a/n; just something I was thinking about because i ship jj and hotch like its my job….i mean it kinda is. This takes place in the season 4 finale (a.k.a when hotch gets STABBED)
any wayssss enjoy!
Kaitlin
If I Had Only Been There
"Hey," JJ murmured as she entered Hotch's office. They had now been dating for about six months and she could tell when he was upset, like she knew he was tonight.
"Hey," he said with all the energy he could muster. He put his pen down and sighed.
"I just talked to Haley. I told her what happened. She said she'll keep Jack with her tonight and tomorrow," JJ explained. Haley and Hotch had been separated for about a year, and even though the divorce had been bitter, they still cared about each other and about Jack. Custody hadn't been an issue in their split, and Haley was very friendly with JJ and Hotch.
The last few days had been particularly rough on the whole team, but especially their unit chief. The case had been hard, and events had not gone as they had hoped.
"Good," Hotch said nodding. JJ walked around to his chair, and put her hands on his shoulders, massaging them gently.
"This isn't your fault, Aaron," JJ reminded him softly.
"I know…but it feels like it is," He said with a shrug.
"You want to go home now? There's plenty of scotch in your apartment," JJ said with a small smile.
Hotch gave a half hearted smirky, "I have to finish these reports. Strauss is up my ass because of how everything transpired," He groaned, "But then I'll be home."
"Ok," JJ murmured. She leaned oer and kissed her boyfriend softly.
"Should I bring home take out?" He asked her sighing.
"No. Don't worry about it. I'll make dinner," JJ said.
"I love you," he told her.
"I love you, too," She said, "Don't be too late, ok?"
"I won't," he assured her. He closed the distance between them with another kiss.
There was a hunger within the kiss driven by Hotch's need to feel something other than guilt, pain and anger, and JJ knew it.
She broke away and walked out the door, giving him a gentle wave as she left.
Hotch sighed inwardly and returned to the stack of paper work that he had left to complete.
.oOo.
JJ turned the key to Hotch's apartment and entered. She shut the door, and typed in the code to the alarm system, disarming it. She dropped her go-bag by the couch and walked into the kitchen. She opened the fridge and started scanning, looking for something that seemed appetizing. She pulled out some chicken, mozzarella, and spaghetti sauce.
"Chicken parm it is," JJ said with a laugh. She placed the items on the counter and began to search for spaghetti. She placed a pot of boiling water on the stove and started heating up oil for the chicken. She placed the chicken in the skillet and began to peruse the cabinets for wine. She needed some. It had been a long day.
She poured herself a glass and walked to the couch. The clock read 8:20pm. Aaron would be home soon. Right as she was about to sit, she heard a knock on the door.
"He forgot his key," JJ smirked. She walked to the front door with wine in hand and opened the door.
"Hi honey," JJ began, but was shocked to see that it wasn't Aaron, but none other than his enemy, George Foyet. JJ gasped as he pushed a gun into her stomach and pushed her inside the apartment, knocking the wine glass out of her hand and onto the floor. He slammed the door as he led her farther into the apartment, to Hotch's bed room. JJ cried out and fought the whole time, but he was stronger, and he had a gun.
"Let me go," JJ cried out, as he pushed her to the ground and pinned her on the floor.
"Shut up, bitch!" He yelled at her. He straddled her and stroked her hair, "Where's Aaron tonight? Since no one's come to your rescue I assume he's not here," Foyet said tauntingly.
"Go to hell," JJ spat.
"Of course…what are you doing here anyway? A subordinate over that boss's house? Unless….no, Aaron Hotchner wouldn't be one to break the rules. Are you fucking the boss, Agent Jareau?" He said with a wink.
"Fuck. You," JJ told him. With that he cocked his gun, and pushed it hard into her temple. She whimpered.
"Oh you will be, very shortly," He said, grinning. He put his gun in the back of his pants, and with one hand, pinned JJ's wrists above her head. With the other hand, he began unbuttoning her blouse.
"What are you doing?" She cried out, but he ignored her and laughed. He pulled off her blouse, and stared at her chest for a moment, admiring her perfectly sized breasts.
"Very nice. The boss has good taste," He said grinning, wiping the tear away from her eyes. Then he went to work unzipping her skirt. He pulled it off of her.
"Please don't do this," JJ begged.
"Agent Hotchner gave a profile that said that the reason I use a knife is probably because I'm impotent," he taunted, "Now I'll let you tell me, Agent Jareau."
"No. Stop! Please don't," JJ begged, but he ignored her pleas, they only made him more aroused. She tried to fight back, but he slapped her, and restrained her.
He unzipped his pants, and exposed his length to her. She shook her head in refusal, but he put the cocked gun to her head, and he forced her lips to his member, with his hands. She took it into her mouth reluctantly and he pushed her head back and forth as she sucked. He kept the gun on her head, but he enjoyed every bit of this. He want Aaron to suffer, and by hurting JJ, he knew that's exactly what would happened.
JJ released him with a pop, after he came in her mouth. She was thoroughly disgusted, but there was still more to be done. He pulled off his pants completely, and he tore off JJ's panties. She was embarrassed, but even more terrified than anything. Where was Aaron?
Without any warning, George thrust his hardness into her unaroused center.
