A/N: This is an OC-centric fic. It is seriously AU and takes place years after the point where canon is. Um. This is, at some point, going to be multi-genre. If you're not a fan of the romance, skip it, I guess. The plot picks up immediately from the end of this chapter. And that's that. Read and review, please.
It was the strangest summer on record in Konoha the year that Nagisa Ume fist met her nephew. He was two years old, the only child of Ume's oldest and favorite brother Daisuke. That the boy was not quite three years old and she knew nothing about him wasn't strange in itself. Daisuke often took long-term missions, most lasting a year or more. Today, in fact, he had just come home from a three year term in Ame, soothing relations, and he was returning the next day. The boy, Naoya, was small and round and clearly a Nagisa. He curled up on Ume's couch, which was more of a saggy giant pillow than a couch, his pajamas tangling in his legs. His pacifier was dark blue and scored with teeth marks, like he chewed on it more than sucked on it. Daisuke stood uncomfortably in the doorway between kitchen and living room, and Ume hovered around the living room.
"You're still on leave, right?"
"Of course I'm still on leave. I've got another nine months left," Ume said sourly. This was a bit of a sore point. Yes, she'd almost had her spine torn out. Yes, she still hobbled. Yes, it was sore on rainy days, and yes, her knee was a bit crooked. But three months of inactivity were beginning to drive Ume insane.
"And you don't mind taking him?"
"Not at all. He's a sweet boy."
"Yes, he is," Daisuke said, smiling at Naoya. Naoya curled tighter in on himself, still staring wide-eyed at Ume. She supposed it was her resemblance to Daisuke.
"His things are in this bag"-Daisuke thrust a duffle bag at Ume- "and he's allergic to peanuts. He likes squid especially. Uh…I'm forgetting something. It's probably not important. It can't be if I don't remember it, right?"
"Right. It couldn't be the fact that you're approaching old age."
"Not at all." Daisuke swooped down to kiss Ume's cheek, and then across the room to tickle Naoya.
"Wait! I have a present for you-"
Ume dove into the kitchen, dropping to her knees and rooting through the cabinet. She shoved aside a mostly-full box of tampons, dug under the ropes of peppers. She made a note to move the tampons later, to prevent mixing up tampons and peppers when cooking. That'd be messy. Ah! Her fingers closed around the little loaf of zucchini bread, which she hauled out and wrapped in paper. She tossed it at Daisuke, who was facing the other way and kissing Naoya on the forehead. He caught the bread without looking.
"You behave, little fish. Be good for Auntie, stay off the ceiling, and Daddy will be back before you know it."
Though Naoya didn't speak, Ume had no doubt he understood what Daisuke was saying. Naoya nodded solemnly.
Ume hugged Daisuke tightly. He smelled like the compound, like home-Grandmother's spices, dirt, and the oil used to clean kunai. Though she loved her five brothers equally, Daisuke was actually old enough to have raised her, and he had. He was more of a brother-father than a brother. He was tall, more than six feet, and his dark-green-almost-black hair still showed no gray despite his age. This would be his last mission before retiring and becoming an Academy teacher or a jounin-sensei.
"See you soon, big brother."
"See you soon, Ume-chan."
And then he was gone, for another long year.
Ume sat carefully beside Naoya on the couch, immediately sinking in several inches. Naoya wiggled against her side; this was a good couch for hugs.
"Octopus?" he asked, spitting out the pacifier and pointing to the bag. Ume raised an eyebrow, reached in, and pulled out a stuffed octopus nearly as large as Naoya. Naoya squealed and squashed the octopus against himself.
"Hachi, "he said by way of introduction.
"I'm Ume, Naoya's auntie."
Naoya flopped one of Hachi's tentacles onto Ume's leg.
When Ume looked out the window after tucking Naoya into his bed in the bathtub, it was snowing. No wonder it was so cold in the apartment. It was just after nine o clock at night, and Ume was thoroughly exhausted from chasing Naoya around. He got into everything; ate all the food, walked on the ceiling, and preferred to hide in the cabinets. She went into the only other room in the apartment, her closet-sized bedroom, and crawled over the bed to pull one of Aito's old pullovers out of the laundry pile. Aito was the Nagisa boy closest in age to Ume, turning twenty in a month. He was the ladykiller of the family. Ume wasn't sure what women saw in Aito, who was lazy and not stupid so much as dense.
