My small contribution for Klaine Week (Tuesday: AU)
xXxXxXx
Blaine caught a sniff of something deliciously fresh and yet so sweet, and he just had to pull his eyes away from his book to see someone shuffling between Blaine and the row of seats before him. Blaine was reminded of that Brad Pitt comment on Fight Club about etiquette: "do I give you the ass or the crotch?". Well, this person, man, probably a man… well, this man had chosen to give him the ass – which Blaine was more than ok with, as far as etiquette goes – as he made his way to sit down opposite Blaine on the bus. Blaine had never thought he'd have an opinion on the sitting display on buses, but lo and behold, here was Blaine, glad that some buses did have sits facing each other, rather than all of them facing the front.
He felt this way because the man with the very nice smell, the very nice pants and the very nice ass had now sat down right in front of Blaine and boy had a very nice everything. Those high cheek bones; that crystal clear, perfectly pale skin, with just the right amount of pink to his cheeks; those amazingly blue eyes; that perfectly coiffed hair; and those deliciously looking lips; that adorable little no- Oh, shit, I'm staring!
Blaine returned to his book, but he could've read the word 'breakfast' twenty times and it would still not stick. His brain was much more busy memorizing that guy's face. It really didn't help that his scent continued its assault on Blaine's nose. A delicious and totally welcome assault. Blaine was proud of how long he could take it before he let his eyes wander off again and find the guy. Oh shit, he's looking at me!
Pretty Blue Eyes was probably thinking he was an idiot right now, especially because he'd been staring at the same paragraph for way too much time to be considered normal. Oh great, so now I look like I'm retarded!
Maybe he should check… Just make sure the guy wasn't looking at Blaine like he was an idiot. So he chanced another glance, and like before, their eyes met. This time, however, Blaine didn't look away and held his gaze. How very brave of you, Blaine! Pretty Blue Eyes was smiling now, he was smiling. It was small, and it was kind of teasing, but it was a smile, and it was directed at Blaine.
YES! Yes, yes! Ok, now, play it cool! Tease back! Don't make a fool of yourself, Blaine. You can do this. You can flirt with the sexy guy, you can do it.
Before he knew it, though, Blaine was returning it, full on. Bright and wide. And eager.
And ridiculous.
And he was waving.
Pretty Blue Eyes chuckled quietly, a small blush coloring his cheeks, and looked away, digging his hand deeper into his jackets' pockets and sat straighter (if such a thing was possible). Blaine felt as his face became scorching hot and he pocketed the stupid hand that had broken free of its own will. Well, if he hadn't looked like an idiot before, he certainly had now.
Blaine closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It took him a few seconds to open them again, but when he did there was a crotch right in front of them. Pretty Blue Eyes was shuffling through, again. The bus slowed down suddenly and the jolt threw him off balance and Blaine found himself practically hugged by Pretty Blue Eyes.
"Oh, God, I'm so sorry!" He gasped as he pulled himself straight. Oh, god, his voice!
"Don't worry." Blaine mumbled, cheeks burning up.
"I really didn't meant to come onto you so hard… and quite this literally." he smiled, and winked and Blaine was pretty sure he'd just died. He'd winked. Pretty Blue Eyes had winked!
Blaine watched him go awestruck. His brain couldn't really function and process what had just happened. Did Pretty Blues Eyes actually flirt with him? Was he imagining all of this? Would it be incredibly creepy if he started taking this bus at this time everyday in an attempt to see him again?
He nearly missed his stop just thinking about all of this. He jogged to the coffee shop. He was already late for his next appointment, but he needed the caffeine. Once ordered, the cashier asked him for 2.99 and he reached for his wallet, only to find an empty pocket.
"What…?" he checked every single pocket in a frenzied mess of hands. Still nothing. Maybe he'd forgotten it at home. No, he'd used it to pay the bus fare. Maybe he'd dropped it somewhere, even if he kept it safely breast pocket. Maybe he… wait… NO! NO! no! No….! No…!
"Well, fuck."
A week later found Blaine sitting at the bus stop, bored as hell, waiting for the apparently lost bus. He still didn't have his new driver's license, so, even though his car had already returned from the shop, he couldn't drive. Damn Pretty Blue Eyes! Damn him and his distracting seductive techniques.
If only Blaine could find him! If only he were to pass by right now! If only that really well dressed guy leaving that building right across the street with a very attractive sway to his hips and shoulders as he turned the street into a true catwalk was him. If only… Wait… what?
"What the…" Blaine gasped before jumping out the bench and started to make his way over to the guy. A loud engine noise and a glance over his shoulder and Blaine knew the bus had finally arrived. But of course! He sighed as he continued towards the man and ignored the bus.
