1Title:Past Imperfect

Pairing: Willow/Angel, Willow/Angelus

Rating: R (for now)

Setting: Post S6 BtVS, post S4 AtS.

Description: Willow decided to right some of her wrongs by doing a time travel spell. Problem is, altering time is a tricky business and not everything goes according to plan. Willow travels back to S2 BtVS with some unexpected consquences.

Angel was certain that he'd never seen Willow look so fragile. Not that he had spent a great deal of time contemplating the young redhead but he knew pain when he saw it. Willow was in some serious pain. She was curled up an arm chair in her suite. Her face was pale and devoid of any make-up. Her eyes looked tired and ineffably old for her young face. She looked hollowed out. Empty.

When Rupert Giles had called and asked if Willow could stay with him until they could safely transport her to England, he'd been in a state of disbelief at what she'd done. Rupert had calmly laid out the entirety of what Willow had done in his no-nonsense Watcher way while Angel could only listen. He'd had an easier time believing Xander had gone ballistic and taken out a church group. Or that Giles had lost his mind and started hacking rude people to death. He couldn't reconcile his memories of the sweet, innocent, afraid-of-her-own-shadow Willow with the notion that she was power-crazed killer witch.

And he'd thought his last few months had been rough. Suddenly, being attacked by his human offspring who'd wanted to shove him into a lock box on the bottom of the ocean and losing the woman he loved to the Powers That Be seemed like a picnic. Angel suppressed a pang at the thought. He hadn't seen his son in quite a while but he supposed the boy was working out his own issues. And, truthfully, Angel's problems with his father had ended in the old man's death. Maybe he and Connor would be all right...at least they were both alive at this point.

As for Cordelia, he knew that he had lost her forever. He'd used the Axis of Pythia to determine her location but learned that getting her back was impossible. Angel was beginning to wonder if he was being made to pay for sowing his wild oats back in the day. He'd lost both women he'd loved. It would be much easier if they'd broken up with big fights, big drama, and big hatred. Unfortunately, it was the pining sort of love that never really left.

Angel knocked on the open door and Willow's body tensed and her eyes flew to his. It was obvious she was lost in her own thoughts and hadn't even been aware of his presence. He held up the cup of tea he held in his hands. "Here. You need to drink something at least." Fred had tried to bring her a donut this morning but Willow had refused, stating that she wasn't hungry. He passed it to her and took a seat in the opposing chair.

"Thank you," she said tonelessly, reaching a pale hand out for the cup. But she didn't drink it, she just held it in her hands and looked into it as if the answers to life itself were hidden in the cup.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Angel asked.

Her expression plainly said that she'd rather spend the time scrubbing the hotel lobby with her toothbrush. "I guess so." Her eyes focused on the carpet.

Angel recognized the shame she felt. He, too, had avoided anyone's gaze once upon a time. He supposed it was only natural. Eyes are the gateway to a person's true self, their soul. Angel gently reached out and placed a single finger under her chin, raising it so she was forced to meet his eyes. "You can tell me anything."

Willow took in a shaky breath. "I-I know that. I'm a horrible person, Angel. I don't deserve to live." Tears fell freely down her cheeks.

"If you don't deserve to live, than neither do I," Angel said absently wiping her tears away before he withdrew his hand. Angel recognized all to well, the beginnings of a brood. He'd spent a hundred years wallowing in what he'd done. In that time, he could have been helping people, making a difference instead of drinking rat's blood and not bathing. Brooding about your sins was really a selfish act and he wasn't about to let Willow fall into that trap.

Her eyes rounded. "Oh no! But you've done so much good! And you help people and you've been trying to redeem yourself and–"

"Taking a human life is a serious thing, Willow, and I don't want to diminish the importance of that. The reality is that I can never truly make up for everything I've done. You killed one person, Willow, but I've killed thousands and I'm still here. Don't you deserve the chance to make it right?"

"I tried to destroy the world," Willow added mournfully.

"Me too," Angel admitted. "But you didn't and neither did I."

"Angel, I also said some pretty horrible things to everyone I care about. What if they don't forgive me?"