She trundled herself into the pullover, moving laboriously slow, and pulled the wide sides tight around her stomach. She balanced back on the bed and dropped into the nest of blankets. Snow in August. How ridiculous. But then, this had been an exceptionally strange summer. Snow one day and then killing heat the next, monsoon-level rains that flooded houses and washed away the fields, the sun pale and high in the sky. There were no more flowers. At the Nagisa compound, there were still the old folks, four of the brothers, and a few cousins, and the Nagisas were well-known for the glass-like flowers they grew. Despite all the talents of the family focused on keeping the glass drops alive, they alternately wilted and flourished. It was not a good growing season.
Ume shivered and pulled the covers over her head. There was no oil left in the apartment, and Ume's leave pay didn't stretch far enough to buy more. Feeding Naoya wouldn't be too much of a strain on Ume's finances. She'd always had a bit of a hoarding streak, and had been stashing canned food and dried fruit and dry goods for months. He was toilet-trained, at least, and he didn't need formula. Harou probably still had some of Hansuke's old clothes. Those would fit Naoya. Hansuke had been about Naoya's size at that age, though he was…six now? Seven? Hansuke was a robust, fierce boy. He would be a good ninja someday, if he could develop the skill to control his wild talent with lightning jutsu.
Thunder cracked outside as the snow turned to a lightning storm. Ume wound the blankets into a cocoon, resisting the urge to slip out the window and start whipping off ninjutsu. The traditional Nagisa jutsus were lightning, and Ume's affinity was lightning, as per tradition. There was nothing quite so intense as funneling chakra into the sky during a storm, pulling it back, and hurling it out again. The destruction was incredible. The experience in general was incredible.
Naoya didn't come to Ume during the storm as she would have expected. After all, he was a little boy in a strange place, and storms were frightening at any age. In the morning, he wasn't up ungodly early, another thing that Ume associated with small children. He slept until past noon, and then had a raging tantrum until Ume agreed to take him to the market.
Even in Aito's sweater and ankle-length leggings the market was chilly. The snow had all been washed away, but the light had an eery gray quality to it, a wet cloying sort of thing, like it had frozen and melted. Ume kept Naoya close at hand as she limped through the market, holding his chubby baby hand in hers, and eventually lifted him to her hip. Her back twinged with every step, and Ume had to bite back a groan every few minutes. He was heavy. Naoya jabbed Ume in the shoulder, leaning past Hachi, and pointed to a stall with tantos as big as Daisuke.
"No," Ume said flatly. She was not buying a two year old a tanto. Absolutely not. She did, however, end up buying a string of shuriken for a two year old. Naoya claimed he knew how to use them. This was not a lie on his part. It was just a gross exaggeration.
"Auntie, do you like puppies?" Naoya asked after Ume had given up and put him down. She bent to examine the tiny fish left at the stall.
"Not in particular," Ume said as she pulled Naoya further down the street to the Yamanaka's flower shop. Maybe they had plum blossoms, something to celebrate Naoya. Turned out that they did, and the walk back to Ume's apartment was made quicker by Naoya's off-tune singing and darting back and forth. Ume was reminded of Hanyuu, the neighbor's daughter. She sang like a bird. Naoya pulled himself up onto the bridge's railing and scuttled over the river, arms held out for balance.
"Careful there."
"Yes, Auntie."
"Oh!" Ume cried and lunged forward, dropping packages all across the street as Naoya toppled off the railing. She sprinted up the bridge and vaulted the side, dropping into the river, and splashed frantically around. It didn't accomplish much, but a sleek little head poked out of the water and slithered towards Ume.
"Auntie, it's wet," Naoya grumped. Ume laughed, a shivery nervous sound, and pulled herself up to stand on the water. She trailed behind Naoya back to shore, where the wind had carried off a few packets of seeds, and Nagisa Aito was bent over in the chaos, picking up Ume's things.
"Thank you, Aito," Ume said, lifting Naoya to her hip, and taking the bags.
"No problem, little-oh, who's this?" Aito asked, looking up. He straightened, looming over Ume. "He looks like Daisuke."
"This is Naoya. He's Daisuke's son."
