For me the end of Allegiant was a huge let down… here is how I think the ending should have went, these paragraphs are not 100% my own, the whole this is a retooling of Veronica Roth's writing, it contains passages and paragraphs of hers and original paragraphs and passages of mine intermingled. I am not claiming any of her work as my own. This is merely my interpretation of her words in the final few chapters of Allegiant.
I hope you enjoy.
TRIS
Red. Blood is a strange color. Dark.
From the corner of my eye, I see David slumped over in his chair, his face is pale and the light gone from his eyes.
My mother walks out from behind him.
She's dressed in the same clothes she always wears, Abnegation gray. She's frozen in time. Her dull blond hair is tied back in a knot, a few loose strands frame her face in gold.
I know she can't be alive, I don't know if I'm seeing her now because I'm delirious from the blood loss or if the death serum has addled my thoughts or if she is here in some other way. She kneels next to me and touches a cool hand to my cheek.
"Hello, Beatrice," she says, and she smiles.
"Am I done yet?" I'm not sure if I actually say it or if I just think it, but she hears me.
"No," she says, her eyes bright with tears. "My dear child, you've done so well, but there's one more thing you must do."
I smile and close my eyes, my mother's hand touches my face. A tear slides down my cheek and everything fates to black.
TOBIAS
Evelyn brushes the tears from her eyes with her thumbs. I finish telling her all that my father had done to us. We stand together by the windows, shoulder to shoulder, watching the snow swirl past. Some of the flakes gather on the windowsill outside, piling at the corners. The memory serum worked and as I tell her of the uprising and of the new world outside she takes it all in, her eyes glassy.
"I did all those things," she says, her eyes full of sadness, "Oh Tobias; I've become a horrible person. What happened to me?"
"It was a hard life with harder choices, not all of them right, but you made the right one today." She had decided there will be a peace treaty between the Factionless and the Allegiant. She nods her head in agreement as if she remembers. I stare out at the world, dusted in white, everything is fresh and clean, the world outside has begun again, and it will be better this time.
Peter sits with his back to the wall in the hallway. He looks up at me. I lean over him, his dark hair stuck to his forehead from the melted snow.
"Did you reset her?" he says.
"Yes."
"I didn't think you would have the nerve."
"It's not about nerve. You know what? Whatever." I shake my head and hold up the vial. "Are you still set on this?"
He nods.
I have him sit on one of the couches, and I ask him what he wants me to tell him about himself, after his memories disappear like smoke in the wind. He just shakes his head.
"Nothing, I don't want to remember anything." Peter takes the vial with a shaking hand and twists off the cap. The liquid trembles inside it, almost spilling over the lip. He holds it under his nose smelling it.
"How much should I drink?" he says, and I think I hear his teeth chattering.
"I don't think it makes a difference," I say.
"Okay. Well . . . here goes." He lifts the vial up to the light, toasting me.
When he touches it to his mouth.
"Be brave."
He nods, and swallows. I watch Peter disappear down the rabbit hole forever.
He slumps over, splayed out on the couch, groggy in a dazed. Peter is gone, but I will always know him as the initiate, who shoved a butter knife into Edward's eye, the boy who tried to kill my girlfriend, and all the other things he has done. I walk away, leaving him alone to find himself.
Evelyn and I walk together outside. The snow has stopped falling. There's enough collected on the ground that the souls of my shoes squeak against pavement. We pause at the mammoth bean sculpture, and then descend down a set of stairs into Millennium Park.
Evelyn wraps her hand around my elbow to keep her balance, and we exchange a nervous look. I wonder how many of her new memories have taken hold.
Marcus and Johanna are standing at the bottom of the staircase. Marcus has a gun and he immediately has it trained on Evelyn. I point mine at Marcus, just to be safe.
"Tobias!" Johanna shouts, her coat of Amity red, dusted with snowflakes. "What are you doing here?"
"Trying to keep you all from killing each other." My eyes train to the bulge in her coat pocket, I instantly recognize the contours of a weapon. Her eyes lock on mine as she turns slightly away from Marcus. She draws a finger to her lips in a silent shhh, as she nods her head so slowly back and forth that only I notice.
"We're not here to chat," Marcus says, looking at Evelyn. "You said you wanted to talk about a treaty."
"Yes," Evelyn says. "I have some terms for us both to agree to. I think you will find them fair. She looks at me and I nod in agreement. As soon as we are all in agreement, I will step down, and surrender whatever weapons I have that my people are not using for personal protection. I will also agree to leave the city and never return."