He finally caught up with Pretty Blue Eyes. He was wondering how he should approach him when he stopped at the small queue for a newsstand. Blaine stood right next to him and cleared his throat carefully.
"You know, people ought to be careful with their pockets…"
The guy frowned slightly, throwing a sideways glance at Blaine, barely seeing him, before turning his head back to the front.
"You just can't ever know when someone might just put their hands in there and take your wallet… with your license and your credit card and your money for that coffee you really needed." He continued easily "And you know, the thing is, they really are so good at not letting you notice anything!"
"What… oh… god!" Pretty Blue Eyes gasped as he recognized Blaine and comprehension dawned on his face "Alright… You're right, I'm so sorry!"
"Yeah, you are. I want it back."
"I can't, I don't have it anymore…" Pretty Blue Eyes gasped "God, what will I do? You won't get me arrested, will you? Oh, please! I'll do anything…"
"Anything?"
"Anything… I promise! You look like someone who likes a good charity case. I could be that, you could teach me how to be a better person and then we'd fall in love and have so much sex and maybe even get married and have kids, but never really tell them how we met, because…"
Wait. Wait. Wait. So, yeah, in Blaine's head that was what was going to happen. But things always were much cooler in his head. When it was time to actually do something it was a bit more like this:
"Hey!"
Pretty Blue Eyes turned to look at him, frowning and confused. "Yes…?"
"You stole my wallet!" Blaine barked. Yes, just like that, Blaine, cool and collected.
"I…" He looked around as people started to look "I most certainly did not!"
"Yeah, yeah you did! You tripped and fell on me on the bus last week and next thing I know I've got no wallet!"
"This is ridiculous!" He gasped, holding onto his bag strap and starting to walk away, Blaine following him.
"I'm sure! You flirted with me to get me distracted!"
"This is absurd!" his face was scorching red "I've never been this humiliated! Honestly!"
"Don't play dumb!"
"I'm not!" he nearly shouted, continuing walking away fast paced "I just tend to be confused when some random guy makes wild accusations!"
"Wild…? Come on! I'm sure it was you! Even if you hadn't stolen my wallet I'd still remember your face because…" Oh god, shut up Blaine!
Pretty Blue Eyes stopped dead on his tracks and Blaine almost crashed against him again "Listen, random guy who thinks I stole his wallet. I don't steal. I make my own honest living. Look at me… Look at my clothes, do I look like someone who needs to steal people's wallets?"
Ok, so maybe he had a point. "That… It… You… It was you, I'm sure!"
"Really? You're sure?"
"Yeah!"
"Ok, let's say, hypothetically, I did. What then?"
"Well… I want it back, and… and I'm taking you to the police." Blaine said, holding his chin up, trying to look as sure of himself as he could. That'll show him!
Pretty Blue Eyes stared at him for a second. Then he burst out laughing. Like, literally, burst out laughing, bending over and clutching to his sides. Holding out a hand in front of himself, as an excusal. Blaine crossed his arms. He wanted to be annoyed and outraged, but he just ended up feeling utterly embarrassed.
"You… police! Oh…precious!"
"What?" Blaine rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the heat overtaking his face.
Pretty Blue Eyes took a few calming breaths, straightening up and readjusting his jacket before turning back to Blaine and smiling "You want to go to the Police and press charges?"
"Yes…"
"Oh, honey…" he shook his head and looked at him like he was some five year old realizing that Santa wasn't real. "Honey!"
"Listen, Pret- Huh… pret-t-tensious little sneaky thieve, I want my wallet back." Even Blaine cringed at his poor effort at an insult. It was even worse when, like him, you knew it'd started out as anything but an insult. But I guess calling the guy who stole your wallet Pretty Blue Eyes wasn't all that good or normal, was it?
"And I want a two story, ten room apartment with a luscious, though modern and minimalistic decoration, but that isn't happening either..."
"What do you mean? What did you do with my wallet?"
"I told you, I didn't steal it."
"Yeah, and I don't believe you."
"Skepticism has lost its charm, don't you think? Honestly, person whose wallet I allegedly took, let me tell you how things work in the real world. When someone takes your wallet you can bet your sweet behind that the next day they don't have it anymore, for sure. And you can also bet that same sweet behind that the police won't give a rat's ass, and you want to know why? Because you could never prove it that I took it."
"So you admit it?"
"No, I told you how these things work out and that you can't prove I did it. I don't think anywhere there I admitted to anything other than the fact that I find your behind to be very sweet." He winked and turned around, just like the last time.