"Oh, that would explain it. 'Lo, little guy." Aito leaned closer to peer at Naoya. They looked a bit alike, but faintly. Aito took more after the siblings' mother Chii, who'd been a branch Hyuuga by birth, and had passed on the dark blue hair to three of the six. Aito was the only one with Byakuugan eyes, but he did have the general Nagisa look.
"Can I accompany you home?" Aito asked as the three of them crossed the bridge.
"No, but I can accompany you home. I meant to stop by anyway. Does Hanou have any of Hansuke's baby things in the attic?"
"He might, I don't know," Aito said with a shrug, "Hansuke's been looking for you, actually. He says you owe him a race."
"I don't know what that's about. How old is Hansuke now?"
"Uh, eight."
"Are you sure?"
"Nope!" Aito laughed. Naoya wiggled so that his head was behind Ume's and he could watch Aito. Aito leaned back to stare at the toddler.
"You're going to scare him!"
"He's not afraid, look-he's going to jump me if you put him down. I should be afraid. Bet you've got a mean punch, little boy."
"My name is Naoya," the boy interrupted. He sounded quite offended to be called little boy, but perhaps this was mollified by what Aito said after.
"Naoya like the great old warrior? I could see that. Ito Naoya and his golden calvary. Yes, I'm sure you'll live up to your namesake."
Naoya ducked his face into Ume's shoulder.
"Oh, he's cute," Aito said wonderingly, "I didn't expect Uptight-Honor-and-Chivalry to go and have a baby and not tell any of us, nevermind a cute baby. Who's your mommy, Naoya?"
Naoya grunted and refused to answer, no matter how much Aito prodded.
" I'd be surprised if Daisuke wasn't his mother with the way he looks," Ume adjusted Naoya's weight, "I mean, look at him. The hair, the eyes, the mouth, even his fingernails look Nagisa. He looks more like Dad than you ever did."
"It's been said that I'm a Hyuuga bastard." Aito shrugged. They rounded onto the long path that would take them to the Nagisa compound. A few places still had scattered snow. "That's probably true. You look like Dad, though. Like ninety percent Dad, ten percent Mom, the reverse for me."
"Yeah, that's a good ratio."
Ume stepped wide over a rut in the path, probably left by Grandfather's goats. As the trio of Nagisas passed under the arch leading to the compound, they were accosted by the herd of goats. Susuwatari, one of the-well, alphas, Ume supposed-nipped at Aito's leg. The other, Comet, tilted his head so his creepy rectangle pupils were locked onto Ume.
"Run!" Aito cried and broke into a run. Ume hopped over Comet, jostling Naoya, and followed Aito into the main building. Grandmother was at the table, holding a steaming mug. She smiled widely when she saw Naoya.
"Hello, Grandmother," Ume said, hugging the old woman. When Ume was a child,Grandmother had been a slender woman who wore kimono every day, and her hair had been a thick bundle of shiny dark green. When she wore it down it reached her ankles. Grandmother was not a kunoichi, but she moved like one. Now Grandmother's hair was more gray than green, and she was a round ball of woman in a butterfly kimono.
"Hello, Ume. Is this the baby Daisuke wrote of?"
"I suppose so." Unless he had another illegitimate son.
Naoya reached for Grandmother. She took him with a wide smile, missing four teeth. Ume moved to sniff the cup. Ginger tea. The whole building smelled of ginger tea.
Aito disappeared into the kitchen. They could hear him banging around, slamming cabinets and clinking pots. Grandmother set Naoya down and the boy waddled after Aito.
"Have you seen the gardens?"
Ume shook her head and followed Grandmother out of the room onto a platform held up by spindly struts, down a rickety staircase against the building, across the grounds, and into the walled-off gardens at the far corner of the compound. Usually the gardens were full of the brilliant glass drops refracting the sunlight. This was a weakly crop, with straggling dead grass in between the rows, and the glass drop buds caught in the mud. There wasn't a flash of light to be seen. Ume remembered spending her summers napping in the gardens and going to bed smelling of sunshine and warmth, like the glass drops.
"They're dying," Ume said, pointing out the obvious.
"Days like this only prolong it," Grandmother sighed. "The green houses don't work for them. Perhaps next year will be better."
Ume knelt in the mud and lifted one of the tiny flowers out of the grass. The petals chimed when they moved, and a band of rainbow spread across the edge when it caught the faint sunlight. They were beautiful flowers when they were healthy.
