AN: This written for the intention of a video skit. Involving non-canon Doctor Incarnations with the OC of my Youtube personality. Really just a parody skit. Written precisely for the people who are supposed to act the parts.
JM is sitting, vlogging in the office when she suddenly hears a loud WHIRLING sound coming from the bedroom. She sticks her head out of the doorway to investigate and see's a big blue police box smack in the middle of her room.
Startled and terrified, she jolts back into the office, slamming the door to search for a weapon of some sort. She is interrupted seconds later by a stranger stumbling into the office.
A strange man, dressed in unusual attire moves forward as she readies a lamp to hit him with.
"Who the hell are you?!" she shouts.
Catching his breath, the man coughs and emits a gold smoke into JM's face. She coughs, angrily glaring at him.
When his composure is gained, he stands tall and replies. "I'm the Doctor... American accent? Oh, that's weird... Dude – water - adveTIZEment – BRILLIANT!.. I mean...uh – Sweet?"
"Doctor WHO!?" she replies madly, raising the lamp as a warning.
He smiles smugly, straightening his collar. "Just – The Doctor... Hoped in from the 90's – excellent decade!"
He paused for a moment, presenting a small plastic bag from his overcoat. He leans forward with a serious expression. "That reminds me...Would you like - a beanie baby? ….anyways no time for that. This is an emergency. AM I ...GINGER?"
A confused look strikes her face as she lowers the lamp. This man is insane, going a mile a minute about nothing in particular. "No."she replies aggressively, jutting her head forward as if he's a moron.
He groans loudly, swinging his body and fits in frustration. "Ahhhhgg... Quick! Find something to mortally wound me with!"
"What?!" she exclaims.
He scans the room for anything handy. "Here!" He grabs scissors off the desk and proceeds to stab himself with it while JM screams out in horror.
The Doctor clenches his chest and with a harbored voice he says "There, that should do it."
Shaking her head with confusion and shock, JM goes to reach out and help but is stopped when a raging golden light emits from his being. She shields her face from the bizarre force of brightness.
When the air has settled, she find herself face to face with an entirely different man. He's a skinny Indian man in the same exact clothes.
"I'm BROWN!" he proclaims excitedly, holding his hands in front of him jubilantly. "But, still not what I wanted..."
Hurriedly, he grabs the scissors again but JM grabs it before he can stab himself.
"What the hell is going on!?" she roars with fiery eyes..
"Time Lord.-alien- regeneration- ahgh", he exclaims, shaking his hands in explanation. "– I don't die."
With no patience left, he brings the scissors back to himself and explodes with glowing light for the second time. JM's hair blows from the wave of energy emitting from the transformation.
"How do I look?"
JM opens her eyes to reveal a woman standing before her, dressed in the man's cloths. Her mouth hangs open as she stares incredulously with her brows rising high.
"What?" the female Doctor asks, looking down at her figure. Gasping, the Doctor runs out of the room and into the bathroom across the hall.
A troubled, drawn out groan emits from inside the open bathroom. "Ohhhh- no, no, no, no, no!"
JM approaches the bathroom and watches as the Doctor examines his new appearance.
"I'm a girl! This is terrible!" He says, sizing up the body that has dark reddish hair. "hmm, almost ginger, though..."
He/she – it's quite confusing at this point, turns on her newly regenerated heels and faces JM.
"You. Girl. One more go. I can't stay -" the Doctor gestures at 'her' body. "-like this."
All JM can do is stare with a cocked eyebrow, still not registering the total utter ridiculousness of the situation.
"Have you go anything quick?" asks the Doctor.
JM stands blankly for a moment before a light flickers on in her mind. "Yeah! Wait a sec." She disappears from the Doctor's view and comes back a few moments later holding a pistol.
The Doctor makes a grunt of disgust. "Oh, I should've known. Americans, the whole lot of you. Obsessed with violence."
"Well what do you want?" JM exclaims flatly – throwing her hands in the air, unamused that this intruder is now insulting her.
A timer can be heard going off in the next room and the Doctor catches a whiff of something delicious in the air. A blank look crosses her face like she's extracted herself from the moment at hand. "I'm hungry, are those cookies?"
She walks past right past JM and heads for the kitchen, leaving JM in a fit of frustrated confusion. She shakes her head angrily before turning to follow the stranger.
"You know I think it's time you get the hell out of my house." she booms, stepping into the kitchen only to pause at the look on the Doctor's face.
She has a pile of half eaten cookies dangling from her mouth, processing a set of foreboding thoughts.
"What now?" JM asks, leaning on one leg and placing both fists on her each side of her hips.
"Peanut cookies?" the Doctor replies, letting crumbs fall out of her mouth.
"- Body's allergic," is all she can manage to explain before another regeneration is set off.
This time there is no reaction from JM as the Doctor bursts into the third geyser of light and takes the form of a blonde haired man. "I must be going nuts." she says, exasperated.
"There we are," he says with a bright smile and an English accent. "Now- where were w -"
He stops in his tracks just as he is about to walk past JM to inspect his appearance again. A look of exhaustion overpowering his features.
"- regeneration... to much -"he squeaks, wobbling on his feet until he collapses to the ground.
In his wake, a cloud of stinky smoke flutters up in front of JM's face.
-Later-
"Doctor?" JM approaches a moping man handing his head low on his shoulders. With a box in her hand, she goes to sit down with him on a pair of steps. "I know it's disappointing you can't be a real Ginger, but I got something that may fix it for you."
She presents the box as he begrudgingly turns to look at it. "Just For Men," it reads – orange colored hair dye.
She smiles, making a noise of encouragement and shaking the box like it's a prize. The Doctor eyes the box, unamused.
-NEXT TIME -
Heavy, polished shoes boom along a tiled floor. The Doctor and JM are seen standing inside a supermarket as the Doctor inspects bananas for a perfect bunch.
"Some things never change." he smiles widely, presenting his choice in bananas.
Two figures approach the scene – a black male and a blonde female.- wearing dark sunglasses and black suits. The blonde crosses her arms, standing tall, clearing her throat loudly.
JM turns around and quickly nudges the Doctor to come to attention, whispering harshly at him. "Doctor, I think we have a problem."
The Doctor turns to the man and woman in black, raising an eyebrow.
"I believe you're unauthorized to be here, yeah?" the woman pronounces in an eerily familiar London dialect.
The Doctor's eyes go wide with recognition. "Rose?"
The woman smiles smugly, removing the sunglasses and tilt her head just slightly, eying him cheekily.
"S'been a while," she says, grinning wildly with her tongue between her teeth. "-Doctah."