Report 1
"The name is Naruto Uzumaki! I have so many complaints that I could shit all day! First of all, why is Sasuke such a sexy man? I mean, he's not bad looking, but I'm jealous of all the attention he gets! Also, why do we get a gay guy on our team ever 100 chapters! I HATE YOU ALL AND TEMARI'S ASS!"
"Wow…you ARE weird…"
Report 2
"This is Sasuke Uchiha. I do like being as sexy as I am, but I have many complaints! First of all, why are all the ugly girls like Sakura and Ino after me! Second, I don't want to become some gay shit-bag while I live with Orochimaru! I also want to have man boobs. Thank you!"
"……"
Report 3
"Sakura Haruno here! I know I'm not the sexiest-looking female in Naruto, but come on! I'm still smarter and more caring than Ino! I mean, all Ino has is a great figure, luscious curves, an adorable face, a…a…Oh, just forget it! I HAVE NO BOOBS OR THE VIRGINITY TO TELL SASUKE I WANT TO STAB HIM FOR ETERNITY FOR KILLING MY NEW LOVE, NARUTO!"
"You…don't have boobs?"
Report 4
"Kakashi-sensei reporting for duty! I am a bit displeased that I am actually a dirty pervert who likes reading Hentai manga! Still, Iruka does turn me on…"
"Hmm…"
Report 5
"Michael Jackson is my idol! Rapping those kids by making them drunk is pure genius! LONG LIVE MICHAEL JACKSON!"
"I always knew Orochimaru was a lesbo."
Report 6
"I, HINATA HYUGA, HAVE FINALLY SNAPPED! I WILL NOT REST UNTIL I HAVE SLAUGHTERED EVERY NINJA IN THE WORLD AND FEAST ON THEIR FRESH ORGANS AS THEY SCREAM IN PAIN! I WILL BECOME THE RULER OF EARTH!"
"Wanna go out for bagels?"
"Sure."
Report 7
"Itachi, who is me, is so damn irresistible! I mean, got to and put me up with pretty much any character and there'll be at least one fic about it! IT DRIVES ME MAD! Besides, I heard that beards make people look sexy, but I don't have one! Very confusing…"
"Itachi, you should choose your women wisely…"
Report 8
"I am Garra of the Sand. First things first! I am like some creepy emo kid, even during my time as Kaze Kage! I don't like to drink, smoke, use needles, and try to kill myself whenever I have the chance! I am a happy person who has had a rough childhood, okay?"
"We understand…"
Report 9
"Sai, the creepy gay kid that no one understands, is present. I…well, actually, for some strange reason I have nothing to say, so you can go to the last person! ….I AM A BISEXUAL BUT I GOT NO LOVIN'!"
"……"
Report 10 (Final Report)
"THE REST OF THE NARUTO GANG WOULD LIKE TO SAY: ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!"
"That's hot!"
Next up: One Piece Reports!