Let me start off by apologizing in advance, for taking such a long time to update and for the length. This part is much shorter than the other two, I'm not sure why but it is what it is...maybe you can tell that I'm not happy with this piece. I have re-written it a few times...its just a stepping stone to the next part, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless :)
PS: I do not own any of the characters except the daughters...I'm only playing...
It was several days later and Sharon had still yet to talk to Andy; it seemed he had all but disappeared. He hadn't been in the Major Crimes murder room when she had gone seeking him out and when she questioned the squad all she received in response were looks of uncertainty and nervousness.
Sharon leant against Provenza's desk, who seemed especially engrossed in his crossword, while the tense silence continued. Gabriel was all but avoiding her gaze and Sanchez had found whatever was on Tao's computer screen most interesting. Buzz was the only one to hesitantly meet her stern gaze, but just as quickly he released it.
"Gentlemen," she tried again, "I would only like to know where he is…"
When no answer was forth coming of her husband's whereabouts, she turned on her heel and headed straight for a certain Chief's office at the back of the room. She could always count on Brenda Leigh to be straight and forward, blunt if she was being honest, with her.
The blonde looked up as Sharon unceremoniously burst through her office door, her eyebrows pinched in the middle with annoyance. Brenda slowly removed her glasses, quickly trying to gauge what type of a mood the Captain was in today. As she watched the older woman slump gracelessly into the chair in front of her desk she couldn't help but notice a few things. She seemed to be fine but the Chief knew better, even though Sharon wore one of her power suits, evidence of her stress was clearly written across her face. She could see the dark circles under the brunette's dull eyes and her hair was a little less tamed; her lips were drawn thin and pale, as if in pain.
Brenda took a few more minutes to observe her friend as Sharon carefully crossed her legs and removed her own glasses. She gave no hint for the intrusion, remaining silent, as she looked straight back at the blonde. The younger woman decided to dive in headfirst and straightened her shoulders inhaling softly.
"What do you need, Sharon?"
The woman in question narrowed her eyes slightly, bringing Brenda fully into her crosshairs; the Chief tried to hold back the nervous flinch, but failed miserably.
"Well," Sharon began sickly sweet, "I was just wondering if you had seen my husband in the last few days?"
The Chief cleared her throat nervously, "Well…uh…that is…"
"Brenda," Sharon began, "all I want to know is if he's ok."
Brenda had heard what happened from her Lieutenant, and from what she had gathered through body language and mannerisms it hadn't been pretty. She could understand Andy's feeling of betrayal and hurt; maybe even empathize with it on some level. She could also reconcile the utter dread that gripped his heart as his wife had uttered those words; she guessed it felt as if the world were crumbling beneath his feet, everything he loved could have been snatched away. She could only imagine how his desperation and sadness had flipped to vicious anger, hurling hurtful words at his wife as a way to protect himself.
But just as she could imagine Andy's side of the turmoil she could also rationalize Sharon's feeling of need and want, how neglected and out of touch their relationship as husband and wife had felt to the brunette. Having had her marriage strained many times by her profession, Brenda knew how desperate and lost Sharon had probably felt at times, how much she wanted to fix what her marriage had become. She had wanted to work past her feelings and fix what was wrong in their life, becoming a stronger couple for it. Unfortunately being honest had only seemed to make it worse, if her friends' appearances had anything to say.
She had indeed seen Andy four days ago when he had requested a week of personal leave and when she questioned if everything was all right he had broken like the proverbial straw to the camel's back.
Four days ago….
"I really don't want to talk about it Chief," he had insisted heatedly.
Brenda took in the pale cheeks and pinched look her Lieutenant had worn and knew it was something serious; she pressed just a little harder.
"Well," she drawled, "I cant go approvin' leave if I don't have a reason, what would Taylor say?"
Andy sighed defeated and looked down at his hands folded neatly in his lap. Brenda mentally patted her self on the back…that was until he looked at the blonde straight in the eyes, tears barely held in check. She immediately got up from her chair, trailing quickly around the edge of her desk, lightly leaning on the front facing her lieutenant. Laying a gentle hand on his forearm, she cocked her head to the side encouraging him to continue.
He began hesitantly, "Well Sharon and I had a session yesterday…"
Brenda nodded remembering his need to leave early, but continued to lightly rub his arm in comfort.
He tried to swallow the lump in his throat unsuccessfully as his whole body began to tremble. He looked steadily at Brenda, losing the fight with his tears.
"We decided to air everything out, to explain everything. Of course I told her about the few times the bottle had called to me," Brenda shook her head remembering certain cases in vivid detail and the toll they took on each and everyone member of her team.
"When it was her turn, she proceeded to explain how she had lunch with an old friend from law school a few weeks ago…" he trailed off.
The blonde could feel herself visibly pale, she knew what was coming next before the words even left the man's mouth.
"She had a 'fleeting' moment of uncertainty…a want to cheat on me…with this friend."
Brenda drew her hand away from Andy gently, crossing her arms over her chest, lips pursing slightly. She let loose a noncommittal hum as he continued on, once the dam was broken he couldn't stop.
"But she didn't, of course!" he reassured his friend, "But I just…I cant reconcile that she thought about it!"
And with that he threw up his hands and sprang from the chair, creating a hole in front of Brenda's desk with all of his angry pacing. Her leg began to twitch restlessly as she looked at her own lap, his words sounding far off and distant.
"I've never so much as looked at another woman since we've been married…I mean I know things have been rough lately but why didn't she just talk to me?" he wondered aloud.
His fists clenched uncontrollably at his sides, trying hard to control his anger and frustration. He wasn't the hotheaded rookie he once was; violence would solve nothing and would only leave him feeling drained. Besides Brenda wasn't really the person he was upset with, she was an innocent bystander in all of this.