"What the fuck!" Blaine called after him "I need it! I had important documents there!"
He stopped and turned back to Blaine with a half annoyed look "Listen, give it up, ok? You getting your wallet back, never going to happen. Just cancel the credit cards, get yourself a pretty new license and go wallet shopping."
"There! You admit it!"
"Oh, for fuck's sake! What are you? Five?" he rolled his eyes and sighed "I did not admit to anything. How do you know my wallet wasn't stolen three times in the last five months and that's why I know how it all works, huh? Listen, I'd really love to stay and discuss pick pocketing methods and whatnot but I've got classes to attend. I don't have the time, the energy or the patience right now…"
What? This person is a student? He goes to classes? He's… just that much of a normal person? But… but… but… it doesn't make sense. "You're… you… how…" Blaine attempted to start a question too many times to not be considered pathetic, before he finally gave up and tried to look menacing "I could just follow you and find out where you study and pester you until you admit to it!"
Blaine could see the boy regret saying he was a student immediately but he quickly recovered, not letting go of his annoyed stance "Yes, you could, but, alas, that could be considered stalking and I'm quite sure the hundreds of students that would see you everyday near my campus would be very good witnesses in my request for a restraining order. As you've noticed, that would be the difference between my allegation and yours – I can prove mine, you can't prove yours."
"What are you? A Law student?" Blaine wrinkled his nose.
"No. Just someone with a brain."
"Ok… ok… I'm… Listen, you don't look like the type of person to go around stealing wallets… what… do you need help?"
Pretty Blue Eyes looked at him taken aback, at first he almost seemed touched or confused by Blaine's words, but that wasn't even a split second and then he just glared at him. Blaine was honestly scared at first, he almost expected him to throw a punch or something, but then he merely turned around and stalked off.
Blaine watched him go and kept his mouth shut, finally.
What was even worse was that he still couldn't keep his eyes away from that guy's figure as he walked away – he truly looked like he was walking on a catwalk. Blaine sighed as he turned the corner and disappeared, releasing Blaine from his spell. So that went well.
That was the story of Blaine's life: being made a fool of. Although this version was a new one… the stuttering, idiot and dumb fool. Usually it was just that people used and abused him because he was so nice all the time and he had this stupid urge to try to help everyone and fit in everywhere, and in the end he was just left there feeling like a fool for trusting or investing so much into those people.
But this, this was new… and… a little bit better. Pretty Blue Eyes didn't want to use Blaine when he could have so clearly done so. All he would have needed to do was say 'I'm so sorry, I'm so lost in my life, won't you please help me find my way' and Blaine would've been paying his rent in a matter of two months (I wish that was an exaggeration). But no, he had actually pushed Blaine away. Sure, he had been kind of mean and kind of humiliated him… and yet, Blaine didn't feel bad or angry at him.
Ok, so maybe I should be worried about my sanity.
How is someone not mad at the person who stole their wallet? And then proceeded to insult in every way possible?
Just… how? Blaine? How…?
Because, for the first time, someone could truly use Blaine's help but wasn't asking for it at all.
For some reason, Blaine wished he'd get to see Pretty Blue Eyes again.
He did, too, two weeks afterwards. He'd almost forgotten about it, only remembering during a particularly long shower, or when the red light ran for too long. But the moment he'd spotted Pretty Blue Eyes everything came back full force. He'd just sat at a coffee table, cup in one hand and book in the other. He'd scanned the place real quick and his eyes found him right in front of him, two tables away. As if on cue Pretty Blue Eyes lifted his eyes from his own book right then.
As their eyes met Blaine knew he recognized him, too. There was mixture of expression flickering through his face in a split second. Surprise, annoyance, apprehension… and Blaine's favorite – the one that had made Pretty Blue Eyes' lips turn into a discreet, tight smile – amusement.
Blaine's hand shot up of its own accord in an awkward wave. Pretty Blue Eyes raised an eyebrow before chuckling lightly and returning to his own book with a little headshake. A blush came over Blaine's cheeks as he took a sip from his medium drip and opened his book. He couldn't focus on the words, though. All he could think about was the man sitting across from him, about what would he say if he'd just get the nerve to go there and talk to him.
His eyes couldn't stay on the paper and he found himself staring at that person. Would it really be that stupid if he asked him out?
Pretty Blue Eyes looked up and their eyes met once more. This time he didn't chuckle, he didn't raise an eyebrow, or crack a teasing smile, he didn't even look annoying. He just bit his lip ever so slightly, sent a split second glance around the coffee shop and returned to the book, his cheeks a shade darker.
