A/N: Hello everyone! So this is my first ever fic that I've written completely on my own; I've loved Addek for pretty much forever so I'm happy my mind has finally gotten creative enough to do something about it! haha. If you've ever read the novel "Dream Country" by Luanne Rice, this story is going to be loosely based off of that, as well as the Grey's Anatomy plotline (starting from about when Derek left New York for Seattle after the whole Addison/Mark fiasco, with some flashbacks here and there). If you haven't read that book though, I highly recommend it...I'm a complete sap when it comes to romance novels. Anyway, I hope you enjoy my story! Cheers!

*By the way, I will most likely be switching POVs every so often, but I would like to keep it in first person throughout the entire story. Also, I'm rating it T right now; some chapters in the future might be somewhat more M, but I'll let you know ahead of time if that happens :)*

I don't own anything, except for Lauren Maureen Montgomery Shepherd, she is all mine :)

Chapter 1

Lauren's POV

I remember that night like it was yesterday, the night where suddenly, everything changed again. The life that my family had created for themselves was suddenly shattered into a million pieces, leaving me wondering if there would ever be anything left to put back together. My name is Lauren Maureen Montgomery Shepherd, Laurie for short, and this is my life. I am 16 years old and a native of New York City – a place where, despite all the horrors that went on over the years, I could still look out at all of the city lights and pretend everything was magical. Now I'm not saying I haven't had my share of trouble that would disappoint my parents, I'm just saying that when things are already going south between them, I'm smart enough to keep my mouth shut.

It had been over a month since that night, when Dad left, without a word of where he was going. I remember because I had spent about six hours sitting in his office at the hospital that evening after school and soccer practice, waiting for him to come out of some big surgery – something about a tumor the size of a softball, and another thing about how he was the "only one who could do it." Whatever, both Mom and I were used to lines like that by then. When we finally left the hospital, it was dark, pouring rain, and nearing midnight. I wondered if Mom would still be up waiting for us or if she had just given up on Dad coming home at a normal time and went to bed early, like most nights lately.

When we pulled into the driveway and then entered the house, right away we could both sense that something wasn't right. Of course the brownstone would be quiet because again, it was nearing midnight, but this time it was almost too quiet, like the kind of silence no one wants to break because God knows what would happen if they did. It's dark in the foyer and all throughout downstairs which is weird, because even if Mom had gone to bed early, she would have at least thought to leave a light on for us. Dad immediately looks for the switch and flips it on; right away we both see a leather jacket hung up on the post at the bottom of the stairs – a jacket that doesn't belong to Dad. He tells me to stay downstairs, and then calls out Mom's name.

"Addison! Addie, are you awake?" He calls up the stairs as he's walking.

I head into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea, suddenly realizing how tired I'm feeling. I figure, whatever Dad wants to sort out with Mom tonight, he won't need my help. After I make my tea, all I want to do is go upstairs, put on my pajamas, and curl up in my bed. But when I turn around, I realize that sleep is the last thing the Shepherd family will be getting tonight. When I turn around I see a man sprinting down the stairs, topless; a man who looked remarkably like my Uncle Mark, my parents' best friend and one of my favorite people in the world.

"What the fuck...?" I wonder aloud to myself. Why was my Uncle Mark upstairs in our house topless? Then I hear Mom from upstairs.

"Derek! Derek! Listen to me! Derek, you can't do this…we have to talk about this…"

I immediately back into the kitchen and kneel down behind a counter. I already know this is something I don't want to see.

"…wait. What are you doing with my clothes?!" I hear Mom again. "It was one time! I know that's what people say I know that's always what gets said. It's just I don't know how it happened I don't know what I was thinking he was here he was just here!"

"YOU SCREW MY BEST FRIEND AND ALL YOU CAN SAY IS, 'HE WAS JUST HERE?!'"

Oh. When I said earlier I didn't want to see what was going on with my parents, I suddenly wished with all my heart and soul that I didn't have to hear them either. I plug my ears, but still that doesn't block out the sound of my family falling apart, again. I don't even know if either one of my parents remember that I'm in the house, awake. I hear the sound of the front door slam, so I unplug my ears a little bit. My first thought is that they both went outside, but then I hear Dad's heavy breathing. I think about going out and seeing if he's alright, but then judgment gets the better of me. Of course he's not alright, Mom just cheated on him with Uncle Mark, and while I don't really like to think about my mother in bed (or my parents' sex lives in general), I can tell that this is something that hurt my Dad on a level that no one can even explain, and that he will need my help to heal again, with or without Mom. I peer around the corner slowly; Mom is standing right outside the door a midst all her clothes, sobbing, begging Dad to let her back in. Eventually he obliged, and all her apologies came spewing out.

