This fanfic may seem early, but I have my purposes… Everything is explained in the fanfic, so just read it. Also, suggestions for truths, dares, and new fanfic dares for moi (AKA what I call letters, seeing as my story takes place-) Wait a minute, 'm going too far already! And this fanfic is for going too far…
Just read the darn thing.
Also, disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who, or any story that you ask the characters for facts and whatnot. Spoilers will be included. So, just go to it!
The Ultimate Q & A answer Fanfic
Guy starts his day as usual- he gets dressed, goes for some target practice, checks out his fortress defenses (more on that later), makes sure he has enough supplies for the next couple days, and all that- but then he does a double back on the last three, making sure he has a good aim for when he has to hunt for the large number of people who will be arriving later that day. Just as Guy walks back down the hallway (this is my avatar image, FYI) he sees the flames on the torch beside him in the stone-brick hallway that leads to the guest rooms flicker and blow in a slight breeze that chilled his already cold pointed elf-ears. Turning around, Guy sees what he has been expecting for the last week finally show up: the TARDIS, all big and blue- the bluest blue you will ever see, just like Junior's eyes are the techiest turquois you will ever see. And, speak of the devil…
The first person to walk out of the TARDIS happens to be Guy's counterpart from another universe, Junior; although the two have met multiple times over the years, static electricity always builds up around them whenever they get close for the first time after they are more than a mile or so apart they are within twenty feet. The TARIS suddenly roars twice, and the energy dissipates, and the two are able to avoid another paradoxical spark like the first time they met and shook hands- a rather extreme thing that meant the static electricity would always happen when they met up.
"Been a while, hasn't it?" the Doctor (11th Doctor) asked, walking out of the TARDIS before his companion, as always. Following him is Rose Tyler, the Torchwood team (Jack, Ianto, Owen, Gwen, Toshiko) and a rather annoyed pair of Silurians. Which, by the way, are cold-blooded, and they don't like the cold of the artic world where Guy has his fortress set up.
"Yeah, I know," Guy replied. "Are you sure you don't want to wear a coat, Fremaira?" he asked the female Silurian, smiling somewhat.
Fremaira shivered, shook her head, and then nodded quickly. "I think I will be fine if I can get someplace warmer than these hallways," she answered, teeth some-what chattering.
Pollic to her right nodded in agreement. Despite the fact that he was wearing a rather thin looking coat over his usual armor, he was obviously still cold. Makes sense, though, considering cold-blooded animals, including Silurians, can't manufacture much heat for themselves. Luckily, Guy had that covered.
"I know, you must be really suffering in the hallways. Well, this does lead outside…" he said, trailing off for a moment, but then perking back up, continuing talking. "So, anyone up for a warmer place to sit?"
Everyone but Junior nodded. Of course, being a warm-blooded mammal with two hearts, he didn't really get affected by the cold. But, heat did have some greater effects on him than it would a human, so he tended to try to keep to cooler climates if possible.
Guy waved a hand in the direction of the sitting room down the hall, and off the group went, including the TARDIS, who apparently doesn't like the cold much either, despite the fact that she has dealt with many snow storms, as she says it clunks up her systems. The others think she just wants to stay near the Doctor, which makes sense, since he has already gone through all these new experiences with her, and they probably would cope better together for the loss of Amy and Rory, which did happened recently, although the Doctor has already started journeying with Clara. (He went onto retirement first, then met Clara, then came here, all within less than two-and-a-half weeks.) They were fine, right?
Walking to a set of double doors, Guy opens the left door, and the group hurries in before he can really get much space between him and the doorway. Junior, though, goes in face-palming, shaking his head like he's embarrassed. Which, in a way, he was. It made sense, because Guy himself felt a little embarrassment when he had to take anyone to anywhere public. They usually were surprised by the locals, whether they were elven, humanoid, semi-human, or just downright weird looking, but they were all friendly. They did try to avoid actual humans, though, because they tended to destroy large habitats to their liking, as they say. This is precisely why they almost objected when I built my fortress, but then they asked for their town to be in the middle of the walls for protection from the other, less friendly creatures that lurk in the shadows. Actually, most of them were actually dark, shadow-made creatures that were as freaky as you can get. Details about them later…
Guy follows Junior, closing the door behind him to keep the heat in. The sitting room, large and extremely modern compared to the rest of the fortress. Everyone, though, was looking at Guy's rather extensive collection of martial arts weapons on the walls, ranging from fencing swords, broadswords, dagger sets, a rack for a dagger and spinning blade weapon set, a rack for a bow and arrows, which were promptly filled by the very man who used them every day for various purposes.
