A/N: A request for Kandakicksass.
Sex Ed, Espada Style
Chapter 1
Grimmjow sat in Szayel's lab flipping through some medical book upside-down. "Oi, Szayel… what does this thing do?"
The Octava, who was mixing some chemicals, looked up from his work. "Honestly, Grimmjow. First of all, the book is upside-down, and second of all, that's an anatomy book. Right now you're looking at the inside of a woman's uterus."
"What's a "uterus"?" Grimmjow asked, shifting in his chair.
"It's what allows women to have children; and in crude terms, where your dick goes when you fuck them."
Grimmjow raised an eyebrow. "Looks pretty small for that kind of thing…"
"I assure you, it fits."
"And how would you know that? You're famous for taking it up the ass."
Szayel reddened. "And you're not famous for giving it? Just because I'm known for that doesn't mean I don't know how things work."
"Then why don't the rest of us know about it?"
"That a question you should be asking Aizen-sama, not me…"
xxx
Gin grinned as he watched the view from the cameras in the control room. This was a question for Aizen-sama indeed…
The fox-faced Shinigami got up and went through the door into Aizen's throne room, noticing the signature poker face didn't fall even when he came into the room.
"Aizen-sama… I was watchin' Szayel an' Grimmjow talk, an' they were talkin' 'bout how only Szayel knows anatomy stuff… And I was gettin' ta thinkin' that maybe we should have Szayel teach a mandatory sex-ed class for the arrancar."
Sousuke raised a perfect eyebrow. "A sexual education class for the arrancar? Don't you think they already know how that works? Half of them are doing each other."
"Not all of 'em know the mechanics of it." Gin said, flashing his signature grin. "It would be a chance to embarrass 'em. Maybe stop doing it in the halls."
Aizen tried not to make a face at that last comment. There had been one too many incidents where the Espada were fucking other Espada or arrancar into the wall. And that was not something that should be happening where he could see it. "And you think Szayel would do this?"
"Maybe, maybe not. You have the power ta force him."
Aizen smirked. "You're right Gin… if I made it an order, he wouldn't be able to refuse, and then all the Espada would have to attend. Either you or I would supervise to make sure they remained on task…"
Gin nodded in agreement.
"We'll make them write essays as well. That way they have to pay attention. Go tell Szayel about this. Have him see me so we can work out a day to have them."
The fox-faced Shinigami laughed, nodding in assent and turning to leave. Grimmjow and Nnoitra were not going to like this… not at all. He happened to think that that was the best part.
A/N: … I'm 99.9% sure I've gotten Gin's accent wrong… sorry this is late, sorry they're OOC, and sorry this is so short :( I really do hate Kubo for this Shinigami-less arc… *lesigh*
However… I will have an update for this soon *crosses fingers* It's just late and this seemed like a good place to end the first chapter…