"…you have to give me a chance to show you how sorry I am. I'm sorry, okay?"

As I kneel there, I can't even decide how upset I want to be with Mom. On one hand, she broke my father's heart – my father, the love of her life, and someone who has done nothing short of work hard for this family. But on the other hand, I am not naïve enough to not notice the downhill slide that has been my parents' marriage as of late. As their only living child, there's not much to distract me with at home from my parent's lives. I knew that Dad had been taking on exponentially more hours at work over the past year or so; I have no idea why, but I could see the hurt in Mom's eyes every time he didn't make it home for a special dinner she cooked, or to one of my soccer games, or most recently to a banquet where Mom was given a prestigious award for an experimental surgery she performed successfully. I mean, even I managed to show up for that, in dress, heels, curled hair and all. I was caught between a rock and a hard place; I didn't want to lose either one of my parents. I had always been closer to Dad, probably because I'm a bit of a tomboy, but if asked to choose between him and Mom, I don't know if I could do it.

I hear Dad say, "I'm gonna go. You stay. I'll get my clothes in the morning."

"No no no no, we can survive this, Derek we can survive this," Mom stutters, "we're…we're Addison and Derek!"

"I can't look at you. I look at you and I feel nauseous. I just…we're not Derek and Addison anymore."

"If you go now, we are not going to get through this. We don't have a chance, if you go."

I hear the door slam, and I know, at that moment, my father is gone. I feel the tears start to well up in my eyes, threatening to spill over. I want to believe that I'm in some sort of nightmare that, when I wake up from, I will be able to crawl into bed with my Mom and Dad and have them tell me that it's all okay, that everything's going to be okay. Alas, that's not the case this time. Putting on my brave face, I stand up from behind the counter. My tea forgotten in the kitchen, I make my way out into the foyer. It's there I see Mom, curled up into a ball at the bottom of the stairs. She looks a complete mess, lying there in just a t-shirt, make-up smeared everywhere, shaking slightly. In fact, it might just be the worst I've ever seen her, except for that one time, 10 years ago.

"Mommy?" I whisper, a little nervously.

I startle her; again I don't think she even remembered I was home.

"Laurie," she breathes. I can tell she doesn't even know what to say to me. To ask if I heard what just happened would be stupid, of course I heard. I heard everything. "I'm so sorry, oh baby I am so, so sorry," she starts to ramble.

Not wanting to hear this all over again, I shush her ever so slightly. Lord knows I have made my share of mistakes as of late, and while she doesn't know most of what happened with me, I know that after having made this mistake, she needs someone there to tell her that everything will be alright, and that she can have a second chance. She may not get one with Dad, but she's my Mom, the only one I will ever have, so I have to at least try. I go and sit next to her on the stairs and switch roles, enveloping her in my arms the way she does for me when I am hurt or scared. She immediately starts sobbing (and apologizing profusely) again, and I shush her again.

"Not right now," I say, "let's just get you upstairs and cleaned up. Everything's going to be okay," I say, half trying to convince her, half myself. She immediately starts to tell me that she doesn't want to sleep in "that bed" without Dad, which I almost want to snort at, given what just went down this evening. But I hold my tongue and lead her into the bathroom that's next to my room. I turn the water on for her and then leave her to go sit in my room and think about what the fuck just happened.

My mother just cheated on my father with his best friend. Apparently she regrets it. My father got his heart broken and now he is gone. If he'll be back in the morning I don't even know. I just wish I could talk to him right now, know where he is, what he's thinking. I pull out my phone and dial, but it goes straight to voicemail. I leave a message:

"Dad, it's me, Laurie. Please pick up, please," I start to beg like a small child. "I need to talk to you Dad…are you, are you okay? Where are you? Please, I want to see you. Don't leave forever, please. Just…I guess just call me when you get this. I love you so much Daddy."

I can hear Mom, still a mess, start to cry again in the shower. Pushing the noise to the side, I start to think again. My father is gone, I don't know where he is, and I don't know when or if he is coming back. What I do know, however, is that no matter how far, no matter how difficult the journey may be, I will be with my father again. If he leaves New York without me, I will go to him, no matter the cost, no matter where he is. I can't just let half my family remain broken; we've been through too much already.

Alright, so what do you guys think? Should I continue? I've got chapter 2 written already, which will explain quite a bit, with a lot of background from Lauren and the Shepherd family's lives pre-adultery. haha. Thanks for reading! :)