I hold it all when I hold you, a jak and daxter fanfic

A/N: Inspired by Anberlin's song, Time and Confusion. Disclaimers: I don't own the song, or any of the characters of the Jak universe.

"Dax? Hey, Dax, wake up!"

The ottsel cracked one eye open and sent his sister, who was hovering over him, a half-lidded glance from his lying-down spot on the couch.

"Nu-uh. After cruising through the wastelands with you all day, I'm not going anywhere." He rolled over to emphasize his point, his back facing his younger twin sister.

Aerin clasped her hands together, pouting.

"Daxie, pleeeeease", she begged. "Jak's out running errands for Samos, and I'm bored out of my mind!"

He flipped over, sat up on his haunches and pointed a furry finger right at her nose, large blue eyes closed to annoyed slits.

"I could give a kangarat's butt. I'm tired, and I. Want. SLEEP! Now bug off! Go play some videogames or chase leapers or something. Or go to sleep yourself, that would take a load off my mind."

Aerin scowled as she watched him flump back on the sofa, stretching once before curling up again, his back facing her in a clear indication that he had already shut her out completely.

Finally giving up, the girl huffed, letting herself drop to the carpet next to the couch and leaning against the armchair that faced it, arms folded against her chest as she decided to brood. Aw, man, why did Jak have to go off on that mission all by himself while she and Daxter had been running around the wasteland searching for artifacts? Sure, the trio was usually inseparable, but after that long all-nighter Jak had pulled, his two best friends had decided to let him rest for as long as he wanted while they went off to pick up artifacts for Sig – who was starting to get fed up with all the politics and thinking that involved in being the new king of Spargus and was almost at the brink of ditching the daily court session and just going out himself. When the brother-sister duo finally returned to Haven city, just barely missing getting caught in the sandstorm in the Wasteland and after having to listen to Sig gripe a bit, they learned that Samos had sent Jak out to Haven Forest to find and gather some bits of green eco that had gotten scattered after the Metal Head incident a few months before. Aerin had, of course, insisted they go out and find him, but Daxter convinced her that they were deserving of some rest, too, and besides, they'd probably make Jak worry his head off if they passed out from exhaustion in the middle of the forest. So they both went to nap, but Aerin, being the restless person she was, could only sleep a little bit, and before two hours' length she was already at Daxter's heels, trying to get him to wake up and do something with her so she wouldn't be bored.

But he didn't want to – all he wanted to do was sleep. And if he had his way, she would be off in dreamland, too, and out of his fur. And out of trouble.

At this thought, Aerin couldn't help but smile. Really, her brother could be a big pain in the butt, annoying and big-headed, always teasing her, but…he was much more reliable than most people gave him credit for. She and Jak, and now Tess, too, knew how amazing and loyal Daxter was, but only Aerin, being his younger twin sister and having been by his side almost all the time ever since they both could remember, truly knew just how much of a man her brother was. Even after being turned into an ottsel, he never really changed – he still worked hard every day, protected and stuck up for her when necessary, tried to take care of her whenever possible, making sure she never got into more trouble than necessary. In fact, he seemed to have gotten more "older brotherly" as an ottsel than as an actual human – maybe because he felt he had to make up for not being physically strong enough to be able to protect her. That…was just the way he was, wasn't it? He teased and picked on her, but never let anyone else do so, and he always made sure she was safe and well-cared for.

Smiling a bit, Aerin scooted closer to the couch where her brother slept, fingers moving on their own to slowly touch his soft orange fur, being careful so as not to wake him – for sure she'd get yelled at if she did. Although she wouldn't very well admit it openly to people, Daxter meant almost everything to Aerin, and she'd gladly place her life on the line for him – not that she'd ever tell him that. Really, the two of them had gotten into a lot of trouble, whether it was making mischief along with Jak or trying to save the world. When they got thrown into this future, so different from their own, and had to live all by themselves, forced to grow up almost overnight, when they came up with a suicidal plan to rescue Jak after two years of preparations and searching for him. Through it all, the happy times and the bad, they always had each other, and one never let the other give up hope.

Aerin leaned her head against her arm on the edge of the couch, her free hand still stroking her brother's fur gently. Yeah…they had always been together – and forever, even if they had significant others that took more of their time, their bond would never, ever be broken.

Smiling to herself, the memories of all the time they spent together flooded her mind, and the words of a song played on her lips; she sang them softly, almost inaudibly so as not to awaken her brother:

Live for today, we'll dream tomorrow
We've got big plans in sight
We'll take this city, and by nightfall
the bright lights are calling
Everything is going our way
Everything is just as we planned
This is our future for what we've heard,
and I've still got your hand

And it feels like we could last forever
And I'm not doing this alone

When memories fade, we've got each other
When time and confusion collide
singing, "I hold it all when I hold you."
When friends walk other ways, we've got each other
I hold it all when I hold, I hold it all when I hold you

Tears began to streak slowly as she remembered the sad times they had been through – when they thought they had lost their beloved friends forever, when they were sure they were alone in an unforgiving, alien world. Aerin still remembered vividly the many nights she'd cry, hoping, wishing that Jak was still alive and safe somewhere. And Daxter there, curled up against her side to comfort her, just as shaken as she was, but of course, he'd never, ever allow his "little sister" see that.