The Chief looked up sharply, brown eyes meeting brown.
He sighed dejectedly, bringing his hand up to scrub his face, "Why didn't she just talk to me?"
Present…
The Blonde tried to begin warily, "Look Sharon…"
"I swear to God Brenda," Sharon interrupted, "if you tell me that he requested for you not to tell me I'll…I'll…"
And with that she began to cry…the infallible and super human Sharon Raydor began to not only cry but sob right there in Brenda's office. It as a very rare sight indeed, the blonde could count on one hand the times she had seen the Captain cry, both happy and sad tears. She had learned over the years that the other woman valued her privacy; she had built her career on keeping her emotions in check.
Finally shaking the shock from her system, Brenda walked briskly around the edge of her desk to come to rest in front of the obviously distressed woman. Sharon's shoulders shook with the force of her sobs as the blonde rubbed comforting circles between her shoulder blades.
The more Brenda rubbed, the softer the other woman's sobs seemed to become and she was glad to be of some help in this time of crisis. She sat back on her haunches as Sharon slowly lifted her head, gently wiping the smeared make up from under her eyes. She took a fortifying breath and gave the blonde a watery smile in thanks that didn't quite reach her eyes.
"I don't need to know where he is," she began, "I just need to know that he is safe."
Tears began to kiss her cheeks again, but she left them unchecked, staring intently at the younger woman. The sincerity in her voice and sheer sadness in her mossy eyes compelled the Chief to be honest, even if it was opposite of what Andy had requested. Clearly Sharon was sorry for sorrow she had caused, and if Brenda was honest with her self, she truly missed her husband.
"He's upset Sharon and requested a week of leave to think things over," Brenda sighed deeply, "he just needs time.
As the blonde looked at her friend, she pleaded for her to understand and not to question anymore for those were answers to questions that Brenda couldn't give. After a moment Sharon seemed to realize what she was implying and gave a noncommittal hum in response followed by a slight nod of her head.
She sniffled slightly, "Thank you for being honest."
Brenda cocked her head to the side inspecting her friend, watching the broken woman in front of her valiantly try to pull her self together. She stood wincing at the slight stretch in her calf muscles reminding her exactly how long she had sat crouched in front of Sharon.
"How are the girls?" she asked trying to steer towards a new subject.
Sharon seemed to think about the question, giving Brenda time to shift into the other visitors' chair. She spoke softly and stared intently at her hands that were gripping the hem of her skirt.
"Chloe seems to accept what I've told her and the circumstances, but she is still so heart broken," Sharon lifted her chin to come face to face with the Chief.
"Chloe says she doesn't blame me, but on some subconscious level I know she does… I asked him to leave, it's my fault."
The older woman paused to inhale a shuddering breath, "She doesn't want to make me feel bad but I can see the questions in he eyes that she doesn't ask."
Sharon fleetingly considered the behavior of her youngest child and the resentment that now seemed to radiate from her. The disdain that was reserved for her mother, pinning her with shame and hate.
"Avery…well to be quite honest I don't think I've had a single civil word with her since Andy left," shrugging her shoulders tiredly.
Brenda briefly touched Sharon's arm encouraging her to continue, there seemed to be more that she wanted to say. She let the older woman gather her thoughts, watching as her lips twitched with pent up emotion.
"I just don't know what to do Brenda," she whispered in anguish, "they are both hurting so badly and I, their mother, have no idea how to fix it!"
She threw her head back and gazed unseeingly at the ceiling, trying to find the strength to continue. All the while her hands slowly slid back forth across her thighs, a nervous habit from her youth.
"I know Chloe cries because she does so in front of me and then I get to comfort her, stroke her hair just like when she was little…kiss away the tears.'
Sharon paused, "But poor Avery…my baby, she tries to put up such a tough front like none of this bothers her, but Brenda I know she cries."
Just like her mother, Brenda thought solemnly.
The blonde uncrossed and crossed her legs again hesitantly, "Everyone deals with pain differently Sharon…"
"I hear her, Brenda," she whispers dejectedly, "I hear her late at night when she thinks no one else is awake…she doesn't know that I've had a hard time sleeping as well."
She can't help the tears that fall next and for the first time since Brenda had mentioned the girls Sharon lets her eyes find Brenda's again, trying to draw strength from the warmth reflected there.
"She cries so hard, sobs, that I can only imagine, shake her body so hard," the older woman wipes her eyes fiercely, annoyed by her tears.
"But I can't comfort her because she blames me for what happened and rightly so, she can't even look at me."
Sharon once again buried her head in her hands, losing the final battle with her tears and emotions. Everything seemed so bleak and hopeless; not only did she possibly ruin her marriage and the relationship with her kids, but now when she was ready and willing to fix what had gone wrong, she had no idea where to start. Andy had left and she had no way of finding him, she could feel the fear and sadness curl in her stomach.
The Chief coughed gently, trying to swallow the lump that has now formed in her own throat. It wasn't a matter of whether these two people loved each other…it was the matter of them finding a way back to one another and understanding what had went wrong. The love was obvious enough for anyone to see, a stranger could see it in the looks the couple shared or how in tuned their mannerisms had become. It saddened Brenda to think that something so pure and special could be tainted by what seemed like such a reversible effect.
Brenda leant over the armrest of her chair and slid her arms around Sharon's middle, hugging her tightly. She felt the older woman grip her arms desperately, trying to anchor her self to reality and finding some semblance of order, maybe even a way to ease her pain.
"It's ok Sharon," the blonde cooed quietly, rocking back and forth as her own eyes filled with tears.
"All he needs is time."
Don't worry guys, the fourth and final part of this series is already in the works and we will reach a conclusion you all seem so anxious for. Although i can't promise it will be the one you are all hoping for, it will be interesting to say the least...