"Are you going to drink that or stare at it all night?" a familiar voice asked. Erin looked up from the glass between her hands to see a ghost from her past.
"I haven't decided yet. What are you doing here?" she asked as he took a seat across from her in the booth.
"Getting some liquid courage in me before I go see Spencer."
"Ah." She pushed her glass over to him. "Go on, it's their finest whiskey. I suppose I shouldn't ruin a good thing like ninety days sober." She folded her arms on the table and rested her head on them. "Though I would love to get blindingly drunk and erase the last week of my life."
"It can't be as bad as all that."
"You have no idea, Jason." To her mortification, a few tears trickled down her face and she bit her lip hard. "I can't believe I'm having a pity party with you of all people."
"Do you want to talk about it?" He sounded sincere and she found herself nodding slightly. "So tell me, what's going on?"
"My life is imploding around me. John left today, he couldn't handle the sober me. Imagine that, a sober me is even more of a bitch than a drunk me. He even has another fucking house already, on the other side of town. The only other thing wandering my house now is my cat. How fucking pathetic is that?"
He reached across the table and covered her hand with his. "Erin." She looked up to meet Jason's eyes, seeing only tender concern where she had expected bitterness or exultation or scorn. "It's not pathetic." He quickly threw back the whiskey and the waitress soon came over with another.
"Then why do I feel so low, so stupid?" She spit out the last word with derision, hating herself for admitting that feeling of failure.
"Because you changed and expected that to fix things. You didn't see the cracks in the foundation that had been there long before you even thought of making things better." Jason spoke as if he had lived the life she was now facing, and she wracked her brain to figure out what she knew about him. It wasn't much, just that he had an estranged son. His hand over hers tightened and she felt a strange flutter in her stomach.
"Do, do you have to see Dr. Reid tonight?" It was a weak, asinine, question. Like he'd really want to spend the night wither, with the Ice Queen, after everything that had gone down between them. God, she was so fucking stupid, John had been right to leave her. Nothing she touched ever came to any good – this just proved it.
Erin tried to yank her hand out from his grasp, but he only held on all the tighter. "I was a profiler for too long not to read what you're thinking. It's healthy to want to feel something other than the anger and despair you feel right now. And Spencer can wait. We're here now." She felt pinned by his dark brown eyes and slowly, she nodded. Jason signaled the waitress and quickly settled the tab before getting out of the booth and holding out his hand to her.
She felt terribly exposed in that moment, feeling every day of her fifty years on Earth. He gently smiled at her and all her insecurities melted away. Reaching up, she took hold of the large hand and let him pull her up. She'd never realized how handsome he was when he'd worked under her. A soft gasp escaped her lips as he tugged her flush against his side, his arm resting possessively on her hips. "Jason?"
"Yes, Erin?" His voice, so commanding, sent a shiver down her spine and she found her body drawing closer to his, seeking out his warmth.
"Nothing." They began to walk down the sidewalk and she vaguely wondered where they were headed. Her car was still in the parking lot, after all. They stopped outside a chic hotel and he let go of her to pull out a key. Jason handed it to her and she looked up at him. "What?"
"Do you still want this?" Tender concern filled his voice and she nodded, a hesitant smile spreading across her face. "Then let me lead the way." He opened the door and guided her over to the elevators. While they waited, he once more put his arm around her, his thumb rubbing along her ribcage to stroke the underside of her breast. A flare of desire shot through her body and she rubbed her cheek against his chest, breathing in the musky scent of his aftershave.
The elevator ride seemed to take a long time and his fingers never left her alone, rubbing and stroking her side. Desire pooled in her and she unconsciously made small movements against him. The doors opened on the sixth floor and the stepped out, going down to room 617. She opened the door with the key he'd handed her earlier and they tumbled into the room.
As his mouth descended to cover hers, all she could focus on was how soft his beard was against her skin. It felt like the smooth caress of velvet and she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Jason's hands slipped down to cup her ass and she moaned lightly, letting his tongue slip inside her mouth to probe hungrily. One of his hands crept around to her front and began to undo the buttons holding her jacket closed.