We fell on hard times
This isn't the ideal
We're miles from home, doing the best that we can
I won't do this without you
Won't do this without you, so take heart
'Cause you know that you have mine

And it feels like, we could last forever
And I'm not doin' this alone.

The memories of the past year now came to mind; her brother and Jak getting thrown out of the city and into the unforgiving Wastelands, and her only finding out through blackmailing Vin, when everyone was trying to hide the unfair sentence the Haven City Council had given Jak – and the fact the faithful Daxter had gone after him – from her. The moment she found them again, safe in the city of Spargus, the relief that washed over her when she saw that familiar furry orange mug and Jak's handsome face. Then and there she knew it didn't matter where or how they lived or who else was around – as long as they had each other.

With a smile that helped keep back the tears that welled up, Aerin kept singing, still being careful to keep her voice to a whisper:

It's not about the money we make
It's about the passions that we ache for
What makes your heart beat faster
Tell me now, what does your body long after
I don't care now where we live
It's not where, or what, or who we were with.
I just need you in my life, so promise me again!

When memories fade, we've got each other
When time and confusion collide
singing "I hold it all when I hold you."
When friends walk other ways, we've got each other
I hold it all when I hold, I hold it all when I hold you

***

Jak tapped his boots on the ground a little to loosen the bits of dirt on them before entering the apartment he shared with Aerin and Daxter, not wanting to hear a griping from them about the dirt after a long day's work. With a slight shake to his head and a quick inspection of his boots, satisfied they were clean enough, he unlocked the door to the apartment and stepped inside – bracing himself for the expected immediate assault for skipping out on his day off and going to work.

What he actually saw, however, wasn't anything even close to what he expected. Instead of the brother-sister duo indignantly voicing his irresponsibility with himself, he found them both asleep, Aerin sitting on the floor and leaning against the couch, head on her arm, and Daxter curled up cozily against her on the couch cushions, looking quite satisfied as he snored softly under his sister's protective hand on his back.

At the sound of the door opening and being closed again Daxter's long ears pricked, and he raised his head, blue eyes fluttering open and meeting Jak's darker orbs from across the room.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you", the blond quickly apologized in a low voice, walking slowly towards the ottsel and his sister.

Daxter nodded.

"Welcome back, Jak", he greeted, also keeping his voice low, blinking his eyes a few times and yawning, still a bit sleepy. He turned his gaze on his sister, smiling a bit at her innocent-looking form as she slept.

"She's kinda cute, ain't she?"

With a small, rather embarrassed smile, Jak nodded. "Especially when she's up and running."

"Eh, I kinda like her better this way. She's too much trouble when she's awake."

His friend stifled a chuckle and shook his head.

"You can't help but tease, can you?"

Daxter sent him a cocky grin. "I do my best. Can't lose to her, after all, now, can I?"

Even after all this time, Jak still wasn't too sure what his sibling friends meant when they said "lose to the other", but he didn't think they really got it themselves. It could mean the tease-fests they liked to have fun with, but their teasing was just the way they showed they cared for each other.

And care they did; for even as he teased his sister, Jak could see the ottsel gently pat the girl on the head, sharp blue eyes watching as her breathing rose and fell, with a very protective air about him, like nothing could happen to her – not on his watch.

"Hey, take a picture, why don't ya? Instead of just standing there, go to bed. I don't want Aerin here pissing about how you don't take care of yourself when she wakes up and you're still prancing around."

His friend's remark, curt but filled with his thoughtfulness, made Jak smile as he shrugged off his jacket, already turning to head down the hall.

"All right, I'm going already."

"And Jak?"

He stopped to look back at the ottsel. Daxter had one paw on his sister's red hair, resting on the top of her head; it was obvious he had been stroking it. His eyes were on her, then turned to face his friend, one brow lifted and an impish smirk on his muzzle.

"Don't tell her anything, okay? You know I don't wanna ruin my image."

The blond rolled his eyes and chuckled, slinging his jacket over his shoulder and making his way to the bathroom.

"Like always, buddy. Like always."

Daxter watched his best friend's back disappear through a door, then turned back to his sister. His sharp ears picked up that she was still breathing regularly, her heart beating slowly and steadily, indicating that she was still off in dreamland. With a soft movement he placed a stray lock of fiery red-orange hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, Rinnie, you're right", he murmured, using the nickname he often called her by as a child. He smirked; his hearing was much, much better than a normal human's, and he had heard her sing, all the time pretending to sleep. "Nothing can stand in our way, huh, as long as we hold on to each other. Eh…and I'll let Jak in on the act a little, too, just 'cause you like him so much and 'cause he happens to be my best friend. And of course, Tess – I just can't seem to live without the girl anymore. Hm, must be my undying charm". He grinned.

The ottsel silenced momentarily as he watched her take a deeper breath, thinking maybe she would awaken, but the girl promptly returning to her regular breathing.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea", Daxter mused, stretching once before curling back to his position next to her. "We gotta rest up, 'cause I'm sure we're gonna party aaalll night again."