Marcus laughs in a mocking disbelief.
"Let her finish," Johanna says curtly, drawing her fingers into her sleeves.
"In return," Evelyn continues, "You will not attack or try to seize control of the city. You will allow those people who wish to leave and seek a new life elsewhere to do so. You will allow those who choose to stay to vote on new leaders and a new social system. And most importantly," She takes a long pause. You—Marcus, will not be eligible to lead them."
"No deal," Marcus bawks. "I am the leader of these people."
"Marcus." Johanna grips his shoulder.
He ignores her, pushing her hand away. "You don't get to decide whether I lead them, because you have always held a grudge against me, Evelyn!"
"Excuse me?" Johanna says loudly, all placation aside.
"Marcus, what she is offering is too good to be true—we get everything we have strived for, and an end to the violence! How can you possibly say no?"
"Because I am the rightful leader of these people!" Marcus seethes, his eyes narrowing at Johanna. "I am the leader of the Allegiant! I—"
"No… you are not," Johanna says, cold as steel in the snow. She slides the gun from her pocket touching it to Marcus's temple. "I am the leader of the Allegiant, now drop your weapon, and I will agree to the peace treaty. She gives him an icy stare, "Sometimes you have to take difficult measures to ensure peace, that's what I set out to achieve, and now it is what I will get."
Marcus's passive mask is gone; in its place is anger and shock.
"You'll never do it—Amity are weak and frail, you're nothing!" Marcus shifts his gun from Evelyn to Johanna, but before he gets half way a shot rings out. Marcus's body falls to the ground.
"I agree to your terms." Johanna says, and she holds out her hand over Marcus's limp body.
Evelyn removes her glove fingertip by fingertip, reaches out, and shakes her hand.
"In the morning we will gather everyone together and tell them the new plan," Johanna says. "I trust you can guarantee a safe gathering?"
"I'll do my best," Evelyn says.
TRIS
I open my eyes, my head thumps, I'm groggy, and my muscles ache. I had a horrible night's sleep. I dress and walk down the hall, trying to shake the cloudiness from my head.
"Happy Choosing Day!" My mother's voice rings out from the bathroom, "come in, come in…"
I sit down on the stool and my mother stands behind me with the scissors and a pair of clippers, trimming my hair. As the clipper buzzes up the back of my neck it all feels oddly familiar, but strangely different. As the hair falls to the floor, I realize my hair is much shorter, too short for the Abnegation.
"There," she says, sweeping the hair one to a pile, "so today is the day," she says.
"Yes," I reply.
"Are you nervous?"
"No."
"Right." She smiles. "Let's go eat breakfast."
"Thank you for… for everything."
She nods, and we head to the kitchen. My father sits at the table with three plates of pancakes and bacon, Abnegation usually eat plan oatmeal for breakfast, but today is an exception, a celebration. I pour the maple syrup over them and the back of my mind tingles, something is missing.
After breakfast my mother, father, and I set off to the Choosing Ceremony. The streets are empty as I walk along quietly beside them.
We walk into the Hub, the tapping of our feet is the only sound. Past the bank of elevators we ascend the cement staircase, falling into pace with on and other.
"Do you remember when I taught you how to knit," my mother says to me as we climb the steps to the twentieth floor. "Haste will not help you today. Remember, you are my daughter and I will love you no matter what choice you make"
My father smiles at me, "We love you Beatrice and you will make the right choice."
The three of us walk in the room; it is stark and bright arranged in five concentric circles. Rows of chairs line four of the sections, all empty no one else has arrived. My heart pounds, something's wrong; this is not how the Choosing Ceremony is supposed to happen.
A man in long white robes enters the room and my mother and father take their places beside him. Several others enter the room all in white. I see their faces, and a flood of names fills my mind, Tori, Edward, Al, Uriah, Lynn.
In the last circle are two glass bowls. Each one contains a substance one white dove feathers and the other rich earth.
"Welcome Beatrice Prior," the man in white says. "Welcome to your Choosing Ceremony. You stand on the precipice of a monumental decision, and it is now up to you to decide where you will go."
I walk to the center of the room, all their eyes on me as I stare at the bowls. I take one final glance at my mother her eyes light up.
"Beatrice," her voice is a whisper. "Whatever you choose, be strong, don't cry."
What will I choose, what does it all mean?
The man offers me my knife. Beside him, my parents are smiling with tears in their eyes. I look into his eyes they are filled with light and hope and peace. He nods slowly, graciously, and I turn toward the glass bowls. I hold the knife in my right hand as I pierce the palm of my left, blood bubbles from the center of my hand. I close my eyes and thrust my arm out.