Grandmother's head twisted round. Ume supposed she had heard something, though Grandmother was old and Ume would theoretically have better hearing. A few minutes passed. Ume went back to pulling the flowers free, but Grandmother continued to stare at the gate. After almost half an hour of this, Ume could hear a strange click-click-click sound. She stood and went to the gate, leaned over, and swept her eyes across the grounds. There was a man weaving down the path to the gardens, making the clicking sound with his tongue. His eyes were closed.
He stopped a scant few inches from the gate, his face uncomfortably close to Ume's. She flushed and hopped off the gate. He swung it open, holding his other hand out. Grandmother took his free hand and drew him over to stand in front of the two Nagisas.
"Ume, this is the gardener."
"You hired a gardener?"
"He's very good at what he does," Grandmother said with a cackle. Ume's face turned a darker red.
"Oh."
"Fuyuno Junichi," the gardener interrupted, turning his head to face the space between Ume and Grandmother. One of his eyes drifted open, showing an iris the color of raw gold, and then twitched shut again. "That's my name."
"Nagisa Ume. That's mine."
Grandmother cackled again. Ume edged aside.
"Grandmother…?"
"This was how I met my husband," Grandmother sighed, lost in memory for a moment. Ume almost smiled, and then the blasted old woman screeched in laughter and spit on the ground.
"He's dead now."
"Oh."
Junichi moved as if to leave. Grandmother snatched up his other hand and turned him to face Ume fully.
"This is my granddaughter, 'Ichi. She's a very beautiful girl. Clan heiress, too. Skilled ninja, rich, lovely, single…you see where this is going?"
"Can't say I do," Junichi yawned. Ume's face, were it made into a mask, could have been used to scare small children. She was caught between horror and amusement, and her expression reflected that. She's selling me off! My own grandmother! Is there no justice in the universe? she screeched inside, the only place that was functioning as it should.
"G-gran-" Ume started. Grandmother kept talking on top of Ume's indignant sputterings. Junichi looked to be stifling laughter.
"You're a good boy, 'Ichi, and she's getting to be an old lady. You know none of them are married? It's disgraceful, it is. It would make this old woman so happy to see her youngest grandchild married and safe before she died."
"I'm independently wealthy!" Ume cried.
"Isn't Master Hanou married?" Junichi wondered.
"So happy," Grandmother repeated. "I'm getting on in years, Ume-chan, and Junichi is a good boy. Grandfather and I could arrange a fall wedding…"
"Grandmother!"
"Nagisa-sama, please, don't force me to marry your granddaughter-"
"Ume, if this is because Junichi is blind, that's no matter! He does that click-click thing and he can go around things. Or is this because you're worried he won't measure up? Let me tell you, girl, this old lady has seen a lot of things in her time, and look at these hands-" Grandmother held up one of Junichi's hands to demonstrate, "-real big. I'm willing to bet he'll measure up."
Ume said nothing, her mouth frozen in an n-shape of absolute horror. She didn't-she-she-did-she did.
Junichi tilted his head.
"I'm willing to drop my pants if necessary."
"That won't be necessary!" Ume said immediately. Junichi shrugged.
"Just trying to settle the argument."
"Grandmother, I'm not marrying your gardener."
"Oh, so it's a class thing," Grandmother said with a sage nod, "The high-and-might lady-ninja can't marry the low-and-dirty gardener boy."
"That's not it at all!"
"Then there's no problem at all, it's settled, and I'll leave you two to talk. I'm going to discuss details with Grandfather."
With this, the old woman bustled off as quickly as she could. Ume's mouth worked soundlessly for several seconds.
"Did we just get engaged?" Junichi asked after a moment.
"I think so."
"Well. Are you as pretty as the boss says?"
"I don't know how to answer that question."
"Modest, huh? I bet you're ugly then."
"Hey!"
"If you were beautiful you wouldn't be so quick to dismiss it. Unless you're some kind of diamond in the rough, in which case, well, I'll never know either way. Are you rich?"
"I guess you could say that."
"Clan heiress?"
This, at least, Ume could answer without thinking, and she did with relief. "Yes, I am."
"That's not such a bad deal. Started out a gardener, end up a clan head…it could be worse."
"Hey, wait, what about you? How do I know you're not some kind of murderer?"
"I'm blind. I couldn't kill anyone."