Shaking his head, Junior remarks, "I told you he had the biggest collection of martial arts stuff I've ever seen." The others all nod in agreement, all still in too much awe to think of the rather embarrassing and very personal things that possibly could happen whenever the people from earth wanted.
"Alright, I think some of you are planning on stealing some stuff-" Guy started but was promptly halted when Fremaira removed a pair of throwing stars from the Japanese section of the wall. Immediately, she was frozen solid in a block of ice, and the throwing stars promptly zipped back into place. Fremaira started shaking as the ice around her started to melt at a rapid pace, and within ten seconds was fee. The whole ordeal took fifteen seconds total.
"Lesson learned?" Guy asked.
Fremaira, panting from her rather cold experience, merely nodded in confirmation. The others, though, except for Junior, who had helped set the system up in the first place, all verbally replied, "Yes," nodded, and stepped back from the weapons like they, too, would be frozen into blocks of ice.
Guy and Junior smiled at the gesture, and Guy invited everyone over to the ring of seats in the center of the room. From the door's perspective, you could see a sofa on either side, and a love seat on the far side, three chairs adjacent, facing away from the door. End tables were on the sides of the sofas, and on them were coasters for drinks later, as well as a piece of paper, which the author man quickly picked up, and held in front of him. Guy spoke to the group, saying, "There are ground rules here, just like usual, but with some of my own twists guys, so keep up."
Jack, Gwen and Owen roll their eyes, and some of the others all sigh. Toshiko, though, polite and calm as usual, is Guy's new favorite when it comes to perky attitudes towards the author. That will likely soon change, though.
"Rule number 1," Guy continued, trying to ignore the others, "there will always be a code of conduct for this fanfic, no loop holes without my say-so."
"Hence the last six words," Owen interrupted. "Does that mean-"
"Everything goes though me, period," Guy said flatly. "Moving on to rule two: everything the readers say and do, as well as the characters, must be rated- T! Who wrote this!? People get to do what they want, and they will, no matter what ground rules I set forth, will always violate them."
Doctor: "What?! No!"
Rose: "… Oh gosh…"
Jack: devious smile, turns to Ianto, then smiles and winks.
Ianto: smiles back at Jack.
Martha: "How are you going to make sure we don't get killed and have to be resurrected like the Master did?!"
Gwen: "Is it good or bad Jack and Ianto are staring at each other?"
Toshiko: "Bad things will happen to us all- including you- if we don't have a T rating."
Fremaira: "Agreed. I don't want to get all… let's not go there, okay?"
Pollic: just stares, like nothing is happening, but remembers running into a fangirl last week. And it was not a pretty thing that happened. How did she get that rope? Or the whip?! The Silurian visibly shudders. "I don't want that to happen again…" he whispered to himself.
"Fine, you babies!" Guy says, rewriting the rule he had just crossed out. "Everything the readers and characters do and say must be rated T, but innuendos are allowed. Also, violence is rather inevitable, considering the shadows outside."
"The what outside?" the Doctor asks.
"Oh, nothing, just the cousins of the Vashta Nerada, the Dark shadows," Guy answered. "They don't eat flesh, they strip out your soul, and then kill the body in a fashion similar to a Reaver in the Firefly universe would."
"Ummm… I think you just made Ianto have a minor mental break-down," Junior remarks with concern, looking at the man in question, who was shuddering at the thought of rapist Reavers. "Let's move on to something a little more pleasant, shall we?" Junior suggested.
"Yes, let's," Jack agreed out of concern for his lover.
"Alright, then rule three: never will there be any OC I didn't create myself in this story. Not a single one. No chance for any out-of-context character here, because they are part of my context, okay?" Guy continued.
"Who the heck is he talking to?" Gwen whispered to Jack.
"He is talking to a recorder that creates a fanfiction about us. You should know that by now," Jack answered her.
"Right, I guess I should by now, seeing as he is just as mad as Junior is, and worse than Junior said," Gwen retorted.
"Hey, I heard that," Guy said, and Junior stared with rather vicious intent, trying to keep from attacking the girl. Or, as Guy sometimes calls them, girf or girfs, as you may notice the joke. And, no, Guy didn't watch it, he merely saw that part.
"Junior, stop staring at her like she's your chew toy," Pollic pipes up, and everyone turns to see an embarrassed timelord hybrid.