Blaine couldn't help it anymore, maybe it was how he suddenly looked a little nervous, maybe it was just simply his insane beauty, maybe it was the fact that he was reading one of Blaine's favorite books… Blaine got up and in two quick movements he'd sat himself right in front of Pretty Blue Eyes.
"Hi."
He sighed before lifting his eyes and offering an inquisitive bitch glare, his veneer of cold detachment back on "Hi."
"I'm Blaine."
"Ok." He rolled his eyes and landed them back on his book.
He was starting to regret this now "I don't really care that you stole my wallet, anymore."
"I didn't." He shrugged without looking at Blaine.
"I just… I think I wanna take you out on a date."
His head shot up to give Blaine the most expressive 'what the fuck' look "What?"
"I just do…" Blaine shrugged "I'm not very good at this flirting thing, so bear with me… I think it's the fact that you're like a breath of fresh air in my life, because you're not trying to use me and take advantage of my idiotic personality like everybody else in my life." Blaine scratched his head and added "I don't even know why I'm telling you this…"
"Wait, hold on a sec." he straightened himself on his chair and put his book down, but was careful to keep it wide open, the right page well marked "So you're saying I stole your wallet but never took advantage of you?"
"Hmmm"
"Either I did take your wallet by taking advantage of how love struck you seemed at the time and flirting shamelessly to provide distraction, or I didn't take your wallet and really did trip over my own feet falling onto you and taking advantage of the moment itself to flirt shamelessly with you. You can't have both."
"I never thought of it that way…"
"Right…" He smiled, rolling his eyes and picking his book back up.
"So, let's assume, for argument's sake, then, that you did not take my wallet…" Blaine said at once, not wanting him to go back to his book "Would you go out with me then?" he leaned forward slightly, a puppy look taking over his nervous face.
"But then your whole reasoning for breath of fresh airs flies out the window…" he smirked.
Blaine shrugged, slightly embarrassed "Well, then. It's not just that. You're… I… You've got something about you."
"You're insane… Just a couple of weeks ago you wanted to bring me in to the police!"
"I… I've nicknamed you." Blaine waited for him to urge him forward, ask for the nickname, but he remained stoic, staring at Blaine, so he continued without prompting, his face beet red "Pretty Blue Eyes."
Pretty Blue Eyes raised an eyebrow and Blaine swore there was a flicker of a smile, and a ghost of a blush.
"But it's big… it's three words… so it's a lot of trouble to say it… or think it… or whatever. So, I was wondering what was your name."
"Rumpelstiltskin."
"Oh…" Blaine mumbled, lowering his eyes to stare purposefully at his fidgeting hands.
He heard a sigh "Ok, let's say for argument's sake I did steal your wallet. You look like a nice, honest living kind of guy. Why would you ever take someone like me out on a date?"
Blaine snapped his head up. Pretty Blue Eyes was asking him a question, a meaningful one… he was engaging in conversation and he wasn't just flat out refusing. "I'm… a sucker, which is why everyone always takes advantage of me… for charity cases, and my first instinct with you was to want to help you get back on your feet, make an honest man of yourself…"
"I don't need your charity." He frowned, holding his head higher.
"Let me finish…" Blaine grimaced realizing how he'd sounded "but then I got to thinking about how you seemed like exactly the kind of person who doesn't want any help at all. I offered you help and you refused, when you could've just as easily as you stole my wallet have me paying for a lunch willingly."
"Your point being?"
"We're the exact opposite of our comfort zones, aren't we?" Blaine shrugged. Now that he was putting his thoughts into words he was managing to free himself a little bit more "I mean, I'm used to jumping from charity case to charity case… all I do is try to fix things and people… and when they're fixed they usually just up and leave me because I apparently have nothing else to offer than my obvious lack of a backbone."
"Why are you telling a complete stranger all of this? Are you looking to get yourself killed?"
Blaine ignored the question, continuing undisturbed "You, on the other hand, are used to keeping everyone far away – you don't want to need help. Am I right?"
Pretty Blue Eyes stared back, hard and unwavering, and the lack of answer was all the answer Blaine needed.
"So maybe we're exactly right for each other."
"That's a nice theory you got there, Blaine. Did you hear all about it on Oprah?" his voice was suddenly dripping with resentment and Blaine knew he'd stepped in it. "I didn't steal your wallet, but if I had I'd be offended by the idea that that means I need anyone's help whether you're offering or not."
"Are you saying you steal wallets for fun?"
"I'm saying I won't go on a date with you." he shot Blaine a glare before snatching up his book and his bag and stomping out the coffee shop.
Well, shit.