"They might not," Angel said honestly. He didn't want to sugar coat any of this cold truth. "But that is something you'll have to deal with."

Willow nodded. "What should I do?"

"Go with Rupert. Hopefully, between him and the coven, you'll learn how to control your magic."

"I never should have started playing with magic in the first place. It's brought me nothing but trouble," Willow said bitterly.

"You'll have to learn how to control it. It's part of you now. It's not like you can change the past."

"Mmm," Willow said absently, her mind whirling.

He'd seen her look like this before in countless Scooby meetings. It was the look she got just before she came up with a solution to one of their problems. "Well, I"m going to let you get some rest. I'll be up if you feel like talking tonight, okay?" Angel said, standing.

"Okay." Willow set down her tea. "Angel, thanks for the talk. It was very helpful."

Angel paused at the door. "You're welcome."

Willow looked over her shoulder as she crept down the stairs. Angel had gone to Chinatown to deal with a Yuce demo who seemed to have a fondness for fortune cookies and people's eyeballs. Fred and Gunn were in their room watching television. Wesley was nowhere to be seen and no one seemed to be eager to discuss the subject. This was her chance.

Willow crossed the lobby and gained access to the office where the books lived. Hopefully, Wesley would have the book she was looking for in his collection. Time travel spells were a big no-no in the magical realm but that didn't mean those types of spells didn't exist. Willow understood the principle behind them and had no intention of making any large changes.

Predictably, Wesley owned "The Fourth Dimension" which was a large reference volume on the subject of time travel spells. She quickly searched the index and picked the appropriate spell, Changez Temps. It allowed for a small alteration to be made in a time line and was supposed to have the bare minimum impact. "Perfect."

Willow quickly went to the desktop computer and accessed the Watcher's Database. The council had recently gone digital. She quickly typed in Giles' pass code. Giles had given it to her last year stating that he refused to "click away on the metal monstrosity". He expected her to correspond with other Watcher's via email and access any information that they needed. Predictably, the English translation of the spell popped onto the scream along with a little proviso stating that it wasn't to be used, etc. Willow quickly ignored it and scribbled down the information. All that was needed was a couple of lizard skins, some juniper berries, some thyme, and voila! Willow quickly pulled the ingredients from the cupboard and placed them in a small wicker basket she'd found by the door.

"No time like the present," Willow joked to herself. She went out into the garden. Willow thought she'd have a better chance performing the spell outside where she could pull energy from the earth. She slipped her sneakers and socks off and let her feet luxuriate in the feel of the soft grass before she assembled the ingredients on the cement bench. She pulled a few strands of hair from her head, wincing slightly at the pain. Then, she painted them with a crushed juniper berry. She wrapped the lizard skin and dried thyme with the hair and began to chant. "Take me to past and make the changes I make last. I will do no harm, simply alter a small yarn. Take me to the past and make the changes I make last. I will do no harm, simply alter a small yarn"

Willow felt the world spin around her. She closed her eyes to stop herself from becoming dizzy. She rocked from side to side with the motion. Suddenly, she felt like she was being thrown as though someone picked her up and tossed her across a field.

"Ow!" Willow rubbed her head as she collided with a...bookshelf? Willow peered up at the towering book cases on either side of her.

"Willow? Any luck?" Giles appeared a the end of row of bookcases. He had a Watcher's diary in his hand.

"W-what?" Willow said, straightening up and scrambling to her feet. She looked down and was amazed to see that she was wearing a lime green skirt and orange tights. Willow hadn't worn an outfit that outrageous since...highschool "Oh! I did it!" She looked around. Yep, she was in the library standing in front of a very tweedy Giles.

"You did?" Giles asked. "You found out more about Drusilla?"

"Huh? Um, no. Something else...researchy. I'm just so..." Willow reached over and hugged the stunned Watcher. "This is great. Everything is going to be great, Giles. Don't worry!"

What do you think? Is it worth continuing? I'm planning on having Willow try to stop Angel and Buffy from shagging. Then, Miss Calender won't die and Willow won't have to perform the soul restoration spell which leads her on her path to magical destruction. Of course, you know what they say about the best laid plans.

Feedback is always appreciated!!!