TOBIAS
"Where's Tris?"
"I'm sorry, Tobias."
"Sorry about what, tell me what happened!"
"Tris went into the Weapons Lab instead of Caleb," Cara says. "She survived the death serum, and set off the memory serum, but she . . . she was shot… the death serum and the bullet wounds… it was just too much for her… she's in a coma."
Of course Tris would go into the Weapons Lab instead of Caleb, of course she would.
I run down the hallway to hospital wing. My sneakers squeal as I stop in front of her door. Through the window I see Caleb sitting beside Tris, hold her handing, talking to her. As if he has the right. His words are muffled through the closed door. I walk in not bothering to knock.
"Hi," he says, glancing at the floor. "I'm so sorry Tobias; I never met for this to happen. They don't think there is anything else they can do; they don't think she is going to wake up."
I breakdown; it's Uriah all over again, only this time it's the only person in the world that matters more than my own life.
"GET OUT!" I scream, Caleb shudders, stands, and walks out the door.
I crawl into bed with her and nestle my head in her hair and cry, I cry until my stomach hurts, until my eyes are dry and bloodshot. And between the sobs I talk to her.
"God Tris, you have to wake up, I need you here with me. I never told you this but I have loved from the moment you hit that net. I grabbed your hand so small, and warm, and you stood there looking up at me. Short and thin and plain, and in all ways unremarkable—except for the fact that you had jumped first. The little blonde Stiff. Full of fire; brave and fearless. You captured my heart. In you I saw everything I had always wanted to be, because even I didn't jump first. I wasn't that brave, or strong, or fearless. In that very moment I saw you for who you were remarkable, and breathtaking, and beautiful."
#
In the days that follow, it's movement, not stillness that helps to keep the thought of her never coming back at bay. I walk the compound halls instead of sleeping. When I do sleep I crawl into bed next to her limp body and drift off to the sounds of the ventilator. I watch everyone else recover from the memory serum that altered them permanently as if from a great distance.
"Tobias?"
I shudder at the sound of my name coming from his mouth, it's Caleb. I turn away from the voice, searching for an escape route.
"Wait, please." His voice is pained. "It's time; they're going to unhook her today."
I don't want to look at him, to measure how much, or how little, he is going to grieve for her. And I don't want to think about how she'll die for such a miserable coward, about how he wasn't worth her life.
I go to see her one last time. Christina and I walk shoulder to shoulder; we walk in Cara's footsteps. I don't remember the journey from the entrance of the hospital wing to her room, really, a blur of images and whatever muffled sounds I can make out through the barrier that has gone up inside my head.
She lies there, and for a moment I think she's just sleeping. When I touch her, she will wake up. I'll smile at her and she'll press a kiss to my mouth. I brush my fingers against her cheek. She's warm, and soft, and Tris… unmoving.
Christina sniffles and sobs. I squeeze Tris's hand, praying that if I do it hard enough, I will bring her back to me.
The Doctor, Dr. McNeil, who has been caring for her enters the room. "Please take your time and say your goodbyes," He tells us, taking her chart and stepping outside the door.
I glare at Caleb, he seems to want me to go.
"I think you should leave." I say, my voice stern as tears burn the backs of my eyes.
"She's my sister Four and I'm staying with her."
"You already got to deliver her to her death once, now get out! She may have forgiven you, but I never will."
There is a look in his eyes, not fear, but knowing, and he kisses her cheek, tears run like rivers down his cheeks. He tells her that he loves her and that she'll be with their parents now.
"Thank you," he whispers in her ear, then walks out closing the door.
Dr. McNeil sits down beside me. "Are you ready?"
"How long will it take?"
"I can't be sure, but not long after I turn off the ventilator. She'll just slip away. The nurse gave her Peace Serum so she shouldn't feel any pain."
I stand silent as the doctor disconnects all the I.V.'s and wires, turns off all the machines until it is just the sound of the ventilator. He takes a measured breath, "it's time."
"Can you take the tube out, so I can kiss her goodbye?"
"Of course," he nods. Dr. McNeil flips the switch, pulls the tube from her throat, and leaves the room.
Her chest rises and falls so slowly now. It's not enough for me to sit beside her, I climb into bed with her and pull her into my lap, stroking her hair. The tears fall so fast that they soak my face. All I can say over and over is "I love you."
TRIS
The blood falls.
TOBIAS
My body writhes and I sob uncontrollably, and then she gasps. This is it, and her eyes flutter and open. She looks up dazed.