JJ cried in pain, sure something had torn. George got off on her cries and began pounding into her.
"Stop! Get off of me please!" She begged through tears. He ignored her pleas and cries and pounded into her. She was in so much pain that she just wanted to die at that point. Besides that, her heart broke as she thought of how much this would hurt her boyfriend.
But then, JJ heard something that caused her to have hope. She heard the front door open.
"Jen, I'm home," He called. Foyet quickly covered her mouth.
"Honey, something's burning," he called as he shut the door and dropped his go bag. Foyet pushed his hand harder on her mouth to keep her from screaming.
"Jen? Babe?" He called. Then, JJ bit George's finger, and he pulled his hand back in pain.
"Aaron!" She screamed, but was quickly silenced by George slapping his hand to her mouth. Gun up, Hotch ran quickly through the rooms, and what he saw sickened him when he reached his bedroom.
"You son of a bitch, get off of her!" Hotch growled. This was an anger that JJ had never seen before.
Hotch pointed his gun at Foyet.
"You put down that gun or I will shoot her," George taunted with a grin.
"GET OFF OF HER!" Hotch yelled as he looked at JJ, helpless, tears streaming down her face.
"Oh the poor baby," George said, pursing his lips, as he slowly rolled off of JJ. With one hand wrapped around her neck, and the gun pressed in to the back, George used the other to pull up his pants. JJ stood there in fear, naked, trembling.
"Agent Jareau, would you liked to tell Agent Hotchner if I'm impotent?" George said grinning, and he pushed JJ into the wall and aimed is gun at Hotch.
"You son of a bitch," Hotch roared and dove for Foyet. Before Foyet could react, Hotch had knocked the gun out of his hand, and slammed him into the ground. JJ quickly ran to the phone to call 911. He punched Foyet multiple times with out stopping, and when Foyet tried to punch back, Hotch dodged it.
He knew Foyet was close, and so he took one final punch at him, and it was fatal. He threw the dead body of his enemy to the side, and ran to his girl friend, who had dropped the phone.
"They're coming," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. And then she collapsed in fear, shock and agony.
"Oh, jesus, Jen," Hotch murmured as he caught her. The gently slid them both to the ground, and held her tightly and sobs wracked through her body.
"Shh, its okay baby, it's over," he told her, stroking her hair. He placed gentle kisses on her head. She couldn't speak; she was absorbed in her sobs.
After a short time, the police and medics were on the scene. Hotch had managed to wrap JJ up in his bath robe.
"Jen, the medics are here. They're gonna take you to the hospital," he said softly.
"Come with me?" she asked quietly.
"Of course, babe," he nodded, kissing her again.
Then the medics led JJ out, Hotch following closely behind. He watched the M.E examine Foyet's body. He felt no remorse. Only anger and guilt.
.oOo.
The doctor had had to sedate JJ in order to keep her calm. They gave JJ a rape kit, and after the exam was done, JJ was given some pain killers, which helped her fall asleep.
"Jennifer Jareau?" The doctor asked entering into the waiting room, where Hotch was waiting, head cradled in his hands. He had called Emily, because she was JJ's best friend, and Dave, because he needed him, and asked them to come to the hospital. Derek, Spencer and Penelope had all been alerted, but he asked them not to come, because JJ was overwhelmed and she needed some time. Though they were reluctant, they had agreed because they wanted what was best for JJ.
"Yes, doctor?" Hotch asked standing. The doctor led him out of the waiting room.
"Agent Jareau did sustain some injuries from her attack, including vaginal tearing, and minor bruisings and contusions. She's drowsy from the pain medicine, but if you want to come in and see her, you may," the doctor said.
"Thank you," Hotch said nodding. He followed the doctor to JJ's room.
"Agent Jareau, your supervisor is here," the doctor said. He apparently had not gotten the memo that Hotch and JJ were together.
"Aaron," JJ murmured.
"Hi, honey," Hotch said quietly. Then the doctor had gotten the message. He walked quietly out of the room so they could have some privacy.
"I'm so sorry," he told her.
"Hey, this isn't your fault," She told him firmly.
"If I had come home with you-" he began.
"Aaron, stop it. Please stop blaming yourself," JJ begged, tears sparkling in her eyes. He got closer and could see the pain and fear she was trying so desperately to hide. She averted her eyes, as to not meet his gaze.
"You're beautiful, you know that?" he asked her, brushing hair out of her face.
"I love you," she whispered.
"I love you, too," he replied.
"Will you call Emily?" she asked.
"I already did. She'll be here shortly. I called Dave, too," he said.
"Good. Thank you," she said quietly. Hotch's phone buzzed.
"That's Emily. I'll be right back," he told her gently. She gave a meek nod, and he walked out the door and answered his phone. Emily told him she was here. He met her in the waiting room and took her to JJ's room.
He leant against the door frame as Emily ran to JJ. Hugging her and kissing her forehead and hugging her more.
"Oh, sweetie," Emily said, comforting her friend.
Hotch watched as Emily busied herself helping JJ, and talking to her and holding her. They were both crying, but Hotch knew JJ was in good hands, so he stayed leaning against the door frame, waiting for Dave.
Although he knew JJ was safe now, and that she didn't want him to blame himself, he could only think of one thing as he watched her.
If I had only been there.