Welcome to the Captain Chronicles!! If you have any suggestions or ideas, please feel free to respond.
Seires Degdirba eht Otutran hctaw!
Obligatory Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged reference!! XD

We do not own Bleach (thank you Captain Obvious) Enjoy the epic irony!!
First on the docket:

Shigekuni Yamamotogenrusai (Old Man Yamamoto)

Choujirou, his heart heavy with sorrow, cleared his throat to begin the reading.
"We are gathered here today to read the last will and testament of Old Man Yamamoto."

"To Soifon, captain of Squad 2, I leave... well I just can't think of anything at the moment. Sorry."

"To Gin Ichimaru, captain of Squad 3, I bequeath my pet mouse Squeakers. I hope you will care for and love him as much as I did in life." Once everyone stopped staring, Gin couldn't help but lick his lips at the thought of a live mouse in his care...

"To Retzu Unohana, I leave my pipe and all my unused tobacco." Choujirou sighed and shook his head, "Poor guy, it's what did him in in the end."

"To Sousuke Aizen, our most beloved backstabing &#!&(, I leave nothing of material value, only... a boot to the head."
"What? sound of boot hitting head Oww!" Aizen cried as a boot randomly fell from the sky and hit him square in the head. This caused his glasses to fall off. Somewhere, a fangirl squealed.

"To Byakuya Kuchiki, I leave my prized 'Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free' card. I'm sure you will find use for it one day."

"To Sajin Komamura, I leave my medieval knight's helmet. The pointed face plate will fit you just fine."

"To Syuhsui Kyoroku, I leave ownership of the Saraite's wine cellar. Don't drink it all in one sitting."

"To Kaname Tousen, I leave my vast library and collection of silent movies. Enjoy"

"To Toshiro Hitsugaya, I leave my jar of cookies. It's on the top shelf."

"To Kenpachi Zaraki, I give you a compass with which to find your sense of direction. The 'N' stands for North."

"To Mayuri Kurotsuchi, I leave my collection of assorted bath salts(1) to be used however you want."

"Jushiro Ukitake inherits my collection of King Edward VI memorabilia(2). You two have a lot in common."

"And finally to Choujirou, my lieutenant, I leave the rabid pygmy hollow I kept caged in the backyard to be placed in his pants."

Truth be told, everyone in attendance was quite speechless. Except for Aizen, who's head still hurt, and Choujirou, who was screaming bloody murder."

TBC

1 - In episode 61, Mayuri takes a bath. lol.
2 - King Edward VI died of tuberculosis.

Yes! The first chapter is done! I just love all the Last Will and Temperament references XD
Please review! Until next time! I HEART Renji!! :)