Her voice is small, quiet and crackling. A delirious, sleep laden giggle escapes her lips… "God, Four who died?"
Peace serum. I'm crying tears of joy, still shaking uncontrollably holding her so tight. And she's in and out if consciousness giggling and her eyes tear and roll, but she's here, with me alive—we've made it.
1 Year Later
TOBIAS
They are silver and simple, no engravings. I didn't choose them, Tris did.
As we stand in the lobby of the Hub, I can't believe that we actually reached this day.
"Are you ready for this?"
"Ready," she says, grasping the train of her gown so it doesn't dust the floor, "I've been waiting my whole life for this moment."
We walk down to the hallway to a small room, the group that has already gathered it's small and simple but it's all we need.
My mother stands with Caleb, Christina, and Zeke. Shauna sits nearby in her new wheelchair, this one doesn't have handles on the back, and it's much sleeker so she can maneuver it more easily.
Matthew stands strumming his fingers on the wooden pulpit.
"Hi," I say, as I enter the room.
Christina smiles at me, and Zeke claps me on the shoulder.
"This looks like a Candor ceremony what's with the black and white." Christina smirks.
"It's a tradition from the outside. We thought it might be nice." I say, "but I guess is it kind of Candor, too late to change now."
Tris stands in the threshold and slowly walks in, and there in front our closest friends, we profess our love for each other.
After the short ceremony the man at the pulpit pronounces us husband and wife, "You may now kiss the bride."
The room fills with whooping and hollering that is so ingrained in our Dauntless nature that we all can't help but smile.
"I love you Mrs. Eaton."
TRIS
"I love you too, Mr. Eaton," I say, standing on tip toes to grab his collar. I crush my lips into his every ounce of me.
#
We exit through the lobby and walk to the train depot. There's no running anymore and which is great news because the wedding dress and spike heels Christina picked out for me aren't exactly train hopping gear. We get on the train and as it leaves the station I stretch my arm out holding the handles on either side of the doorway. Stray tendrils and the train of my dress blow wildly in the wind. I lean out of the car as it turns, almost dangling over the street two stories below me. The thrill dances in my stomach, the fear-thrill that only the true Dauntless love. In that moment I feel Tobias's arms wrap around my waist and he rests his head on my shoulder
"Hey," Christina says, standing beside the two of us looking at Tobias. "You think you can actually go through with this?"
"We'll see," he says.
I turn, eying him over my shoulder. "You are defiantly going through with it—you promised!"
The train comes to a stop. Tobias hops onto the platform, and takes my hand to help me off the train. At the top of the stairs Shauna gets out of the chair and works her way down the steps with her braces, one step at a time.
We walk the streets to the zip line.
Ahead of us is the Hancock building. I haven't been this close in a long time.
We enter the lobby, with its gleaming, polished floors and its walls tagged with bright Dauntless graffiti. All that remains of the building's residents, as a kind of relic. This is a Dauntless place, because they are the ones who embraced it, for its height and—a part of me also suspects, for its loneliness. The Dauntless liked to fill empty spaces with their noise. It's something I liked about them. Zeke jabs the elevator button with his index finger. We pile in, and Cara presses number 99.
TOBIAS
I close my eyes as the elevator surges upward, I feel Tris's arms wrap around my waist from behind, and her head resting on between my shoulders blades. I can almost see the space opening up beneath my feet, a shaft of darkness, and only a foot of solid ground between me and plummeting. The elevator shudders to a stop. Tris stands in front of me kissing me full and long, lingering on the lips. I press my palm to the wall to steady myself as the doors open.
She touches my shoulder. "Don't worry, I've done this before, it's only a little scary the first time." A wide wild smile blooms across her face. I want to take her in my arms and run for the door. Head off to a more private place. "How come we are always around people?" I snicker.
She looks at me with so much passion in her eyes and says," Tonight it'll be just you and I."
I nod, and wink at her as the air rushes through the gap in the ceiling, and above me is the sky, bright blue. We shuffle in with the others toward the ladder. I grab the ladder with my fingertips and focus on one rung at a time. Above me, Shauna maneuvers awkwardly up the ladder, using mostly the strength of her arms. Below me Tris is smiling, she's the last one to the roof.
I stare at the buildings along the marsh front, and my chest tightens, squeezes, like it's about to collapse into itself. We all stand with Zeke in silence as we take a small moment of to remember Uriah.
Then without warning Zeke barrels across the roof to the zip line and attaches one of the man-sized slings to the steel cable. He locks it so it won't slide down, and looks at the group of us expectantly.
