It was a moderately warm day in Hell, but I still had to suppress a shudder when he walked in. I suppose one shouldn't expect too much when one is at the seediest bar in the underworld, but I never expected to see someone like him there.

Ivan Braginski is more devil than vampire. Most of the underworldlings suspect that he may in fact be Satan. He has the cruelty for it, certainly, but he is no Hades. A true Beelzebub would work to punish the sinners he has collected. Ivan works with the sinners. If they have problems, they come to him, and he helps them... for a price. And if you can't pay up, he hurts you. Bad.

Even though I'm pretty high up on the food chain, Ivan scares the living daylights out of me! There's just something about his aura... and you'd think I'd be used to people with scary auras by now!

You might be wondering why I was patronizing the crummiest bar in Hell. Well, people don't care much about their surroundings when they're heartbroken, and that was the only place with liquor strong enough to give me a buzz. If I had known Ivan would walk in, then I would have taken my chances with dwarven ale.

"Privet, Tino!" Ivan exclaimed, sitting down next to me. I grimaced. "It has been too long! How have you been, my friend?"

"N-nothing new." I shrugged. Didn't want Ivan seeing any weaknesses...

"Are you sure? Because a little bird was just telling me that today's the fifth anniversary of your boyfriend- no, fiance's death!"

I almost let my jaw drop. Almost.

"And... and where exactly might one find this 'little bird'?" I asked.

"That is for me to know and for you to be obsessing over until the end of time." Ivan replied with a friendly smile. See, the thing about Ivan's smiles is that they're not like normal smiles which make other people smile. Ivan's smiles are basically omens of doom.

"Uh-huh. What exactly do you w-want?" I asked, trying not to look terrified.

"To offer my condolences, of course!" Ivan replied. I seriously doubted that was why he was talking to me. "May I buy you a drink?"

To refuse Ivan was to sign one's own death warrant.

"Uh... sure." I said.

Ivan put a couple gold coins on the counter and the harpy barmaid hopped over to get our drinks.

"A lot has been going on up in the surface world..." Ivan remarked. "Lots of deaths, involving both non-magical and magical people..."

"So...?"

"So you must be worried for your friends, da?" the Russian man asked. "Especially that Icelandic human boy, since he is pretty much defenseless."

"He's got the protection of both Lukas Bondevik and Yao Wang." I said, shrugging and wondering where Ivan was going with this. "I think he'll be fine."

I could almost see the fiery gears shifting in Ivan's head. He was about to change tactics.

"That is quite the ring, da?" he remarked.

I glanced down at the beautiful, sky-blue gem set in the golden band on my finger.

"Mm-hmm." I said, smiling slightly.

"You miss him?"

"Yes..." I said warily. "Of course I do."

Ivan took a sip of his liquor. I hadn't touched mine.

"What if I told you that I could bring him back?" Ivan asked quietly.

"I'd say that there must be some horrible catch." I scoffed. "Have you found some way to make dead people into zombies? Or maybe created your own resurrection stone that only brings back faint ghosts of people?"

"There is no catch, Tino. He will simply be brought back to life as he was; a living, breathing human. Same body, same memories, same soul."

I blinked. Bringing people back to life went against practically every immortal law ever and was rarely successful in the long term, so I was surprised that even Ivan Braginski would attempt something like that.

"You will be able to talk to him like you always have, and he will be able to live a healthy, mortal life... in fact, I might be so kind as to grant immortality upon him." Ivan continued. "There is no catch, Tino. This is a genuine offer with your best interests at hand."

"And how do you expect to accomplish such a task?" I asked.

"I have connections." Ivan said.

"I'm sure the price will be steep..." I remarked.

"Only two minor things." Ivan assured me. "First, I will need that ring. I will use it at a link between his body and his spirit."

"And secondly?"

Ivan's smile grew a fraction of an inch wider.

"I will only do this if you'll marry me."

No one entered my contest.

I guess I'll make some cover art later, then.

*bitterly disappointed in all of you*

*ok not really but still*

*I will do horrible things to your favorite characters*

*I might even kill Gilbird again*

*Or Iceland*