheldon back in their living room the next morning.
"Aside from the obvious repercussions one way or another toward our co-habitational state, it's illogical. Since the termination of your relationship, you've done nothing but mope like Hamlet. Your outpouring of emotion annoys me," said Sheldon sounding cross.
"I'm not moping. You're just worried about Penny's feelings," Leonard argued.
"Repeat that sentence in your head and think about it," said Sheldon.
"I have to go," said Leonard, picking up and slinging a backpack he'd been holding over his back. "I'm leaving for home in New Jersey. I don't know when I'll be back."
"You can't leave! You have duties as per the Roommate Agreement," protested Sheldon.
"You can make your own tea," said Leonard with more obvious venom than he usually held for his longtime friend. "I've been pining for Penny like Angel for Buffy for five years. It's her turn to wait for me."
"I will make my own tea!," said Sheldon, insulted. "Who's going to lick my envelopes?"
The apartment door slammed and Leonard was gone.
Meanwhile in the opposite apartment Penny answered the door and in came Bernadette. "Hey, how are you holding up?" she asked with obvious concern.
Penny frowned. "As well as can be expected." She looked at her nails and sat down on her couch.
Bernadette sat beside her and held her hand. "If there's one thing I've learned with Howard, it's that guys like him and Leonard eventually smarten up, so to speak. The way Leonard looks at you, he'll come around."
"Thanks Bernie," Penny said genuinely. They hugged.
"Any time. I'm only a phone call away," Bernadette said warmly. "Unless Mrs Wolowitz answers..."
That same night at midnight, Leonard found himself stranded at Newark Airport. He stood at a payphone, having lost his brand new iPhone on the flight holding the receiver under his chin. "You're using my old room to house test subjects? Yes Mother. No. Yes." He rolled his eyes. "Thanks Mom," he said sarcastically and dropped the receiver without hanging up
Three days later Penny was on the phone with Mary Cooper. "We had a fun time Mrs. Cooper, I'm glad you made it back to Texas without any problems. Yea, you're right, I probably should've done more praying at church. You're praying for me? I appreciate your concern. Yes, I'll remind him to carry an umbrella. Bye Mrs. Cooper."
As soon as she hung up the phone, there came a knock at the door. "Who is it?" Penny yelled, not really caring one way or another. She stood from the couch.
Leonard entered, wearing a green and purple hoodie and a "I 3 NJ" tee shirt, looking scruffy from lack of shaving during his leave of absence. "Someone who loves you," he said. She bolted forward and he embraced her, dipping her forward and kissing her deeply and passionately.