Disclaimer- I do not own, nor am I affiliated with, Dick Wolf or Law and Order and any of its affiliates in any way, shape, or form.
Chapter One
Clear spatters of rain began to stain the 1 year old piece of stone standing two feet from the ground. The only symbol of a soul once lived and breathed, loved and laughed, experienced and roamed the earth.
Mud splatters up from the ground with each rain drop, pushing bouts of mud onto the already soaked stone. Instead of cleaning it, though, she watches the mud, and she watches the pouring rain rinse away the mud only to splash it up once again. The pattern stays the same each time it rains, never changing, not even an inch. Just like the inhabitant in the ground; never changing, not even an inch.
"It's been a whole year now, Lilly, and I still can't believe you're gone…" she whispers, touching the grave lightly with the tips of her fingers as rain taps heavily on the clear plastic raincoat.
"Are you happy where you are, Lilly, are you safe, Lilly?" These questions constantly filled her thoughts and though she always asked and asked she never got an answer. "I'm sorry, Lilly, I'm so sorry… please don't hate me…" she whispers now as her tears mix with the hundreds of thousands of rain drops accumulating around her.
A gust of wind blows through and for a split second she can almost hear Lilly's voice, can almost feel Lilly's slender arms wrapping around her waist. But alas, it's just the rain and the fact remains that she's still standing here alone where probably Lilly can't even hear her. But talking…talking helps. In fact, talking helps a lot.
"Your baby brother is one today; that's what makes today so bittersweet for me, Lilly. God took you the day he gave Adam to us. And your little brother, he's just like you; everything about him reminds me of you. His demeanor, his stance- even though he can't yet stand- his personality, they're all you, Lilly. And I miss you so much, Lilly. The only thing that keeps me going sometimes is that I know that you're with your daddy now. Well, with your other daddy; because you had one here too, and he misses you too, Lilly."
And yet, there was still just the sound of pitter patter from the rain hitting the stone. It was a terrible, lonely sound; not to hear a voice, not to feel the warmth of the person you've longed to feel. And she would never feel that person again.
"Your little brother, I nurse him like I did you when you were born. Oh I used to spend hours just holding you and rocking you, and nursing you. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world, knowing I was the one feeding you, helping you to survive. I wish you could have gotten to experience that one day, Lilly. You'd have loved that feeling and I'd have loved to have watched you with a little boy or girl of your own. You were always so good with kids, Lilly. Then again, you were pretty much good at everything. You lit up a room when you went into it, Lilly, and I always loved that about you; then again, I loved everything about you. I still do, Lilly."
Tears fell from her eyes and mixed in with the dirt that sheathed Lilly's final resting place. "I'm sorry, Lilly. I'm sorry I missed the signs, I'm sorry, Lilly, that I couldn't save you. I've been able to save dozens of people your age but you slipped through my fingers, Lilly, and I'm sorry," she cried. Guilt consumed her, pouring through her being and filling her to the brim.
And finally, she stood, looking down once again at the headstone which read, 'Lilly Belle Dutton-Goren; beloved daughter and friend, October '89- February '08.'
And with one last wiping of the tears, Alex made her way to the same black SUV that she'd had for years, climbing into the warm vehicle and driving away from the cemetery.