"Meredith?"
Shit, which one do I choose? I'm looking back and forth weighing pros and cons. For a long time I was content to spend the rest of my life with Derek. He was the only man for me. But he hurt me so badly. And I hate to say that I'm starting to like Addison. She is a good person who made a mistake is now doing whatever she can to try to make up for it. Sometimes I wish she would decide she would rather be with Mark but I think she's made her decision and will stick to it. And that leaves me with the fact that he called me a whore. Yes, I like to have sex. But I never let it mean anything. He is the only man in years I have allowed to get to me. All the others are just meaningless physical gratification. Derek meant something. And when he chose Addison I was devastated. I always hoped he would leave her and come back to me but I didn't think it would be this complicated. It wasn't complicated at all until Finn entered the picture. He hasn't hurt me and I don't see many possibilities for him to ever hurt me. He has plans. And I know that's a big deal for him. I just wish I could reciprocate. I like him, but I'm now sure I can love him until I get over Derek, which seems impossible unless he gets over me. It's impossible to not think about him when he looks at me like that. I want to make Finn happy. The only problem is I'm not sure I would be happy too.
Ok I've stalled long enough. I think I've made my decision. I'm gonna take the easy way out on this one. I'm going to fake a seizure and used brain damage as an excuse not to pick. Maybe that won't work. I could just faint. That could work just to see who comes rushing to my aid first. I mean they're both medical professionals so they would try to do something. Although Derek would probably be more helpful trying to discern if I have a brain bleed than Finn checking to see if my nose is cold. Ok that wasn't funny. They're starting to look bored. I could pick Finn and keep sleeping with Derek on the side. No, that would be bad. Ok, I think I'm just going to faint.
Damn this floor is cold. And I should have fallen better. I'm now exposed. I forgot I'm now commando. Oops. Oh well it's nothing almost everyone hasn't seen before.