"Christina," he says. "It's all you."
Christina stands near the sling, tapping her chin with a finger.
"What do you think? Face-up or backward?"
"Backward," Matthew says. "I wanted to go face-up so I don't wet my pants, and I don't want you copying me."
"Going face-up will only make that more likely to happen, you know,"
"So go ahead and do it so I can start calling you Wetpants." Christina says.
Christina gets in the sling feet-first, belly down, so she'll watch the building get smaller as she travels. I shudder, gripping Tris's hand tightly.
I can't watch. I lock eyes with Tris as Christina travels farther and farther away. I can hear her cries of joy, like bird-calls, on the wind.
"Your turn, Four," says Zeke.
I shake my head.
TRIS
"Come on, better to get it over with, right?"
"No," He says. "You go first. Please, I want to be able to see my beautiful wife at the bottom."
"I can't believe I just married Four, the Dauntless legend, and the biggest pansycake I know!"
"Hey," he smiles, shaking his head. "I just don't think I can do it," he says, and though his voice is steady, his body shakes all over.
I pull him in close twisting the collar of his shirt tight in my hands, so close that our noses touch, and I kiss him long and passionately. Holding him there until we are both weak in the knees and breathless.
I look at him with a wily eye, "I have an idea… we'll go together."
TOBIAS
"Hey." Zeke puts his hands on my shoulders. "This isn't about you, remember? You made this one a promise," he says pointing to Tris.
I look over at her she's glowing. She sits on the edge of the Hancock Building looking out into the great expanse, no fear, just the way she looked the night we climbed the Ferris Wheel.
"How should I get in?"
"Feet first," she says. "That way we can see each other."
I climb into the sling, my hands shaking so much I can barely grip the sides. Zeke tightens the straps across my back and legs, letting my arms free to wave in the wind. I stare down Lake Shore Drive, swallowing bile, and start to slide just a bit so Zeke can attach Tris's sling.
I take a deep breath as Tris pushes off the ledge, she's gorgeous as ever, in all her wild abandon. She eases herself toward me so we are looking each other in the eyes. Zeke finishes up strapping her in. She clasps her fingers with mine.
He gives us one last look and says, "See you two love birds at the bottom," With the flick of his wrist he releases the tether, sending us out, over Lake Shore Drive, over the city. I don't hear anything from Tris, not even a gasp. I want to go back, but it's too late. She senses my fear and locks her eyes on mine and we are free falling together. I'm screaming so loud, I want to cover my ears, but instead I grip her hands even tighter, fixated on Tris's face. She's mouthing the words, "You are brave, you are strong, and you are mine." I feel all the emotions I've harbored inside me this past year bubble up from my chest, up throat, and out of me in one long freeing scream.
The wind stings my eyes but I force them to stay open, and I see Tris. She's beautiful, her hair flailing wildly in the wind, laughing, and smiling at me. She's all mine. Her dress swirls, flapping like the wings of a bird in flight.
I realize, then, that we've almost stopped moving, and as we come to a slow stop our cheeks brush one and other and I kiss her, forgetting I'm hanging in the air.
The ground is only a few feet below us, close enough to jump down. The others have gathered there in a circle, their arms clasped to form a net of bone and muscle to catch me in. I press my face to the sling and laugh.
I then I look at Tris.
"You go first," she says.
I twist my arms behind my back to undo the straps holding me in and drop into my friends' arms like a stone. They catch me, their bones pinching at my back and legs, and lower me to the ground.
Tris drops next, with the grace of a dove, my angel sent back from heaven.
Christina blinks tears from her eyes and says, "Oh! Zeke's on his way."
Zeke is hurtling toward us in a black sling. At first it looks like a dot, then a blob, and then a person swathed in black. He crows with joy as he eases to a stop, and I reach across to grab Amar's forearm. Tris smiles at me, as we lock arms, and there is some sadness in her smile, no doubt she's remembering her first zip line with Uriah.
Zeke's shoulder hits our arms, hard, and he smiles wildly as he lets us cradle him like a child.
"That was nice. Want to go again, Four?" he says.
I don't hesitate before answering.
"Absolutely not."
TRIS
We walk back to the train in a loose cluster. Shauna walks slowly with her braces, Zeke pushes the empty wheelchair while exchanging small talk with Amar.
Matthew, Cara, and Caleb walk together, talking about something that has them all excited, kindred spirits that they are. Christina sidles up next to us and puts a hand on my shoulder.
"Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Eaton!" she says, and she hands us a small chocolate cake.