"I know a blind guy who could flay a man at twenty yards."
"I'm not a shinobi, though."
"Guess not."
They fell into an awkward silence broken by Grandmother's reedy shriek from the main building, calling them for dinner.
Ume stepped out the gate and paused.
"Do you need to me lead you or something?"
"Of course not."
Junichi breezed past, click-clicking. He only tripped twice on the staircase and righted himself before Ume even noticed.
The main building had a table large enough to fit the entire clan in its heyday. This table was a venerable old thing, brought from Whirlpool when the clan left, and had seated six generations of Nagisas in its time. Ume rubbed the table when she sat down. A little further down, where Naoya sat in a chair on top of three phone books, she'd carved the kanji for her name when she was seven. Though the table was huge, there were only a few people, spaced wide apart. There was Grandmother and Grandfather, Naoya, Hansuke, Hanou's wife Nanako, Ume, Junichi, and Aito. Hanou was on a mission in Kiri, Daisuke was on his way to Ame, and Aki, Akio, and Akira were spending a few days with their Hyuuga cousins.
Grandmother called the little group to attention from the head of the table, folded her hands, and leaned forward.
"Before we eat, I think that we should discuss a thing of great importance."
Naoya looked up, his little peaked face splitting in a smile. "I got potty-trained."
"That's wonderful, child, but not what I meant."
"I can hit a carrier kite with a kunai," Hanou offered.
"Not that, either."
"I got another girlfriend and this one isn't pregnant," Aito said.
"No-oh, that's good, Aito."
"I can hit a pregnant lady with two kunai," Hanou muttered. Sounding surprisingly derisive for a small child, Naoya cut in,
"You couldn't hit a pregnant lady with a boulder."
"Ai, ai, children, hush. Grandmother will tell you," Grandfather murmured. His voice never came above a whisper these days. Grandmother cracked her neck and then each of her knuckles in order.
"I have brought you all here to announce a wedding."
"I'm too little to get married," Naoya objected.
"Not you. Ume and Junichi."
"The gardener?" Aito asked in disbelief. He twisted to stare at Junichi, who had long ago focused his closed eyes on the table. Aito blinked repeatedly.
"I mean, he's attractive, I'll give you that, but Ume, I didn't know indigo hair was your thing. But as an aside, Junichi, if she happens to change her mind…I could be single in a heartbeat," Aito laughed, but Ume could tell he was serious. Junichi blanched.
"It's not because he's my type, Aito."
"I have arranged this most fortuitous marriage," Grandmother boomed in her most impressive clan head voice, "because the Fuyuno family is long renowned for both their gardening abilities and for their unique chakra. I would also like to see Ume-chan taken care of after I have passed. Junichi, my granddaughter will give you children as strong as they are lovely. Ume, I have known Junichi since he was a boy, and I have never met a man more honorable, or more kind. He will provide extraordinarily well in the years to come. I can only hope that your brothers marry so well."
"Hanou is married," Nanako interjected, " Hanou and I have been married for fifteen years, Nagisa-sama."
Ume dropped her forehead to the table, face bright red. Junichi faced in Grandmother's general direction.
"Are you sure this is wise, Nagisa-sama? She is so young, and I'm sure she hopes to date a little more before marrying…? Or perhaps she has a boyfriend?"
"No, no boyfriend," Ume groaned.
"This has been decided, Junichi. You and Ume will marry September first."
"Grandmother…"
"Yes, Nagisa-sama."
"I wouldn't want to be unfair about this, though," Grandmother said, her wrinkly smile showing red-stained teeth. "You can and will have dates until then, as the children do these days. I won't even have them chaperoned. In fact, you can have your first date tonight."
Ume groaned again. This wasn't a spur of the moment idea. Grandmother wasn't spur of the moment. This was an ambush that Grandmother had probably been planning since the day Ume was born.
Grandmother gestured with one little hand, "Go along. You two can eat separately."
Ume stood so fast the chair was knocked over.
"Yes, Grandmother," she said as she stormed out of the room. Junichi stood and clicked. He ruffled Naoya's hair as he passed.
"Great-gramma," Naoya began, "if Auntie marries Junchee do I marry him too?"