"Sorry, got a little carried away…" Junior remarked. He rapidly changed the subject back to the matter at hand. "So, there's one last rule, right Mr. Elf-Guy?"
Now it was Guy's turn to be angry. "Don't you DARE call me that. That is actually a side rule, but it is important if you want to make sure your messages for dares et cetera gets used. Anyway," Guy continues, "there is one more rule."
Everyone stares intently at the author as he reads with dramatic tone. "For everyone who isn't currently here, in this dimension, and needs to be asked a question or dared something, they will be brought here via the TARDIS. If they are time-travel dead, or time prevents me from getting them here, then they are not allowed to be used for questions or dares. I can bring them back, but I hate necromancy. It is the faintest bit of life, and it only works once. So, no necromancy allowed."
"Why the TARDIS? Why not-" the doctor started to ask, but Guy put his finger on the timelord's lips, smiling.
"The readers haven't yet gotten that far with the current storyline. Unless, of course, you find this fanfic when The Existence of Our Worlds and Thoughts is complete and everything is all said and done," Guy instructed. "So, no spoilers for my stories, as I have yet to learn all of them from mister know-it-all-" indicates Junior- "and his friends," Guy finishes, indicating all the others on his last phrase. "Also, side-rule for you people in the fanfic, you must obey my every command, or I will make you using my awesome author person powers." Guy demonstrates by poofing Jack next to the Doctor, Gwen over to Junior, and then levitating Junior over to his side. "There, isn't that all nice and mixed up?" Guy asks everyone, who shakes their heads and all move back to where they originally were, the author allowing them to roam a little before the ensuing chaos could begin.
"Alright, you people are no fun," Guy remarks as they finish replacing themselves. "Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the ensuing chaos that will reign down on you peoples."
"What ensuing chaos?" Fremaira asks.
"You'll see," Guy said simply. "Now, go to your rooms!" he then commanded.
"How are we supposed to-" Jack started to question, but suddenly everyone was beamed into their rooms, but Junior, the TARDIS and Guy all still remained in the sitting room.
"Alright Junior, no spoilers, you swear?" Guy asks him.
The timelord sighs. "Fine, no spoilers," he finally replies after a moment of thought. "But, if it comes up, I will tell all I need to, okay?"
"Only everything allowed, and you will know when you are venturing into not allowed territory, as this will happen," Guy retorts, waving his hand on the word this, making Junior go to his room like all the others once he finished speaking.
"Okay, rules to the readers: if you try to get spoils from me you will have my version of XANA released onto your computers, and this fanfic includes every universe I know of that I can pull characters from: Harry Potter- preferably the movie universe- the Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flammel, Inkheart, Tunnels, Doctor Who, Code Lyoko original and evolution, Firefly, Torchwood, Professor Layton up to Miracle Mask on US release plus spoilers for those who want to know how Azaran Legacies ends as I cheated and looked it up and it should be awesome, my fanfics of course, Tower Prep, all of Ben 10 minus the omniverse part, Young Justice, Hunger Games- books and movies once the movie series is complete as they are slightly so slightly different- My Babysitter's a Vampire- movie and series are together- the Inheritance cycle- just not the Eragon movie, because I haven't watched it as I have heard it sucks compared to the books- Kane Chronicles, Percy Jackson & the Olympians, The Heroes of Olympus, and maybe some others I'm forgetting. You should ask me if I have seen or read the series in question, and I may or may not be able to pull the characters for the shortest while out of their universe while we ask those questions or dares. But, please, try your best to remain as close to 50% total Doctor who, and try your best not to get too attached to another series, or I may have to go all confusing cross-over and that won't be fun. So, yeah, just ask away your dares and truths, but try your best to get all your dares as quickly as possible. Write them in the reviews, and ask away. Also, read my ongoing fanfic (or fanfics for future reference) and this is currently The Existence of Our Worlds and Our Thoughts. It will have some stuff that is in here explained in detail. Otherwise, go nuts! Be yourselves, leave your innuendos (winks at readers) but not your purely sexual references, okay? I try my best to keep it rated T people, so do your part!" Guy instructs readers. "Okay, I think I need to go to bed now." Guy yawns, and looks at the wall clock and sees it is nearly midnight. "Gosh, I need to go to sleep so I can cook breakfast tomorrow." And off the author poofs, and the chapter ends.
A/N: You heard the author! I mean, me! Gosh, I am tired. I write these way too late in the day. It's actually past midnight for me, so yeah. Read and review people, and leave your truths, dares, more dares, more truths and even more dares in the reviews. Okay, I am now done.