January 7, 2007. It's been a while since I've written anything.. and even longer since I've posted anything. However, this is something that I have had an idea for for a very long time, and yes, if you know my other works, it's morbid. Sorry. I like morbid. Quite possibly the most morbid thing I have ever written because of my love for the CloudxTifa relationship. Of course, I needed to ruin it with a death. A character death is a way to find out how other characters are affected... especially if the characters were in love, lovers, or even just friends. I've written the epilogue for this one already, and it's been posted in my writing journal for the longest time. (If you don't want spoilers for the ending of this, I wouldn't go searching through my writing journal then) It was perhaps one of the hardest things I've ever written in my entire life, but for that, I am quite proud of it. Rereading it made me realize that I did want to write more of the introduction and storyline of the whole idea, which is why I wrote this.
One more thing, I'm not sure how often I am going to be able to update because I am extremely overloaded this semester with 20 credit hours (two different colleges), 2 jobs, and I also want to maintain a healthy social life, so... yeah. This semester is going to be interesting. HOWEVER, I will try to write as much as possible.
Now that I've blabbed on and on and on... here it is.
The Gentle Fall of Rain
Prologue
I could see the rain falling all around me, wetting the ground and the stones at my feet, yet I couldn't feel it. I didn't have an umbrella and I was completely soaked, but it was almost as if I wasn't getting rained on. I wanted to get wet. I wanted to feel something… anything…. Even if that meant the simple wet feeling of rain. I wanted to feel the rain falling on my skin and wetting my clothes and hair, yet I couldn't. It was happening, yet it didn't feel like it was. The whole day was happening and it didn't feel like it was. Everything was a blur, a nightmare that I just couldn't grasp.
Friends we had made over the years were standing around me, everyone in black, mourning in their own ways. I didn't know some of them, but they all tried to give me their sympathy in the best way that they could. I suppose I should've said something back, but I didn't want to. I couldn't even pay attention to the children holding onto their mothers to keep dry, some of them holding small bouquets of flowers to put on the gravestone that was directly in front of my feet. Crying could be heard around me, yet I didn't feel the tears running down my face, for there weren't any. No, no tears. I hadn't cried at all, not wanting to accept what had happened. I had to be dreaming. It was too simple… too fast. There was no possible way that I was standing over the grave of the person I loved most in this world. I was going to wake up. I had to.
I held my rings in my clenched fist, barely being able to feel the bite of the diamond into my flesh and not doing anything about the fact that I was bleeding from it. I felt a hand gently grasp my shoulder and I shook my head, not wanting to be touched or consoled, not even spoken to.
"Tif…" The voice was raspy, just as someone's voice would be after crying. I had never heard Barret's voice sound that way and I wanted him to stop. This all had to stop.
"Don't," I whispered, my voice barely audible at all even though there was a hint of demand buried in there. I lifted my free hand in an attempt to make him stop and just go away, my fingers slowly curling back into a loose fist before I moved my hand so my fingers could carelessly play with my necklace. "Just…"
I wasn't able to say anything else, but I didn't need to because I could see Barret nod his head out of my peripheral vision. It seemed as though he understood it all, but I just couldn't. Without a word, he gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze and then a gentle kiss on the cheek before walking away to talk to some of the guests who came to pay their respects.
I couldn't talk to anyone. All I could do was stare at the engraved name on the gravestone in front of me and convince myself that this was a nightmare. The worst nightmare I had ever had in my entire life.