The two of them ate in what had been Ume's room. The walls were still bright yellow, and still plastered with posters. The bed was still heaped with ragged stuffed animals. Ume sat cross-legged in the sea of animals, a squid in her lap and a dog on her shoulder, the bowl of miso on the blanket in front of her. Junichi sat in the chair, bowl on the desk. He tilted the chair back against the wall.
"Somehow I've never been on a date quite like this."
"Neither have I."
"I don't think you've been on many dates."
"You're wrong. I go on lots of dates."
This was a lie. Ume often went to the movies with Aito, and occasionally to a bar with her teammates. She didn't often go out with men.
"Tell me about the last one, then."
Ume slurped at the bowl of miso as she thought.
"We went to see Triple Star Cow Man at the cinema by my apartment. We got dinner and a drink and then I went home and so did he."
"That's incredibly lame and ten to one it was with one of your brothers."
"Not at all!"
"You're going to be my wife, Ume, I need to know these things about you. I need to know if you're going to divorce me for some devilishly handsome ex-boyfriend."
"I doubt that'll happen."
"Because I'm more handsome than any of your ex-boyfriends."
"Sure."
"Ume…" Junichi said after an awkward silence, "How many kids do you want?"
"Oh, god. I don't know. We're not even married yet. How many do you want?"
"Seven," he said immediately. Ume choked on her miso.
"Seven?"
"No, not really," he laughed, "However many, I guess."
"This is so awkward.."
"Some conversations need to be held."
Ume considered this, setting the bowl back down on the coverlet. She reached for the squid in her lap and began to wring the tentacles together nervously.
"On a note I'm sure will be much more pleasant for you, do you find me handsome, Ume?" Junichi asked casually. His spoon of miso didn't quite reach his mouth, bumping the corner and spilling soup down his face. He muttered a curse and swiped at his face with his other hand. Ume wrung the tentacles harder.
"I suppose so. I don't have much for a frame of reference."
"I've been told that you are half Hyuuga. Is this true?"
"Yes, it is."
"I've also been told the Hyuuga women tend to be ravishing. I'll count that in your favor."
"You're very shallow, Fuyuno-san."
"Just call me Junichi, Ume."
"You don't deny it."
"Why deny what's true?"
Strange, Ume thought. A shallow, vain blind man. It wasn't as if he could value appearances. Although perhaps he could.
"Are you sure this is alright with you, Junichi?" Ume hoped he didn't notice the slight pause before his name. "An arranged marriage, I mean."
"You wouldn't think that two adults could have an arranged marriage," Junichi said pensively, "But it doesn't bother me. If everyone hasn't been lying to me, you're beautiful and rich and you'll be politically powerful in a few years. I could do worse. Is it alright with you?"
"Oh, I-" Ume bit down on the squid's plush head to keep from blurting whatever popped into her head. "I like it fine. I'm used to doing what Grandmother wants. And what's best for the clan. And for me, I mean. Well, what's best for the clan is best for me. And Grandmother has decided you're best for the clan. So you're best for me too. She's an old lady. She should know what's best for her granddaughter."
"Breathe in, would you? I'm not going to strangle you."
"I'm pretty sure Aito wants to strangle me sometimes," Ume sighed.
"Why is it that I am with my fiancee in her bedroom and we're discussing her brother?"
"I-oh-I mean, are we supposed to-if you'd prefer to-well," Ume choked on a ball of fabric and turned dark red. She spit the fabric out and wheezed rapidly. "I'm not sure I'm comfortable with-I barely-we probably shouldn't, there's children-I-"
"Calm down!" Junichi said, alarmed. "Do you think I'm the kind of guy that has sex with a girl on the first date? And in her family home? I'm not a sleaze, Ume. Are you choking again? Should I get Nagisa-sama?"
"No, it's okay, I swear, I just thought-well, nevermind what I thought. I don't think you're like that, but the way you said it, and this is already so uncomfortable," Ume said, frantically explaining. She tossed the squid to the ground and overturned the bowl of soup, spilling it out across the bed. She dabbed at it, swearing, and hopped off the bed.
"Ow, ow, ow."
"Careful."
Ume happened to glance out the window as she wiped off her pants. The night sky was low and heavy, thick with the pinpricks of stars, and there was a faint lantern glow that made the gardens visible. Something odd was happening, movement and the flare of matches; Ume moved to the window to look closer just as the gardens went up in a massive fireball, flattening the compound on top of the Nagisas.
"Oh, fu-"