"Jason," she whispered as they came up for air. "More?"
He nodded and began to unbutton her blouse, slipping it off her shoulder, She responded by making short work of the buttons on his shirt. He was so hairy, so different from John. Carefully, she reached out and splayed her hand on his chest, tugging on the thick, wiry, hair.
Erin never noticed her skirt and bra join the pile of clothes at their feet, instead jumping when he pulled her tight to him. The hair on his chest teased and irritated her nipples into taut peaks. His fingers slipped beneath the elastic of her panties and she gasped as he palmed her. It felt like an electric shock ran through her body and she tipped her hips forward to come in closer contact with that heady, glorious, feeling.
Her knees grew weak and then he was kissing her again, suckling at her neck in the same maddening rhythm he was using down there, with his hand. Her nails scrabbled at his back and she moaned lowly. "Jason, please, now. I can't take much more of this."
He nodded and maneuvered her over to the bed. Erin was breathing heavily as she fell back onto the soft mattress. As she looked up at him through heavy eyes, he shucked off his pants and she bit her lip in anticipation. Jason was much larger than John and the sight of him, hard and throbbing, sent another wave of desire crashing through her. Erin cupped her breasts, thumbing and pinching her nipples as her hips moved restlessly.
"If you keep that up, Erin, I won't even make it inside of you," he said lowly, tugging off her panties. She was certain she was too wet down there, but he just looked at her with the eyes of a parched man. Kneeling, he ran one of his large, blunt, fingers along her slit and she arched up into the touch, still playing with her breasts. One of his hands pushed hers away and took over, squeezing and thumbing the too hard peak.
And the he was eating her out. Erin thrashed her head back and forth as her orgasm swept over her, hot and heavy. Before she came down from that high, he was entering her, thrusting swiftly. She wrapped her legs around him, drawing him in deeper. The second orgasm came at the same time as his first and then he was collapsing on top of her, covering her body with his comforting, welcome weight.
"Thank you," she whispered as she reached up to kiss his cheek. "Thank you." Another kiss. "Thank you." She was crying by then and he reached down to wipe the tears away. "Hold me?"
"Yes, Erin." Somehow, he got them under the covers and she snuggled close to his body, drawing warmth from him. "Do you…" She cut off his words with a soft kiss, wrapping an arm around his waist, molding herself to him. "All right, your way."
Erin chuckled lowly, only to break off in another sob. Instantly, his arms closed around her, rubbing her back as she cried. "I can't stop these days," she murmured through a choked breath.
"Oh, Erin." He kissed her forehead sweetly and she shuddered at the tender gesture. "Relax. I'll protect you tonight." She didn't question the quiet certainty in his voice, or the way he nestled her close to his chest. "Sleep." The gentle command sounded like heaven to her and she let her eyes close heavily, giving in to her exhaustion.
In the morning, she woke up to hands rubbing her back gently. "Jason?"
"Good morning, Erin. Are you feeling all right?" She nodded and he smiled. God, she hadn't realized how much she'd missed that smile in the years since he'd left.
"Are you staying here for very long?" she asked suddenly, curling her hand around his upper arm.
"Maybe. I hadn't really thought about it."
"Stay with me." It was impulsive, stupid, reckless, and her heart hoped he would say yes. She wanted to cling to anything that made her feel that wonderful, that cherished.
"I suppose I could do that." His arms tightened around her and she nuzzled her nose in his beard. "After all, I need some time to get used to the new, impulsive Erin. She's rather piqued my interest at the moment." He kissed her forehead and then rolled her onto her back. She could feel the evidence of his arousal against her thigh and her legs parted easily for him, welcoming him inside her once more. This was better than everything that had passed away. Maybe there was no need to dwell on it any longer. Maybe this was her first step in moving forward, moving on.
"Thank you," she whispered as she shuddered through another orgasm.
"Yes," he hissed, burying his face in her hair. This felt so right, so good, like she was finally homeward bound, and she fell asleep once more, safe in his arms, a gentle smile on her lips.